The Wrath of Cal
[Scene: the bench outside Widow's Vale High School. Morgan, Bree,
Robbie, Raven, Alisa, Jenna, Sharon, Ethan, and Killian are sitting
there. Hunter comes running up to them, out of breath.]
HUNTER: I – I – I ... *collapses on the ground, unconscious*
MORGAN: Uh ... Hunter?
KILLIAN: *relieved* Ah, finally! Thought that smarmy bloke would never
leave!
RAVEN: He just got here.
KILLIAN: So?
JENNA: What do you think he was trying to tell us?
ETHAN: Um ... I dunno.
ROBBIE: Maybe he wanted to propose to Morgan.
BREE: *shakes head in disgust* Robbie, you are so thick. *pause* I
mean that in the nicest way possible.
ROBBIE: I love you.
BREE: I love you, too.
*insert makeout session*
MORGAN: Okay, Robbie and Bree are out. We still have to figure out
what he wanted to tell us.
SHARON: We should try to wake him up.
KILLIAN: Do we have to?
MORGAN: *considers* Well, maybe not. He does look rather sexy when
he's sleeping.
ALISA: I think we should ask him what he wanted to tell us.
MORGAN: Ah, keep out of this, midget.
ALISA: *tearfully* Waaaah! *runs off crying*
*Hunter wakes up*
MORGAN: Hunter, are you okay?
HUNTER: I was faking it! *almost crying* None of you care about me!
MORGAN: Uh ... we were faking it, too.
HUNTER: *cheerfully* Oh, well, that's all fine and dandy, then.
JENNA: So what were you going to tell us?
HUNTER: Huh? Oh, yeah! *dramatically* There's a ghost on the loose!
*silence*
MATT: Huh?
MORGAN: Where?
RAVEN: There?
JENNA: No, over there.
HUNTER: *irritated* Shut up, you ponces! Monsters are on the loose at
Widow's Vale High School!
RAVEN: Of course there are. Have you met my calc teacher?
HUNTER: *points* Is that your calc teacher?
*he points to an evil demony thingie. In short, a swirling mass of
ghosty-ness*
RAVEN: They might be related. I can see the family resemblance. *comes
to her senses* Oh ... my ... goddess!
MORGAN: *gaping stupidly* What is that?
CAL'S VOICE: *eerily* Mooooorgan ...
MORGAN: I know that voice ... who was it ... I can't ... remember ...
CAL'S VOICE: IT'S CAL, YOU IDIOT!
MORGAN: *brightly* Oh, right, that's it! *does a double take*
CAL?!?!?!
HUNTER: *disgusted* Cal.
CAL'S VOICE: That's right, dear brother!
HUNTER: Technically, we're only half-brothers.
CAL'S VOICE: *irritated pause* So what? I'm going to destroy you and
your coven! Feel the wrath of the pissed off ghost!
MORGAN: You can't do this!
CAL'S VOICE: Oh, yeah? Says you! Watch and learn, meager mortals!
*the school building explodes*
RAVEN: Huh ... that's a new development.
ETHAN: Does this mean we get out of school early?
KILLIAN: Hey, something's coming towards us – aah!
*knocked unconscious by an unidentified flying object*
MORGAN: *disgusted* What is that?
RAVEN: It appears to be Alisa's disembodied arm.
JENNA: She must have been caught in the explosion.
RAVEN: Hey, you think my calc teacher was?
SHARON: Alisa's dead ...
*moment of silence*
MORGAN: Ah, well.
ETHAN: She was a little annoying.
CAL'S VOICE: HEY! STOP IGNORING ME! I'M AN EVIL DEMONIC GHOST, AND
YOU'RE ALL IGNORING ME!
MORGAN: *quickly* Sorry.
JENNA: Sorry.
SHARON: Sorry, Cal.
HUNTER: Don't apologize to him! He's an evil ghost, remember?
MORGAN: Don't insult Cal!
HUNTER: I thought you were over him!
MORGAN: *trapped* Uh ...
CAL'S VOICE: Aww, I knew you still loved me.
HUNTER: *now righteously pissed off* Okay! That's it! You're going
down!
CAL'S VOICE: We'll see about that.
*insert cheesy Matrix rip-off scene with cheesy battle music*
*Hunter lies on the ground, panting and bleeding. Cal is victorious*
HUNTER: *in a high-pitched girlie voice* You're ... so ... mean!
MORGAN: Are you okay, sweetie?
HUNTER/CAL'S VOICE: I'm fine.
