Well. By now, you've probably heard about Weird Ships Week. And if you haven't...where have you been? Not to worry, I'll explain. ^_^ I've decided I like this smiley, so I shall sprinkle this A/N with it. ^_^
It's a week, this week in fact ^_^ where we all post fics with the weirdest ships (the word comes from relationships, in case you were curious) we can think of. The weirdest ship wins a prize! Yahoo! What is the prize...ah...well...it's GOOD! Yes, good! Good is winning!
So...read this and, pretty please, ^_^ review it, and, pretty please, vote for it. Next week is the voting. So, yeah.
By the way, it's a songfic to The Reason by Hoobastank. ^_^Does your Hooba stank? Well, clean it. Okay, never mind. And the ship is...**dramatic music**...DUNCAN/CARMELITA **crescendo**
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I'm not a perfect person
As many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know...
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You know how the further you get into something, the harder it is to get out? Simple logic, really. The more you go along with the crowd, the harder it is to be an individual. You even kind of forget how to be unique.
I should know. That simple fact ruined something that still means a lot to me.
But I'm getting ahead of myself. I guess I should start over, at the beginning. You could say it all really started when I started school at Prufrock Prep. I was lucky—at least, at the time I considered myself lucky—and I got accepted into the biggest crowd. You know, there's one everywhere. They're always busy, and—from the outside—they look awesome.
And it was awesome. Okay, so we might have, uh, hurt a few feelings, but they didn't matter, did they? For the most part, it was truly great.
Then everything changed.
I was eating lunch at my normal table when the door to the cafeteria opened and in walked two new kids. They were sort of huddled together. There was a boy and a girl, and they looked almost completely identical, huge, scared-looking dark brown eyes and dark hair. They cautiously approached our table.
The boy gave me a hesitant smile. "Uh, hi. My name is Duncan Quagmire, and this is my sister, Isadora." The girl gave a nervous little wave. "Could we sit here?"
I grinned at him. I knew how tough it was to be a new student. And he was kind of cute. I scooted over to make room. "Sure. Welcome to Prufrock. My name's Carmelita Spats, and—"
Another girl who was sitting across from me rolled her eyes. "Hi." She said it slowly. "Which side of the building are your dorms on?"
The girl, Isadora, looked at us with very wide eyes. "We, uh, don't have a dormitory. We don't have a guardian to sign the permission slip..." She shuddered. "Our parents died when our house burned down. We also..." she gulped. "Our brother, Quigley, died too..."
I gave a tiny gasp. "Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that—"
"Oh my gosh," said a boy sitting next to me. "So you're orphans?"
Duncan winced. "Technically...yes."
"You don't even have a dorm room?" asked a girl who had her mouth full of a sandwich.
"I said that," said Isadora, her eyes getting even bigger, her face paler, and her mouth tinier.
A girl who was higher than most of us on the social scale came over to the table with her lunch. "Hey, you're in my seat," she said to Duncan, who hurriedly stood up. She turned to the rest of us. "Who're the new cakesniffers?"
"They're not cakesniffers," I said quickly. "They're orphans."
"Orphan cakesniffers, then," she said calmly. She turned to them. "Go away, leave our table alone, you cakesniffers."
"Wait—" I said softly. And if my life were some sort of movie, the Quagmires would have been allowed to stay at our table, and we'd have kicked out the other girl. But life is no movie.
Every pair of eyes in the room, including the Quagmires', were suddenly fixed on me.
"What, Carmelita?" sneered a boy
sitting across from me. "Want to go sit with the cake sniffing orphans?"
I shook my head. I looked down
at my hands so I wouldn't have to see their faces. But I could feel Duncan
looking at me. "No," I said in a very small voice. "Go away...you...you
cakesniffers."
After what felt like forever, I looked up. Lunch had resumed, and the Quagmires were sitting together at a table.
I went back to my lunch. They were at a table all by themselves, I was surrounded by my clique.
So why did I feel like I was the one who was left alone?
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I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And that reason is you
-------------------
I was feeling more and more smothered. To squeeze some lemon juice into my wound, Duncan had been assigned into my classroom, and we sat very close. Stupid assigned seats. (A/N: For the first time, Hermione Baudelaire has actually looked in TAA to see where Carmelita sat. No applause, please...**realizes she's all alone** Ah, never mind. Just so you know what I go through for you people...)
Every day I could see him, writing things down in a dark green notebook, listening and not listening to the teacher...I started to have a...sort of...miniscule...crush. But the more I grew to like him, the more I was forced to torment him. Or maybe I was forcing myself....No, I couldn't stop it. Middle scholars can be vicious.
And I really did like him. It was just...I couldn't. And nobody could know I liked him...So picking on him was the only choice I had.
Watching him suffer was horrible, of course, but easier than speaking up about how I felt.
At least, it was until he got a girlfriend.
