PART TWELVE: Interview Technique 101

Special thanks to Sevais for getting me off my derriere, and Minerva Solo for updating Caffeine And Saccharine and thus forcing me to up the ante in the nicest possible way. Apologies because I'm neurotic about a) the suckier aspects of life b)the suckier aspects of this fic and c) making sure all my neuroses don't fall into my fic. That wasn't a lame-ass plea for sympathy, it was just a partial explanation. Since, nice people like you deserve one.

This was going to be easy, thought Jubilee, okay not easy because the amazing Frost Woman, whose thoughts could freeze at a thousand paces and whose allure was irresistible to men (at times she had considered getting a bustier herself), had finally shoed everyone else out of the office. Everyone else consisting of anyone whose names weren't Paige, Annie and Jubilation.

Ms Frost had been calling her Jubilation, that was not a good sign in her book, it probably meant she was in trouble, but then, Ms Frost calling her Jubilee outside of the field would have meant that the end of the world was nigh and Nathan was having Scott's baby. And that was just ewww… majorly major ick there, but it could just happen, especially if a certain creepy doctor took up gynaecology.

Ms Frost was staring at Jubilee and she realised that she ought to be looking a) ashamed and b) like she was listening.

Ms Frost wasn't speaking in that coolly seductive whisper that was still giving Julio tremors back in the rec room, nor was she using that reasonable understanding tone she had used on the guys five minutes ago. When Kurt had somehow got it into his head to suggest, bashfully, that this wasn't all their fault and Emma had made a long speech about discipline and examples and discretely massaged the guilt centres in his brain.

Ms Frost was piss… very very annoyed. More annoyed than when Jubilee had turned the staircase back in Massachusetts into a ski-slope with lots of big white sheets and a pail of nails. More annoyed than when she found a frog in her best bustier and a mysterious lingering smell of burnt rubber. And probably, or so Jubilee had thought, more annoyed than when Jean had discovered her in bed with Scott wearing her old Phoenix costume, and thinking about it, it was probably the costume that made Jean go postal.

Annie had got off lightly, been told that the National Enquirer had warped her brain and it was clear that she thought she had in some way been genuinely helpful; and should a) consider the decorum required of Institute staff and her role in setting an example b) go and see Hank and get a remedial reading list to stop the atrophy of her brain and c) not jump to conclusions or Emma would stop her ability to gossip with a little psychic brain surgery, the way you do.

Paige had got off lightly, or at least lightly-ish, and had been told that Jubilee had led her astray and she was to write a long essay on personal privacy and spend the next month working with Sage on database security and cicely (or at least that's what it sounded like) protocols.

And Jubilee was beginning to get worried since it was so clear that Frosty was actually, you know, frosty and had been working herself up to deal with the person who she thought was responsible for this media explosion. So, any port in a storm, Jubilee grabbed on to one old piece of advice: in a tough interview it always helps to imagine the interviewer naked.

It wasn't as if this was hard, she was so naked already, Jesus H Christ, Jubilee thought, she's wearing even less clothes than back when she and Sean (ne'er Mr Cassidy, lass) Cassidy were all hormones-at-dawn and perpetually five minutes away from dragging each other into the stationary closet. And what could a fully qualified Sex Therapist do with a pencil, huh? Okay, maybe that was taking the whole naked thang a bit too far.

Still, it looked like Mr Summers was a bad influence on Frosty, Jubilee thought about that for a moment, and threw it in with the Nate and Scott baby idea.

So, imagining Ms Frost naked wasn't hard work, actually it was quite fun, imagining her unexpectedly naked in all sorts of places, like the canteen, as a result of a super sneaky telekinetic attack by Jean or maybe Rachel. Quite a lot of fun really, since it enabled her to fade out the irate White Queen's ranting 'til she couldn't even hear what she was saying.

It was only when Ms Frost's tone of voice changed, that she snapped out of it, only to find herself looking into big concerned eyes, it wasn't a usual look on the White Queen, so it's hardly surprising that she almost fell out of her chair.

"There, Jubilee, or do you prefer Jubes?" said Ms Frost, the very image of motherly concern (which is a hard thing to do in a bustier, a g-string and a pair of thigh boots, so it has to be admired that Emma could do it, even if it might owe something to mimetic programming), "Why don't you come sit over here, on the chaise, and I'll make you something soothing to drink."

Jubilee moved to the chaise in shell-shocked silence as Ms Frost busied herself making hot chocolate, "It's Green and Blacks, fully organic, of course, I have only the best for my girls, you know that, don't you, Jubilee?

Surely you know that I am always there for my girls, for I am in my prime, and it belongs to you, Jubilee, you have to remember that, I've dedicated it to girls like you, making up for the sins of the past, my dear girl."

Ms Frost pierced her with a hard-soft gaze of great intensity from the armchair, "Oh Jubes, why didn't you tell me? Why did you feel you had to keep it a secret…"

Obi-wan, I am getting a bad feeling about this, thought Jubilee.

"…Oh Jubilation, why didn't you come speak with me, or one of the student counsellors, Karma for instance, or even Jean-Paul, he can be remarkably sensitive behind that bitchy exterior so very like my poor brother Christian. You see, that's what happens if you keep this inside you, refuse to let it out, refuse to be yourself. You end up like my brother, trapped afraid and alone, you could even turn to drugs; too nervous to take that one step to freedom. Of course, Jubilee, I understand if you're embarrassed, I understand if you want to keep it under your hat for the moment, but you must realise that you have my full understanding and support whatever you choose…"

Oh god, Jubilee thought, she thinks I'm… Interview advice so sucks, I'm so going to get Mr Cassidy for this and his stupid careers talk…