Fear Of Uncertainty
::Chapter II::
Deceitful Assumptions
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To Keiko...
...time had stopped, the entire world has frozen, and she was all alone with no other human soul to turn to.
She let her head drop between her knees as she sat with her legs spread. Her eyes glazed as all hope she had ever had for a future with Yusuke was slowly fading away.
She was pregnant with another man's child.
But that's not the thought that sickened her...it was that the child growing inside of her...wasn't Yusuke's.
It was a fact that couldn't be accepted, her worst fear at that moment was for that dream to have been real. She felt so dirty and guilty, dirty like she had been raped and guilty of allowing it to happen. She has betrayed Yusuke's trust. What would he think of her?
It made her sick to her stomach just thinking about it. She crawled over to the toilet, pulled her hair back and vomited out whatever she had left in her system.
How would he look at her? She didn't even want to look at herself; she was too ashamed to face her own reflection.
What would she say to him? He had to be told, she couldn't keep it from him for long. She wouldn't be able to keep it from anyone for long, eventually they would all find out.
Backing away from the toilet- she crawled over to lie down on the bathroom's downy rug. Curling up in a ball she hugged her knees, all she could hear aside from her train of thought were sounds of the water flushing down the pipes. She wished she could have just died there and waited for someone to come find her body. That way she would never have to let Yusuke know that she had been disloyal.
That way she would never have to see that look in his eyes, the look she knew that if she had to face would kill her. Maybe not physically, but her spirit would die.
Her eye twitched when she heard someone knocking on the door, "Hey Keiko, you are alright in there?" She recognized Shizuru's voice shouting.
"No," Keiko mumbled softly as she rolled onto her other side.
"Keiko?" She hollered, knocking a few more times.
"I'm fine!" She raised her voice loud enough for Shizuru to hear.
"You've been in there an awful long time," Shizuru continued, "Are you sick or something?"
"I'm fine!" Keiko repeated herself, a bit louder than before.
"Okay, if you need anything we're all in the next room."
Keiko shut her eyes tight as her hands covered her ears, silently making humming noises to block out anyone else who might check on her.
Scarcely rocking her body and forth as she lay on the bathroom's ground, resulting in her unintentionally falling asleep.
- -
Kuwabara couldn't sleep.
He'd been struggling with it all night, tossing and turning in his hotel room bed; he tried counting sheep among several other theoretical sleep techniques. None proved affective. He sat up and reached over for his watch, '1 AM...'
"God damn." Kuwabara mumbled irritably. He looked over to Koenma's bed which was being occupied by Yusuke- due to Koenma's lack of being in it.
Kuwabara got up off the bed and moved toward the door as quietly as he could, he didn't want to wake Yusuke. – Yusuke had told him about the fight he and Keiko had had, so he figured his pal could use some rest.
Avoiding the floor's squeaky boards as best he could, Kuwabara exited the room and made his way down the dark stairway.
Figuring a little food in his system would help him get to sleep; he reached his midnight snack destination down in the lobby of the hotel.
"Vending machines, gotta love'em!" Kuwabara whispered giddily to himself.
Upon putting his money in the slot and deciding on a particular snack, Kuwabara realized that he had failed to notice a piece of paper taped on the side of the device that read: 'Out of Order!'
"Mother fucker!" Kuwabara cursed softly as he began shaking the machine, and in one punch of frustration he forced all the candy bars on the bottom rack to come pouring out.
"That's what I thought!" He snickered silently as he collected the sweets off the lobby floor.
"Kazuma Kuwabara always has the last lau—" His sentence of self- congratulation was cut short when he noticed two figures out the window, exchanging words across the battle arena.
As he stepped closer to the window he could make out one of the figures to be female. But wait, short hair that uniform... But who the fuck was this other guy?
Something told him that he had to find out, and if his gut feeling proved right- he could go back to the room, wake up Yusuke and inform him that his girlfriend was out late with other men. He watched them from the lobby until they began walking into one of the rest halls, which is when he decided to get closer, running to the other side of the ring as fast as he could. By the time he had made it to the rest hall, neither Keiko nor the other man could be seen anywhere.
"Uhh, well that's weird." Kuwabara whispered, scratching the side of his face.
As he made his way further down the hallway he continued to hear noises, he couldn't make out what they were or where they were coming from exactly. But something told him to keep walking; so he did.
Approaching the end of the hallway, he was left with two choices; two doors to choose between.
Swearing he could hear the noises becoming clearer the closer he got to the door that read 'Storage Room', - he placed an ear to the door and made out the noises to be moans. Sounds like someone's havin' fun... It then occurred to Kuwabara that it more than likely was Keiko in there, and more than likely she was the one having fun.
