Title: What I Give Him
AN: The fic is during the quest (set little after Sam and Frodo leave the rest of the fellowship) and if you have a problem with slash I suggest leaving now…Sorry for the classic Hurt/Comfort stuff…I couldn't help myself, I'm weak…
Disclaimer: I don't own a bloody thing…the wonderful characters featured here all belong to Tolkien.
Summary: One Shot: Sam's POV: After breaking away from the Fellowship, Sam and Frodo pitch camp for the night. (Slash Content)
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When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears,
when you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears,
and I've held your hand through all of these years,
but you still have all of me.
My Immortal, Evanescence
What I Give Him
The silken Elven rope slid languidly between my work callused fingers as I twisted it about the wooden helm of the small boat Frodo had try to abscond with alone…without even me, his Sam. I do understand he didn't be wantin' me to be hurt and all but…but I couldn't just let him go alone to Mordor, no. I couldn't let him walk blindly into danger without his Samwise right by his side. No way, no how; not with the way his eyes always be making me feel hot and cold all at once. And I had made a promise to Gandalf, be he dead or no, I would keep that promise; for Frodo's safety and my own sanity knowing that I'm doing everything I can to protect him.
I pushed the thoughts of near abandonment out of my mind and focused on tying the other end of the Elven rope to a thick tree trunk close to the shore line. The sun was beginning to fall behind the horizon, forcing me to squint as I slipped the end of the rope into the last loop. I heard Frodo move behind me, sitting down upon the sandy bank pulling his knees to his chest, eyes transfixed on the green glassy surface of the river. His small body seemed so out of place. It wasn't natural for hobbits to be so far from home and a warm supper. The rope fell from my fingers as I turned to join him, sitting just far enough so our thighs were barley touching.
"I think it best, Mister Frodo, that we be taking a bit of a rest about now…" I kept my focus on the sun's rays that were now reflecting off the eerily tranquil river, shimmering against Frodo's placid face. The shadows played against his alabaster skin as reflected light shined in his cerulean eyes. "Seein' as I doubt we could get very far without the aid of sight that will surely be lost as soon as that sun sets." I looked at him now, watching as a small smile graced his lips but failed to reach his eyes.
"I do believe you're right, dear Samwise," he said closing his eyes with a sigh and adjusting his cloak around him. A pang of icy ache struck the pit of my stomach seeing him so distant. He'd always been a bit of a dreamer back in the Shire but this look he now wore far to often for my liking, was not of wistful fancies…far from it. I didn't ask, nor press the matter as to why he was so distant. I knew now that since we were to press on to Mordor alone the ring lay heavy upon his thoughts. I only wished he'd let me help…
Biting the soft flesh of my bottom lip I boldly reached out to stroke the length of his back in a comforting touch. A subtle tremor quaked beneath my fingers as I traced the curvature of his back through several layers of fabric.
"Oh Sam," I must have been mistaken; tricking myself into hearing a lingering purr of huskiness wreath his words as he spoke my name with a sigh. He leaned into my hands gentle caress as I traced back up to his shoulders. As he spoke his gaze never wavered nor strayed from the river before us as a large log of drift wood passed by. "How will we ever do this?" If only I could brush all his worries away with my hands and not only the creases marring his cloak.
"Shhh, we'll figure it all out some how, Mister Frodo…just rest now." I whispered, now lacing my fingers through dark auburn ringlets at the nape of his pale neck. He swooned under my fingers and shifted his body from sitting to laying, his head dropped and rested securely in my lap. "I'll keep watch," I whispered down him as his hands fell limp beneath his hand upon my thigh.
My hands continued to comb gently through his curls. Every strand beneath my fingers of silken spun chocolate shone in the dieing light. I felt his breathe even out as he drifted into a sleep seeming to be more serene then I had seen since sleeping by his side in Rivendell.
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A few hours after the sun had set and moon had replaced her presence in the sky I placed my cloak beneath Frodo's head to take the place of my warm lap. I had gone to fetch wood from near by, close enough to still see Frodo in the dim moonlight Bathed in the faint warm glow of the small fire I had constructed I could see Frodo was beginning to toss and turn frantically in his sleep. He rolled onto his side, facing towards me, a pained expression contorting his naturally calm face. I couldn't suppress the sudden urge to run to his side and when a sudden gasping scream tore from his lungs I pulled his shaking, ashen body into my arms.
