Eye of the Beholder

By Cassandra E

Disclaimer: Not mine. Never were, never will be. Firefly and characters don't belong to me. Although this story and any new characters are mine, mine. No profit is being made what so ever, if there was, which there isn't…well, then that's whole different story. 

Rating: PG-13 to R- Domestic Abuse, at least in the first chapters.

A/Notes: I started this story prematurely, since my mind was still on Death Was a Pretty Girl. I had decided to write Eye of the Beholder afterwards, but I went forward with prologue. Since in DWAPG, I messed up Inara's age, I fixed it, so it could concur with her age when the war started to when she meet Mal. It makes sense that she would be very young. Companions are equivalent to Courtesans, who started very young before they got too old. I am using the Firefly timeline as my I been told it's not canon, but then again neither is this story. As the story progresses, I explain what changes took place to what didn't.  Feedback most welcomed!

Summary: Alternate Universe/History: Instead of becoming a Companion, Inara was sold into slavery by her own mother. Heavily abused and mistreated by her wealthy slave owner, Joseph Harrows, she kills him in self-defense. Now on the run from his family and the Alliance, she finds Serenity…and a certain Captain.

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Prologue: Happily Ever After

All that glitters….

Sihnon

Her mother was beautiful…

But she was a whore.

Of course, Inara as a child never knew that. But what she did know was that her mother was beautiful. Olive skinned with long gloaming hair, honey brown bedroom eyes and full sensual lips, Yadhira Serra was a striking woman.

And Inara wanted to be just like her.

When she was a little girl, Inara would spend hours at her mother's vanity. She would gently run her hands on the perfume bottles and silver rimmed brushes with such yearning that her Nana would scold her something fierce.

Back then Inara didn't understand her Nana's dislike of her mother or better yet, of her mother's friends. Inara would always assume that because her mother was beautiful, she had many friends. Of course, that most of those so called friends were men…well, Inara didn't notice. She didn't understand that her Nana worried for her. Worried that she would end up like her mother.

And oh, how Inara wanted to be like her.

Grace and elegance, Yadhira Serra seemed to float rather than walk. When she spoke she had such a sweet voice that men would fall in love with her at that very moment. They were like slaves fallen under a siren's spell.

But Inara had other dreams as well. At bedtime, her Nana would put Inara to bed. She would tenderly brush her hair, a hundred strokes each time so that her hair would shine, like her mother's. And then she would tell Inara stories of far away places, where the princess fell in love with a prince. And they would live happily ever after. Because how else could it be?

Inara wanted that also, maybe more so than being like her mother. When her tutor would come for the day's lesson, Inara would spend half the time dreaming of her prince charming. She decided, very seriously, that her prince would be handsome and brave, like her mother's friends. When Inara would say this to Nana, the old woman would scold her once more and tug her ear painfully.

"Never like them, you hear young lady? Never like them! Best wish for someone kind and ugly as sin, than for some dandy that don't respect you. Better yet, best be thinkin' on your studies, they are worth more than princes and the like! Foolish girl! Keep thinkin' like that and you will be ending up like your mother."

She said that like it was a bad thing and Inara couldn't, or wouldn't understand…until the day her Nana passed away.

That morning Inara woke up, yawning with the sun glaring through the cracks of the curtains. By this time, Nana would have stormed into her room, hollering to get her lazy self up from bed; she would then proceed to yank the curtains wide open, waking Inara from sleep. Inara would complain and whine, like most children, but today was different.

The morning sun still peaked through the curtains and all was silent. Inara suddenly sat up, ears straining for any sign of her Nana. When not a sound was muttered, Inara slipped out bed, her white cotton night gown hitting her skinny knees. She called out, "Nana? Nana?"

When no one answered back, Inara continued to walk over to her Nana's room. The room connected to Inara's for easier access. Her bare feet sunk into the rich plush carpet as she knocked on the door. Again, silence was Inara's answer. Inara frowned in worry, she opened the door slowly. "Nana? It's Inara…I am coming in."