Curiosity got the better of Kuwabara as he slowly cracked open the door, peeking inside to reveal Keiko and this strange man making love. Kuwabara's eyes widened and he quickly shut the door.
"That wasn't Urameshi..." Kuwabara acknowledged to himself. Part of Kuwabara wanted to barge in on them and break up the whole thing, but then something else told him to just stay out of it. She was Yusuke's girl, it was Yusuke's problem.
- -
"Keiko, wake up." A soft voice spoke.
Keiko was barely awake when her eyes fluttered open, "Mmm..." She moaned, letting know whoever was disturbing her that she was up.
"Keiko dear, are you alright?" The voice spoke again.
Her vision blurred as she got a glimpse of the bathroom's lights shining brightly, she was about to try and sit up but felt dizzy so decided just to lie there. As her sight returned she was able to make out who the voice belonged to, "Kurama?" Keiko sighed weakly.
Immediately sitting up from her place on the rug after realizing she had fallen asleep and left the used pregnancy tests lying everywhere, at first she couldn't even remember where she was.- How long had she been sleeping?
"What time is it?" She questioned worriedly, she felt as if she'd been sleeping for days.
"It's only twelve, midnight." Kurama relieved her of her worry, kneeling down to speak face-to-face.
Keiko could hear the music blasting from the next room; she turned her attention to the open door. "Close the door." She requested weakly. Kurama stood to shut the door and kneeled down to face Keiko once more, picking up a towel off the counter and offering it to her. Taking the towel from him she began wiping some of the sweat off her body, "Everyone is still here?"
"Plus four..." Kurama nodded.
"Four?" Keiko questioned in confusion.
"Yes, it seems Yusuke invited a few of our defeated opponents to our get- together."
"How long have they been here?"
"They arrived shortly after you returned from your run." Kurama joked.
"How long have I been in here?" Keiko whimpered.
"All together, a little bit over six hours," Kurama informed her, beginning to tidy up the bathroom by picking up the numerous wrappers and boxes of the particular feminine product.
The two remained silent as he proceeded to throw the litter in the trashcan, then he prepared a damp cloth for Keiko's face and forehead.
"Does Yusuke know?" He asked solemnly, leaning down and handing her the cloth.
Keiko's eyes glazed as she shook her head in dismay, and without warning let herself fall onto Kurama's shoulder as she began to cry uncontrollably.
Kurama, though he didn't expect such a reaction, allowed it and rubbed her back in an attempt to calm her down.
"No," she answered sobbing, "he has no idea."
"Well, you're going to have to tell him." Kurama stated as gently as he could.
"I know," she sniffled, wrapping her arms around Kurama's waist, "but you don't understand..."
"I understand Keiko, I know this is hard for you." He tried to speak words of comfort, hugging her as well.
"No," she pulled herself away from him, "You don't understand."
Kurama raised an eye-brow as Keiko continued speaking, "I'm pregnant.." she paused.
"Yes, we've established that." Kurama, struggling to not sound sarcastic, smiled reluctantly.
"It's not Yusuke's," she admitted out loud for the first time; it frightened her. This was real, she couldn't just pretend this was all a dream; this was her life and she was going to have to live with it.
An unfamiliar awkwardness floated in the air, Kurama couldn't find any words to describe how bewildered he felt at that moment. Though he didn't let it show, he found himself frozen, sitting there as he stared straight into her tan-brown eyes. He wasn't shaming her or looking down on her through his stare; thoughts of sympathy and confusion were the only things running through Kurama's mind. Though part of him was terribly curious how or when this happened, he knew better than to ask her.
"I see," Kurama broke the silence, "When do you plan on telling him?"
"I don't know." Keiko confessed honestly, letting her state of mind fall right back to imagining how Yusuke would take it.
Again she though, how would she explain herself?
What would she say?
"Do you plan on telling him Keiko?" Kurama rephrased his question.
"I don't want to tell him...if that's what you're asking." Keiko frowned, staring down at the floor; she appeared to be deep in thought.
"But I know I have to," she whispered, "Eventually."
"I think it would benefit the both of you the sooner he's made aware."
"Are you trying to give me advice? What Kurama? You want me to go out there right now and tell him?!" She sobbed bitterly, the revulsion she was bottling up against her own actions – she was taking out on Kurama.
"I want what's best for you Keiko, I'm not trying to force anything." He calmly pleaded.
"Why do you care?" She asked grimly.
Kurama shook his head, "Because I care about you, I've always been fond of you...since the day we met." He confessed truthfully, placing his hands on her shoulders.
Keiko bit her lip, feeling her body shiver as his cold hands touched her arms. Managing to crack a smile, "Will you help me break it to him?" She requested timidly, anyone could notice the fear in her eyes.
