Title: Too Close For Comfort
Chapter 12: The Hooligan, The Baby, and The Princess
A/N: This is it, guys. It's over! I'm so excited. This chapter has been on three different computers, so far...and one floppy disk...and yet I still had to rewrite three times. But it's here, it's finished, and with it ends the story. I desperately love this story, and this chapter, and while it's currently un-betaed, I've been told that everyone's in character. So, here it is. There will be a sequel, but don't expect it anytime soon, because floppies screw up, did you know that?
I was sitting at the kitchen table early one morning a few days later, eating Lucky Charms and watching Jessica sleep. It seemed to have become my new pastime, watching her sleep. I took her on a walk and ended up on a bench, watching as she slept. I lost my own sleep sitting in bed, watching as she slept.
Mom kept trying to tell me that pretty soon she'd be screaming her head off all night, not sleeping, but she hadn't done it yet. For now, it seemed all Jessica did was sleep, which was fine with me.
"Hey," Mom said, walking into the kitchen.
"Hey," I said, quieter. "Shh, we've got two sleepers."
"Two? Oh, Jess." Mom poured the water into the coffee maker and scoffed. "Jess doesn't count, Rory."
"He does too," I protested. Jess had been sleeping on our couch since the night he'd come over for dinner, and Mom still hadn't warmed up to him. "Besides, he was up late last night. We both were."
"Just sitting on your bed watching Jessica sleep, huh?"
"Yep," I nodded, smiling. "It's very addictive."
Mom smiled too, and walked over and kissed me on the head. "I remember," she said, before heading back into the living room.
"Hey, where are you going?" I called.
"Nowhere. It's just a little wake-up service, stay where you are," Mom said, raising a hand to keep me seated.
I ignored her, made sure Jessica's car seat wouldn't move, and followed her to the edge of the living room.
Mom crept up behind Jess's head and whispered, in a sing-song voice, his name.
"Je-ess."
When he didn't respond, she got a little louder.
"Je-ess."
He mumbled, waved a hand in her direction and rolled over. I giggled, involuntarily. This looked like it was going to be fun. Mom looked back at me and grinned. "Watch this," she mouthed.
She leaned over his head, positioned her mouth directly over his ear, and yelled. "JESS!"
"Holy shit!" he exclaimed, trying to sit up straight and failing miserably. He was so tangled in his sheets that he rolled off the couch, hitting the coffee table on the way down. His sheets stayed on the couch, revealing that he was sleeping in only his boxers. Mom squealed.
"Holy crap, naked Jess!" she yelled, slapping her hands over her eyes and shaking her head.
"I'm not naked," Jess said indignantly, pushing his legs out of the bottoms of his sheets.
"My eyes! My eyes!" Mom yelled, channeling Phoebe from Friends.
"Lorelai, I hit the damn coffee table," Jess complained, examining the rapidly deepening purple bruise around the top of his boxers.
"My eyes! My eyes!" Mom repeated.
"Shut up, Phoebe," I commanded, walking past Mom to where Jess lay on the floor. "Are you okay?" I started to ask, when I heard a wail start to come from the kitchen.
"Go get her," Jess sighed. "Probably woke up from all the screaming," he said pointedly, looking at Mom.
"Is it safe to look yet?" she asked around her hands as I ran into the kitchen.
I scooped Jessica up from her car seat and cradled her to me. She was quiet almost immediately. The baby books said it was because by now she had acclimated herself to my scent, and my warmth reminded her of being inside the womb. I didn't really care. I just loved the feeling of my baby resting in my arms.
Jess ran into the kitchen, followed by a speeding pillow. When I looked at him quizzingly, he explained, "She wants me to get dressed. Now."
"Is it safe to come into the kitchen yet?" Mom called.
"No," Jess and I called back.
Mom sighed. "I'm going to Luke's, then."
"See you later," I called.
"I'm not bringing back coffee, either!"
"Good!"
Mom sighed, her last bargaining tactic ruined. I heard her grab her coat and stand near the door for a second, before finally opening it and leaving.
I looked at Jess and smiled.
"Got rid of her," he said, grinning.
"Here," I said, handing Jessica to him. He took her slowly and cautiously, keeping her head nestled in the crook of his arm. I took a moment to watch as he held her. It was only about the fifth time he'd held her, and he already had a way with her. He kept her tucked close to his chest and had a firm, gentle grasp on her. It seemed he was already protecting her from the world.
He glanced up and noticed me watching them. "What?" he asked.
"Nothing," I said. "You're just such a great dad."
"Is that why you handed me the baby?"
"No," I said, shaking my head. "I wanna make some coffee."
"Decaf," he commanded, watching as I filled the coffee pot with water.
"I know," I said defensively, pulling out the almost entirely full bag of decaf, along with a jar of Ovaltine. Jess snorted.
"You're still drinking that disgusting mixture?" he asked incredulously.
"Hey, it's even more disgusting with decaf, but this is the best way to dress up coffee without the key ingredient of caffeine."
"All right," he allowed, a small smile playing at the edge of his lips. I smiled back, and something passed between us. I wasn't sure, but it felt like we were definitely slipping back into our old relationship.
Jessica, apparently desperate for attention, let out a little cry and wriggled in Jess's arms. I walked over to her quickly and tried to take her back from Jess.
"Wait," he protested quietly. Jessica moved her arms around a little more and then became still, her wide eyes staring at Jess's head, and mine above his shoulder. "See?" he said, looking up at me.
"Amazing," I said quietly, watching as Jessica watched her father. Her gaze was very intent, as if she were studying his face, trying to remember it. I suddenly remembered that Jess's dad had left when he was a baby, and mine was never up for father of the year. A little worried, I glanced at Jess, and realized all my fears were unfounded. He was staring back at Jessica with a gaze almost as intent, although his gaze was also amazed. He seemed so enraptured by her I didn't think he would be leaving anytime soon.
The phone rang, faintly. Reluctantly, I tore myself away from my spot on Jess's shoulder. "I'll go get that," I said.
"'Kay," he said, preoccupied.
I smiled as I headed upstairs, where I was pretty sure Mom had left the phone. One unexpected night seemed to have yielded a perfect little family for me. I was on a natural high as I answered the phone.
"Hello?"
"Rory, hello."
"Grandma," I said, my natural high plummeting just a tad. "How are you?"
"I'm very well, Rory. Your grandfather and I visited you in the hospital a few times, but every time you were asleep."
"Oh, sorry. Mom got me up really early Christmas day, and then I was in labor all night, so I was just trying to catch up."
"That's quite all right, Rory. I'm just calling to invite you to dinner. The three of you, actually. Your grandfather and I would love to spend some time with our family's newest addition."
"Oh, of course, Grandma," I said, "but I don't understand. The three of us?"
"Yes. You, your daughter, and Lorelai."
"Oh." For one irrational moment there, I had thought she was inviting Jess. "When would you like us to come?"
"Tonight is New Year's Eve, is it not?"
"Yes, it is."
