Disclaimer: Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto. Period.

A note before it starts: First, I don't even have an excuse why I wrote this. Second, there will naturally be spoilers. What's in existent in the manga as of now is pretty much fair game. Third, I usually choose a higher rating than necessary. Fourth, I'm just having fun. Be warned.

Prologue

A newborn infant is usually slapped at its bottom to induce crying. This isn't done out of spite, you know, but to let the child exercise its lungs. It also gives a one a jumpstart in breathing; after all, if you're planning to live at all, you start with getting oxygen to your cells.

I suppose you've all heard of that little joke about the midwife slapping the mother because of the infant's unbelievable ugliness. No?

Anyway, my story has something to do with that little joke. My mother (may she be at peace, wherever she is now) always did spread that anecdote–and she swore it was true, too. She claimed the doctor took one look at me, and then, squealing irrepressibly, slapped her hard in the face. That, friends, heralded the misfortunes that hounded my person because of this visage.

You must think I'm getting old, me getting reminiscent and all that. Well, I'll be thirty soon, but that's not the reason why these bittersweet memories keep surfacing. (It's not my fault, I swear.)

See that black-haired kid a little bit to the left? That's one of my fifteen-year-old charges, a Leaf genin. I might as well warn you: before he looks this way, you better take a deep breath. I don't want you to asphyxiate when you finally see his face.

It's a very dangerous face. Even it's owner might not know just how dangerous...

I suppose, Uchiha Sasuke did have some vague idea of just how striking his face is. After all, girls had been swooning at him, as far as he could remember. From experience, I'd say it's something you learn to live with–that is, until the village women decides you're of marriageable age. And that, believe me, is when masks become amazingly practical.

Now don't be surprised if his so-called flawless face is marred with a scowl. It's Sasuke's habitual expression, but if it's extra cold today, it's because he's a little paranoid these days.

It started all started with that Class B assignment we accomplished some days ago...