"You need to tell him Keiko," pausing his sentence, "I don't think Yusuke would approve of my finding out before him."
"Yeah, that's true." She agreed softly; Yusuke was sensitive about the oddest things, she knew somehow that would hurt his pride, and that was the last thing she wanted. He would already be upset as it was.
Kurama helped her off the ground as they both checked around the small room to make sure that they weren't leaving any evidence. No one else needed to find out for now.
I guess I have to tell him now.. right now? Oh God.. what if he hates me?
"What if he hates me?" She cried softly, looking up to meet Kurama's wise gaze.
Kurama wiped away her tears, "He could never hate you." He smiled, "If only you could hear the way he talks about you sometimes, he cares for you much more than you seem to realize."
Keiko hugged Kurama, clinging to him tightly to show her gratitude.
"Thank you Kurama." She whimpered.
Still not entirely used to being hugged by her, Kurama was unsure how to react- though he knew she the best of intentions by the embrace.
"Keiko, you don't plan on telling him right now...do you?" He questioned her behavior.
"The sooner he knows the better, right?" She quoted his words so to speak, faking a smile. Without another word or looking back, Keiko opened the door and walked out into the living room where all the party-going was in progress.
"Aye! Look who it is!" Chuu shouted, turning his and Touya's attention to Keiko.
Keiko smiled at the two of them, passing by and trying the best she could to ignore everyone until she found Yusuke.
"In'a bit of'a hurry, where's the fire lass?" Chuu laughed, grabbing Keiko's arm and pulling her back to converse with him.
She struggled to break loose from his grip as he just continued to laugh.
"Aww, what's ah'matter? Don't tell me you're shy!" Keiko cringed as the aroma of booze floated around their conversation; she could tell these guys were drunk.
"Please...I need to find Yusuke." She insisted that he let go of her and hastily walked away from them.
"Looks like she's not too fond of you," Touya smirked, patting Chuu on the shoulder and taking another swig of his beer. "Maybe it's the booze breath?"
Chuu frowned looking a tad disgusted, "Ahh, maybe it was your face!" He began laughing hysterically at his own joke.
Kurama stepped in front of the drunken pair, "Leave her alone." He advised coldly then walked away.
"Whooaa!" The two hollered, laughing and raising their hands in the air as if they were under arrest.
Keiko found Yusuke talking to Jin, the two were enjoying each other's company as usual. Making one another laugh and telling stories of old remembrance. She reluctantly began tapping him on the shoulder but he didn't respond.
"Yusuke?" She decided to speak up.
Still no response. Keiko had found new meaning to the term cold shoulder.
He obviously was ignoring her, she saw him turn his head when she first walked in the room. As his and Jin's conversation progressed she felt like she was a little girl in pigtails trying to get Yusuke and Jin to let her in their tree house. Her eyes filled with tears, she didn't deserve to be treated like this. Not yet at least.
It wasn't until Jin told Yusuke to turn around after noticing the poor girl crying silently as she stood right behind him, that Yusuke turned around to face her. Gently grabbing her hand and tugging her over near Jin and him, "Keiko?" he cooed sympathetically, "What's wrong?"
"I-I..." She struggled to speak clearly, choking on her tears.
"Hey, come'on now." Yusuke attempted to calm her down, rubbing her back and holding her close to him. "What is it?" He asked sympathetically, guilt in his tone.
"Just take a nice deep breath! You'll feel better!" Jin suggested cheerfully, placing a hand on her shoulder.
Taking a deep breath of frustration with herself, she managed to pop out the words: "I need t-to talk to you."
"Okay." Yusuke more than willingly agreed.
"Alone?" She requested apprehensively, drying her tears.
"Sure," Placing an arm around her shoulder, he winked at Jin and began leading her into Kuwabara's room. Jin nodded in response and headed over to Chuu and Touya.
"You might wanna close the door." Keiko advised nervously. Yusuke did as he was told and walked back to Keiko, rubbing the sides of her arms.
"-And you might want to sit down." She added with a sniffle. He sat down, holding tight to her hand and remaining silent; her behavior made him anxious to hear what she had to say. She sat down as well, taking another deep breath.
"Yusuke," she whispered lovingly, "What I have to tell you isn't easy for me to say." She squeezed his hand tighter.
"Umm, okay...where do I start?" She mumbled nervously.
"Yusuke do you remember that night we got into that big argument..." she stopped herself, "Of course you remember."
"Umm, well that night...after you left..." Stopping herself again, realizing what she was about to confess- she searched for another way to put it.
