The Sorting of Sirius Black by Erhothwen

Disclaimer: Nothing, save the plot.

The moment Sirius Black entered the Great Hall to the moment the Sorting Hat bellowed Gryffindor—the happenings of Sirius' peculiar sorting and his dear cousins' lovely reactions.

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Sirius had always been told he was a conniving, demanding and even perhaps an arrogant child, mainly from his cousins Andromeda, Narcissa, and Bellatrix. After falling victim one too many times to Sirius' "random ideas" caused from boredom (A bored Sirius was never a good thing), it was quite understandable for them to be horrified at the thought of their pesky cousin entering Hogwarts, ready to terrorize the school and disgrace the Black family name to the point of disownment. Not that his cousins ever suggested the thought of disowning their beloved Sirius to his mother. Suggested would have been far too polite a term; vigorously insisted would have been more accurate. Even Andromeda, considered somewhat the 'white' sheep of the Black sisters, found Sirius to be irksome and wearisome with his devious antics, stubborn and loud personality, and not to mention reckless behavior.

So it was much to their dismay as Andromeda from the Ravenclaw table, Narcissa and Bellatrix from the Slytherin table, watched the elder of their cousins (Regulus brought no form of relief to them either) march into the Great Hall with the rest of the overzealous First Years. He was chattering animatedly with another boy with untidy black hair and a mischievous glint in his eye that was all too familiar, for Sirus bore it often. Only Sirius could make friends with the wrong sort right off the back, oh the controversy to come.

Sirius at first listened to Dumbledore, keeping his dark brown eyes on the headmaster at all times. But due to short attention span only an eleven year old could muster, he found his mind drifting. His newly acquired acquaintance, James Potter, seemed to lose interest in Dumbledore too, his eyes drifting toward a pretty auburn-haired girl who seemed to be paying rapt attention to Dumbledore as if her life depended on it.

Sirius scanned the Great Hall, immediately spotting the Slytherin table. 'Yes, my future comrade in arms,' he thought. 'I hope James becomes a Slytherin too like me.'

Then a horrid though occurred to the young Black.

'Oh no, what the Sorting Hat yells...Ravenclaw! Or even worse, dim-witted Hufflepuff!'

But then Sirius remembered that he wasn't much of a studious person, so his worries of Ravenclaw being the Sorting Hat's selection were diminished. And quite frankly, Gryffindor didn't seem too bad of a lot and he preferred it second to Slytherin.

All his life, he had been told Slytherin was the only house worth being in. Though of course, Sirius had always been rather...rebellious toward strict boundaries and once voiced aloud to his mother that he thought Gryffindor also seemed like a fairly spiffy house. His mother was furious and screamed herself hoarse at him, much to Sirius' amusement. He like stirring things up and aggravating people.

Sirius felt an elbow jab him harshly to his side. "The sorting ceremony is about to begin!" James told him excitedly and Sirius' eyes lit up brightly.

And thus so, he stood there anxiously, his eyes on the stool at the front of the Great Hall where the renowned Sorting Hat perched, rather tattered and worn.

Much to Sirius' amazement, the hat began to sing loudly in a clear, ringing voice. Why didn't his family tell him these things? Sirius' amazement soon became odd bemusement for he found the hat's poetry to be rather silly. He was relatively thankful when the song ended for he was just itching for his name to be called.

Sirius quickly appreciated the fact his last name started with the letter 'B'; his impatience was running low and he would not have liked it one bit if it started with 'Z'.

After what seemed like ages, the Sorting Hat shouted, "BLACK, Sirius!"

Sirius nearly ran halfway there before remembering his composure, in which he walked in a regal flair the rest of the way up, an air of arrogance about him. Bellatrix had already begun thinking up wild stories about how he really wasn't related to her by blood and that he was adopted when a pack of werewolves abandoned him. But she soon struck a dilemma upon figuring out why a respected member of the Black family would adopt someone who had been abandoned by werewolves. From beside her, Narcissa was watching her cousin with keen interest. She didn't find him really to be that bad, just a tad on the impulsive side, just a tad mind you.

Sirius snatched up the Sorting Hat like a child grabbing the last of the candy bars and with a flourish, shoved it on his head to a snug fit. Hopping on the bench, he smiled brightly at the audience before him, flashing them his pearly whites, his brown eyes filled with anticipated delight. And all present at the Hogwarts staff were presented with an image of a charming, precious, and dare they think it, sweet little boy.

At first, the Sorting Hat didn't say anything and after a while, Sirius angrily said aloud, "This dumb hat isn't doing anything!" This caused ripples of laughter throughout the Great Hall, a desirable relief since most knew of the Black family reputation and another Black was hardly a welcome.

'This 'dumb hat' knows a lot more than a youngster such as yourself,' came the hat's response and Sirius jumped and felt foolish for doing so.

'You're sorting is quite the quandary, young Sirius Black,' said that Sorting Hat thoughtfully. 'An odd lad with an aura of craft and pride that Slytherin would appreciate, if you didn't get on their nerves at least. Yes, somewhat egoistic I see...Slytherin would do you well indeed.'

Sirius smiled at this unsurprising prospect.

'But what's this? You've got plenty of courage I see, a real bout of boldness and craving for attention. Now those are some Gryffindor qualities.'

Sirius also smiled at this prospect as he imagined everyone's jaw dropping if that hat were to declare him, what his sister Bellatrix called, "another bloody Gryffindor to soil the pollution".

'Decisions, decisions,' the hat told Sirius as it fought a battle of verdict between the two houses. 'Yes, you're very much different from your fellow Slytherin relatives. Well, you may be outgoing, but with Slytherin flair almost and your blood's telling me...'

The Sorting Hat was ready to bellow its choice when it paused for a split second and roared, "GRYFFINDOR!"

A murmur spread throughout the Great Hall and Sirius broke out in a mirthful, yet at the same time, wily grin, his eyes twinkling all the more so as he took in the picture before him.

The students were whispering furiously to each other, the Hogwarts staff had a rather shocked look etched in their faces, and even Dumbledore appeared to be slightly bewildered. Though only slightly, since he supposedly was to "know all". Narcissa simply gaped at him disbelievingly in an undignified manner resembling a goldfish, so much unlike her poised self. Andromeda was speechless, not knowing whether or not she should be happy for him, or unhappy about the definite howler he would receive. Bellatrix was absolutely seething, standing up abruptly to glare at Sirius. She made sure to give him her most deadly glare that she reserved only for such occasions of...wrongness. When she noted that she was causing more than several people to look her way, she swiftly sat back down and refused to look at Sirius the rest of ceremony, telling all who would listen that she never liked him in the first place and that he was a wretched traitor since the day he was born, her desperate "abandoned by werewolves" story forgotten.

Being Sirius, he thought of the only thing he could think of doing. He gracefully slid off the stool and with the Sorting Hat still sitting on his head, he threw his hands crazily in the air and shouted in a goofy tone, "TA DA!" before giving an outrageously low and charismatic bow to his watchers, the Sorting Hat promptly falling off.

Such an event would be recorded in the next updated version of Hogwarts, a History.