Right, thank you to Scarlet Lark, my new favorite person in the universe. You are the first constructive criticism I have ever gotten! I LOVE YOU! This chapter goes out to you! The 10 Things reference was pretty much just one line that came out by accident and then I realized that it was actually from a movie. Hehe, I do that a lot. I'll see what I can do about a ghostie, not getting any big ideas right now, but I can see a general direction where it could go. Just not sure who. Peeves could be fun. Spike and Peeves driving eachother crazy. That could be interesting. Don't worry, there will be more on the Andrew front, I kind of forgot about him for a while. He might just be pleasantly surprised. Beatles do rock. They have a song for almost everything. The British slang thing was mostly because I wanted to stick in a line about poofters. I LOVE that word. Thanks also a bunch to Lucy, for her luvverly review. I'm not that much of a freak. Meani butt. Also, I just discovered a few reviews that apparently never showed up in my e-mail, so I'm going to reply to one from Elenrod about chapter 34. I DO SPELL CHECK! I guess it just doesn't like me very much. And do start watching Buffy. It's addicting. But I can stop any time I want to. Really. Anyway, this chappie I'll be sticking in Elizabeth, Jack, hopefully Andrew, Sam, Frodo, Aragorn, who I said had died, but I just realized he couldn't have. Sorry about that. Anyway, on with the show!

Our scene opens on the Hufflepuff common room. Students are slumped over chairs and couches, still wearing their footed pajamas and some of them holding empty glasses that, in a previous life, might have once held warm milk. Now they were empty, as said milk was currently spilled somewhere, either on the student or the floor. In the middle of the chaos lay Andrew, clutching a pair of Star Wars figurines. Slowly he stirred, twitching one eyebrow and squinting a single eye open a fraction of an inch.

"Oh the pain! The light, it burns!" he mumbled. Hesitantly he sat up and opened his eyes fully. He cast a glance around the room. Various other figurines were strewn throughout the debris and he could just see a Star Trek DVD sticking out of the couch. "What did we do?" a girl lying next to him sat up.

"Well, we asked you what kinds of things you liked, and you mentioned Star Wars. Then the other geeks came out of the woodwork, and the result sits before you. Pretty much we had a loser-fest."

"A loser-fest? I resent that."

"Ok, a sci-fi geek fest."

"That's better."

"So there are other people here who like Star Wars? I can't really remember much of last night."

"Like? I don't know if that word encompasses the overwhelming, obsessive love these people have for Star Wars. And Star Trek. And James Bond. And Lord of the Rings. Basically if it's a geek thing, they like it. We're a house of geeks and losers. Get used to it and join in the insanity."

"Oh. I think I'm going to like it here."

"Well based on last night, I'd say you'll be their new leader. Anything you say is cool, it'll be cool. Whatever you say, goes. You'll be worshipped, almost as much as the movies themselves. Be prepared to be scared."

"Hermione, where were you last night?" Jack inquired.

"I was in my dorm, where I was supposed to be." Hermione answered evasively.

"Yeah sure, cause you blow off our dates all the time to be 'where you're supposed to be'."

"I was talking to Buffy, ok?"

"About what?"

"Stuff. Actually I forgot we had plans. I was talking to Ron and Harry and they were being stupid. I was kind of disturbed by the Voldemort thing and I wanted to talk about it with someone, but they wouldn't. I got completely fed up with them, so I went and talked to Buffy because she's a counselor."

"Why didn't you want to talk to me?"

"I didn't think of you. I just figured Buffy would know what to do, because she might have had to deal with something like this before."

"So you'd rather talk to someone who you barely know but who has 'experience' than talk to me?"

"NO! It's not like that at all!"

"Sure. I just think you don't trust me anymore. What do you want me to sing to you again and then we'll be happy for another two chapters? No, I'm sorry, but I have to take a stand. You've been ignoring me completely for too long. I really don't think this is working, especially if you don't trust me enough to come and talk if something is bugging you."

"Well if that's how you feel then fine! I don't want to date someone who's completely paranoid! Talking to Buffy had nothing to do with you, and you had no reason whatsoever to think it was a reflection on you. But if you can't deal with me not spending all my time with you, then I'll just spend no time with you!"

"FINE!"

"FINE!"

"FINE!" the narrator screamed.

"WHAT!" Hermione and Jack both yelled at the narrator.

"I just felt left out. And besides, you sound like two year olds."

"SHUT UP! You're not involved in this conversation." Hermione and Jack retorted in complete synch.

"I'm just saying you're both making a huge mistake. I mean, if that last sentence didn't completely cement it. Oh come on, you don't see it? Now that's just sad, and if you're that our of it, then I'm not even going to try."

Meanwhile, in a house somewhere in England, our long neglected character Aragorn was busy braiding Wormtail's hair.

"You know you really need to condition more."

"I know, but Voldemort's schedule is so bloody full. He won't give me any time off. It's just 'Kill this, destroy that, ruin so and so's life'. How is a person supposed to take it? And you don't even want to know about the guilt."

"Guilt? I thought you were an evil mastermind's slave. Generally they have no conscience."

"Well thanks for the stereotype hon, but being around you has made me look at life in a different life. I mean, how would I feel if someone came along and killed you? I wouldn't feel so good. I'm starting to think maybe Voldemort's been pretty mean lately."

"No really?"

"No need to be sarcastic. I'm just saying. He's been-" Wormtail cut himself off as the aforementioned super-villian entered the room.

"I'm what? Really do continue, I love to hear about myself."

"You're, uh, just doing so well. I mean that last plan, it actually almost worked. I think we should, um, just have a-a a party! Right, to celebrate your victory over that bloody sod Harry Potter."

