Con Job Con Job

Some quick pre-story stuff from the WebGrinch:

*An alternative universe story (such as this one) takes a portion of a story and changes one little detail or event that would have a ripple effect and create a "Mirror Mirror" ending.) Having seen "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" more times than I've seen Star Wars: The Phantom Menace, I got inspired to write a few things. This is the only one done so far and by far the shortest. It contains a bit of a spoiler, so if you haven't seen the movie and don't want to know ANYTHING about it, stop reading this and go surf the rest of the 'net right now :)

Why write it? Well, I HATED Mayor May Who giving the Grinch the razor during the Whobilation (I think Martha May should have turned around and SLAPPED the Mayor for doing it!). If he hadn't, our mean, green, anti-hero would probably have gotten over his hatred of Christmas a *lot* easier, and well, of course, you wouldn't have a movie 'cause he might not have gone on to steal Christmas, BUT then again, if the rest of the Whobilation had gone on like it had in the movie, my little alteration in the timestreams here may not have made much of a dent in the final outcome and the Grinch would have most likely *still* burned the town Christmas tree to the ground. I was also intrigued by the fact that in the movie's novelization, the Grinch was an accomplished pick-pocket!

So...without further adeu...

Cindy Lou tugged on Martha May Whovier's skirt. The woman looked down at the little tyke, embarassed that someone had caught her cheering for the Grinch as he had won the sack race. She was somewhat relieved to see that if anyone had to catch her, that someone was at least a friend.

As the jubilant crowd swept up the Grinch in a victory carry over their heads, Martha looked through the crowd for the Mayor. He was on the other side of the finish line, frowning, clearly disapproving of the Grinch's victory and that he seemed to be stealing the show. Martha found both the victory and the Mayor's discomfort strangely satisfying.

Mayor May Who seemed to be looking through the crowd for his assistant, WhoBris, who was uncharacteristically absent from his side. Martha frowned. If the Mayor's lackey wasn't there, he was usually off doing some dirty work for his boss. She scanned the crowd and spotted him coming out of Farfingles with a small, wrapped package.

She bent down to Cindy Lou and whispered something into her ear. The girl nodded and followed WhoBris as he made his way back towards the Mayor. Meanwhile, Martha headed towards Farfingles.

At some point, when the Mayor was distracted to the other end of the podium with the Whobilation activities, Cindy Lou Who ran up to the Grinch and whispered something urgently to him. He drew back, looking at her in disbelief, then a cloud of fury crossed his features the likes of which she had never seen in a Who. It made her afraid of the Grinch more than anything ever had - even that first discovery of him clinging to the post office wall above her. The Grinch looked to Martha May Whovier. "It is," she confirmed. There was a pleading look in her eyes. Taking his hand in hers, she stroked it. "Please don't leave again," she whispered. "I've missed you."

He was so stunned by her revelation, he just stared at her, barely reacting to Mayor May Who tapping the microphone next to him to get the crowd's attention. Martha May let the Grinch's hand go and acted as if nothing happened when the Mayor looked over at them.

Distracted from his blind fury over Mayor May Who's little 'gift', he came up with an idea. He flashed Martha an ugly smile, putting a friendly arm around August May - something he knew the Mayor would absolutely hate. He had a Grinchy plan in mind.

"And now," the Mayor announced. "It's time for Present Pass It On." Who Bris handed a small box to the Grinch. "And as always, we start with our Cheermeister."

The Grinch grabbed the box with a squeal and flung the lid off. As he tipped it away from the Mayor and towards himself, Martha May held her breath.

"Oh, Mayor! You shouldn't have," the Grinch chortled as he removed an expensive gold watch from the tissue in the box. He shed mock tears for the benefit of the audience. "I didn't know you cared!" Planting a slobberly kiss on August's fat cheek, he proclaimed, "It's FABULOUS!"

Stunned, the Mayor looked over at the empty gift box. Clearly he was completely taken aback by what the Grinch had found in it. It wasn't supposed to be -

"Hey, that's MY WA - " he yelped.

"And now Martha May," the Cheermeister interrupted, drowning out whatever it was the Mayor was complaining about now. "Sadly, I had no time to come up with a gift, but Cindly Lou here tells me it is traditional for the Cheermeister to have the first dance with the Queen of the Whobilation." He extended his hand to Martha May, bowing gallantly. "My gift to you shall be to give you the best dance you've ever had, baby!"

She smiled, extending her gloved hand to him. He gently took it, then pulled her roughly to him. She squealed in surprise. "Let the Present Pass It On continue!" the Grinch yelled happily. The Sal-Wo-ation Army Band struck up a Christmas tune suitable to dance to. The Grinch made a face, making a mental note to teach them some other un-whoilday tunes when he got the chance. Martha May grabbed her present with her free hand, passing it to Officer Wholigan and Officer Wholigan turned to Whoboy and passed another present along and on down the line. The sound of excitement through the crowd drowned out the sound of Mayor May Who wacking his assistant and bootlicker WhoBris over the head with the empty present box he had grabbed from the Grinch.

As the Grinch spun Martha May around, he called out to Cindy Lou. She caught the item he flung her and quickly pocketed it.

"What was that, honey?" Lou Who asked his daughter.

She pulled out the razor the Grinch had thrown her. "Oh, nothing," she said, smiling. "Nothing that matters anymore."

Fini