"Well, I expect you and your mother are going to protest if I invite you tonight, choosing instead to watch Dick Clark or some other silly show."
"That seems about right," I agreed.
"Then tomorrow night seems better suited, doesn't it?" Grandma asked matter-of-factly.
"Yes, it does," I agreed in the same tone of voice.
"It's settled. We'll see the three of you tomorrow."
"It's settled," I agreed.
"Goodbye, Rory."
"'Bye." I hung the phone up a little apprehensively. I felt a little bad. Jess had come back to Stars Hollow, a place he'd always hated, to spend time with Jessica. And me, I supposed. But now I was going to have to tell him that we were both going to Hartford, to spend time with a woman that had always hated him and a man that probably would, given the chance.
As I walked down the stairs and found Jess now sitting on the couch, talking softly to Jessica, I knew the conversation would have to wait. I stood on the landing and tried to be inconspicuous, listening in.
"So how long am I going to live on your couch?" Jess asked.
We were walking down Main Street towards Luke's, pushing Jessica's fancy car-seat-holder stroller in front of us. The visor on her car seat was up, and I'd bundled her up against the cold so well, that she just looked like a bundle of cloths in the dark.
I looked up at Jess, surprised by the bluntness and randomness of the question. "I don't know," I answered honestly. "How are we going to do this baby thing in six weeks, when I go back to school?"
"I don't know," he sighed. "But we need to figure this out."
"I know," I agreed. I spotted Taylor across the street, and he spotted us–unfortunately. "But could we do it later?"
Jess looked at me, and I just pointed. He followed my finger, and when he saw who it was, he groaned.
"Young lady, I am very disappointed in you!" Taylor exclaimed, walking up to us.
"Me? What'd I do, Taylor?" He, along with the rest of the town, had gotten over my pregnancy long ago.
"Your child," he started, "has the patience of your mother. And now, since your child just couldn't wait three more weeks, the entire Firelight Festival has to be pushed up to accommodate your impatient family." He finished with a sigh, as if it were all too much.
"Taylor, stop calling her my child," I said, imitating him. "Her name's Jessica."
"And that's another thing!" he started again. "You brought this hooligan back," he exclaimed, pointing at Jess, "and you even named your child after him!"
"Taylor!" a voice called from across the street. All three of us looked up and spotted Luke stalking over, an angry look on his face. "Get the hell away from them and mind your own business!"
"For your information, Luke, this is my business." And he was off. Again.
Jess and I watched as Luke and Taylor argued for a minute, and then I muttered, "Let's try to get out of here."
"Gladly," Jess muttered back.
As we tried to edge our way away from Taylor–with a baby stroller that didn't like edging–Taylor turned away from Luke and called after us. "Uh, excuse me, young lady!"
"Taylor, don't you dare," Luke threatened, his finger pointing in Taylor's face. I smiled at Luke as Jess and I made it to the steps outside the diner. I tried desperately to un-attach the car seat from the stroller, and finally Jess had to help hold the stroller down while I pulled.
"Thanks," I said, smiling.
"You go on in," he said, nodding towards the door. "I'll fold this up." He gestured to the stroller. I nodded, and carried Jessica into the diner.
Almost immediately, I was swallowed up in a crowd of ooh-ing and aw-ing. It took me a minute or two to fight my way out, but I finally made it to the table Mom was sitting at.
"Hey, babe," she greeted.
"Hey," I said, pulling over a chair from another table and settling Jessica's car seat into it. I plopped into my own seat and sighed.
"Tired?" Mom asked knowingly, taking a sip of her coffee.
"Yeah," I said. "I'm getting enough sleep, I'm just really tired a lot."
"Oh, Rory, honey," Babette, sitting at a table near us, started, "you need to go talk to a doctor. Fatigue after a baby could be a sign of trouble."
"Thanks, Babette," Mom said, smiling. "We'll keep that in mind."
"Okay, doll. You just remember to take good care of that little kid."
"We will," Mom said for me.
Babette, satisfied, turned back to her table.
"So, I saw you talking to Taylor out there. What did he have to say?"
"Oh, not much," I said, trying to steal Mom's coffee. "Just disappointed in the fact that my daughter's too impatient to be born on time, and also that I brought Jess the hooligan back. Just one sip," I pleaded.
"No caffeine," she declared, holding the cup as far away from me as she could.
I sighed and gave up. "You know, I don't really see Jess as a hooligan anymore."
"Did you ever?" Mom asked, raising her eyebrows.
"No, I guess not. But he had a job in New York, and he really wants to get to know Jessica."
"Speaking of the hooligan, where is he?" Mom asked. "Didn't he come with you?"
"Oh," I said, suddenly realizing he wasn't there. I looked behind me to the door, where Jess and Luke were struggling with the un-folded up stroller, trying to force it closed. I turned back to Mom. "Hey, can you watch the baby for me? I'll go help them."
"Oh, babe, you stay right there." Mom took a final sip of her coffee and slammed the mug on the table. "I will be right back." Mom smiled, smacked a kiss on my forehead, and left. I watched as she left, and then turned back to Jessica.
"Hey, sweetie." I smiled at her, and watched as she threw a hand in the air. "You're almost a week old. That's exciting, huh?" I chanced a glance behind me and reached across the table for Mom's cup. "Shh," I told Jessica, raising the cup to my lips. "Don't tell Grandma." I threw back my head, trying to get the last little bit of coffee.
"Rory?" someone asked, standing next to the table.
I immediately slammed the cup down and looked up. I had been expecting to find a stern older member of the town, chastising me for downing caffeine. Imagine my surprise when I found Lindsay Forrester standing next to me.
"Lindsay, hey," I said, smiling. I was so uncomfortable, but trying desperately to hide it. Lindsay, however, relaxed when she saw me smiling.
"Hi," she said, sliding into the chair next to me, across from Jessica. "How are you?" she asked, glancing quickly at the baby.
"I'm good," I said, nodding. "This is Jessica, by the way." I gestured to the car seat, where I could see Jessica had just nodded off.
"Oh, she's so cute!" Lindsay exclaimed. "You know, I really want a baby, but Dean said we need to wait until we get more settled. We're saving up for a townhouse," she finished, beaming proudly.
"Wow," I said, at a loss for words. My ex-boyfriend's wife was talking to me about babies and townhouses. Only in Stars Hollow.
"How are you doing this whole baby thing? I mean, aren't you still in college?"
"Yeah," I said, nodding. "But I have a guaranteed six weeks off. I've got a friend taking notes for me. And then when I start school..." I trailed off, and shrugged. "I'll be living at home, and Mom will help watch Jessica, along with Jess–"
"Jess?" Lindsay interrupted. "Is that your boyfriend?"
Whoa. A simple question, and yet so complex. I thought about it for a second. "He used to be my boyfriend," I started, slowly. "Remember that party at Kyle's house? Lane's band played?"
"Oh, that?" Lindsay asked, an almost disgusted look on her face. "God, that was so long ago. And really gross. Arielle Kebbel got completely drunk and threw up in the bushes when the cops came."