"Okay," she panted hastily, studying the passionate look Yusuke had in his eyes, he had an amazing passion for the life he was living now, and an even stronger one for those he called his friends. She was hoping to forever capture how looking into his eyes made her feel; the eyes of a boy who didn't have the burden of an unborn baby. She hated herself knowing she was about to forever steal that feeling from him.
Just say it Keiko.
"Yusuke, I'm pregnant." Somehow the second time hearing herself admit it felt worse than the first. She quickly turned her head away from him, trying her best to hide her shameful tears.
Yusuke's unseen reaction was letting his jaw drop and forgetting to blink as the words Keiko had just spoken repeated themselves like a never ending echo. Yusuke's state of shock felt like a dream; he felt numb to his current emotion. That was defiantly one of the last things he was expecting to hear her say.
He wanted to ask how, when, why...he wanted to shake his head in disbelief...he wanted to wake up in his bedroom and laugh at the dream he was currently in.
He didn't do any of those things, he couldn't. Instead, to Keiko's surprise, he gently pulled her closer to him and rapt her in his strong arms.
"Yusuke," she mumbled, realizing she had left out one important detail. Now she had to break to him that the child wasn't his. Obviously he thought it was, other wise why in the world would he be hugging her? But it wasn't as if she was expecting him to jump to the conclusion that it might not be. That was probably the farthest thing from Yusuke's mind right now.
You'd better say something.
The seconds passed as if they were minutes to Yusuke, but as he questioned his own doubt and regret he began realizing a familiar emotion. He didn't feel scared or worried; he wasn't angry or unhappy... In fact the more he thought about it, an unexplained feeling of happiness came over him.
"Listen, there's more to it..." Keiko muttered softly, breaking away from their hug.
Yusuke, though remaining silent and looking directly at her, seemed like he was hardly paying attention to whatever else came out of her mouth. He was still rapt up in his train of thought.
She noticed his eyes suddenly widen as if a bolt of lightening had just shocked his body.
"We have to tell everyone!" He exclaimed abruptly, sounding overly excited. Practically jumping off the bed- he pulled Keiko to her feet and dragged her out into the hallway; his destination: the living room.
"What? Yusuke! No!" She shouted crossly, "Yusuke, wait!"
But Keiko's spoken attempts to dig herself out of the hole she was creating proved futile as she found herself falling in deeper than before. Yusuke tugged her over to where he had spotted Jin, grinning ear-to-ear. "Jin!"
"Urameshi!" Jin greeted, "Get everything sorted out? I'm sure yah'did!" he winked, nudging Yusuke playfully in the chest.
Yusuke snickered, "Jin buddy, listen.." Yusuke requested with a smirk.
"Yusuke!" Keiko tugged at Yusuke's arm.
"Aye?" Jin nodded, "You sure must'a got things worked out seein' the way the lass is clingin' to yah! That or she's gone loopy an' is tryin' to do away with yah!"
"There wasn't much to work out," Yusuke grinned.
"Oh?" Jin's eyes got a sly, yet curious look in them, "Do fill me in then."
Keiko felt powerless; once again she was ignored for Jin. Once again she felt small and immobilized.
Upon noticing Yusuke and Keiko's re-entry, Kurama raised a brow to the blissful look on Yusuke's face. He glanced over at Keiko; she seemed frozen as she stood watching him and Jin converse.
"Oh no," Kurama whispered fretfully.
"She's pregnant." Yusuke whispered, seeming to beam with excite.
Jin's ears pointed up, almost jumping off the ground as reaction to the news.
"Who's pregnant?" Chuu shouted out as he stared looking puzzled over near Yusuke.
Suddenly everyone's attention was fixated on Chuu, and Chuu's attention was given to Yusuke.
"Keiko is!" Jin hollered back half way across the room, smirking like the idiot he was at times.
The room was filled with a timid silence as everyone's eyeballs looked as if they were about to fall out of their sockets. Botan hurried over to Keiko's side, "Keiko! When did this happen?" She exclaimed softly.
Keiko shifted her gaze around the room, watching as all her and Yusuke's friends gathered a crowd around them. Asking questions and giving their congratulations.
What just happened?
Keiko couldn't speak, she clenched her stomach and dropped to her knees; her vision began blurring.
"Keiko?" Botan questioned her behavior, concern in her tone.
Botan appeared the only one who noticed Keiko's unstable condition while everyone else grinned foolishly at Yusuke. Even Yusuke himself went without neither seeing nor caring of Keiko's feelings and otherwise wellbeing.
"I-I can't breathe.." Keiko murmured wide-eyed, relying on Botan as a support for keeping her balance.
"Keiko!" Botan shouted softly as Keiko lost consciousness. She lifted Keiko up and carried her as best she could to the bathroom.
