Drinking and Chibis do NOT Mix

Uh... I don't have much to say about this fic. It just sprang on me all of a sudden. It's a Nagi + Omi fic mostly cause I didn't want to put in a sex scene. See, I figured that if I don't make my ratings so high, maybe more people would read my fics and actually REVIEW THEM! I like reviews a lot ^.^. This is PWP, just to warn you and it is yaoi if the Nagi + Omi thing didn't clue you in. Please do not hold me responsible for any negative reactions you get from this fic. It is never my intention to offend anyone.

Warning: Not much. Yaoi, Nagi + Omi. PWP. If you read my little speech up there, you'll already know that. Right. Moving on.

Disclaimer: Don't own them. Never did and probably never will, though if I do I would be happy enough to die. But then, if I owned them, no one else would ever find a trace of them ever again...

Nagi skipped down the stairs, whistling a cheerful song as he went. Schuldich glance up from where he sat in front of the TV.

"Well, Nagi. Finally got some, huh?" Schuldich said with a smirk. "It took you long enough to get into that chibi into your bed."

Nagi smacked Schuldich upside the head with his powers.

"Not so loud," he hissed at Schuldich. "Crawford might hear. And anyway, I haven't slept with Omi."

"Sure you haven't, chibi," Schuldich said with a knowing smirk. "So what are you so happy about?"

"Today is Omi's birthday!" Nagi exclaimed happily. "I wanted to have a nice quiet candle-light dinner with him and curl up with him and watch a movie..."

Nagi's voice drifted off. Suddenly he came back to Earth again and grasped Schuldich's arm.

"Schuldich, could you please take Farfie off somewhere? Crawford's gonna go to a meeting with Ms. Onahagi[1] so he won't be here but I really want to be alone with Omi tonight." Nagi said.

"I don't wanna take Farfie with me," Schuldich whinned. "He's insane. And he's no fun. And I can't get him to sleep with me."

"I'll do your chores for a week," Nagi wheedled.

"A month," Schuldich replied, all too happy to barter for a way out of doing house chores.

"Two weeks," Nagi said, crossing his arms and looking stern.

"Three,"

"Two and a half. Take it or leave it."

"Fine," Schuldich said, satisfied that he didn't have to think about another much despised chore for another two and a half weeks.

"Thank you, Schuldich!" Nagi replied, beaming.

~Author's break~

Wow, that took entirely too long. The next part's gonna make the title make sense, I promise. Right, on with the fic.

~End Author's break~

Nagi bustled around the apartment nervously. He had been fussing around ever since he managed to stuff Schuldich and Farfarello out the door two hours ago. Everything had been checked and re-checked at least five times.

/Okay, Omi is gonna be here any minute now. Let's go over the check list one more time. Lamb chops in the oven, check. Side dishes, check. Whipped cream, check. Fresh fruit (in chase Omi's not ready to go all the way yet) check. Small, personal birthday cake, check. Gift, check. Romantic candles placed all over the apartment, check. Champaign, check. Movie, check. Well, everything looks okay./

Next, Nagi fidgeted in the mirror. He had gotten brand new clothes especially for this occasion. Instead of his usual school uniform, Nagi now wore a fishnet shirt that failed to cover much of anything, black leather pants that looked painted on, and assorted silver accessories to complete his look. Schuldich had done a classic double take when he'd seen Nagi and Farfarello just smirked. Nagi didn't know what that all meant, though...

/I really hope my koi will like the new look,/ Nagi thought. /What if he thinks I look too slutty? Oh, no! what if he breaks up with me because of this?! I can't lose my koi.../

Before Nagi could run upstairs to change, the doorbell rang, announcing the arrival of said koi.

/Oh no! It's too late. I can't make Omi wait outside too long; he might leave. What do I do?! I guess I'll just have to open the door and hope for the best./

Taking a deep breath, Nagi went to open the door. There stood his koi. Wearing very short, white leather shorts and a vest unzipped all the way to his navel. It took a strong force of will not to drool at the sight.