"Right. Well, Jess was my date to the party. Remember?"
"Oh, yeah! You mean him?" Lindsay asked, pointing towards the door. I turned to see Jess watching towards us, sans stroller, my mom, or Luke.
"Hey," he said, greeting me with a quick kiss on the lips. He trailed a hand across Jessica's forehead as he passed her and then sat in the remaining chair at the table.
"Hey," I repeated, smiling. I was so happy to see him. Maybe he'd be mean to Lindsay and she'd leave and this awkward conversation would be over. "Jess, you remember Lindsay," I said, gesturing toward the other girl.
He nodded. "Dean's girlfriend, right?"
She shook her head and grinned. "Wife," she proclaimed, holding out her left hand.
"Huh," Jess said, raising his eyebrows at me and then taking Lindsay's hand to look at her ring. "Very nice," he proclaimed, letting go quickly.
"Thanks," Lindsay said, almost giggling. "Well, I'm gonna go now." She stood up in one graceful move, and suddenly towered over the table again. "It was really nice talking to you again, Rory," she told me, smiling. "Nice to see you again, Jess."
"You, too," Jess said, a smile plastered on his face.
"See you!" Lindsay finally left, with a final wave at the door.
"Dean got married?" Jess asked incredulously.
"Yes," I said simply. "What'd you do with Mom and Luke and the stroller?"
"Oh, they're out there arguing," he said. "I stood there for two minutes just watching them fight and do nothing, and then I realized that I could be in here with you two. So here I am." He smiled at me, a genuine smile. I blushed and smiled back. After a beat, he shifted his gaze from mine and looked at Jessica. "Wow. She sleeps a lot," he said simply, and I could tell he was just as awkward as I was with this whole situation.
"Yeah. I guess that's what babies do."
"Not according to your mom," he said, looking back at me. "She keeps saying that Jessica's gonna start screaming through the night soon."
"Yeah." I kept staring at Jessica. "I don't know. She seems pretty low-key to me."
"I can just see her being a wonderful infant and then being the devil's favorite toddler."
I laughed and looked at Jess. "That's a horrible thing to say!" I exclaimed.
"I know," he said, smirking.
"Then again, she is your daughter. She just might be a devil child after all."
He laughed, and opened his mouth to say something. However, Mom chose that second to practically fall into the diner, pulling the un-folded up stroller behind her. "This thing's going back," she complained to the people sitting nearest the door. "Last time I ever buy anything at K-Mart."
Luke followed her, looking grumpy. "I still don't understand why we can't just leave the damn thing outside."
"Because," Mom said, turning around to face him, "it could rain and get ruined, or someone could steal it, or Taylor could be staring at the new benches in the square and not look where he's going and fall over it and sue you and then you'd have to stare at him through that window all day every day while he glared at you even worse than usual from his brand new electric wheelchair that you helped pay for since he tripped over the stroller on your property."
"Do you ever breathe?" Luke asked. "And why aren't you helping to pay for this lawsuit? It's your stroller he tripped over."
"Um, hello? 'Cause you made me leave it outside. And not only that, I'm a single mother, with a single mother-daughter, and a new baby. Who needs a new stroller, thanks to Taylor."
"And–" Luke tried to start, and then sighed. "I give up. I can't be drawn into your little world any more this morning. More coffee?"
"Always." Mom flashed him her best smile.
"Coming right up," he said, heading behind the counter.
"Hey, babe," Mom said, pulling the stroller along behind her. "Get out of my seat," she said to Jess. Jess obliged, sitting in Lindsay's recently vacated seat, next to me. Mom nodded and pulled the stroller behind her until it was sitting practically on top of the table.
"So, what do you guys want to eat? I'll go get it," Jess offered.
"Oh, are you working here for Luke again?" Mom asked.
He shook his head. "No, but this makes it easier for him. And it's not like Luke's changed anything since I left, right?"
"When does he ever change anything?" Mom asked, and then said, "Pancakes."
Jess looked at me, and I ordered French toast. "And bacon for the whole table."
"Coming right up," Jess said. He stood up, kissed me quickly on the lips, and left.
Mom looked at me. "Well, well. You two seem to be mighty friendly."
I blushed, and changed the subject. "So, guess what you and I get to do tomorrow night."
"Um, recover from tomorrow morning's hangover?"
"No. We get to take Jessica to Grandma and Grandpa's for dinner!" I plastered on a huge fake smile. "Won't that be fun?"
Mom sighed. "Do I have to?"
"Yes," I said, nodding. "Grandma invited the three of us."
Mom pouted. "I don't see why she invited me. Rory, tomorrow's Saturday!" Mom suddenly realized.
"I know," I said. I reached across the table and touched Mom's arm. "I'm so sorry," I said mock-sincerely.
"Coffee," Jess said, walking over with two pots and one cup. He set the cup in front of me and poured in some detestable decaf, and he re-filled Mom's caffeinated bliss. I looked at Mom and noticed the hint of something brewing in her mind.
"What about Jess?" she asked suddenly.
"What about him?" I asked uncomfortably, glancing up at Jess.
"Make him go," she said, a huge smile on her face.
"Make me go where?" Jess asked.
"Go pour coffee," Mom commanded, and then leaned towards me as he walked off. "Seriously. Make Jess go. He's sarcastic and hates my mother. Slap some fake boobs on him, she won't know the difference."
"No!" I exclaimed, trying desperately not to laugh. "She asked for you."
"Yeah, but she doesn't know Jess is here."
"She hates Jess," I reminded her.
"That's true," Mom conceded, "but she said she wanted to meet the baby's dad, right?"
"That was nine months ago, Mom." I knew that argument wasn't going to work. Mom knew it too, and rolled her eyes.
"Rory, if they wanted to meet him nine months ago, they'll want to meet him now. Seriously. Make him go!"
"Okay," I said finally, watching as Jess stood behind the counter with Luke. They were muttering to each other and watching our table. They were also both smiling. I'd never seen them look so happy.
Boy, it was gonna be fun breaking the news about dinner.
After giving Jessica a bath in the sink, I changed her into some nightclothes and laid her in her crib. She watched me from between the bars as I sat on my bed, waiting for her to sleep. After a second, she let out a whimper.
"Time for bed," I said softly.
She let out another whimper, and then started crying.
"Oh, baby," I said, standing up so I could reach a hand into the crib. "It's time to sleep now, okay?"
She just kept crying, getting steadily louder. I could practically hear Mom saying, "Told you so," in my ear.
"It's okay, baby," I said, rubbing Jessica's stomach. "Time to sleep now. Just close your eyes and go to sleep."
She threw her arms in the air, her hands balled into fists. She let out the loudest cry yet and kicked her feet. I just kept rubbing her stomach. She was fed, she'd been burped, she'd been bathed and changed, and so the last thing she could want is sleep. I'd read that sometimes babies cried because they were tired and just didn't want to go to sleep. Obviously, Jessica had inherited the Gilmore trait of late nights, and was just trying to stay up late on this, the latest of nights.