-
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You guys don't seem to understand what 'feedback makes for faster updates' means.
...time had stopped, the entire world has frozen, and she was all alone with no other human soul to turn to.
She let her head drop between her knees as she sat with her legs spread. Her eyes glazed as all hope she had ever had for a future with Yusuke was slowly fading away.
She was pregnant with another man's child.
But that's not the thought that sickened her...it was that the child growing inside of her...wasn't Yusuke's.
It was a fact that couldn't be accepted, her worst fear at that moment was for that dream to have been real. She felt so dirty and guilty, dirty like she had been raped and guilty of allowing it to happen. She has betrayed Yusuke's trust. What would he think of her?
It made her sick to her stomach just thinking about it. She crawled over to the toilet, pulled her hair back and vomited out whatever she had left in her system.
How would he look at her? She didn't even want to look at herself; she was too ashamed to face her own reflection.
What would she say to him? He had to be told, she couldn't keep it from him for long. She wouldn't be able to keep it from anyone for long, eventually they would all find out.
Backing away from the toilet- she crawled over to lie down on the bathroom's downy rug. Curling up in a ball she hugged her knees, all she could hear aside from her train of thought were sounds of the water flushing down the pipes. She wished she could have just died there and waited for someone to come find her body. That way she would never have to let Yusuke know that she had been disloyal.
That way she would never have to see that look in his eyes, the look she knew that if she had to face would kill her. Maybe not physically, but her spirit would die.
Her eye twitched when she heard someone knocking on the door, "Hey Keiko, you are alright in there?" She recognized Shizuru's voice shouting.
"No," Keiko mumbled softly as she rolled onto her other side.
"Keiko?" She hollered, knocking a few more times.
"I'm fine!" She raised her voice loud enough for Shizuru to hear.
"You've been in there an awful long time," Shizuru continued, "Are you sick or something?"
"I'm fine!" Keiko repeated herself, a bit louder than before.
"Okay, if you need anything we're all in the next room."
Keiko shut her eyes tight as her hands covered her ears, silently making humming noises to block out anyone else who might check on her.
Scarcely rocking her body and forth as she lay on the bathroom's ground, resulting in her unintentionally falling asleep.
- -
Kuwabara couldn't sleep.
He'd been struggling with it all night, tossing and turning in his hotel room bed; he tried counting sheep among several other theoretical sleep techniques. None proved affective. He sat up and reached over for his watch, '1 AM...'
"God damn." Kuwabara mumbled irritably. He looked over to Koenma's bed which was being occupied by Yusuke- due to Koenma's lack of being in it.
Kuwabara got up off the bed and moved toward the door as quietly as he could, he didn't want to wake Yusuke. – Yusuke had told him about the fight he and Keiko had had, so he figured his pal could use some rest.
Avoiding the floor's squeaky boards as best he could, Kuwabara exited the room and made his way down the dark stairway.
Figuring a little food in his system would help him get to sleep; he reached his midnight snack destination down in the lobby of the hotel.
"Vending machines, gotta love'em!" Kuwabara whispered giddily to himself.
Upon putting his money in the slot and deciding on a particular snack, Kuwabara realized that he had failed to notice a piece of paper taped on the side of the device that read: 'Out of Order!'
"Mother fucker!" Kuwabara cursed softly as he began shaking the machine, and in one punch of frustration he forced all the candy bars on the bottom rack to come pouring out.
"That's what I thought!" He snickered silently as he collected the sweets off the lobby floor.
"Kazuma Kuwabara always has the last lau—" His sentence of self- congratulation was cut short when he noticed two figures out the window, exchanging words across the battle arena.
As he stepped closer to the window he could make out one of the figures to be female. But wait, short hair that uniform... But who the fuck was this other guy?
Something told him that he had to find out, and if his gut feeling proved right- he could go back to the room, wake up Yusuke and inform him that his girlfriend was out late with other men. He watched them from the lobby until they began walking into one of the rest halls, which is when he decided to get closer, running to the other side of the ring as fast as he could. By the time he had made it to the rest hall, neither Keiko nor the other man could be seen anywhere.
"Uhh, well that's weird." Kuwabara whispered, scratching the side of his face.
As he made his way further down the hallway he continued to hear noises, he couldn't make out what they were or where they were coming from exactly. But something told him to keep walking; so he did.
Approaching the end of the hallway, he was left with two choices; two doors to choose between.
Swearing he could hear the noises becoming clearer the closer he got to the door that read 'Storage Room', - he placed an ear to the door and made out the noises to be moans. Sounds like someone's havin' fun... It then occurred to Kuwabara that it more than likely was Keiko in there, and more than likely she was the one having fun.