HUNTER/CAL'S VOICE: *pause* She wasn't talking to you!
HUNTER/CAL'S VOICE: *another pause* Oh, yeah? Bring it on!
*insert Jackie Chan imitation. Needless to say, Hunter gets his ass
kicked*
MORGAN: *cries softly in the background*
*Killian sits up*
KILLIAN: CAN'T A MAN GET A DECENT SLEEP AROUND HERE??? YOU'RE ... ALL ...
PISSING ... ME ... OFF!!!
HUNTER: Bloody hell.
CAL'S VOICE: Uh-oh.
*Killian shoots witch fire. All are killed. Cal's ghost disappears.
Morgan is still alive*
MORGAN: *confused* Why didn't I die?
KILLIAN: *shrugs* The Bible says thou shalt respect thy family.
MORGAN: I thought you didn't believe in the Bible.
KILLIAN: I don't.
MORGAN: Okay.
*long pause*
*the ghosts of Raven, Hunter, Jenna, Ethan, and Sharon arise*
JENNA: Are we dead?
SHARON: I think so.
ETHAN: *pause* Cool.
JENNA: *sobs* I don't wanna be dead! I never got to make up with Matt!
RAVEN: I never got to make up with Sky!
SHARON: I never got to tell Ethan ... that I ... *sobs* loved him!
ETHAN: Thanks.
HUNTER: *sobbing* I miss Morgan! *sees her* Oh, never mind.
*Morgan and Killian watch them in stunned disbelief*
MORGAN: Are you guys ghosts?
SHARON: I think so.
MORGAN: *thinks, then considers* That's cool. Good for you. Blessed
be.
*the ghosts float off happily into the netherworld*
KILLIAN: *pause* So ... wanna go take over the world?
MORGAN: Sure. Let's go! Can we call Father first?
KILLIAN: Sure. *sending a witch message* Oh, Da ...
CIARAN: *teleports into the lawn and sees the destruction of the
school* Wow. I hope I won't have to separate you kids.
MORGAN: It wasn't us. Cal did it.
CIARAN: Oh. *pause* Wanna take over the world now?
MORGAN/KILLIAN: Sure!
*they all teleport out of the school*
*Bree and Robbie emerge from their makeout session and note the
demolition around them*
BREE: *pause* I think we missed something.
Fin
[Scene: the bench outside Widow's Vale High School. Morgan, Bree,
Robbie, Raven, Alisa, Jenna, Sharon, Ethan, and Killian are sitting
there. Hunter comes running up to them, out of breath.]
HUNTER: I – I – I ... *collapses on the ground, unconscious*
MORGAN: Uh ... Hunter?
KILLIAN: *relieved* Ah, finally! Thought that smarmy bloke would never
leave!
RAVEN: He just got here.
KILLIAN: So?
JENNA: What do you think he was trying to tell us?
ETHAN: Um ... I dunno.
ROBBIE: Maybe he wanted to propose to Morgan.
BREE: *shakes head in disgust* Robbie, you are so thick. *pause* I
mean that in the nicest way possible.
ROBBIE: I love you.
BREE: I love you, too.
*insert makeout session*
MORGAN: Okay, Robbie and Bree are out. We still have to figure out
what he wanted to tell us.
SHARON: We should try to wake him up.
KILLIAN: Do we have to?
MORGAN: *considers* Well, maybe not. He does look rather sexy when
he's sleeping.
ALISA: I think we should ask him what he wanted to tell us.
MORGAN: Ah, keep out of this, midget.
ALISA: *tearfully* Waaaah! *runs off crying*
*Hunter wakes up*
MORGAN: Hunter, are you okay?
HUNTER: I was faking it! *almost crying* None of you care about me!
MORGAN: Uh ... we were faking it, too.
HUNTER: *cheerfully* Oh, well, that's all fine and dandy, then.
JENNA: So what were you going to tell us?
HUNTER: Huh? Oh, yeah! *dramatically* There's a ghost on the loose!
*silence*
MATT: Huh?
MORGAN: Where?
RAVEN: There?
JENNA: No, over there.
HUNTER: *irritated* Shut up, you ponces! Monsters are on the loose at
Widow's Vale High School!
RAVEN: Of course there are. Have you met my calc teacher?
HUNTER: *points* Is that your calc teacher?
*he points to an evil demony thingie. In short, a swirling mass of
ghosty-ness*
RAVEN: They might be related. I can see the family resemblance. *comes
to her senses* Oh ... my ... goddess!
MORGAN: *gaping stupidly* What is that?