When she entered the room everything was dark, the velvet curtains were shut tight. Inara saw a figure lying on the bed, unmoving. "Nana, its time wake up! I caught you…you're still sleeping." Inara said with exuberance.

She pulled the curtains open, the light beamed throughout the room, but her Nana still didn't wake up. Inara frowned again, biting her lower lip. "Nana? Wake up…"

She slowly made her way to the bed and gently shook her. "Nana, Nana, come on! You have to help get ready…and make me breakfast. Today's special!"

But Nana didn't wake up, her eyes were closed, her face peaceful. Long gray hair was tied in a braid, which fell upon her shoulder. "Nana! Wake up! Why don't you wake up?" Inara shouted more forcefully. She took hold of her hand…it was cold, so very cold.

"Nana?" Inara whimpered as her mind grew aware of what had happened. She laid her head on Nana's chest, no heart beat, and then she knew her Nana was dead. And so, like any child who lost a parent, she cried until she couldn't any more. Not realizing that she would be mourning more than her Nana, Inara would mourn so much more later on. She would remember that day in the following years and even then it didn't seem fair that she should have lost someone who meant so much to her on her birthday. She was only… seven, it just wasn't fair

                                                                                  ****

 Four years passed, the War to Unite the Planets had begun in the year 2505. Inara was now eleven years old, so it was of little consequence to her. Her mind was occupied with matters close to home; the war had yet to affect Sihnon greatly. Inara always figured her mother loved her. After Nana had died, Inara grew aware that wasn't the case. When she went to inform her mother that Nana had passed away, her mother had laughed.

"Thank Yesu, one less mouth to feed and no more damn sermons."

At that moment, Inara saw that her mother wasn't as beautiful as she had believed. She was growing older with slight wrinkles near her eyes and slightly graying hair. And the look in her eyes, they weren't beautiful. The coldness and bitterness the emanated from Yadhira's honey golden eyes was nothing lovely. She casually dismissed her daughter and began applying her make-up.

When Inara was thirteen, the arguments between mother and daughter grew worse. It began with little things, such as why Inara bothered with her studies since she had no need for them any longer. She had to start applying herself to womanly chores, since the maid was fired…due to lack of funds.

Inara had always known they weren't rich, although they were well off enough to afford pretty possessions and clothes. She always figured that her father had left them money. But that was before she found out how mother really made due.

Inara had grown bored with her chores one day. As she finished dusting the parlor room, she heard heavy moaning coming from her mother's room. Frowning, she bit her lip, a habit Inara had when she became nervous. Silently she made her way to the room; the door was slightly opened and what she saw made her cringe in horror.

Yadhira was in bed, naked, her legs wrapped around a man's waist. Clothes were strewn over the side of the bed. The man was thrusting into her and panting, he groaned as her mother tightened her hold on him. Inara quickly looked away, her hands covering her mouth. She ran to her room, locking the door, and cried.

Her mother was a whore.

It made sense now, the late night visits and the many male friends. Inara slammed her hands against the floor, tears running down her face. She had been so stupid at not seeing what was in front of her. And now she understood what Nana had always said.

"Never value material things, Inara…they never last. Value the things that stay with you. Remember that. Your mother never did learn. Always looking upwards, never reaching…that's why…" Nana had always stopped on the last sentence, her voice deciding that it wasn't best to say more. "But she's your mother…Inara…remember that."

Inara was angry, she had been a foolish girl indeed. But she vowed that day she would never…never…be like her mother. She would rather be dead…she wouldn't be used. Nana always said she was worth more than all the treasures of the world.

                                                                                  ****

 The arguments grew worse the following year. Inara would retreat into a world of books, ignoring her mother's complaints and yells. When Inara answered back, her words cutting deep, Yadhira would slap her. One such day they had both sat down for tea. As Inara carefully poured the tea into the china cups, her hands trembling slightly, not wanting to spill any for mother would be in a temper if she did. Yadhira took the time to study her daughter, her now beautiful daughter. Inara had grown into her body quickly, curving in all the right places. Her raven black hair that had once hung limply now curled in waves. Her daughter was beautiful…and Yadhira didn't like it. But she saw a possibility forming.