Curiosity got the better of Kuwabara as he slowly cracked open the door, peeking inside to reveal Keiko and this strange man making love. Kuwabara's eyes widened and he quickly shut the door.
"That wasn't Urameshi..." Kuwabara acknowledged to himself. Part of Kuwabara wanted to barge in on them and break up the whole thing, but then something else told him to just stay out of it. She was Yusuke's girl, it was Yusuke's problem.
- -
"Keiko, wake up." A soft voice spoke.
Keiko was barely awake when her eyes fluttered open, "Mmm..." She moaned, letting know whoever was disturbing her that she was up.
"Keiko dear, are you alright?" The voice spoke again.
Her vision blurred as she got a glimpse of the bathroom's lights shining brightly, she was about to try and sit up but felt dizzy so decided just to lie there. As her sight returned she was able to make out who the voice belonged to, "Kurama?" Keiko sighed weakly.
Immediately sitting up from her place on the rug after realizing she had fallen asleep and left the used pregnancy tests lying everywhere, at first she couldn't even remember where she was.- How long had she been sleeping?
"What time is it?" She questioned worriedly, she felt as if she'd been sleeping for days.
"It's only twelve, midnight." Kurama relieved her of her worry, kneeling down to speak face-to-face.
Keiko could hear the music blasting from the next room; she turned her attention to the open door. "Close the door." She requested weakly. Kurama stood to shut the door and kneeled down to face Keiko once more, picking up a towel off the counter and offering it to her. Taking the towel from him she began wiping some of the sweat off her body, "Everyone is still here?"
"Plus four..." Kurama nodded.
"Four?" Keiko questioned in confusion.
"Yes, it seems Yusuke invited a few of our defeated opponents to our get- together."
"How long have they been here?"
"They arrived shortly after you returned from your run." Kurama joked.
"How long have I been in here?" Keiko whimpered.
"All together, a little bit over six hours," Kurama informed her, beginning to tidy up the bathroom by picking up the numerous wrappers and boxes of the particular feminine product.
The two remained silent as he proceeded to throw the litter in the trashcan, then he prepared a damp cloth for Keiko's face and forehead.
"Does Yusuke know?" He asked solemnly, leaning down and handing her the cloth.
Keiko's eyes glazed as she shook her head in dismay, and without warning let herself fall onto Kurama's shoulder as she began to cry uncontrollably.
Kurama, though he didn't expect such a reaction, allowed it and rubbed her back in an attempt to calm her down.
"No," she answered sobbing, "he has no idea."
"Well, you're going to have to tell him." Kurama stated as gently as he could.
"I know," she sniffled, wrapping her arms around Kurama's waist, "but you don't understand..."
"I understand Keiko, I know this is hard for you." He tried to speak words of comfort, hugging her as well.
"No," she pulled herself away from him, "You don't understand."
Kurama raised an eye-brow as Keiko continued speaking, "I'm pregnant.." she paused.
"Yes, we've established that." Kurama, struggling to not sound sarcastic, smiled reluctantly.
"It's not Yusuke's," she admitted out loud for the first time; it frightened her. This was real, she couldn't just pretend this was all a dream; this was her life and she was going to have to live with it.
An unfamiliar awkwardness floated in the air, Kurama couldn't find any words to describe how bewildered he felt at that moment. Though he didn't let it show, he found himself frozen, sitting there as he stared straight into her tan-brown eyes. He wasn't shaming her or looking down on her through his stare; thoughts of sympathy and confusion were the only things running through Kurama's mind. Though part of him was terribly curious how or when this happened, he knew better than to ask her.
"I see," Kurama broke the silence, "When do you plan on telling him?"
"I don't know." Keiko confessed honestly, letting her state of mind fall right back to imagining how Yusuke would take it.
Again she though, how would she explain herself?
What would she say?
"Do you plan on telling him Keiko?" Kurama rephrased his question.
"I don't want to tell him...if that's what you're asking." Keiko frowned, staring down at the floor; she appeared to be deep in thought.
"But I know I have to," she whispered, "Eventually."
"I think it would benefit the both of you the sooner he's made aware."
"Are you trying to give me advice? What Kurama? You want me to go out there right now and tell him?!" She sobbed bitterly, the revulsion she was bottling up against her own actions – she was taking out on Kurama.
"I want what's best for you Keiko, I'm not trying to force anything." He calmly pleaded.
"Why do you care?" She asked grimly.
Kurama shook his head, "Because I care about you, I've always been fond of you...since the day we met." He confessed truthfully, placing his hands on her shoulders.
Keiko bit her lip, feeling her body shiver as his cold hands touched her arms. Managing to crack a smile, "Will you help me break it to him?" She requested timidly, anyone could notice the fear in her eyes.
