Beware of Geeks Bearing Presents
Summary: A sequel to Poetic Injustice. A bit of fluff – Sara and Grissom want to repair their friendship. Greg wants Sara. Ecklie wants the Red Creeper. Catherine wants a night off. And a mystery man from Sara's past is back.
Rating: PG to be on the safe side.
A/N: Probably a good idea to read Poetic Injustice first, but I think you can follow this story if you don't. Spoilers for Unfriendly Skies. Thanks to Burked and Ann for beta-ing this chapter.
Disclaimer: If I had even a fraction of a percent of the rights to CSI would I be writing fan fiction? Well, yeah, probably, but that doesn't change the fact I own nothing to do with the show.
Chapter 13
After shutting her locker door, Sara rested her head against the cool metal as she tried to calm down. Recalling her earlier excitable exchange with an extremely exasperating Ecklie, she exhaled exhaustively, expanding into an explosion of explicit expletives as she explored exotic avenues of exterminating through exsanguination the exploiting extortionist who threatened to expose their exuberant extramarital affair to their exacting executives.
Ecklie had found her examining evidence in the Drying Room at the end of shift. After exchanging fake pleasantries, he launched into a very reasoned explanation of why it would benefit the entire lab by having the formula for Red Creeper available.
Sara actually found herself swayed by some of his points until he threw out that neither she nor Grissom may be employed much longer if Cavallo found out about their relationship. The conversation had gone downhill from there.
If the formula had been hers to give away, and if she thought it would keep Ecklie at bay, she would have carved it into his hide on the spot. But she knew that giving into a blackmailer only encouraged them to make more demands. Besides, the guy was really starting to piss her off.
With a frustrated growl, she went to look for Grissom. It had taken them too damn long to get together. She wasn't going to let anything – or anyone – get in their way. She hoped Grissom felt the same way; he was almost painfully private. Ecklie's threat would be hard on him.
Walking into his office, Sara stopped short, staring incredulously at Catherine. Her coworker lay on the floor near his shelves, limbs akimbo.
"Yoga?" Sara asked hesitantly.
"Trying to get Grissom's damned snake back in a container," she snapped.
"Why would you want to handle Grissom's snake?"
"Think I should be asking you that," Catherine said, brushing her hands off as she sat up. Seeing Sara's shocked expression, she grinned. "Oh, relax. Everyone knows."
"I know. That's the problem. Seen Grissom?"
"Sheriff called him into a meeting. You okay?"
"Yeah," Sara answered, turning to leave. "Hey, Cath. If you turn up the air and put out a heating pad, the snake will come to it."
When Catherine began swearing extensively, Sara quickly left the room.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Archie took a solemn sip of his coffee and shared a concerned look with Jacqui. "What do you think?"
"I say the Sphere."
"I don't know. I was thinking maybe Circus Circus."
"Isn't that a little … silly?" she asked. "I know it's for Greg, but still."
"What's for Greg?" Hodges asked as he entered the break room.
"Trying to figure out where to have his going away party."
"Sara found out?"
"No," Archie said, frowning first at Hodge's happy tone of voice, then his disappointed look.
"Worse," Jacqui added. "Grissom found out."
"Don't waste your time planning a party," Hodges smirked as he left the room. "You need a wake."
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Grissom waved Sara in as she tentatively opened his door. Catherine had left him a message that she had been upset. After his meeting, he'd invited her to his townhouse for breakfast, telling her to see herself in. Pointing to a waiting mug off coffee, he gave Sara a smile.
"Thanks," she said, leaning against the counter.
"You're welcome. What do you feel like?"
"Like I'm playing hooky."
"I meant for your omelet," he said, pointing out various vegetables with his knife.
"Anything," she answered with a vague hand wave. "People are noticing that I'm not working all the time."
"You sound disappointed," he said with a playful pout, hoping to lift her spirits.
"Not on my end."
When he saw her smile never reached her eyes, Grissom slid off of his stool. He slowly hopped around the breakfast bar, finally wrapping one arm around her while he braced the other on the counter. Leaning forward, he brushed his lips lightly against hers.
"Don't worry about Ecklie."
"I can't help it," she sighed, wrapping her arms around his waist to help him balance. "This … what we have now … it's so good. I don't want anything to screw this up."
"Nothing will."
"You sound awfully confident."
"I am," Grissom stated. "Trust me."
"I'll try," she sighed heavily, resting her head on his shoulder.
"I know I told you that you didn't have to stroke my ego, but have some pity."
Sara chuckled before lifting her head and giving him a quick kiss. She tightened her hold when he had to shift to regain his balance.
"Go sit down. I'll fix breakfast."
"I can still do that much," Grissom huffed, embarrassed about nearly losing his balance while trying to comfort Sara.
"You can do a lot of things. Very well. So save your strength for later."
Grissom gave her a grateful smile and a lingering kiss. "I knew there was a reason I loved you."
Her bad mood evaporating, Sara flashed him a one of her patented toothy smiles. "Just one reason?"
"I'm sure there're others."
"Going to share?"
"Maybe."
"I can make it worth your while," she whispered conspiratorially, letting a finger trace down the front of his shirt.
"In that case," Grissom said eagerly. "How to approach this? They're hard to quantify, so I can't list them in order of importance. Would alphabetically suffice?"
"You come up with something that starts with an 'x', and I'll really make it worth your while."
"Xenogenetic," he answered immediately, causing Sara to laugh.
"You've never met my parents. You don't know that I'm completely different from them. Any why would that be a reason to love me if it were true?"
"You're xerophilous," Grissom continued, winking as he bypassed her question.
"I am? And that's a good thing?"
"You can look it up later. Go fix breakfast," he said, breaking off contact to hop to a stool. "We need to get up early tonight."