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I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with every day
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears
That's why I need you to hear...
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Three new kids. The Baudelaires. They had potential, don't get me wrong. But they were orphans, too. And they didn't bother me. I mean, I was the most popular girl at Prufrock by then. They were just some little cakesniffers.
But then they sat at the table with the Quagmires.
The first day they came, I kept glancing over at them as I ate. Discreetly, of course. I saw Duncan reach over and touch the hand of Violet Baudelaire.
Then I started viewing her as competition.
She was pretty, in a pale faced, dark shiny haired, sort of way. If she was Natalie Portman, then I was Brittany Spears. You know, she was less well known and a little less fake, but I was more famous, more reckless, and I had dated Justin Timberlake. But not Duncan Quagmire....Anyway. You could tell she'd been really rich, just by the way she carried herself.
And I watched them sit next to one another. Watched them talk through. ,You could class. Watched them pass notes. Watched them hold hands.
It just made me ache.
One day, they were just whispering to one another all class. I strained to hear them, but I couldn't. After class, I followed them down the hallway and out onto the lawn. They walked down into a tiny, putrid colored tin shack. I peered through a grubby window and gasped.
Their arms were wrapped around one another and their lips were firmly pressed together.
Something inside me crumbled.
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I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And the reason is you
-------------------
I walked mutely back to the dormitories, curling up on my bed. I buried my face into the pillow. Why hadn't I just sat with him? Why hadn't I? Why?
I saw so stupid! I hated myself! (And, being a Libra and more than a little....uh, self interested, this was a totally new feeling.)
The next day, we got a new gym teacher, Coach Genghis. He was a little creepy, but he had the weirdest beliefs. He thought, for example that orphans had strong legs. He wanted the Baudelaires to run special laps with him every night.
So why am I telling you this? He needed a special messenger to tell the Baudelaires every day at lunch. And guess who volunteered?
Yours truly, a moi.
So, every day at lunch I would go to Duncan's table. Every day I would try to catch his eye and tell him silently what I felt. Every day he'd be too smitten with stupid old Violet "poor little rich girl" Baudelaire to acknowledge my presence.
Every day I swore I'd change the next day.
Every day.
And then, before I could say anything, Duncan was suddenly gone.
-------------------
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
And that reason is you
-------------------
I was reading a Teen People article, sprawled on my bed, when a girl from my click known for her gossipy flair thrust open the door. "Carmelita!" she shrieked. "Guess what? Coach Genghis is actually a criminal named Count Olaf who's been following the Baudelaires for months! And he's captured the ugly twins and is dragging them across the lawn right now!" She didn't even stop for breath.
I let out a piercing squeal. "Oh my god, really?!"
"Yeah! You heard it here first!"
My heart was thudding. I felt dizzy and weak. Still, I had the strength to shoot past her, and run out to the lawn.
Sure enough, the gym teacher was being followed by two cafeteria workers, each dragging one of the Quagmires to a long black car.
They were pursued by Violet Baudelaire, her nerdy brother, their baby sister, vice principal Nero, and, for some reason, a random coughing guy.
"No!" screamed Violet, tripping over her feet. "Duncan!"
I rushed up to her. "What's happening?" I gasped, still panting from my sprint.
She was too hysterical to notice it was her arch-enemy. "Duncan's getting taken away! They're going to kill him and Isadora for the sapphires! They're supposed to inherit them when they turn eighteen and now I'll never...see...him...again..."
I guess she really didn't notice who I was, since then she start crying all over my almost brand new designer sweater vest.
"Get off me, you stupid cakesniffer," I snapped. I looked up just in time to see Duncan and his sister driven off in the car.
"Please, please, Mr. Poe, please follow them!" screamed her little brother who was suddenly yelling at the coughing man.
I didn't stick around to see what happened next.
I walked slowly back to my bedroom.
Duncan was gone. The Baudelaires were clearly leaving also.
Just the same, I'd sit at their table tomorrow.
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I found a reason to show
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
That reason if you
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There we go. I hope you liked it. It was fun to write. If you read the lyrics, you get MAJOR goldfish points, since I picked this song FOR the lyrics and not just the catchy hook...I try to write good songfics, but I just...write a lot...Anyhoo, I hope you liked it.
A Series of Unfortunate Events and all relating things copyright © Daniel Handler and HarperCollins and Nickolodeon. They are in no way whatsoever responsible for this ship, song, story, or any rash you may get after listening to any former members of a certain boy band, particularly Justin Timberlake and JC Chasez. So, if you get scaly hives after listening to 'Cry Me A River' or 'Blowing Me Up (With Her Love,)' do not call any of the aforementioned parties responsible for A Series of Unfortunate Events, since they will be angry at you. By the way, do you know who you SHOULD call after 'Rock Your Body' induces vomiting? I've been trying to find out, but nobody'll tell me...