"Oh, Jessi, listen," I said, using the nickname for the first time, "I promise that when you get old enough, you can stay up until midnight and watch the ball drop. Until then, you need to sleep."
Jessica kicked her feet again and threw her hands in the air. She let out another loud cry, and then it turned into a yawn, she rubbed her hands on her cheeks, and then turned her head to the side and started to sleep.
I sighed, as quietly as possible, and tiptoed out of the room. I walked into the living room to find Jess sitting in the middle of the couch, the remote in his hand, looking bored. I sighed as I walked over to him, and he looked up at me and smiled.
"Hey. Tough night?"
"Sorta," I said, sitting next to him. "She just kinda suddenly started to sleep."
"Huh. Well, nothing to complain about."
"True," I nodded. I glanced at the TV and saw that Jess was watching Dick Clark. No wonder he was bored. I reached over and stole the remote from him. "So," I asked, starting to channel-surf, "where's Mom?"
"Oh, uh, she went to Luke's."
"Hmm," I nodded. She'd been at Luke's a lot lately. "Ooh, Corrina Corrina!" I exclaimed, stopping at TBS and throwing the remote down. "This must be their New Year's Eve movie marathon."
"Uh-huh," Jess said simply. I glanced at him quickly and smiled, before turning to the movie and watching.
When the first commercial came on, I decided to bite the bullet and tell Jess the wonderful news about dinner. I turned to him, only to realize that he'd been staring at me.
"What?" I asked, blushing.
"Nothing," he said, his little crooked smile on his face.
I decided to ignore him and plunge right in. "Hey, what are you doing tomorrow night?"
He looked a little surprised. "I don't know. I thought I was gonna hang out here with you guys."
"Nope," I said, shaking my head. "No, instead, you get to hang out with us...at my grandparents' house! For dinner!" I smiled a huge fake grin, and hoped he'd agree.
He looked a little conflicted, and then a little sick. "Really?" he asked. "Your grandmother doesn't mind me coming over?"
"Well," I said, avoiding his eyes. "She doesn't actually know you're coming."
"Rory, no," he said.
"Well, she wanted me and Mom and Jessi to come, but Mom doesn't wanna come, and they wanted to meet you anyway...although, they don't know it's you, but they do wanna meet you...and 'cause you're, you know, Jessi's dad now, they at least have to tolerate you, like they do my dad, 'cause you're her dad...but if you don't wanna go, you don't have to. I'll just tell them that Mom couldn't make it, and they don't even have to know about you." I sighed and threw myself against the back of the couch.
Jess was silent for a while. I looked up after a minute, afraid he was going to sprint out of the house as quickly as possible, but I could see a small smile glinting in his eyes.
"Jess?" I asked, ready for him to speak.
"I'd forgotten about your rambles," he said.
"Yeah, well, Gilmore trait," I said quickly, ready for an answer.
"Yes, I'll go. I mean, might as well get the worst over with, huh?"
I grinned and threw my arms around his neck. "Thanks so much!"
"No problem," he said as I disentangled myself. "But did you call Jessica Jessi?"
"Yeah," I said. "It's only like the second time I've used it. What do you think?"
"I think you shouldn't've named her after me."
"Well, it's too late now," I said, defensively, feeling a little pissed off that he was dissing my name choice. I mean, where had he been during the pregnancy?
"Hey, it's okay," he said. "I mean, it's a nice name."
"Yeah, okay," I said. "Let's just watch the movie, okay?" I tucked myself practically into the arm, wanting to not be around Jess right now. After a few minutes, Jess's hand suddenly reached out. At first I thought he was heading for the remote, and then he laced his fingers through mine. I looked at him, surprised. He smiled, which caused me to smile. Relaxing, I moved myself away from the arm, and started to tuck myself around him. He used his other arm to wrap around me, and we sat and watched Corrina Corrina.
"Wait, where are you going?" Jess asked, sounding a little worried.
I looked up from the road for half a second. "Don't worry," I said, a little confused. "We're just stopping by Wal-Mart. We need to get a few things."
"But, Rory, your grandmother won't be very happy if we're late."
"Oh, it's okay," I said. "We don't have to be there for an hour."
"An hour?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.
"Yes, an hour," I said. "We have a whole list. And it's Wal-Mart. It'll take an hour, believe me." I pulled into a parking space and turned the car off. "Can you get the baby?" I asked, glancing up at him quickly as I tried to gather my purse and the list and my various accouterments. Any kind of outing, whatsoever, now required bags and bags of equipment. Being a new mother was very...time-filling. And expensive.
"Can I stay in the car?" he asked.
"Jess! No!" I finally wrestled the baby bag from its spot wedged under a seat, and pushed open my door. "I'm not doing this by myself. Grab the baby. I'll get a cart." I left the car and only turned back once, to see Jess sighing deeply and forcing himself to get out of his seat. I shook my head. This was the first sign of resistance I'd seen from him. He had been nothing but supportive before this. When Jess walked up to me ten minutes later, though, he looked a little less like he was going through torture.
We settled Jessica and her car seat into the cart and walked into the store.
"Okay, that's the last thing," Jess said twenty minutes later, unceremoniously dropping two packs of diapers into the cart. "Can we leave now?" he asked, shoving his hands into his pockets and glancing around nervously.
"Sure," I said, starting to push the cart toward the check-out. "What's wrong with you, anyway?"
"I just hate Wal-Mart," he said quickly, still glancing around.
I shook my head and laughed. "You're very strange."
"I know," he muttered. "Let's just go, okay?"
"Rory!" Someone called my name from behind me. I glanced quickly at Jess, whose color had drained from his face at the idea of staying here longer, and then looked behind me.
"Iliana!" I yelled back, watching as she ran towards me.
"Hi!" she screamed, running into my arms and wrapping me in a huge hug. "Baby honey, you're looking thin!" she said, taking a step back and holding my arms out. "I didn't look this good a week after giving birth." Iliana directed her last sentence at Jess, and gave him a small wink. "How's the kid, sweetie?" she asked me.
"Oh, she's beautiful," I said, glancing at her.
"Sleeping?" Iliana asked, walking over to the cart.
"All the time," I said, smiling.
Iliana turned back to me, her hair swinging around her head and hitting her face. I finally noticed what looked different about her, and called her on it.
"You got highlights!" I exclaimed.
She grinned and reached a hand to touch her hair. "You like it? I adore it. Zano told me he wanted more of a punk family. It was his excuse for trying to get Miles's ear pierced. I was like, uh-uh, no. So I got my hair dyed last night." She picked up one pink strand and showed it to us. "I really love this look. I have since I was sixteen. I originally thought lime-green, but after looking at my wardrobe, it didn't really work." She grinned. "So I decided hot pink and dark black was better."
"Looks good," I said, smiling.
"Thanks, babe. Oh, I wanted to ask you. That big party thing is next Saturday?"
I nodded.
