Light in the Loafers
One-shot
It was morning. Ken and Yoji sat eating granola, neither one fully awake. Omi, ever the morning person, skipped through the kitchen, grabbing an apple, and continuing down the stairs to the mission room with a cheerful good morning and a wiggle of his short-shorts clad ass. The men at the table watched in stunned silence.
"Hey Ken, you think Omi might be a little light in the loafers?"
"Huh?"
"You know, Testosterone Deficient, Rainbow Bright, Cream Crapper."
(blank look)
"Ass Blaster"
(even more confused look)
"GAY DO YOU THINK OMI IS GAY?"
(Ken turns really red) "No, he couldn't be"
"Think about it. He dresses like a boy whore. And that shirt. Did he steal that from a twelve year old girl? The peasant lace-up thing has been out since the seventies."
"Just because he. . ."
"And he is very girly, all emotional all the time."
"He had a girlfriend"
"Yeah who ended up being his sister. Face it Hidaka, Omittchi likes it up the ass."
"I think you're right. . .I wonder if he needs any help on the mission report. I better go check."
Downstairs. . .
"Am I WHAT?"
"You know, a Pencil Pusher, Colon Cowboy, Fudgepacker."
(Confused look)
"Not Adverse to a Little Man on Man Action."
"Huh?"
"Gay, are you gay?"
"I don't know I never really thought about it. I don't think s. . ." (words muffled by Ken's tongue being shoved down his throat)
-several hours later-
"On second thought, maybe I am gay."
Smirk "You want to continue this upstairs?"
"Ken-kun, we already did it three times, aren't you tired."
"No"
"Alright then"
-next morning-
Aya and Omi sat at the kitchen table, both silent (Aya because that's the way he is, Omi from lack of sleep) when Yoji came in from a night of clubbing, his mascara was running. He walked over to the fridge and grabbed an Evian, and then staggered up the stairs with his legs a little too far apart.
"Hey Aya, you think Yoji might be a little light in the loafers?"
(questioning glare)
"You know, Anal Reamer, Rump Ranger, Colon Grinding Wonder."
(same expression)
"Performer of Rectal Coitus"
(same expression)
"homosexual"
"Hn, what makes you think that?"
"Isn't it obvious? He dresses like a drag queen. What's with all the midriffs. And the make up. Makeup is for girls"
"He says it makes him look sultry"
"And he is very horny, he talks about sex all the time."
"sex with girls"
"Exactly. You're straight, and you don't feel the need to reassure us every three seconds. Methinks the fag doth protest too much. Face it Aya, Yoji is an Anus-Gibbon"
"Maybe you're right. . .I bet Yoji has a hangover, maybe I should take him some aspirin."
One-shot
It was morning. Ken and Yoji sat eating granola, neither one fully awake. Omi, ever the morning person, skipped through the kitchen, grabbing an apple, and continuing down the stairs to the mission room with a cheerful good morning and a wiggle of his short-shorts clad ass. The men at the table watched in stunned silence.
"Hey Ken, you think Omi might be a little light in the loafers?"
"Huh?"
"You know, Testosterone Deficient, Rainbow Bright, Cream Crapper."
(blank look)
"Ass Blaster"
(even more confused look)
"GAY DO YOU THINK OMI IS GAY?"
(Ken turns really red) "No, he couldn't be"
"Think about it. He dresses like a boy whore. And that shirt. Did he steal that from a twelve year old girl? The peasant lace-up thing has been out since the seventies."
"Just because he. . ."
"And he is very girly, all emotional all the time."
"He had a girlfriend"
"Yeah who ended up being his sister. Face it Hidaka, Omittchi likes it up the ass."
"I think you're right. . .I wonder if he needs any help on the mission report. I better go check."
Downstairs. . .
"Am I WHAT?"
"You know, a Pencil Pusher, Colon Cowboy, Fudgepacker."
(Confused look)
"Not Adverse to a Little Man on Man Action."
"Huh?"
"Gay, are you gay?"
"I don't know I never really thought about it. I don't think s. . ." (words muffled by Ken's tongue being shoved down his throat)
-several hours later-
"On second thought, maybe I am gay."
Smirk "You want to continue this upstairs?"
"Ken-kun, we already did it three times, aren't you tired."
"No"
"Alright then"
-next morning-
Aya and Omi sat at the kitchen table, both silent (Aya because that's the way he is, Omi from lack of sleep) when Yoji came in from a night of clubbing, his mascara was running. He walked over to the fridge and grabbed an Evian, and then staggered up the stairs with his legs a little too far apart.
"Hey Aya, you think Yoji might be a little light in the loafers?"
(questioning glare)
"You know, Anal Reamer, Rump Ranger, Colon Grinding Wonder."
(same expression)
"Performer of Rectal Coitus"
(same expression)
"homosexual"
"Hn, what makes you think that?"
"Isn't it obvious? He dresses like a drag queen. What's with all the midriffs. And the make up. Makeup is for girls"
"He says it makes him look sultry"
"And he is very horny, he talks about sex all the time."
"sex with girls"
"Exactly. You're straight, and you don't feel the need to reassure us every three seconds. Methinks the fag doth protest too much. Face it Aya, Yoji is an Anus-Gibbon"
"Maybe you're right. . .I bet Yoji has a hangover, maybe I should take him some aspirin."