Disclaimer: I own nothing. J.K. Rowling is my savior.

Author: verdant quest

Warning: Slash, strong language

Rating: PG-13

Spoilers: PoA

Summary: Young Sirius Black and Severus Snape exchange more than a few foul words.

Author's note: Homage paid to The First Kiss Project. Abbreviations for characters are as follows: SB for Sirius Black, and SS for Severus Snape.

True Love Never Did Run Smooth

SB: Snape.

SS: Black.

SB: Snivilous.

SS: Dog breath.

SB: Greasy git.

SS: Bitch's whelp.

SB: No argument there.

SS: What are you talking about?

SB: Have you ever met my mother?

SS: Huh. 'nough said.

SB: Yeah…….

SS: So…

SB: Yeah…

SB: Bastard.

SS: No, actually.

SB: Really?

SS: To the best of my knowledge.

SB: Oh…

SS: Right…

….

SB: Well, bend over for You-Know-Who, Arse.

SS: Go hump Potter's leg, Puppy.

SB: Been there, done that, moved on.

SS: Oh…well, go bugger a werewolf!

SB: Again, been there, done that, got the T-shirt.

SS: Oh…go use a rat as a fuck-toy.

SB: Eww! I'm not that desperate!

SS: Oh, right. So…hmm…Act out your worst fantasy, then.

SS: Umph! Hey, what're you…

…saliva noises….

SS: So, that was your worst fantasy?

SB: Yeah. I've been having dreams for months.

SS: Oh. Am I that horrid? My hair is clean, you know.

SB: No.

SS: No, what?

SB: No, you're not that horrid.

SS: Oh. Well, good then…

(grabbed)…more noises…more noises…

SB: Yeah. Damn right.

…more noises.

SB: Slytherin scum.

…more noises.

SS: Teachers' pet. Literally.

… more noises.

SB: No, actually.

… more noises.

SS: Mine, then?

…more noises.

SB: Yeah…….

The End.