"Okay. Zahn said his band can play. I'm looking forward to it, hon." Iliana wrapped me in another hug, and then turned to Jess. I'd almost forgotten he was there.
"Oh, sorry," I said. "Iliana, this is–"
She held up a hand. "Jess, right?" she asked, reaching a hand to shake. "Nice to meet you. I better see you Saturday. And every other time I ever see these two girls."
He nodded. "You will. Nice to meet you, Iliana."
She grinned and wrapped him in a hug. "Perfect," she said, letting go. "Well, I'll see you guys later."
"Bye!" I called, waving as she walked off. I turned back to Jess and smiled. "Well. That was fun."
"Uh-huh," he said absentmindedly, staring over my shoulder at something. "Oh, shit," he said quietly, ducking down until he was shorter than I was.
"Jess. What?"
"Nothing. Don't worry. Let's just go." He turned around, still leaning down, and started pushing the cart away. I glanced over to where he'd been looking. All I saw was an older man in a Wal-Mart vest looking our way. He caught my eye, and smiled, and walked over.
"Jess!" he called as he got closer. "I thought that was you!"
Suddenly I realized. This must have been the Wal-Mart Jess had worked at. I grinned. Oh, this could be fun.
Jess, discovered, stood up slowly and turned around. "Dale," he said civilly, a stiff smile pasted on. "How are you?"
"I should be asking that of you!" Dale said, slapping Jess on the shoulder and reaching his other hand to shake Jess's. "Although, I see why you disappeared so quickly," he said, winking at me and smiling at Jessica. "Been pretty busy?"
"Yeah," Jess said, practically squirming. He was so uncomfortable, and I was so loving it.
"Thinkin' about coming back?" Dale asked. Jess's fake smile faltered, but remained. "Not really," he said.
"You should," Dale said. "Forklift hasn't been the same."
"Rory, we should really go now," Jess said desperately, looking at me.
"Yeah, you're right," I said. I smiled at Dale. "Nice to meet you."
"You too," Dale said, watching as we started to leave.
As Jess practically speed-walked to the front of the store, he leaned toward me and said, "Now you see why I didn't wanna come here."
"Aw," I said, trying desperately not to laugh. "I think it's cute. They miss you. And the–" at that point I burst into giggles, unable to stand it anymore–"forklift misses you too."
The door swung open and Grandma smiled as she saw me. "Hello, Rory," she said, and then she noticed Jess standing behind me and her smile dropped. "Where's your mother?" she asked, looking back at me.
"Oh, Mom?" I asked, glancing behind me where Jess was holding the empty car seat. "Um, she was busy. But she sent Jess in her place." I used my head to gesture at him, as my arms were full of Jessica.
"Oh. Well." Grandma forced a smile. "Come in." We followed her inside, and the maid took Jess's coat and tried to take the car seat, but Jess kept a stubborn grip on it. Grandma watched as they tugged back and forth on it, and finally yelled, "Oh, for heaven's sake! Give her the thing!" Jess finally let go, and the maid, satisfied, smiled as she set the car seat underneath the coat rack.
Trying to break the awkward silence that suddenly came over us, I said, "So, where's Grandpa?"
"He's in his study. He should be along soon. Rory, may I speak with you?" Grandma responded practically in one breath. She shot a glance at Jess and then added pointedly, "Privately?"
I handed Jessica to her father and directed him to the living room, and then followed Grandma into the dining room.
"Rory, what is he doing here?" she asked, dropping the words so sharply I felt as if they might cut me.
"He, Grandma," I said, feeling a little rude, "is here because he is the father, and you wanted to meet him."
Grandma hardly noticed that I was showing her exactly how rude she was, and instead focused on the content of what I'd said.
"He's the father?" she asked, surprised.
"Yes," I said. "You met him only a few weeks before I told you I was pregnant. I certainly didn't find anyone new in that time. God," I continued, even though part of me was telling me I shouldn't, "I didn't just jump into bed with the first guy I met, Grandma. I mean, I love Jess. And–"
"You love him?" Grandma interrupted.
"Yes," I said strongly. "I do. And he loves me."
Grandma scoffed. "What kind of man leaves the woman he loves while she's pregnant, and doesn't show up until after the birth?"
Oh, right. They never knew that he never knew. I sighed. "He didn't know, Grandma. I didn't tell him. Luke finally told him when I was in the hospital. That's why he's here now. He hates the fact that he wasn't there for me."
"Oh," Grandma said, softening a little. "Well, all right then. Perhaps he's not all bad."
"No, he's not," I said, smiling. "Shall we go back in?"
"All right," Grandma said.
When we entered the living room, I saw that Jessica had transferred arms, and Grandpa was now cooing into her face while Jess watched from an adjacent chair, a slight smirk on his face.
"Hey, Grandpa," I greeted him, walking over to give him a hug around the shoulders, so he could still hold on to Jessica.
"Hello, Rory," he said, happily. "Your daughter is extremely advanced. She's smiled at me once already," he informed me proudly. I smiled and glanced quickly at Jess, who shrugged and said, "I tried to tell him it was just gas."
"Oh, nonsense," Grandpa said. "This baby was born during her mother's first year at Yale. She got to hear all of the wonderful academic discussions her mother took part in while in the womb! She'll be talking before long."
"Richard, stop hogging the baby and hand her to me," Grandma commanded, holding out her arms.
"Emily, wait your turn. My great-granddaughter and I are bonding." Grandpa glanced up at me, and continued, "Do you think Jessica might enjoy a signed first-edition Hemingway?"
"I think her father might," Jess spoke up. I looked towards him and smiled. I loved hearing him say that word about himself. It made it all more real, and it made him seem like he was really going to stay.
Grandpa looked sharply at Jess. "Young man, you enjoy Hemingway's work?"
"Much more than Rory does," he responded, looking at me.
"Well." Grandpa handed Jessica to Grandma and stood up. "Follow me, then."
Jess hopped up, ready to please, and followed Grandpa out of the room. I watched them walk away for a second, and then sat on the couch next to Grandma, who was rocking Jessica softly in her arms.
"Oh," she murmured, watching as Jessica's eyelids got heavier. "It's been so long since I've held a baby." She looked up at me. "You were the last one. It was very rare I got to hold you, actually. Your mother was very protective. She let me hold you in the presence of others, when I'd told her not to make a scene. But when it was just us..." Grandma shook her head. "I was devastated when you left. I was so looking forward to when you were mobile, and able to allow me to hold you." Grandma smiled a sad smile, and handed the now sleeping Jessica back to me. "I never held Lorelai enough," she said as she watched us. "Hold her often, okay?"
I nodded, struck by how much Grandma had revealed to me. I held Jessica closer to my body and said, "Of course."
"Good," Grandma said, standing abruptly as Jess and Grandpa entered the room, obviously in the middle of a conversation.
"I feel like they're too sacred to write on."
"That's true, they are," Grandpa agreed. "But you can still read them."
"No," Jess shook his head. "I have to write notes when I read."
"You can write notes on a separate paper," Grandpa pointed out.