"Inara, I was thinking maybe it's time to take you to The Guild Academy. Start your training as a Companion."

Inara's hand wavered, spilling the tea on white satin table cloth. Eyes flashing in anger, "Why would I do that? Furthermore, why would I want that, mother?" The last was said in a biting tone.

Yadhira pretty face creased, not so pretty any more. "A Companion is revered Inara, any girl would be grateful for the chance. Some are even on waiting lists. You should be lucky to get in, they usually take the girls in younger."

"A Companion is a whore…dressed in pretty clothes. I will not be a whore of any kind, mother." Inara answered back harshly. "I don't find it appealing to make my living by lying on my back and opening my legs to some hundan pig."

The slap came quickly, knocking Inara on the floor. The tea kettle tipped over burning her hand. Inara cried out, hand touching her face as she looked up at her mother. Yadhira was in a fury, eyes blazing in rage, make-up caking where she still tried to hide the aging. "You ungrateful brat, do you think I like it? Think you're so smart with your lessons and damn books. Think you're better than me! Well, you're not, missy. You're nothing of the kind. If it weren't you…I wouldn't be stuck in this lese house. I could've been so much more, but no."

Inara shook her head. "No, mother I didn't mean…"

"Bi zui!  You will do as I tell you. And if I say you'll be a Companion and the Academy will accept you…then a Companion you will be."

Yadhira gave one disgusted glance at her daughter and left the room. Inara's sobs became silent as felt she the invisible bands of her cage becoming more solid. And she desperately wanted to get out before it was too late.

                                                                              ****

  As the days went by, Inara did her best to avoid her mother. To the best of her knowledge, her mother had yet to contact The Guild Academy for registration. One night, Inara had left her book in the parlor. As she went to fetch it she ran into one of mother's clients. The man was dressed in an Alliance uniform, his boots waxed to a shine. The war still raged after two years and Sihnon had been affected economically; the rich market imports of little value now. Inara had seen mothers wailing when news of a fallen son or husband was posted up in the town square. Her problems with her mother seemed insignificant, when faced with so much grief.  The man smiled as he saw Inara, a dark look came over his eyes that made Inara shiver involuntarily. Out of habit she bit her lip and saw the man's smile widen.

"And who are you? Pretty thing."

Inara shook her head, forgetting the book she rushed back to her room. The man's laughter followed Inara into her sleep. Along the past two years, Inara had became more and more aware of the looks she received from her mother's clients. She hated them because they made her feel dirty. And they always laughed when she ran away. Yadhira would laugh along with them, if she was present. But lately her mother wasn't laughing anymore. And it made Inara ponder why her mother wanted to send her away. There were times when Inara caught glances of her mother studying her. And what she saw was something close…to envy. But Inara would shake the foolish thoughts aside. What would her mother need to envy her for?

                                                                               *******

  The application was sent to The Guild and was denied. Inara was told that she was too old for training. It didn't help matters that she had also given a terrible impression during the interview. Inara had made sure she was at her clumsiest, lacking the grace she had inherited from her mother. She spoke and wrote poorly, Inara had even caked on her mother's make-up, covering her natural beauty. When the headmistress shook her head in refusal…Inara rejoiced silently. But mother didn't see it that way.

"I don't understand, how could they say no? You were the best one…out of all them. Inara, you didn't do something you weren't supposed to do. Did you? Because if you did…" Yadhira said in a warning, her grip on Inara's arm tightening.

Inara shook her head in denial. "NO, I mean no mother…I did…I mean, I was like you." The last was said with a double meaning that Yadhira didn't catch. On their way back to the house, mother continued to murmur her thoughts out loud. As they walked on, people noticed the pair of them, an older woman and a young girl. Both shared a great resemblance, both quite lovely, only difference was…the young girl's face was beaming with happiness.

