Chapter Twenty-Seven – Just the Beginning!

Rating: R

Warning: May eventually, contain slash

Category: Humor/Romance

Summary: Hermione undergoes a change in thinking and is determined to enjoy her last year to the fullest. Wacky hi jinks and craziness ensue leading to a list of amusing new rules for her, friendships with slytherins, and romance. This is my first attempt at any kind of fiction so please be kind. Constructive criticism is wanted, flames will be ignored. Hermione is a little OOC because of her change in thinking.

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns the Harry Potter Universe and all its characters; I am just playing with them for a bit. There may be slash as I said so you have been warned. I got the basic Idea for this story from the list 213 things Skippy is no longer allowed to do in the army. I stole some of those things on the list as I could just hear them being said in the HP universe. Oh yeah and I do not own DR Seuss stuff either. I am just borrowing it for fun.

I want to thank everyone who reviewed. I wouldn't have finished this at all without that encouragement.

I want to especially thank Feline, Lil pixie, lgobgirlie15, and once again Gelsey, for keeping me going. ;-)

And now on to Chapter 27!

It was finally graduation day for the 7th year Hogwarts students. Professor Dumbledore addressed the Great Hall filled with Parents and students alike. Mione could not believe this day was finally here. It had been an amazing year and she'd done just as well on her Newts as she always thought she would even with her laying off the studying so much. As was expected by everyone but her she was the schools valedictorian and she smiled to herself as she thought of the speech she was about to make. Nobody was going to be able to say she didn't go out with a bang. She had come into Hogwarts a lamb and she was leaving a proud lioness. She looked around at her fellow students and was glad for the new friendships she'd made this year and the new experiences and adventures she had had. She was going to miss it all. But that was life she thought as Professor Dumbledore called her name to give her speech.

"Good morning parents, students, and staff of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Romper Bomper Stomper Boo!" Mione turned to walk off the stage and was leveled a stern look from Professor McGonagle. She turned back to the audience with a smile.

"Seriously folks it has been a long and exciting 7 years here. I've learned, grown, lived, and loved within these halls. I was going to give the traditional graduation speech about how we've learned enough and now it was time to go out into the world and use what we've learned but I figured we all know that anyway don't we?"

She stopped for a moment to look out over the smiles and nodding heads.

"So rather than go on and on about what we're going to do I thought I would spend a little time warning the students still here. Most of you know of me and except for the 1st years this year know that up until this year I spent most of my time in the library. This year I decided to relax and enjoy the last year of my childhood. They say that these are the best years of your life and I didn't want to look back and remember nothing but studying, studying and more studying. In my quest for fun I decided I was going to end up in the unofficial Hogwarts students book that is passed down year after year. I can say I far surpassed my goal. I not only stole from the amazing Weasley Twins the school record for most detentions in a year but I created the most new school rules ever instituted in one year. So I thought I would take the time that most valedictorians drone on and on about that bright new world and how we're all adults now to go over these new rules for the students still here. We wouldn't want anyone else to get in trouble now would we?" Mione said with a mischievous smile.

"Without any further ado, here we are.

1. Not allowed to chew on a sugar quill in potions, unless I brought enough for everybody.

I expected that. Good thing I brought enough for everyone.

2. (Five minutes later) Not allowed to chew on a sugar quill in potions even if I did bring enough for everybody.

I didn't expect that. I guess no teacher ever thought someone would be so generous?

3. Inflatable sheep do not need to be displayed during a bed check.

When do they need to be displayed then? And just what is so wrong with Seymore?" She huffed.

4. "Must never call a professor a "Wanker".

Pretty self explanatory that one.

5. Pokemon Trainer is NOT a legitimate career

But if I have my way it will be. I just may steal Hagrid away to start that goal." Mione smiled at Hagrid.

6. "The proper response to an order is not "Why?"

Uh, Why not?