"It's better if you already have the material in front of you," Jess pointed out.
"True." Grandpa nodded, and then turned to us with a smile. "I like him," he said to me, pointing at Jess.
"Me, too." I exchanged a look with Jess, who looked satisfied with himself for getting through a conversation with one of my grandparents and not fighting.
"I'm going to check on dinner," Grandma said, walking quickly from the room. Jess sat next to me and softly touched Jessica's cheek with his forefinger. Grandpa looked at us and said, "Do you have living plans?"
"Um," I started, eloquently, and glanced at Jess. "Not really," I answered, turning back to Grandpa. "Right now Jess is living on our couch."
"Hmm." Grandpa looked sternly at us. "You can't raise a child sleeping on the couch."
"That's true," Jess agreed. "We're working on figuring something out."
Grandma reappeared at just that moment, saving us from any other questions, and announced that dinner was served.
I didn't realize it until later, but Grandma watched me all night. She watched my interaction with both Jess and Jessica. She noticed how I held Jessica with ease, smiled when I talked about her, and tried to keep my eyes on her as much as possible.
Grandma also noticed how I tensed when Jess got near me, forced smiled when I looked at him, and steered the conversation away from him.
Grandma noticed everything, and as we were leaving, Jess carrying Jessica in her car seat, Grandma grabbed my arm and steered me into another room again, this time the living room.
"Why did you wait so long to tell him?" she asked.
"What?" I asked, confused.
"Jess. Why did you wait so long to tell him you were pregnant?"
"I...I don't know," I said. "I thought it would ruin his life, I guess, and I didn't want to do that."
"Really?" Grandma asked. "Are you sure it's not because you weren't sure whether you wanted him to be involved? Are you sure it's not because you weren't sure if you wanted to see him ever again? Are you sure it's not because you don't love him?"
I stared at her, shocked. "I…Yes, I am sure!" I yelled. "I didn't tell him because he was so much better than this! He was–is–so much better than my dad! He deserves a better life!"
Grandma just stared at me. "Okay," she said quietly. "We'll be out of town for two weeks. We'll see you when we return." She turned and stalked out of the room, leaving me standing there, alone.
I made Jess drive home, and I sat in the backseat, one finger wrapped in Jessica's hand.
Was Grandma right?
I was thinking back over the night, realizing I'd sat as far away from Jess as I could, I'd avoided his eye contact. I'd tensed when he'd walked over to take Jessi.
Why?
I did love him. I knew I did. I felt the same way I had for two years.
And then it hit me.
I was acting just like I had that first year. I was acting like I couldn't love him, like it was wrong. I was acting like I had when I'd dated Dean.
But I wasn't dating anyone. I hadn't dated anyone since Jess. I'd just had his baby for Christ's sake!
And then I gasped.
"What is it?" Jess asked, glancing at me in the rearview mirror.
"Nothing," I said quickly.
But it wasn't nothing.
I was subconsciously punishing myself. I was punishing myself for feeling I didn't think I should have, even if I did love Jess. And it was ruining our relationship, or what our relationship could be.
When we got to the house, I ran inside with Jessica as quickly as I could, leaving Jess outside. I found Mom sitting on the couch and I put Jessica in her car seat on the coffee table.
"Can you take her somewhere? Please?" I asked, feeling desperate.
"Sure, honey," she said, standing up quickly and picking Jessica up. "We'll go visit Sookie and Davey." As she passed me, she stopped, and whispered, "How long?"
I shrugged. "An hour? Maybe two."
"Okay," she checked her watch. "We'll be back at 11:30. That gives you an hour and a half." She smiled at me, and waved as she passed Jess in the entranceway.
He watched as she grabbed a coat and left, and then turned to me. "Where's she going?"
"To see Sookie," I said. "Mom said we needed a break."
"I could have taken her," he said.
"That's okay," I said. "Sookie's been dying to see her. And Mom's been dying to see Davey. So…."
"Okay." He nodded. "Um," he said after a minute, "I'm going to take a shower."
"Okay."
He nodded again, and then took his jacket off. As I sat on the couch, my own coat still on, he walked past me and picked up the bag he was living out of. "Just getting clothes," he said, holding them so I could see.
"Okay," I said again.
He turned around and headed upstairs.
As I sat on the couch, getting steadily warmer in my winter coat, a plan formulated in my mind. Almost entirely sure I was completely insane, I stood up and quickly shed m y coat and shoes. I heard the shower running upstairs, and that's where I ran.
Jess left the door half-open when he showered, letting the steam out, so it was easy enough to edge my way in. Once in, however, I had to try desperately to stay there. I stood there, one foot trying to go forward and one staying planted, and had a vigorous internal debate. Even Paris would be proud of my impressive WPM. I suddenly and quickly undressed, one step closer to completing the plan.
I watched the unmoving dark red shower curtain, mentally going over the reasons I didn't want to do this. For instance, I hated my post-baby body, with angry red stretch marks snaking across my abdomen and new, larger breasts. I was also at least two sizes larger, and it bothered me, especially considering what I was about to do.
"People try to put d-d-down," I heard Jess singing.
I had to keep from laughing.
"Just because we get around."
And yet...it was a new quirk I was learning about. Jess sang in the shower.
"Things they do look awful c-c-cold."
That was it. I steeled my nerves, pushed aside the shower curtain, and stepped in.
I hope I die before I get old.
When Mom came back with Jessica, I was lying on my bed, trying to figure out a schedule for my new life, and Jess was on the couch, reading Please Kill Me for what had to be the twentieth time.
There was absolutely no sign that our relationship had changed.
But the next morning, and the next few mornings, it became apparent to everyone that we were closer than ever. We were acting just like we had in high school, during those few precious weeks we were really happy: we were making out in the street, walking with our arms entangled in each other, and sitting on benches and reading each other's books. The difference of course, was that we had a baby with us almost everywhere we went.
It was practically heaven.
Wednesday night, the fourth night of our new relationship, I was lying on my bed, watching as Jessica sighed and moved her arm. I heard my door inch open, and looked up to see Jess standing there.
"Hey," I said, smiling. "Come on over."
He lay down next to me, wrapping one arm over me.
"She looks so peaceful," he said after a minute.
"Yeah," I agreed. "Amazing that she has us as parents."
I felt Jess's arms tighten around me, and he pressed his lips into my neck for a minute.
"I went to see my dad," he said. "He showed up at the diner—you saw him, he was there the day after the party."
"Oh," I said, feeling a tightness in my chest. That had been a bad day, the day of our fight.
"I didn't know who he was," he continued. "But he left his wallet, and Luke found it, and went to talk to him. I don't know what Luke said, but Jimmy showed up at the diner later that night. He told me who he was, I offered him old coffee, and then we kinda sat in the dark for a while. I was listening to Ziggy Stardust, and we mouthed along to the end of Suffragette City, and then he must have freaked and left. And then," he sighed, "Luke and I got in a fight."
I found Jess's hand with my own and squeezed it.
