Gaara Outtakes 2
TEMARI VS. TENTENAll: (watching the fight from the sidelines)
Kankurou: Aren't you going to cheer her on? She's your girlfriend, you know.
Gaara: Hmph. Wooh. Temari. (still crossing his arms as still as a statue.)
Lee: Go Tenten! Wooh! Wooh! Wooh! (with arms and legs punching in the air. Gazes at Gaara meaningfully.)
Gaara: (not to be outdone. Whips off his shirt so that his nipples are peeping sexily from the mesh fabric.) If you win, Temari, all this is yours.
Temari: Oooooh, Gaara!
Lee: (cheeks turn pink) Oh, yeah! I can do that too! (takes off his body suit….)
Neji: Lee! Nooooooo!!
Lee: (stands around naked confusedly while everyone starts retching around him, including Tenten) I'm sorry! I forgot to shave today! My apologies!
Kakashi: (muffles his mouth with his hand) His butt's even hairier than Zabuza's….
GAARA VS. LEEGaara: (sees his name on the billboard. Does nothing.)
Kankurou: (nudging him) Yo. Bro. It's your turn.
Gaara: (walks past the teams like a turtle and makes his slow way down the stairs)
Director: Cut! You're taking too long! I'm wasting too much film!
Gaara: But this thing is so goddamn heavy…. (starts mumbling swear words about his gourd)
Everyone: OO
GAARA VS. LEELee: (takes off his weights and lets them fall to the floor. KABOOOOM!)
Gaara: Baki. May I?
Baki: Gaara! No!
Gaara: (unstraps his gourd. The explosion leaves the entire building in crumbles while everyone coughs from the dust)
Kankurou: (looks into the hole the gourd made) Wow. How far did it make it to? Hell?
Gaara: (shakes his head) Past it.
GAARA VS. LEEGaara: (staring at Lee. Shivers)
Lee: (thinking: He must be scared because I'm so impressive!) (Teeth go ping! And he gives the thumbs up)
Gaara: (thinking: Ohmygod, Hairy Hair. Ohmygod he's coming closer. AAAAHHHH!!)
LEE OPENS THE GATES – TAKE 1Lee: (face burns red as he prepares for Primary Lotus)
Gaara: Hmmm…. (unstraps his gourd and rolls it towards Lee like a bowling ball)
Lee: Huh? Aaaaahhhh!!! (instantly squished flat from the ten ton gourd)
Naruto: That's not a ninja technique!
Gaara: …. Taijutsu.
LEE OPENS THE GATES – TAKE 2Lee: (face burns red as he prepares for Primary Lotus)
Gaara: (yawns. Starts grabbing fistfuls of sand and chucking them at Lee like snowballs)
Lee: Hey, you can't do that! Ouch. Ow! (whines to Gai) He's distracting me!
Director: Cut! Gaara! You're supposed to stand there stupidly while Lee gets time to power up!
Gaara: (starts throwing sandballs at the Director)
GAARA VS. DOSU – TAKE 1Gaara: (gazing at the moonlight on top of the roof)
Dosu: If I kill you, then I have a better chance of fighting Sasuke.
Gaara: Why? You like him?
Dosu: (blushes and points the tips of his fingers together) Maybe….
GAARA VS. DOSU – TAKE 2Gaara: (gazing at the moonlight on top of the roof. Sneezes)
Dosu: Are you all right? I brought a pack of tissues. (holds it up)
Gaara: Thanks. (blows his nose like an elephant) Hey, you're not that bad.
Dosu: Does that mean you're not gonna kill me?
Gaara: No.
Dosu: Damn.
GAARA VS. DOSU – TAKE 3Gaara: (gazing at the moonlight on top of the roof. Kills Dosu before he even gets to say a word)
Director: Cut!
Gaara: Sorry. I got too excited.
GAARA VS. DOSU – TAKE 4Gaara: (gazing at the moonlight on top of the roof)
Dosu: If I kill you, then I have a better chance of fighting Sasuke.
Gaara: So?
Dosu: So…then I will be fulfilling Orochimaru's plans.
Gaara: So?
Dosu: Orochimaru is my boss.
Gaara: So?
Dosu: If I don't kill you, then he'll kill me.
Gaara: So?
Dosu: You're not making any sense!
Gaara: So?
Dosu: Argh!
Gaara: Can I just eat you now?
Dosu: Fine….
GAARA SPIES ON SASUKEKakashi: Like, you can come out from behind that rock. Your killing intention is sending chills down my spine, yo.
Gaara: (steps out) Sasuke. I have something to ask of you.
Sasuke: Uh…yes?
Gaara: … Dosu wants to know if you'll go out with him.
Sasuke: …Is that it?
Gaara: Yes.
Sasuke: You came all the way up here just to tell me that?!
Gaara: …Yes. Actually, there's something else….
Kakashi & Sasuke: (hold their breaths)
Gaara: …but I forget.
Sasuke: Phew! I mean…tell Dosu 'no'. I mean, I like him, but not in that way. Yeah.
Gaara: (eyes suddenly go wide) Oh, yeah. I just remembered….
Kakashi & Sasuke: (hold their breaths)
Gaara: I killed Dosu.