7. Not allowed to quote Southpark when I'm supposed to be working.

Don't let this fool you. I can almost guarantee that they won't let you quote Southpark even when your not supposed to be working either.

8. There is no such thing as a were-virgin.

I'd suggest never ever forgetting this when speaking to Professor Lupin.

9. Not allowed to operate a business out of the Slytherin Common Room.

But it was a really really Slytherin idea.

10. Not even an especially slytherin business.

Rats foiled again.

11. Vodka, green food coloring, and a "Cool Mint" Listerine® bottle is not a good combination.

Trust me on this one. Not good.

12. "I'm drunk" is a bad answer to any question posed by my Professor.

Is there ever a time when this is a good answer?

13. Our nurse is called "Madame Pompfrey", not "Dr. Feelgood".

But, But, Butt, she gave me potions that made me feel good.

14. The following words and phrases may not be used in any essay - Budding sexuality, necrophilia, I hate everyone in this school and wish they were dead, sexual lubrication, Tantric yoga, slut puppy, or any references to squid.

I really don't hate everyone in this school. I was just angry.

15. Must not refer to any professor as "Mom".

Especially when they are standing on a pile of books 5 feet in the air. Smiling apologetically at Professor Flitwick.

16. may not call any professors immoral, untrustworthy, lying, slime, even if I'm right.

The truth shall not set you free in this instance. Just get's you more detentions.

17. I cannot trade any Professor to the Death Eater's.

Or any other evil group.

18. Not allowed to add pictures of professors I don't like to War Criminal posters

And whoever did was wrong, wrong I tell you, just wrong!" Mione looked around innocently.

19. "Seamus is not after "Me frosted lucky charms".

So the professors say, yes he is says I.

20. God may not contradict any professor's orders.

I have my reservations about that. Can we say religious discrimination? Hmmm?

21. Not allowed to title any essay "Get Over it".

I know for someone smart enough there's a way around this.

22. Not allowed to quote "Dr Seuss" in school ever.

And it's really hard not to quote anything but him all day long.

23. Must not start any essay with "I recently had an experience I just had to write you about..."

I'm not sure if this rule is really about the beginning of that essay or about how I went on to explain this very dirty dream I had in the essay.

24. My proper name is "Hermione Granger or Miss Granger" not "She who must not be named".

So in other words kiddies, No nicknames allowed. Oh yeah and no mocking and imitating a dead dark lord to annoy your best friend.

25. May not bring Peeves to any school function.

Poor Peeves. He's always so left out. He really was a good escort.

26. Past lives have absolutely no effect on my homework.

But they sure had an effect on Professor Binns. Wonder who the new History of Magic teacher will be next year?

27. My professor is not interested in why I "just happen" to have a kilt, an inflatable sheep, and a box of rubber bands in my backpack.

It's a good thing then I didn't have anything hidden in those things I shouldn't have eh?

28. Not allowed to add "In accordance with the prophesy" to the end of answers I give to a question a professor asks me unless it truly is part of a prophesy. And then it must not be part of a secret prophesy.

But it could have been in accordance with a prophesy. It's not like M.O.M. tells us the prophesies, in accordance with the prophesy." Mione shoots a unabashed grin at the teachers.

29. "Do not dare 1st years to eat bugs. They will always do it.

Sad but true.

30. A smiley face is not used to mark a poison.

But it was such a good poison, happy to do its duty.

31. Not allowed to sell magic beans to any student.

And it was so lucrative.

32. I am not allowed to sing "Henry the VIII I am" until verse 68 ever again.

The fact that I was able to get to verse 68 at all still astounds me. Professor Lupin has amazing patience.

33. Not allowed to play "Pulp Fiction" with a suction-cup dart pistol and any Professor.

Especially Professor Snape!!!

34. Crucifixes do not ward off professor Snape, and I should not test that.

If you remember nothing else, remember this. Trust me.

35. Not allowed to greet any Professor with "Gryffindor's rule Slytherins Dro, er sorry"

Especially the head of Slytherin!