"Hi, Nagi," Omi began. He was not given a chance to finish. Instead he was pulled inside by a very flushed Nagi. Once Omi was inside the door and once said door was shut, Nagi pressed his koi up against the wall with his body.

"Hi, yourself," he managed to get out before kissing Omi passionately.

"Happy birthday," Nagi said, once they both ran out of breath and ended the kiss.

"Was that my present?" Omi said with a pout.

"No, koi," Nagi replied. "That's only a little taste." He licked his lips suggestively.

Omi flushed and looked away, coyly. Omi finally looked around at his surroundings.

"Wow," he said. "The bad guys sure live the good life."

"Yup, we sure do," Nagi replied cheerfully. "If you think this room's pretty, wait till you see the bedroom."

"I believe I shall," Omi said suggestively.

/Perhaps I won't need those fresh fruits after all.../

"But right now, I'm hungry," Omi said, breaking the spell.

Nagi laughed.

"You're always hungry, Omi," Nagi said.

"You know it," Omi replied cheerfully.

"Well, I believe the lamb chops are done."

"Lamb chops?" Omi asked, eyes sparkling.

"Yup, lamb chops," Nagi replied, with a grin at this koi's reaction.

"Let's eat!" Omi said, moving toward the kitchen.

~Second Author's break~

AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! Why do I always have to be so long winded?! I'm sorry, I'll try to wrap this up soon, or at least get to the point. Alright, on with the fic.

~End Second Author's break~

A great meal, cake, song, and present latter, the two chibis sat opposite each other at the large dining table, the evidence of their meal littering the table. They were on their second bottle of Champaign and both chibis were extremely flushed.

"Happy birthday," Nagi repeated.

"Thank you, Nagi," Omi replied. "This is the best birthday, ever."

Nagi flushed with pleasure.

"Really?" he asked, a bit timid.

"Really." Omi replied with a breathtakingly sweet smile.

Nagi flushed even more, making him resemble a tomato with black hair. To get over his embarrassment, Nagi decided to change the subject.

"So," he said, casually. "Do you wanna go see the movie I rented?"

"Sure!" Omi said enthusiastically.

They both got up, Nagi a bit more steadily than Omi. In fact, Omi needed a little help to get back into the living room, not that Nagi was at all loath to give him such support and then some....

Once they got to the couch, Nagi deposited his koi onto the soft couch. Omi tumbled into the couch, laughing. Nagi bustled around the room, lighting the fireplace and the candles. Finally he returned to where his koi was sitting.

"I'll be right back," he said with a small peck on Omi's lips.

"Where are you going?" Omi said, confused. Nagi decided that Omi looked extremely cute when he was confused.

"I'm gonna go get desert," Nagi replied.

"Oh," Omi said, his eyes at half-mast.

Nagi hurried into the kitchen and got the whipped cream and a small bowl of fresh strawberries. After that, he hurried back into the living room. The sight of the living room froze Nagi in his tracks.

/Oh, shit,/ Nagi thought. Omi lay with his head pillowed on the sofa's arm rest. Somehow, he had managed to move one of the candles close to the curtains that hung in the windows. Said curtains are burning merrily away, barely a few inches from where Omi's golden head lay. Nagi quickly ran to his koi's side and pulled him away from the threatening flames.

"What?" Omi asked as he became alerted by the sudden move of his body. He turned around and blinked owlishly at the flames.

"Big fire. Don't worry, I can blow it out," Omi said and in his drunken state, tried to blow the flames out with his breath. Frustrated when the fire did not quickly go out, he tried to lean closer to the flames and blow harder. Finally, his lips are almost touching the fire.

"No, koi!" Nagi exclaimed and with his telekinetic powers, pushed his koi away from the fire. He then ran into the kitchen and got the fire extinguisher. Finally, the fire was out but the curtain was black and crumbling.