CAL'S VOICE: *eerily* Mooooorgan ...
MORGAN: I know that voice ... who was it ... I can't ... remember ...
CAL'S VOICE: IT'S CAL, YOU IDIOT!
MORGAN: *brightly* Oh, right, that's it! *does a double take*
CAL?!?!?!
HUNTER: *disgusted* Cal.
CAL'S VOICE: That's right, dear brother!
HUNTER: Technically, we're only half-brothers.
CAL'S VOICE: *irritated pause* So what? I'm going to destroy you and
your coven! Feel the wrath of the pissed off ghost!
MORGAN: You can't do this!
CAL'S VOICE: Oh, yeah? Says you! Watch and learn, meager mortals!
*the school building explodes*
RAVEN: Huh ... that's a new development.
ETHAN: Does this mean we get out of school early?
KILLIAN: Hey, something's coming towards us – aah!
*knocked unconscious by an unidentified flying object*
MORGAN: *disgusted* What is that?
RAVEN: It appears to be Alisa's disembodied arm.
JENNA: She must have been caught in the explosion.
RAVEN: Hey, you think my calc teacher was?
SHARON: Alisa's dead ...
*moment of silence*
MORGAN: Ah, well.
ETHAN: She was a little annoying.
CAL'S VOICE: HEY! STOP IGNORING ME! I'M AN EVIL DEMONIC GHOST, AND
YOU'RE ALL IGNORING ME!
MORGAN: *quickly* Sorry.
JENNA: Sorry.
SHARON: Sorry, Cal.
HUNTER: Don't apologize to him! He's an evil ghost, remember?
MORGAN: Don't insult Cal!
HUNTER: I thought you were over him!
MORGAN: *trapped* Uh ...
CAL'S VOICE: Aww, I knew you still loved me.
HUNTER: *now righteously pissed off* Okay! That's it! You're going
down!
CAL'S VOICE: We'll see about that.
*insert cheesy Matrix rip-off scene with cheesy battle music*
*Hunter lies on the ground, panting and bleeding. Cal is victorious*
HUNTER: *in a high-pitched girlie voice* You're ... so ... mean!
MORGAN: Are you okay, sweetie?
HUNTER/CAL'S VOICE: I'm fine.
HUNTER/CAL'S VOICE: *pause* She wasn't talking to you!
HUNTER/CAL'S VOICE: *another pause* Oh, yeah? Bring it on!
*insert Jackie Chan imitation. Needless to say, Hunter gets his ass
kicked*
MORGAN: *cries softly in the background*
*Killian sits up*
KILLIAN: CAN'T A MAN GET A DECENT SLEEP AROUND HERE??? YOU'RE ... ALL ...
PISSING ... ME ... OFF!!!
HUNTER: Bloody hell.
CAL'S VOICE: Uh-oh.
*Killian shoots witch fire. All are killed. Cal's ghost disappears.
Morgan is still alive*
MORGAN: *confused* Why didn't I die?
KILLIAN: *shrugs* The Bible says thou shalt respect thy family.
MORGAN: I thought you didn't believe in the Bible.
KILLIAN: I don't.
MORGAN: Okay.
*long pause*
*the ghosts of Raven, Hunter, Jenna, Ethan, and Sharon arise*
JENNA: Are we dead?
SHARON: I think so.
ETHAN: *pause* Cool.
JENNA: *sobs* I don't wanna be dead! I never got to make up with Matt!
RAVEN: I never got to make up with Sky!
SHARON: I never got to tell Ethan ... that I ... *sobs* loved him!
ETHAN: Thanks.
HUNTER: *sobbing* I miss Morgan! *sees her* Oh, never mind.
*Morgan and Killian watch them in stunned disbelief*
MORGAN: Are you guys ghosts?
SHARON: I think so.
MORGAN: *thinks, then considers* That's cool. Good for you. Blessed
be.
*the ghosts float off happily into the netherworld*
KILLIAN: *pause* So ... wanna go take over the world?
MORGAN: Sure. Let's go! Can we call Father first?
KILLIAN: Sure. *sending a witch message* Oh, Da ...
CIARAN: *teleports into the lawn and sees the destruction of the
school* Wow. I hope I won't have to separate you kids.
MORGAN: It wasn't us. Cal did it.
CIARAN: Oh. *pause* Wanna take over the world now?
MORGAN/KILLIAN: Sure!
*they all teleport out of the school*
*Bree and Robbie emerge from their makeout session and note the
demolition around them*
BREE: *pause* I think we missed something.
Fin