"You need to tell him Keiko," pausing his sentence, "I don't think Yusuke would approve of my finding out before him."
"Yeah, that's true." She agreed softly; Yusuke was sensitive about the oddest things, she knew somehow that would hurt his pride, and that was the last thing she wanted. He would already be upset as it was.
Kurama helped her off the ground as they both checked around the small room to make sure that they weren't leaving any evidence. No one else needed to find out for now.
I guess I have to tell him now.. right now? Oh God.. what if he hates me?
"What if he hates me?" She cried softly, looking up to meet Kurama's wise gaze.
Kurama wiped away her tears, "He could never hate you." He smiled, "If only you could hear the way he talks about you sometimes, he cares for you much more than you seem to realize."
Keiko hugged Kurama, clinging to him tightly to show her gratitude.
"Thank you Kurama." She whimpered.
Still not entirely used to being hugged by her, Kurama was unsure how to react- though he knew she the best of intentions by the embrace.
"Keiko, you don't plan on telling him right now...do you?" He questioned her behavior.
"The sooner he knows the better, right?" She quoted his words so to speak, faking a smile. Without another word or looking back, Keiko opened the door and walked out into the living room where all the party-going was in progress.
"Aye! Look who it is!" Chuu shouted, turning his and Touya's attention to Keiko.
Keiko smiled at the two of them, passing by and trying the best she could to ignore everyone until she found Yusuke.
"In'a bit of'a hurry, where's the fire lass?" Chuu laughed, grabbing Keiko's arm and pulling her back to converse with him.
She struggled to break loose from his grip as he just continued to laugh.
"Aww, what's ah'matter? Don't tell me you're shy!" Keiko cringed as the aroma of booze floated around their conversation; she could tell these guys were drunk.
"Please...I need to find Yusuke." She insisted that he let go of her and hastily walked away from them.
"Looks like she's not too fond of you," Touya smirked, patting Chuu on the shoulder and taking another swig of his beer. "Maybe it's the booze breath?"
Chuu frowned looking a tad disgusted, "Ahh, maybe it was your face!" He began laughing hysterically at his own joke.
Kurama stepped in front of the drunken pair, "Leave her alone." He advised coldly then walked away.
"Whooaa!" The two hollered, laughing and raising their hands in the air as if they were under arrest.
Keiko found Yusuke talking to Jin, the two were enjoying each other's company as usual. Making one another laugh and telling stories of old remembrance. She reluctantly began tapping him on the shoulder but he didn't respond.
"Yusuke?" She decided to speak up.
Still no response. Keiko had found new meaning to the term cold shoulder.
He obviously was ignoring her, she saw him turn his head when she first walked in the room. As his and Jin's conversation progressed she felt like she was a little girl in pigtails trying to get Yusuke and Jin to let her in their tree house. Her eyes filled with tears, she didn't deserve to be treated like this. Not yet at least.
It wasn't until Jin told Yusuke to turn around after noticing the poor girl crying silently as she stood right behind him, that Yusuke turned around to face her. Gently grabbing her hand and tugging her over near Jin and him, "Keiko?" he cooed sympathetically, "What's wrong?"
"I-I..." She struggled to speak clearly, choking on her tears.
"Hey, come'on now." Yusuke attempted to calm her down, rubbing her back and holding her close to him. "What is it?" He asked sympathetically, guilt in his tone.
"Just take a nice deep breath! You'll feel better!" Jin suggested cheerfully, placing a hand on her shoulder.
Taking a deep breath of frustration with herself, she managed to pop out the words: "I need t-to talk to you."
"Okay." Yusuke more than willingly agreed.
"Alone?" She requested apprehensively, drying her tears.
"Sure," Placing an arm around her shoulder, he winked at Jin and began leading her into Kuwabara's room. Jin nodded in response and headed over to Chuu and Touya.
"You might wanna close the door." Keiko advised nervously. Yusuke did as he was told and walked back to Keiko, rubbing the sides of her arms.
"-And you might want to sit down." She added with a sniffle. He sat down, holding tight to her hand and remaining silent; her behavior made him anxious to hear what she had to say. She sat down as well, taking another deep breath.
"Yusuke," she whispered lovingly, "What I have to tell you isn't easy for me to say." She squeezed his hand tighter.
"Umm, okay...where do I start?" She mumbled nervously.
"Yusuke do you remember that night we got into that big argument..." she stopped herself, "Of course you remember."
"Umm, well that night...after you left..." Stopping herself again, realizing what she was about to confess- she searched for another way to put it.