"It was bad, Rory. We both yelled things we regret, I know. He yelled at me for failing school and dropping out, and then he kicked me out." Jess was silent for a minute. "I still feel like shit for disappointing him," he said softly.
I didn't know what to do, so I just sat there, letting Jess collect his thoughts. After a minute, he let out a shaky breath and continued.
"The next day you saw me on the bus. The next thing I knew, I was in California."
"How'd that go?" I asked, trying desperately to get him to feel better.
"Okay," he said, slowly. "My dad reads and listens to music just like I do. It's amazing how much we have in common."
"How long were you there?"
"A while. I called you on graduation from California. You were halfway through Europe before I left."
I waited until I knew he was finished, and then asked, "Did I ever tell you how I found out I was pregnant?"
"No."
"Well, I was right in the middle of exams, and so I was extremely exhausted. I was at Grandma's house—just leaving, actually—and Mom was complaining and pacing in the driveway, and then everything went sideways and then black and I guess I fainted."
Jess let out a soft sigh onto my neck and rubbed my arm.
"The doctor told me I fainted from dehydration and lack of folic acid. He berated me and told me I was pregnant. My dad showed up, too, when I was in the hospital, and he stayed, and even went with Mom and me to Europe.
"Really?" Jess asked. "Where is he now?"
I sighed, and let myself really sink into Jess's embrace. "He cheated on Sherry, his new wife. And then he showed up here. Sherry called Mom, Mom freaked out, and he hasn't come back. Actually, I talked to him when Jessica was born. I basically told him not to come, and…he didn't."
"Huh. Sorry, kid," he said, talking to Jessica. "Looks like you've got 2 non-existent grandfathers."
An expression crossed Jessi's sleeping face, like she was troubled. But then she sighed, and was peaceful again.
"Promise me you'll never be non-existent," I whispered to Jess, clutching his hand to my stomach and keeping my eyes clasped shut.
He sat up a little, and forced me to roll on my back so that when I opened my eyes, I was looking right at him.
"I promise," he said slowly and clearly, "that I will always, always, be here for you. For both of you."
I smiled, tears involuntarily springing to my eyes. He smiled back and caressed my cheek with one hand, before leaning down and kissing me.
Suddenly, it was Saturday again, and our house was in a frenzy. Jess and I had gone shopping for baby dress-up clothes the day before, and they were spread out all over my bed, ready for us to struggle to fit the baby in them, and then throw them on the ground and declare she had no clothes.
Jess was holding her, pacing back and forth in front of my bed, and bouncing her, hoping to keep her satisfied, because after only three outfits, she was already fed up with clothes. Jess, who hated to hear her cry, was practically ready to let her go naked, dressed only in the latest fashionable Huggies, but I pointed out to him that she'd still be crying then, but only because she'd be freezing to death.
He sighed. "Fine. But can you try to be a little gentler with her?"
I was getting fed up as well, but instead of having too many clothes, I had too little. Jess just kept getting on my nerves, so I threw down my latest choice for a baby outfit and said, "Fine. You do it," and left.
When I wandered upstairs, Mom was dancing around to the Go-Gos' "Head Over Heels", half-naked, apparently having trouble with her own wardrobe.
"Hey, babe," she said during the instrumental break, trying to match the claps and failing miserably. "Damn! I still can't get it." She finally gave up, and smiled at me. "What's going on?"
"I can't find clothes," I said, flopping onto her bed, and watching as she dove into her closet and returned fully and impeccably dressed, managing to make a sweater-vest look cute, no less.
"Oh, babe. I fully understand," she nodded, sitting next to me to put on shoes. "You're in that horribly awkward phase where nothing fits." She shrugged. "It happens."
"Yeah?" I asked, sitting up as she stood from the bed. "What'd you do?"
"I joined a gym," she said, matter-of-factly.
I snorted. "And did you go?"
She echoed my laugh. "Oh, no, I was way too fat." She smiled, and kissed my forehead quickly. "Gotta go," she said, grabbing her coat from the bed behind me and walking out of the room. I stood and followed her.
"Where?" I asked, as she made a quick detour to the bathroom to check her make-up.
"Firelight festival business, babe. Secret stuff." She winked at me in the mirror, and then headed for the stairs. When I started to follow her, she turned around and said, "Secret to you, Rory. You, the hooligan, and the baby are supposed to stay here 'til five. We'll pick you up, I promise."
I sighed, but stopped following her. She grinned and flew down the stairs and out the door. Still mad at Jess, I made my way back into her room, where I collapsed on the bed again, amidst piles of clothing—none of which I could fit in.
I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew, Jess was whispering my name. He was carrying Jessica, and because he was leaning over me, she reached out and grabbed a handful of my hair, really waking me up.
"I'm up," I yelled, sitting up suddenly, and hitting Jess's forehead with my own.
"Ow," he said softly, looking as if he wanted to touch it but couldn't because he was holding Jessica. I reached my own hand up to my head and touched it gingerly, and then dropped it.
"What do you want?" I asked Jess, still annoyed with him—even though I didn't remember why anymore.
"I dressed Jessi," he said, angling her so I could see. She was in the prettiest outfit, in my opinion, and her own inherent cuteness just multiplied the outfit's adorability.
"Aw," I said, reaching to trace the lace around the hem of the dress. I looked up at Jess and smiled. "You knew she'd break me, didn't you?"
He grinned, and sat next to me. "I was counting on it," he admitted.
"Well, it worked." I stood, and reached down to get Jessi. "Now it's time for Mommy and Daddy to get dressed."
Jess handed the baby to me, and then stood up next to us. "So weird," he muttered.
"I know," I said, knowing that he was referring to our new titles. "But it's true."
"Yep." Jess must have realized he looked worried, because he looked at me and smiled. "Wouldn't trade it for the world."
I knew he didn't believe that. Yet. I knew he was still trying to make up for running away and leaving me pregnant, albeit unknowingly.
But I appreciated his trying, and so I kissed him.
Mom picked us up, right at five, with a horse-drawn carriage in front of the house. I smiled, remembering the last—and only—time I'd ridden in a horse-drawn carriage, with Jess. He helped situate Jessi and me in the seat, before hopping in with us. We slowly drove through town, and finally pulled up next to the gazebo, where two thrones, a baby bed on a pedestal, and an unbelievable amount of presents awaited us. I know I was looking at everything with a shocked expression on my face, because Mom snapped tons of pictures.
Luke took the baby from me, and settled her gently in the bed, before Jess took my hand and we sat on our thrones. Mom draped a feather boa around Jess's neck, and gave me my "Happy Birthday!" tiara, "because Jessica can't wear it yet," she said. I felt like a princess…and later, Mom told me that's what I was supposed to feel like, a princess, because according to the town, I am one.
The rest of the town was fairly normal according to Firelight Festival standards: there were large papier-mâché stars everywhere, an un-lit bonfire in the middle of the square, and plenty of tables boasting Founder's Day Punch. I looked at Jess, who just shook his head and mouthed at me, "Insane town rituals."
