THEN AND NOW

By: Miguel Artadi

Disclaimer: I don't own GTO and any of the characters in it. I'd be rich if I did.

( ) = Kanzaki's thoughts

Chapter X - Reality Check

"You love this place, don't you?" Kanzaki piped up, a tad curious hinting evident in her voice.

The day had begun innocently enough. The two geniuses had gone out on the town to quietly celebrate their relationship reaching the three-month mark; starting off with dinner and a few drinks, then deciding to cap it off as they normally did, finding themselves again strolling lazily along the pathways of Inokashira Park, worn but happy after the day's events.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Well to say that half our dates end up here would be a gross understatement."

Kikuchi chuckled. "True. Why? Afraid the goddess Benzaiten will take me away from you?1 You're the last person I'd expect to believe in such superstition miss Kanzaki." He replied, teasing her playfully the way he always did in their lighter moments.

Urumi raised an eyebrow in mock surprise. (Ooooh.)

"Psh. Is that your half-assed way of telling me you're head over heels in love with me?"

"Maybe. Is that YOURS?" he countered.

Kanzaki made a face. (Is it though?)

Yoshito laughed heartedly and squeezed her hand. She responded by pressing closer to him, taking in the warmth his body offered. For all intents and purposes, bliss was the order of the night as they continued to enjoy their little walk. Moving further along the path, they found to their liking that their favorite bench was deserted, and decided to settle themselves down and unwind, each lost in their own thoughts. In the silence, Kikuchi reached around and draped his arm around Urumi, pulling her in and playing with her hair. She in turn leaned even closer and rested her head on his shoulders, savoring the cool night air.

If Kanzaki was feline, she would've been purring contentedly as she closed her eyes and relaxed. In her mind replayed a conversation she had with Nomura Tomoko a few weeks earlier. Her best friend since Seirin had now bloomed into an entertainment icon in Asia, and had spent the past few months abroad filming her most recent project. Keeping in touch for the past decade had mostly been in the form of irregular e-mails, with the occasional phone call here and there occurring when busy schedules allowed, finally punctuated by the much rarer instances of getting together when they actually found themselves in the same city. That night however, it was by mobile from Toroko on location in Hong Kong.

"So when are you coming back to Tokyo? Been ages since I last saw you." Kanzaki asked.

"About another month or so. I should get some time off when we wrap the shoots and the editing begins. But wait, forget that. I want to hear about what you've been up to. That last email you sent me left me hanging. So who's the 'old friend' you hooked up with?"

If there was one single thing that Nomura was better at than Kanzaki, IQ differences and everything it came with taken into account, relationships and dealing with the opposite sex was it. Made quite a lot of sense too, since Nomura with her innocent face, F cups and slender waist had been the stuff of young men's wet dreams since her debut ten-plus years ago.

Urumi bit her lip. "Well... um... you remember Kikuchi?"

Tomoko giggled. "Kikuchi Yoshito? Really? Well... I'm not really that surprised. It's about time, I must say."

(You too? Geez.)

"Are you serious? I guess someone forgot to tell me about it, huh?"

"I think everyone thought you two would be good together, no one just bothered to say anything because they were afraid of getting on your bad side. You know, I think he'd be a great match for you; he's not the type to bend over and scare easily when you start playing your mind games. Which is more than I can say for the other boytoys you've told me about."

Urumi smiled. Guilty as charged.

"Yeah well he's definitely a tougher nut to crack. But we'll see." She finished with a laugh.

"Ooooh you're so bad. Now be honest girl, is it serious?"

Kanzaki started twirling her hair at this point. "I think...I hope so. Kikuchi's a good man; stable and dependable, but definitely not boring like I first thought he was. Funny too, so I guess hanging out with 'teach rubbed off on him some. He's also a lot more complex than he lets on, and I like that. We take good care of each other, which is always a good thing. Of course he's still a guy, which means in some ways he's still like a big kid. I mean, you know men; gadgets and gizmos, toys for the big boys, guys' night out and what have you. But don't get me wrong, I care for him a lot."

"Mmm-hmm. You two fight?"

"Of course. Can you believe that sometimes he actually prefers to spend time with his friends rather than me? And don't get me started when Yoshikawa comes into town. Him, Yoshito and Onizuka just go crazy I tell you. Think about it, three guys out on the town who KNOW they've got looks, brains, money and muscle, all fueled by alcohol."

Nomura giggled, knowing perfectly what her friend meant. Boys will indeed be boys, no matter how old they are; which isn't necessarily a bad thing, mind you.