"Okay," she panted hastily, studying the passionate look Yusuke had in his eyes, he had an amazing passion for the life he was living now, and an even stronger one for those he called his friends. She was hoping to forever capture how looking into his eyes made her feel; the eyes of a boy who didn't have the burden of an unborn baby. She hated herself knowing she was about to forever steal that feeling from him.
Just say it Keiko.
"Yusuke, I'm pregnant." Somehow the second time hearing herself admit it felt worse than the first. She quickly turned her head away from him, trying her best to hide her shameful tears.
Yusuke's unseen reaction was letting his jaw drop and forgetting to blink as the words Keiko had just spoken repeated themselves like a never ending echo. Yusuke's state of shock felt like a dream; he felt numb to his current emotion. That was defiantly one of the last things he was expecting to hear her say.
He wanted to ask how, when, why...he wanted to shake his head in disbelief...he wanted to wake up in his bedroom and laugh at the dream he was currently in.
He didn't do any of those things, he couldn't. Instead, to Keiko's surprise, he gently pulled her closer to him and rapt her in his strong arms.
"Yusuke," she mumbled, realizing she had left out one important detail. Now she had to break to him that the child wasn't his. Obviously he thought it was, other wise why in the world would he be hugging her? But it wasn't as if she was expecting him to jump to the conclusion that it might not be. That was probably the farthest thing from Yusuke's mind right now.
You'd better say something.
The seconds passed as if they were minutes to Yusuke, but as he questioned his own doubt and regret he began realizing a familiar emotion. He didn't feel scared or worried; he wasn't angry or unhappy... In fact the more he thought about it, an unexplained feeling of happiness came over him.
"Listen, there's more to it..." Keiko muttered softly, breaking away from their hug.
Yusuke, though remaining silent and looking directly at her, seemed like he was hardly paying attention to whatever else came out of her mouth. He was still rapt up in his train of thought.
She noticed his eyes suddenly widen as if a bolt of lightening had just shocked his body.
"We have to tell everyone!" He exclaimed abruptly, sounding overly excited. Practically jumping off the bed- he pulled Keiko to her feet and dragged her out into the hallway; his destination: the living room.
"What? Yusuke! No!" She shouted crossly, "Yusuke, wait!"
But Keiko's spoken attempts to dig herself out of the hole she was creating proved futile as she found herself falling in deeper than before. Yusuke tugged her over to where he had spotted Jin, grinning ear-to-ear. "Jin!"
"Urameshi!" Jin greeted, "Get everything sorted out? I'm sure yah'did!" he winked, nudging Yusuke playfully in the chest.
Yusuke snickered, "Jin buddy, listen.." Yusuke requested with a smirk.
"Yusuke!" Keiko tugged at Yusuke's arm.
"Aye?" Jin nodded, "You sure must'a got things worked out seein' the way the lass is clingin' to yah! That or she's gone loopy an' is tryin' to do away with yah!"
"There wasn't much to work out," Yusuke grinned.
"Oh?" Jin's eyes got a sly, yet curious look in them, "Do fill me in then."
Keiko felt powerless; once again she was ignored for Jin. Once again she felt small and immobilized.
Upon noticing Yusuke and Keiko's re-entry, Kurama raised a brow to the blissful look on Yusuke's face. He glanced over at Keiko; she seemed frozen as she stood watching him and Jin converse.
"Oh no," Kurama whispered fretfully.
"She's pregnant." Yusuke whispered, seeming to beam with excite.
Jin's ears pointed up, almost jumping off the ground as reaction to the news.
"Who's pregnant?" Chuu shouted out as he stared looking puzzled over near Yusuke.
Suddenly everyone's attention was fixated on Chuu, and Chuu's attention was given to Yusuke.
"Keiko is!" Jin hollered back half way across the room, smirking like the idiot he was at times.
The room was filled with a timid silence as everyone's eyeballs looked as if they were about to fall out of their sockets. Botan hurried over to Keiko's side, "Keiko! When did this happen?" She exclaimed softly.
Keiko shifted her gaze around the room, watching as all her and Yusuke's friends gathered a crowd around them. Asking questions and giving their congratulations.
What just happened?
Keiko couldn't speak, she clenched her stomach and dropped to her knees; her vision began blurring.
"Keiko?" Botan questioned her behavior, concern in her tone.
Botan appeared the only one who noticed Keiko's unstable condition while everyone else grinned foolishly at Yusuke. Even Yusuke himself went without neither seeing nor caring of Keiko's feelings and otherwise wellbeing.
"I-I can't breathe.." Keiko murmured wide-eyed, relying on Botan as a support for keeping her balance.
"Keiko!" Botan shouted softly as Keiko lost consciousness. She lifted Keiko up and carried her as best she could to the bathroom.
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