I laughed, and watched the first band finishing setting up on the stage directly across from the gazebo. It was Lane's band, The Whoevers, with their newly reinstated fourth member, Dave. They performed a not-very-diverse selection, taking most of their songs from punk bands of the same caliber as The Clash and The Sex Pistols. When Taylor complained, they abruptly left the stage, and Iliana's husband's band came on. At first they started playing something that sounded vaguely 50s, and Zano, Iliana's husband, was the star of the song with his bass. But then it ended up being a Clash song—"Julie's Been Working For The Drug Squad"—and Taylor started complaining again, much to the delight of Jess and Luke, who were laughing the entire time.
Then the band started playing a Billy Joel song—"It's Still Rock and Roll to Me"—and Jess shut up, fast. He hates Billy Joel.
I started unwrapping presents, and talking to Lane and Dave, who'd come over as soon as The Whoevers had vacated the stage. Lane had an opinion on every present, and knew who had sent each one. Eventually, Zano's band took a break, too, and Iliana, who had been the faithful rock star wife, trying to mosh at the bottom of the stage, joined us, dragging along Miles and Zano.
Kirk, who was playing DJ for the night, started to play "Thank Heaven for Little Girls" from the movie Gigi. Mom rushed over and started laughingly reminding me of when I debuted, two years before, and told me that song was playing while I fan-danced. She tried to explain to the small crowd gathered around my throne about fan-dancing and debuting, but she was laughing too hard, so she rushed off again, where I saw her accept another cup of Founder's Day Punch from Luke.
"Too much punch," I explained to my friends. "That stuff's deadly."
Lane and Dave nodded knowingly, Zano and Iliana exchanged glances, and Jess just raised his eyebrows at me, which clearly said, "You are so telling me about fan-dancing when we get home."
Home. We were currently, well, we were sort of living in the same house. It seemed more like Jess was a guest, though. I knew Jess was always welcome in Luke's apartment, and even had his own bed still. I wondered if maybe Jess could move back in with Luke when I went back to school, and I could stay with Mom. We could, I suppose, switch Jessi back and forth…. Such as, when I had an early class the next day, Jess could take her for the night. And he could work, to save up for an apartment for both of us, and I could go to school, to further my education, and Jessica could stay with both of her parents, and be well-adjusted. Except for the fact that her parents wouldn't live together. At least for a while. But hopefully we could move in together by the time she got old enough to know.
Yes, that's what we would do.
"Um, earth to Rory!" Iliana called, waving a hand in front of my face. I snapped to.
"Oh, sorry," I said, picking up my next present.
"That's from Andrew," Lane told me, as I started to unwrap it.
"So, what were you thinking about?" Iliana asked me, folding her arms across her chest and grinning at me.
"Oh, nothing," I said, with a quick glance at Jess, who was leaning towards me, his arms on his knees as he watched me open presents.
Iliana watched this, and her grin grew even wider. "Oh, nothing," she repeated suggestively, nudging Zano, who was closest to her, in the ribs.
"Quit nudging me, Il, I saw the look," Zano complained, the first time I'd ever heard him speak. I watched as he picked up Miles and angled him so he was between his parents. Iliana just kept grinning. She squeezed up close to me, grabbed me by the shoulders, and leaned over and whispered, "You so love him, don't you?"
I nodded as she pulled away, and she squealed. "Perfect!" she exclaimed, looking between me and Jess quickly, before finally settling her gaze on Jessica. "Miles, come look at the baby," she said, gesturing behind her at her husband, who obediently carried their son over to look at Jessi. Lane and Dave squeezed in, too, and pretty soon they were all cooing over her.
Jess stood up, walked around the group, and held a hand out to me. "Let's dance," he said simply, surprising me to no end.
"Okay," I said, taking his hand and allowing him to lead me to the makeshift dance floor in front of the stage. Kirk was off to the side of the floor, currently playing John Mayer's "Daughters". Jess took me in his arms, and we slowly swayed to the music.
"This is nice," I said quietly, my head on his shoulder.
"Mm-hmm," he agreed. "We should do this more often."
"I suppose," I said softly. "Maybe without the Firelight Festival."
"Or the entire town."
"Or music," I said. "Just being together is enough for me."
Jess leaned back a little, so he could look at me, and then shook his head and kissed me softly on the lips. "You don't have to lie."
"I'm not!" I protested, even as I realized I was, a little.
"You so are, even if you don't know it." He smirked. "Rory, you're the kind of girl who wants to be swept off her feet. Romantic dinners, slow dances in the living room, flowers and candy galore, maybe even a serenade or two. I know you. I know the way you think. I've seen you watch movies, read books, and I know what you're wishing. You're wishing for a Prince Charming of your own."
"No, I'm not," I protested, a little more weakly this time, and blushed, ducking my head into his shoulder.
"Yes, you are!" Jess slightly chuckled, and then sighed and stopped dancing. "Listen, Rory, I'm really sorry I wasn't here. But I promise to be here, forever, for as long as you want me. I will not run away in a year, five years, eighteen. I will not decide one day that you will be fine without me and take off. And I will certainly not do what I did last year and just leave one day, hoping you're not on the bus. I'm taking responsibility for what I've done, and I'm letting you know that I love you too much to go away again. I never should have done it in the first place." Jess picked up my hands and started dancing again. "Capisce?"
I was shocked—in a good way—for what had to be the thousandth time since Jess had suddenly shown up in my hospital room. I knew I had tears in my eyes, but all I could do was lean my head on his shoulder and keep swaying.
"Yeah," I answered softly. "Capisce."
"Good," he said, with a soft smile in his voice. "Daughters" came to an end, and "Pink" by Aerosmith started playing. Mom suddenly came flying onto the dance floor, and didn't stop until she was on the stage, next to the microphone.
"Oh, no," I said, knowing that Mom had way too much Founder's Day Punch in her for this to end well.
"Okay, listen up people!" she screamed into the microphone, holding her arms above her head, one holding a cup of punch. "This guy," she continued, pointing directly at Kirk, "has been DJ for too long, and now he's playing Aerosmith? What? This is my granddaughter's—" she suddenly clutched her heart. "Oy. I just said granddaughter." She laughed. "I'm a grandmother! Ha! But anyway," she said, getting 'serious' again, "this is my granddaughter's belated-birthday-welcome-to-the-world party, and I will be having absolutely no Aerosmith. So, bands, get your asses on stage!" She started to exit, but then decided to add, "Thank you very much," in her best Andy Kaufman impression.
I just looked at Jess and laughed, before saying "Come on," and leading him back to our thrones, holding his hand the entire time.
We didn't make it home until two in the morning, at which point I sent Mom to her room to sleep it off and took Jess with me into my room. For the first time, ever, we slept together, the whole night through, with our daughter in her crib next to us.
I still wasn't sure where we would live, if we would live together or not, whether we would get married, and how well-adjusted our daughter could grow up to be, being our daughter.
But I was happy. Jess was here to stay. And, as Scarlett O'Hara says, "Tomorrow is another day."