"Okay, tell me everything. And I mean EVERYTHING from the very beginning. Don't skimp on the details."

"Haha. Okay. Well you see about two months back, just about a week or so after I arrive in town, I get this phone call in my hotel room, which I thought was really weird because I told the staff not to..."

And so for the next hour, Kanzaki proceeded to narrate and fill her best friend in with intricate detail on how the past few months had been regarding her and her boyfriend's relationship. The ups, the downs, the dates and the intimate post-date hormone-burning sessions... not a single detail spared. Listening intently, now and then Toroko would burst out laughing and ask a question.

"So is he a good kisser?"

and

"Are you serious? He's got a birthmark right on his what?"

also

"Oh my God. He did that? You poor thing. You didn't let him get away with that did you?"

and of course,

"Haha!! He's ticklish WHERE???"

Finally finishing, out of breath from giggling and laughing so hard, Kanzaki sighed. Tomoko noted this and spoke first, breaking the silence.

"It sounds like you're falling for him, I mean if you haven't already."

This immediately had Urumi on the defensive. "Whaaat? That's crazy. I care for him yes, but falling for him? Please. Now whatever makes you say that?"

The genius heard her friend sigh loudly through the earpiece. "Urumi, I'm your best friend, so don't lie to me. Listen to yourself. You've talked about him for the past hour, given me the smallest details on your relationship with him. Told me how great he is, complained about how you wish he could change in the tiniest ways... I mean do I have to go on?"

Silence.

"Urumi dear, there's nothing wrong with admitting that you love someone."

(Yes there is.)

"But that makes you open to getting hurt." Urumi finally relenting, replied. "I mean, look at what Fujimori did when I got close to her." She added, again referring to that life-changing event back in elementary.

"You're right, but what about Onizuka? He never abandoned you, or any of us for that matter."

"I know. But 'teach is different; he's one of those one-in-a-million type of people. Now what are my chances that Kikuchi is exactly like that? Next to impossible I tell you. And trust me, I've done the math." She shot back, purposely ignoring for the moment that her dream that fateful night had answered this question already. Normally, reasoning with Nomura was peanuts. For the next few minutes however, Kanzaki saw a completely different side to her best friend, as Tomoko cleared her throat, changed her tone and spoke in a level, modulated voice. A trick she obviously picked up in her acting career.

"Urumi... pardon me in advance for what I'm about to say. But as your best friend, it's my obligation to do so."

(Huh?)

"I love you like a sister, but you're... you're still acting like a coward."

Urumi couldn't believe her ears. "Excuse me?"

"Let me finish. You've been pushing people away your entire life. People you think that had the capacity to hurt you if they got too close: your friends, teachers, even those guys you met while you were traveling the world, some of which I'm sure had genuine intentions towards you. Now I'm not quite unsure if this is the result of that mess with Fujimori, or if it comes from even earlier on with your issues with your mother, but let me tell you this: these are the most shallow reasons not to trust and love someone. You see the moment you sense that things are getting really serious, and the tendency for you to get hurt gets bigger, you panic."

"Tomoko, stop it."

"I'm sorry but I will not. Hang up if you want, but I'm going to continue until you do so." Nomura answered, after which she started again right where she left off.

"You panic. At first you hold them at arm's length, which I think you're doing now. Then you start pushing them away. And when that doesn't work, you MAKE them walk away from you by pulling off some evil, crazy scheme. Now when they finally do and everything's over and done with, you end up feeling alone and sorry for yourself, having once again accomplished your self-fulfilling abandonment issues."

With that last line, tears slowly rolled down Kanzaki's cheeks, her tasting the salty tang of them upon reaching her lips . Part of her wanted to hang up and end the conversation, but the other side that held her back from doing so knew Tomoko was right.

"It's what you've been doing forever Urumi. Owing to your genius, it explains everything perfectly. Except you didn't count on two things: Onizuka's bull-headedness and myself actually figuring it out."

(But... what? How?) she thought as Nomura was right again. The two people that escaped Kanzaki's prodigious 'screening' process and had found their ways into her confidence was Onizuka and Toroko. Eikichi simply having gotten through by the sheer anti-thetic brilliance of his stupidity and Tomoko, owing to Urumi's deductive reasoning that her extremely naive yet giving nature, compounded along with her 'slowness' meant that she realistically did not pose any sort of threat to someone with Urumi's level of intellect.

Hearing this, Kanzaki was flabbergasted. She found herself grasping for words. "I'm sorry. Please don't think that..."