/Crawford is gonna have a fit,/ he thought despairingly. He looked back at where his koi lay, now soundly asleep. /Well, at least he didn't get frightened,/ Nagi thought. He sighed with disappointment and went and got a blanket to cover his koi up.

"Awww, damn," Nagi said aloud. "I really screwed this one up. I'm a really miserable boyfriend."

Sighing, Nagi sat on the floor next to his sleeping koi and leaned his head back. Without realizing it, Nagi drifted off to sleep.

~Third Author's break~

See, I told you I'd make the title make sense. Leave chibis with alcohol and you'll be lucky to have a house to return to! Right, now to wrap this up...

~End Third Author's break~

Omi woke with a headache that muddled everything.

/Oy,/ he thought. /What happened last night?/

He looked around and found himself lying on a couch with a blanket over him. Glancing down, he could see a black-haired head leaning against the side of the couch. He blinked with surprise.

/Did Nagi fall asleep just like that?/ he thought amazed. Then, he began to remember what happened the night before.

/Oh my god! I can't believe I'm such an idiot!/ Omi hung his head in shame at some of those memories (namely the one where he tried to blow out the fire). /Nagi must think I'm such a dimwhit./

Just then, the other chibi awoke and stretched, almost hitting Omi in the face as his waved his fist around. He glance around to see Omi sitting up on the couch.

"Hi, koi," Nagi said. "Sorry about last night."

Omi looked at him in confusion.

"Okay, why are you apologizing?"

Nagi blinked.

"I made a total mess of everything last night! I almost burned the whole place down."

"Okay, first of all, everything was perfect. Second of all, the curtain was my fault, so stop apologizing."

"But..."

"No buts," Omi said, putting a finger on Nagi's lips to shush him. "Everything was perfect last night. It was the best birthday I've ever had."

"Really?"

"Really."

Nagi smiled and leaned over to give Omi a kiss. Just as their lips were about to touch, the phone rang. Nagi gave an apologetic grimace but went to get the phone anyway.

"Hello?" Nagi said into the receiver. Crawford's voice drifted through.

//Both you and Bombay are going to be responsible for ALL of the chores in the house for the next month,// Crawford said. //Consider this both your punishment and a birthday present to Bombay.//

"How is it a present?" Nagi asked. He had long since given up to fate and accepted the fact that his leader knew a lot more things than he did about work and otherwise. He wasn't that surprised that Crawford knew about him and his koi. The man was a pre-cog after all.

//He gets to see you without having to make up an excuse for a month,// Crawford replied. //Tell Bombay happy birthday for me and that his teammates will start looking for him if he's not back in an hour.//

With that, the know it all bastard hung up. Nagi was left extremely annoyed. Now he was stuck with a month of chores! It's just not fare!

"What is it?" Omi asked.

"That was Crawford," Nagi replied. Upon seeing his koi's worried face, he hastily amended his earlier speech. "He already knows about us. He just wanted me to know that we have to do ALL of the chores for a MONTH!"

" 'We?'" Omi asked.

"Yes 'we'," Nagi replied. "He said we were to share the chores."

"That's great!" Omi exclaimed. "That means I get to spend more time with you!"

Omi went over and hugged and kissed Nagi. Their hugs and kisses gradually became less innocent...

"Mmmmmmm. No, Omi," Nagi said as he pushed away. "Your teammates are gonna start searching for you soon."

"What?" Omi asked not quite understanding how Nagi would know. Then understanding began dawning.

"Oh," Omi said, nodding his head.

"Yeah," Nagi said with regret. "You'd better get going."

The two chibis parted reluctantly.

As Nagi closed the door, he assessed the party. He concluded that everything went just perfect.

Well, that's that! How did you like it? Please review and tell me but don't flame. Flaming is ungood. Thanks!

1) Imaginary person. Supposedly Schwarz's new employer. Don't mind him. He'll probably never come up again. Made up name too. Not modeled after anyone.