36. May not challenge professors to "Meet me on the field of honor, at dawn".

Not even when they deserve it. pffft

37. Putting red "Mike and Ike's" ® into a prescription medicine bottle, and then eating them all in class is not funny.

But it sure is a good revenge.

38. The proper way to report to my Professor is "Hermione Granger, reporting as ordered, Sir" not "You can't prove a thing!"

Well he couldn't.

39. When detained by Professor Snape, I do not have a right to a strip search.

Ha, that's what you think. I do! But nobody else does!!!

40. Not allowed to my soul on school time.

But Gryffindor's may on their own time. Guess who that rule came from?

41. Not allowed to form any militia.

It was just a small one. Besides what about Dumbledore's Army then huh? That was ok wasn't it? Pfffttt.

42. Not allowed to let sock puppets take responsibility for any of my actions.

Nor apparently take your place in class. Even if they are charmed to take notes for you.

43. Our Potions Master is "Professor Snape" not "The Candy Man.

Hmm you know I think this is right. It's Professor Dumbledore that's the Candy Man. Specializing in Lemon Drops. Haha.

44. Not allowed to ask for the day off due to religious purposes, on the basis that the world is going to end, more than once.

But it does work once.

45. It is better to beg forgiveness than to ask permission, no longer applies to Hermione Granger.

Well that's no fun.

46. "Teddy Bear, Teddy bear, turn around" is not a spell.

Then why did my cup turn into a teddy bear ballerina when I said it? Hmmmm?

47. If the thought of something makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.

Life is going to be very dull indeed. At least they still allow me to think of it.

48. When asked to give a few words at a ceremony "Romper Bomper Stomper Boo" is probably not appropriate.

I guess only the headmaster can get away with something like that.

49. I am not allowed to mount a bayonet on my wand.

What? It was a time saver in Potions.

50. I cannot expell children for being annoying and rude.

Apparently I don't have the authority to expel anyone but even if I had no one can be expelled for being rude. That would explain why Dray lasted 7 years."

Mione shot an unrepentant grin to Dray.

51. "Transfigurations is probably not the best place to unveil my newest off color joke.

No probably about it. I can still taste that soap.

52. "Shpadoinkle" is not a real word.

Neither was any other word until someone made it up.

53. Shouting "burn, pillage, and plunder!" while wearing dark hooded robes walking to Hogsmeade is bad.

It's very bad. No playing Pirate or you just might be hanged.

54. The revolution is not now.

Then when is it?

55. Any device that can crawl across the table on medium does not need to be brought into the classroom.

It doesn't need to be but what if it wants to be brought in?

56. When operating a school broom I may not attempt something "I saw in a cartoon".

For my own safety of course. I didn't break much. Sheesh.

57. I am not the Empress of anything.

Hah! Just wait until I'm crowned.

58. The proper response to a professor is not "That's what you think".

59. Not allowed to lead a "Coup" during Potions.

When are we allowed to then? I told Professor Snape the revolution was now. He should have believed me.

Well that's it. All the new rules that were I inspired. Leaving Hogwarts I take pride in the many accomplishments I have achieved here. When I look back in my later years having the record for the most school rules created due to me during any school year will make me smile just as much as my perfect NEWT scores.

Here at Hogwarts I learned more than just Magic and book learning. I learned to live and enjoy life and relax a bit, about fun and friendships, about punishment (grin), but most of all I learned about Love. You better start running Severus, but I guarnetee you won't get far.

I raise my hat to Hogwarts! May it teach you as much as it has taught me."

Mione turned and stepped down from the podium to a deafening roar of the crowd. She looked out over her smiling friends and classmates as they started to receive their diplomas from the Headmaster. She laughed as they all threw their hats in the air and shot spells up into the air after everyone had received their scrolls pronouncing them official graduates of Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And she melted as Severus wrapped his arms around her and kissed her in front of all. She realized that this wasn't the end, just a beginning.

The End!