"Oh hush. I figured it out a long time ago and it doesn't change anything. You're my best friend. Period."

"Thank... you."

"Anyway my point is you have to stop hurting yourself Urumi. Yes you're a far cry from the emotional black hole you were in Seirin, but you're still holding yourself back from experiencing what life has to offer fully. And trust me. It's beautiful."

(But...)

"What if it doesn't work out?"

"Then at the very least you would've grown as a person. Plus I'm certain that knowing you, you'll still have all the wonderful memories of the relationship; which you can always keep replaying over and over in your head."

"You make it sound so simple Tomoko."

"Only because it is. C'mon, just trust me on this. Please?"

Kanzaki sighed. "Yeah. Okay. You're right."

"Good. Hee-hee. You won't regret it."

"Thanks for straightening me out."

"You're very welcome. Sorry if I was a little rough on you back there."

"Naw it's okay, you did what you had to do I guess. Answer me this though, where did you learn to talk like that? Self-fulfilling abandonment issues? Emotional black holes? Where'd you dig that up? Been reading much psych material lately?"

"Of course not! I got them from soap opera scripts silly, where else?"

(Wonderful.)

"Anyway... it's getting late. I have an early shoot tomorrow morning. Keep me updated with what happens to you two?"

"Promise. Take care y'hear? G'night."

"You too."

Setting down the phone after hearing the disconnecting 'click,' Urumi spent another ten minutes lying face-up on her bed and staring up at the ceiling. She thought more of Kikuchi Yoshito... and smiled at the sweet memories they brought her.

(I THINK I love you.) she thought. Wanting to try it out, she cleared her throat and tried saying it out loud.

"I... love..."

(Oh for crying out loud, we're just trying it out. One more time?)

"I love you."

"Urumi?"

(No way that's Tomoko. Yoshito?)

"Huh?" Kanzaki looked around, her eyes focusing on Kikuchi's face hovering just inches away from hers, his hand on her cheek. "Yoshito? What's going on?" Kanzaki blurted out, apparently confused. She found herself lying down on the park bench face up, her head resting on his lap.

"You fell asleep. You looked so cute I didn't want to wake you. Plus you seemed really tired, so I let you sleep on my lap and watched over you. It's been an hour, more or less."

"I did? Sorry. Not much of an anniversary date huh?" Urumi replied with a grin, stretching and shaking the cobwebs off.

"Nah, pretty interesting one actually. You do know you talk in your sleep right?"

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N:

1 - According to local Kichijoji lore, the goddess Benzaiten, who is enshrined within the park in a small Meiseisan Taiseiji temple, seems to be a jealous one. The story is that if you take your date to the park, you will break up soon after.

Sorry for the long delay everyone, school's about to begin and preparing for it has been eating up most of my energy and time. Anyhow, I still have every intention of finishing this fic, so even though the updates will come less often, I promise that they will.

Again, thanks to those who took the time out to R&R! Namely: TimeReaper, Misao Seta, iron kitty, seth7, Allence of the Weed, Prizz, mikethebigW, Dargon sheinto, Ayce Shade, fayth03, A Noble Romancer, Miriae and rabid lola. Thank you, thank you, THANK you. =)

Time Reaper, Misao Seta, Dargon Sheinto: Glad you liked it! Hope you liked this one as well! Thanks for reviewing!

iron kitty: Apologies again if this took so long, but hey! Better late than never right? Thanks for the review! =D Oh, and ONLY 5 clicks of damage??!? Doh.

seth7: Dude, you flatter me too much =) Thanks bro. Hope you enjoyed this one as well!

Allence of the Weed: 'Kaw naman oh... I have no idea how to respond to that =P thanks =)

Prizz: Haha sorry if you found the last one too short. Maybe this one fills ya up better? :p

mikethebigW: As always, thanks for reviewing matey. I'm just guessing I've got 2 or 3 more good chapters left in me before this turns stale. Which I don't want to happen of course. But hey, who knows right?? Thanks for the props! Keep rockin!

Ayce Shade: Yeah that's me, mister convo guy. Heh. To each his (or her) own right? Glad you found it interesting though, thanks for reviewing!

fayth03: Yeah, I think they're perfect for each other too. =)

A Noble Romancer: Man, I really don't know how to respond to your review. I'm frickn speechless here. THANK YOU. I hope you like this chapter as well. Again, thanks!

Miriae: Yeah, beer does wonders =P

rabid lola: Amen to "life's too short." Glad you liked it!

Till the next time!

ja ne =)