February 11th, 2004
Meiou High School
Essay: 'The People I Admire Most'
I begin this paper by dedicating it to the one I adore, Hiei; my flying shadow, for he is the one I admire most in this world or any other. I write this from the depths of my soul, for unbiased eyes to judge, and I say with complete truth that I am a mere sketch of myself when he is not by my side. He is my everything, my completion. To look for centuries and find myself in this forbidden child, to find love, that is what has been done. We were fated for each other. For one who does not know Hiei let me state simply, that I am infinitely fortunate to have this treasure bare his heart to me. It is a blessing like no other...
Second but not lesser by any means, is the woman I, in all honesty, owe my life to. My dear mother, Shiori Minamino. The one who taught me what it truly meant to unconditionally love, where would I be without her? For you see, the happiness I have found today would not exist if it had not been for her guidance and care, bestowing the ability to feel compassion on me, her only son. Mother, you are my savior, for I know now the one thing I had been missing out on all along, I owe it all to you.
Hiei... when I hold you in my arms and stare into your crimson eyes I see everything that makes my life worth living. My love and admiration for you is beyond explanation, it cannot be put into words. Your guarded silence speaks volumes, words that only I can hear. Just with a look, a touch, you can tell me so much, and I thank you for it. It is said that if you love something, you must set it free, and if it is yours it will return to you. I have never tried to possess you, never tried to keep you by me, but you remain nonetheless. You are as free and wild as the night itself, but you make the choice to bring me close to you. You proved to me that your motives are pure by giving me the gift I now wear around my finger, a ring. It is most precious to me, not because it is beautiful or crafted from gold, no, but because of what it represents. It is your love and devotion, a gift more valuable than any treasure. The most priceless gift of all from one who has pushed nearly all others away, thrown up walls of fire and ice to keep his true self hidden. You lowered the walls and let me step through, and now I remain. I remain as long as you will allow, and deep down I know that you need me by you forever. I, in turn, need you. You are a kindred spirit, someone I can divulge all my secrets to and tell my innermost thoughts. Circumstances and feelings that would take a lifetime to explain to another, you understand and accept without question. And I accept you, I take the good with the bad. I love the whole of you, everything in your past is what makes up who you are. Though some may reject you, you can always come to me. Bring me your hardships and your sadness and I will kiss it all away, my fiery love.
Mother, life giver, allow me to start by thanking you. You have provided me with everything and asked for nothing in return. My debt to you can never be repaid by any actions or words, all I can do is love and respect you with every fiber of my being. All that I have learned, all that I can be proud of today is a result of your guidance and care. When I was born into this world I knew nothing of love or sensitivity, knew nothing of how to treat other people with sincerity or kindness. A helpless baby, you held me in your arms and took me into your heart. You watched over me each step of the way, never caring when I failed to appreciate what I had. But now, after your years of looking after me and making sure I was happy, I understand. I understand what it means to love someone and expect nothing back from them, to love for the pure sake of loving. Taking in all the joy it brings to see that person alive and happy, it is a wonderful sensation. Now I have found a partner to care for, and I can be the best I can for him, all because of you. My mother, the one who tucked me in at night, held me when I was crying and kissed away every scrape and bruise. What is even more incredible though, is you did it all yourself. A woman alone, you raised a child, and a difficult one to raise, I'm sure... but you did an incredible job. You have such strength and such devotion, your skill as a parent is unmatched in my eyes. When you fell ill, I finally realized what I had been given, and how I had been failing to be thankful for such a blessing. Just when I began to understand the love you had been giving me my whole life, it appeared you would be taken away from me. Must I mourn the loss of the woman who has given me so much? Who has worked tirelessly to insure my happiness while ignoring her own? But somehow, through circumstances I still cannot completely understand, my prayers to grant you life were answered. Now, I have you with me, mother, and I will do what I can to love you as you have loved me for so long.
Now I have bared my soul, and put on display this affection I hold most dear. But though it is greatly valued and close to my heart I have no reason to hide these feelings, no shame. This love for my two most admired people is an important part of me. Perhaps the most important... I would not be the man I am today if it were not for these two and the connection I have with them. They are my life, and so I have taken pen to paper and poured out all my emotions, arranged them and put them on display for all to see. To let everyone know this devotion is real. My mother and my sweet lover Hiei, you are my world. I would not and could not ever leave you. I shall be by your side as long as I am able, as long as I have breath. You can rely on me, for I will return all that you have given me by living each day for you. This is my tribute, my promise that my love is true. I know you ask for nothing but the assurance that I will be there, and though I give it willingly, I still am forever in your debt. Mother, Hiei, I love you with all that I am.