"Wormtail, you're a genius. How would I survive without you?"

"I don't know sir."

"Well, give yourself a pat on the back, and I'll make sure you get some more Digimon DVDs." Voldemort smiled at his little minion and left.

"We need to get out. I don't know how much longer I can stand this. I mean, yeah, I get free Digimon, but he's driving me crazy! Let's run away!"

"Where?"

"Oooh, let's go to Hogsmeade, I've always wanted to visit there! We can rent an apartment, and live all on our own. My first house!"

"Mine too! Well other than the palace, but that place wasn't exactly private. I mean, just about anyone could get in there. The security was just pathetic. Rivendell had better security than that dump. But Hogsmeade gets my vote."

"Hogsmeade it is!"

Spike and Elizabeth made their way slowly down a corridor, trying to find their double Charms class, and both failing miserably. You'd think a vampire would be able to sense a magic classroom, but apparently not. Loser.

"So the bloody poofters just come out of their dorm rooms and listen to my private conversation with Linnea. I mean, it wasn't as if we were blasting it to high heaven. We were just singing to each other. And then they watch us kiss. There is truly no privacy here."

"What's a poofter?"

"Figure it out, you're British too."

"That is not British by any stretch of the imagination. Any word as vulgar as that must be American."

"Are you calling me vulgar?"

"Maybe."

"Well thank you."

"I don't understand you."

"Not much of anyone does. He's a neutered vampire who is so lame he can't even come up with an original plight. He has to go and steal one from the ex of the girl he used to be stalking. And after stalking her for a good year, and even following her here, he suddenly decides he doesn't like her anymore. I seriously doubt anyone could understand anyone as messed up as him. He's just a loser." Peeves came flying out of the wall with his thumb and his finger making an L on his forehead. "Loooooooooossssseeeeeeerrrrrr,"

"Oh thanks. At least I'm not a pathetic attempt at a ghost who can't feel good about himself unless he's insulting vampires. Which, by the way is not a very intelligent thing to do. Although if you're spectral it might not be so bad. I mean, you can't feel anything. You're not even real. You're just, what, spare bits of plasma leftover because someone decided you were so annoying when you were alive that they had to kill you. And yet you still hang around. Don't you get that no one wants you here?"

"Oh, you've gone and hurt my feelings. Oh wait, I can't feel anything. Too bad for you, otherwise that might actually have been a good insult. But you're just too stupid to realize that I couldn't care less what you think. And at least I'm not chasing a new girl every two months like you. I'm my own man…ghost….thing."

"Yeah, well at least I'm not a poofter!"

"WHAT'S A POOFTER?" screamed Elizabeth, the narrator, Peeves and some random students that happened to be passing them at the time.

"YOU FIGURE IT OUR, YOU'RE BRITISH TOO!"

"Ok, both of you just break it up and stop acting like you're two," Elizabeth stepped between the quarreling pair. "Right, I'm standing in between an angry vampire and a crazy ghost. I really think I should be moving right about now," she delicately removed herself from aforesaid position and fled down the hall.

"As much as I'd love to stay and finish this discussion, I have to go to class," Spike smiled sarcastically at Peeves.

"Oh that's right, I forgot you had to go study with the 14 year olds. I'm surprised you're even keeping up in those classes. Their intellect is so far superior to your own."

"You'd better be glad you can't get beaten up,"

Sam walked in to the library with Buffy, terrified in the sense that he could barely tell what he was doing. He had no idea what he was talking about with his "girlfriend", something involving Linnea. God, did Buffy have an obsession with that girl. It was unhealthy. Frodo was sitting at a table in plain view of the entrance of the library. He looked up and saw Sam and Buffy arm in arm, giggling and talking. He stared for a moment, his big, blue eyes gazing mournfully across the room. Sam tried to look nonchalant and failed miserably.

"Hey Frodo," he smiled as they passed, his voice squeaking. He hadn't known when he called Buffy just how scary it would be to play this game in front of Frodo. He didn't want to hurt the hobbit, he loved him. And his big, blue eyes. So big and blue.

"Hi Sam. Hi uh, I don't think I know you,"

"I'm Buffy, Buffy Summers,"

"Oh yeah. I heard about you and Sam. I um, I'm just going to leave now," Frodo gathered his books hurriedly and rushed out of the library, his head ducked. Sam watched him go, his heart somewhere around his throat.

"I don't think this is going to work Buffy," he mumbled.

"Yeah. Neither do I. I actually meant to talk to you about that. I want Spike back, and now he's obsessed with some other random girl? I really don't think this is working."

"Ok. You found out I was gay and dumped me?"

"NO! You make me look all prejudiced and stuff." Buffy replied indignantly.

"Yeah well you are prejudiced. I mean look at the way you judge vampires before you even meet them. They could be perfectly nice people, but you just go around killing them."

"They have no souls, sweetie. It's hard for them to be nice when they don't have a conscience to tell them to be nice. They aren't even people."

"Don't call me sweetie. And fine, you saw me looking at Frodo and thought I was still in love with him."

"Ok. We are officially just friends."

"Right." They glanced at each other and then hurriedly tore in opposite directions, as fast as they could go without looking suspicious.

"Yes, that wasn't tense in any way shape or form. I love being in an angsty love story. I get to laugh at this soap opera of life." The narrator giggled quietly to herself.

Ok, so we have at least a short update about everyone. Let me know who you want more of, and if you want me to cut anyone. Other than Buffy characters since they're new. And be happy this one came so fast and is pretty long too. So you know what to do…REVIEW! One review spawned this entire chapter. You could inspire the next one. All you have to do is press that button and make me feel dandy about myself.