Sasuke: So why are you bothering ME?!
Gaara: (trying to remember why) Because I feel like it? (asked hopefully)
Sasuke: No.
Gaara: (looks back and forth) Then…I guess I'm going to go now. (hops over the edge and away)
Sasuke: What was THAT all about?
Gaara: (hand suddenly grasps the side of the mountain, like The Monster or The Thing)
Kakashi & Sasuke: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!! (hug each other and run away)
Gaara: (panting, finally swings himself up) I just remembered…. Hey, where'd everyone go?
THE HOSPITAL VISITSakura: (visiting Lee at the hospital when a shadow shaped EXACTLY like Gaara looms over her) Hmm. That must be Ino. (spins around)
Gaara: Boo!
Sakura: AIIEEEEEEE!!! (AIIEEEE! echoes down the hall)
THE HOSPITAL VISITShikamaru: What was that sound?
Naruto: Must be the wind. (stops eating as a shadow shaped EXACTLY like Gaara looms over his hospital bed) Hmm. That must be Chouji.
Shikamaru: But Chouji's still in bed.
Gaara: (peeks his head in) Boo!
Naruto: AIIIEEEEEEEE!!! (AIEEEE! echoes down the hall)
THE HOSPITAL VISITChouji: (sitting up in bed chomping on potato chips) What was that sound?
Ino: I dunno. Sounded like Naruto….
Chouji: (shrugs, when A SHADOW SHAPED EXACTLY LIKE GAARA LOOMS OVER HIM!!!) Hmm…must be…Shikamaru?
Gaara: (peeks his head up from the end of the bed) Boo!
Ino: AAAIIEEEEEEEE!!!
Chouji: AIIIEEEEEE!!! (spills potato chips all over himself. AIIIIEEEEE! echoes down the hall…)
THE HOSPITAL VISITGaara: (finally finds the right room. Walks up to Lee and looks down at him. Shivers.)
Lee: (feels a shadow SHAPED EXACTLY LIKE GAARA looming over him) Gai???
Gaara: Boo!
Lee: ….
Gaara: BOO!
Lee: ???
Gaara: Aren't you scared?
Lee: No…. Where's Gai? (looks about confusedly)
Gaara: Can I just eat you now?
Lee: I guess if it makes you happy, then yes. But I don't think it would be very pleasurable since I am so hairy.
Naruto: Found you!
Gaara: Uh…. Boo!
Naruto: AAAIIIIIIIEEEEE!!! (slaps his cheeks)
Shikamaru: Stop acting like a moron!
Naruto: I can't help it! It's a natural reaction!
Shikamaru: (to Gaara) What are you doing here?
Gaara: Well, I was coming here to eat Lee. But then I decided that he would be too hariy, so now I'm not going to.
Shikamaru: That's IT?!?!
Gaara: (looks Naruto and Shikamaru up and down and licks his lips)
Naruto: AIIIIEEEEEE!!
Shikamaru: Shut up! Why do you eat people?
Gaara: … Because I feel like it? (hopeful look)
Naruto: Liar!
Gaara: … Because…when I was younger, everyone avoided me. So now I eat people to feel alive!
Shikamaru: …That doesn't make sense….
Gaara: (gets all defensive) So?
Shikamaru: Eating people doesn't make you alive.
Gaara: So?
Shikamaru: Food makes you alive.
Gaara: So?
Shikamaru: Why do you eat people?
Gaara: So?
Shikamaru: That wasn't a reply!
Gaara: So?
Shikamaru: You're supposed to answer my question with a statement!
Gaara: So?
Shikamaru: Argh!
Gaara: Uh… Boo! (runs away)
Naruto: AAAIIIIIIEEEEE!!! (AIEEEEEEEE! echoes down the hall)
CHUUNIN EXAM: GAARA VS. SASUKE – GAARA WALKS DOWN THE STAIRS – TAKE 1Naruto: AAAIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE! Gaara ate them! Now he's gonna eat us next!
Shikamaru: Shut up! Just lie low and stay still.
Naruto & Shikamaru: (sit on the steps nervously while Gaara slowly approaches them)
Gaara: #%$! this stupid gourd. %&##$&… (not even watching as he steps between Naruto & Shikamaru. Slips and falls.)
Naruto & Shikamaru: Uhh….
Gaara: (on his back like a turtle still strapped to the gourd) Man, this sucks.
GAARA WALKS DOWN THE STAIRS – TAKE 2Naruto & Shikamaru: (sit on the steps nervously while Gaara slowly approaches them)
Gaara: (walks past Naruto & Shikamaru. Accidentally trips on his sash and goes tumbling the rest of the way.)
Naruto & Shikamaru: Uh….
Gaara: If you walk me down the stairs…I promise I won't eat you? (looks up hopefully while he kicks his little feet in the air)
GAARA WALKS DOWN THE STAIRS – TAKE 3Naruto & Shikamaru: (sit on the steps nervously while Gaara slowly approaches them)
Gaara: Ahem.
Naruto & Shikamaru: (get up and each take a hold of Gaara's hand)
Gaara, Naruto & Shikamaru: (all walk down the stairs holding hands)
Director & Staff: Oh my god, this is too hilarious.
To be continued??….