Author: Daryn Maxwell
Date Started: 26 Jan. 2004
Date Completed: 17 Feb. 2004
Disclaimer: Shinseiki (Neon Genesis) Evangelion and all of its characters are property of Gainax. As always, comments would be much appreciated!
A/N: This follows no timeline. It doesn't fit neatly anywhere. It just is, but of course, it only makes sense after watching the Kaworu episode (24) of Evangelion.
You Lilim are truly amazing, Shinji-kun.
Wh... why do you say that?
Your species is unlike any other.
Unlike Angels, you mean?
No-- unlike any. Even we Angels are closer to the creatures that inhabit your world. But you are so very different.
How?
Look around. Everywhere you look, there are Lilims hurting other Lilims. Deceit, betrayal, death, indifference, anger, theft, envy, lies. You are the most intelligent species on Earth, and yet, the most crude.
But why does that make us amazing? Humans are just... horrible.
Not at all. Humans are the only life force where you will wound one another in every way possible, leave the deepest of scars in the hearts of your loved ones, and yet. . .
And yet. . . ?
And yet, all it takes is one Lilim, one smile, the mere concept of love, and the saddest, darkest person can be happy.
. . .
Are you happy, Shinji?
No. At least. . . I don't think I am. What is there to be happy for?
For being a Lilim. For being loved.
Who loves a coward like me? Misato? She's only using me, keeping me around now out of obligation. Asuka? Asuka may as well be dead. She never cared for me. Rei? My father? You?
Yes.
H-- huh?
I'll love you, Shinji-kun.
But. . . why would you? Y. . . you're an Angel!
Does that mean so much to you?
Of-- of course! We're not even the same species--!
True. But aren't you Lilim the ones who preach of love having no boundaries? Shinji-kun, look at me.
. . .
What do you see?
. . . I see you.
And what do I look like?
. . . Human.
Then we're no different. Our bodies are the same, and every soul, whether it be Lilim or animal or Angel, is alike.
But the Angels and Lilim are enemies!
Am I your enemy?
N-- no, of course not. . . !
Shinji-kun, I would never do you harm. I promise.
I. . . can't trust that.
For every second your father has spent apart from you, I'll spend an eternity with you. For every harsh word Asuka has uttered, I'll worship you. For all the distance Katsuragi-san, or Akagi-san, or Ayanami-san have kept, I'll remain beside you.
Why would you do that? Why. . . why would you choose a weakling like me over your own future? Your. . . your own life, your God?
There is no God, Shinji-kun. The closest there is to a God is our own hearts. God is a concept no more real than love or hate, but Lilim have made them real, and so they have fashioned a God outside of yourselves.
Then. . . what about Heaven? And Hell? Don't they exist? Isn't heaven your home?
You're my heaven. According to your logic, then you're my home as well.
I. . . am?
You are.
Oh.
Well?
Well what?
Do you still have no reason to be happy?
. . . No. I... I think I can be happy, then-- if. . . If you'll stay with me.
I will.
Oh. . .
Oh?
Um. . . thank you?
For what?
For loving me.
Don't thank me. I'm only coming home.
Oh.
Tadaima, Shinji-kun.
O... okaerinasai.