"Oh Sam, it's all my fault." He cried in a hoarse whisper pulling at the collar of my coat, burying his face in the folds of fabric covering my shoulder, shielding his face from my gaze. My hand reached to cradle the back of his head as I tried to sooth him best I could.
"Mister Frodo, nothings your fault, you didn't go and ask for this all to happen." My words seemed to be of no comfort; they fell upon deaf ears as he continued to sob into my shoulder. I held my tongue and just let my arms and presents calm him until he pulled back. Unspent tears still shone in his eyes threatening to cascade down his cheeks. Pulling his face to mine with my hand I pressed a light kiss to his brow. "Now tell your Sam what the fuss is all about." I know if it had been any other time he would have chivied me for speaking to him like a child, but it wasn't just any other time…not with that thing hanging about his neck.
"Gandalf…" His voice cracked and broke as he spoke the fallen wizard's name. He looked away from my face as he pulled his legs beneath him to sit upon. Several crystalline spheres dripped from his eyes, tracing patterns down his cheeks.
"Oh Frodo," I whispered involuntarily, the words poured from my lips free of proper title as my first reaction before I could correct them; propriety the least of my worries.
How could he even think that? I know as sure as a flower needs the sun and water that my Frodo could never intentionally bring harm to another being. My hand slipped from his hair to cup his face, brushing away the tear with the course pad of my thumb.
"Beggin' your pardon but that was hardly your fault, sir." His eyes were wide as he looked up at me, his hands still clutching and pulling at my coat.
"How, Sam?" Desperation laced his voice as he tried to control its wavering with monosyllabic utterances. He looked so lost and scared that I couldn't help my heart from thudding against my ribs trying to touch his own heart in comfort; to find a common rhythm. I could feel his grip on my clothing loosen as he waited for my reply.
"Gandalf, sir, wouldn't have given Moria to you as a choice if he hadn't known what was there. Moria was our only choice; we all might have died if we had not gone as you wished." Frodo's eyes softened as I spoke, I knew I must have said something right. His lips parted and smiled softly in a silent offering of gratitude. I felt his hands move up to the sides of my face, a hot blush quickly forming beneath their cold presence.
"What would I do without you, Samwise Gamgee, by my side?" He asked, not needing an answer nor truly requesting one. All I could muster for his kind words was a small smile. The fire's glow caressed half his face, the other side shadowed by darkness but glowing in moonlight. He was so beautiful, even more so then the Elves of Lothlorien we had seen but a day or so ago, least ways in my mind. A pale curtain fell and veiled his bluest eyes as he whispered but a hair's width from my lips, "I do wish I'll never find out, my dear Sam."
We sat like that for a moment; simply breathing. I could feel the rush of air against my lips as it passed into his full flushed lips. Breathing life in together, one breathe for us both. Living in breathing at the same pace; time seeming to slow till a stand still as we sat in the dieing firelight.
His hands left my face and traced blindly down my arms till they found my hands. Holding them in his he gently laced our fingers together in a solid unbreakable clasp, his hands were so soft and creamy white; contrasting horribly with my callused and tanned skin…but it felt right, felt complete. He pulled them between our bodies and pressed them to his chest, I could feel his heart beating steadily through the worn traveling cloths. He was showing me what I gave him; I calmed him, gave him peace when nothing else could.
I do believe it was I who at last moved the fraction of an inch closer and clumsily with untaught, virgin lips pressed against Frodo's. He didn't respond at first, to enraptured in breathing before but I felt his lips press back and soon a slick tongue traced the line of my top lips requesting permission to enter. I let my lips part for him and with languid strokes his tongue began to map out the inner regions of my lips and mouth. He lapped the flushed pink flesh of my bottom lip in a slow rhythm set down by the pace of his heart…that steady beat it retched under my fingers care and caress.
I gave him peace when the rest of middle earth was at war.
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AN: Okee well recently I've felt I can't write very well anymore so umm I'd really really love to hear what you guys think of this because I'm truly lost right now…So I hope ya liked it *grin*