                                                                               ********

  The year was 2511; the war had lasted six years, with the independents crushed in defeat. The day of Unification had all Sihnon celebrating; even Inara had been caught up in the festive atmosphere. She was even lovelier than before and lovelier than her own mother. Inara ignored it, but still Yadhira took notice of the fact, causing her to be more spiteful towards her daughter. If Inara didn't do her chores quick enough, she would be punished for being too lazy; a beating with a cane was usually the method. If Inara answered back, Yadhira would slap her until she bled from the mouth. And when Inara read too much, since she had decided she wanted to be a teacher, Yadhira would take the book and use it for kindling for the night's fire.   

And every night Inara fought the burning hatred that threatened to consume her, Nana's words echoing back to her. "She's your mother Inara…remember that."  Then she would cry herself to sleep.

The next morning, Inara awoke to the sound of Yadhira's screaming. She quickly made her way to her mother's room. Upon entering, Inara saw mother throwing things around the room; her once beautiful countenance a mask of ferocity. "Damn that piece of gose, damn him twice over." Yadhira yelled as she reached for an expensive vase and flung it against the wall. Inara winced as the vase shattered, pieces littering the floor.

"Mother, what's wrong?" Inara asked in worry as she gazed upon the destruction. Yadhira began to cry, more in anger than pain. "That hundan, he stole it…all of it."

"All of what?"

"All of it…our savings…my savings…I am ruined." Yadhira cried as she pulled at her hair, slowly sinking to the floor. Inara went to her, sympathy in her eyes. "Don't worry, we'll make do, mother."

Yadhira looked up at Inara, a fanatical gleam in her gaze. "Yes, yes, we'll make do…you, of course, will have to start whoring. Men pay richly for a virgin. Yes, it will all work out."

Inara pulled away in horror, shaking her head in denial. "No mother, no…I won't, I can't."

Yadhira was soon raging again. "You will do as I tell you. You owe it to me Inara! You owe me! You will do it…you will do it!"

Inara's own temper flared in defense. "NO…you can't! Mother…I WON'T…I…" The rest was cut off as Yadhira advanced on her daughter, hand hitting her sharply across the face. When Inara stood her ground, Yadhira raised her hand for another blow, but Inara caught it. "No…mother…no more."

Yadhira laughed, voice mocking. "I am your mother…Inara…remember that." With her other hand she struck her with such force that Inara fell to the plush carpeted floor. As her mother grabbed the cane from the closet Inara tried to crawl away, but she gave up as she felt the cane's first blow across her legs. Then another blow, and another, until Inara lost count, passing out from the pain.

                                                                                  **********

  When Inara came to she heard voices around her. Her head ached something fierce as did her whole body. Inara tried to open her eyes, but found one swollen shut. Her mouth was dry and had a metallic taste of blood. She slowly stood up, her vision swimming and nauseous.

"Is this her?" Said a male voice.

"Yes, it's her. She was very disobedient, but don't worry, a couple of blows and she'll know her place. Works hard, cooks, cleans." Yadhira said the man.

Inara's blood froze as she tried to move forward. Mother wouldn't do it, would she? "Mother?"

"How much do you want for her?"

"45,000 credits, seems reasonable." Yadhira stated, ignoring Inara.

"You must be crazy, that's too much." The man responded.

"She's a good piece; strong, she'll do you good."

"Fine, I guess, my supplier was looking for some new girs. I'll take her."

"No…" Inara whispered, walking backwards she bumped into the wall. Two men came forward to bind her hands. Inara struggled and one of the men slapped her hard. She groaned as the pain washed over her. Her vision became even worse. "Mother please…don't do this…I am your daughter. I am your daughter…" The last thing Inara saw as she blacked out was Yadhira's hand counting the credits in her hands.

                                                                            ************

TBC- Chapter One: Slave

Feedback: So does it suck…Have potential…let me know.

Mandarin Translations: Pinyin

Hundan-Bastard

Lese-Crappy

Gose-Crap

Bi zui- Shut up

Yseu- Jesus