(Thanks to my father for giving me the idea to this short story)

The beggar known as Duckman wandered the streets of the Shades aimlessly. He had wandered them so many times before that he knew every turn of the narrow avenues.

People thought that he was crazy, because, they claimed, that he had a duck on his head. But Duckman knew that other people were the crazy ones, because he did not have a duck on his head. Surely he would have noticed by now if there lay a waterfowl on the top of his head.

On his way he passed a small pond, where three ducks were swimming around in the dirty water. They began screeching at him, but he paid them no attention. But someone else did.

*Why are you on the head of that man?* they squawked.

*What man?* the duck asked.

*The man right underneath you!* they replied.

*There is no man underneath me! Are you stupid?* the duck squawked back.

*Yes there is!* the ducks said in frustration, *Just look down!*

*Look,* the duck pointed out, *If I really was on top of a man, wouldn't he have noticed by now and chased me off him?*

*But…!*

*No! If I look down, you will all just laugh at me for falling for that stupid trick. So there."

And with that Duckman, who had no duck on his head, and the duck, who had no man underneath him, continued their journey through the Shades of Ankh-Morpork, leaving the ducks shaking their heads.