"What's up?"
"It's a surprise."
"Going to work on more bug suicides?" she asked as she went to retrieve the eggs.
"It's with bugs, but not fake suicides. I think I covered all the possible ones."
"Drowned water bug. Bagworm suffocated. A jumping…"
"You're scary," Grissom interrupted.
"That's 'x' and 's'. Get 24 more, and you'll get your treat."
Grissom sipped his juice slowly, mentally creating an amorous alphabetic adjective listing, pausing when he got to 'g'. "Before I forget, we need to have a little chat about Greg."
Catherine walked slowly into her bathroom, visions of steamy clouds enveloping her tired muscles. She started the water running, testing it to make sure it was the perfect temperature before she began stripping. She frowned at the pain; with all the practice she had taking her clothes off, she figured it would be the easiest part of her day.
She'd finally finished all of the paperwork, hauled box loads of insect-stained forms to recycling, straightened Grissom's office, and her maternal nature made her go over everything with a disinfectant. She even managed to lure the snake out. Plans of using it as a garrote died quickly; the stupid thing had managed to give her a forlorn expression.
Instead, Catherine left it in Grissom's boot for safekeeping. If she felt like it later, she'd even call him to let him know it was in there.
She smiled in anticipation as she stepped into the shower, yelping when the ice cold water pelted her skin. Sputtering, she grabbed the dial, swearing loudly when it broke off in her hand. Grabbing a towel, she went to get the phone book, wondering how much a new hot water heater would cost.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
"Grissom," he answered sleepily, wrapping his free arm around Sara as she snuggled against him. "What happened? …. I see … Where? … You don't say … Who, me? … Now?…
Well, I'm in bed … Okay, be there in a little while."
"Bugs?"
"As a matter of fact, yes it is," he said, leaning in closer. "You're coming with me."
"Okay."
Grissom cocked his head in amazement. Sara really was open to suggestions when she first woke up. She hadn't even questioned how he knew this case would be coming, or why they were going together.
After a shower and sufficient caffeine, Sara pointed out it would look suspicious if they arrived together at the scene. Grissom merely looked over at her as she drove towards the lab, smiling slyly. Her confusion rose when he directed her to park near Ecklie, who had his car trunk open.
"Real subtle," Ecklie sneered as they walked over.
"Good evening, Conrad. What's the trouble?"
"You know damn well what the trouble is!"
"Looks like you brought back a visitor with you when you went to Puerto Rico," Grissom said as he picked up a very colorful, very large roach from the car trunk. It was one of several crawling around the interior.
"That's huge," Sara added unnecessarily.
"It's still immature."
"Get rid of it now, or by god, I'll…"
"I'm off-duty. This isn't work-related. If that's the way you're going to be…"
"You wouldn't dare," Ecklie hissed.
"Don't talk to me about what you wouldn't dare," Grissom said lowly.
"Fine. You win. Fix this!"
Sara had followed the exchange with a baffled expression on her face, raising an eyebrow when Grissom slowly smiled at Ecklie's retreating back.
"What the hell was that all about?"
"Hand me some sample jars."
"You going to keep these guys?"
"Of course," he said enthusiastically. "Wait until you see what he's like when he's full-grown."
"Is this an entomologist thing, or a guy entomologist thing? You know, being impressed by big … bugs."
"The bigger, the better."
"I'll go to the pet store. You'll need a new habitat," Sara offered, pausing when Grissom gave her a disappointed look over his glasses. "You have a new habitat. You knew this was going to happen. You did this."
"I told you I'd take care of things."
"Wait, I don't get it. Ecklie's afraid of bugs?"
"No, his daughter is. Has been for years. I thought she'd like the chance to play with my tarantula," Grissom said, clearly puzzled that the little girl had screamed when he placed the hairy spider on her shoulder. "Anyway, he won't bother us now."
"You planned on terrorizing his little girl to get him to leave us alone?" Sara asked in disbelief.
"I knew he'd call me. He always puts his briefcase in the trunk. The bugs weren't going to move from there," he said, startled by Sara's look. "It's not like they bite."
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
"Okay, watch what I'm doing. I'll let you finish the rest of them," Sara told Greg as she laid out the film used by the electronic footprint lifter. He'd been overly-excited when she told him he could tag along on her case at the start of shift. Grissom had agreed to let her handle Greg on her own. "Make sure you work out all the bubbles."
"Right. Avoid a void," he quipped, dazed by the smile she flashed him. He knew it was only a matter of time before she came to her senses.
"Yeah. Very witty, Greg."
"Of course I am. It's just one of my many assets."
"Really?"
"But of course! I know how to treat a lady right. That takes class, suave, savoir faire, excellent taste in music and wine,…"
"Sounds like you're the real lady killer."
"I am," he said dramatically. "But I'm not impressed by every filly that passes the gate."
"Picky in the women you like?" Sara asked, smiling broadly as she watched him work the next print.
"Oh, definitely. Needs to be intelligent, cool, witty, and a hot looker. That's what I look for in my women."
"Same here," she said evenly, suppressing her smile when Greg choked.
"You like that in…"
"My women," Sara confided, nodding her head.
"You're … you're not…"
"Don't tell, okay? You know how some people get with that type of stuff," Sara said, biting the inside of her lip to stop from laughing at Greg's stammering.
"Hank," he eventually managed to get out.
"It's not his fault he got stuck in a guy's body."
"You mean, wait, Hank was, but, then he, what?"
"He looked so cute in his dresses," Sara sighed. "I have pictures. I can bring them in if you want to see them."
Greg shook his head dramatically. Warrick had already warned him to stay away from any pictures Sara or Catherine tried to show him.
"You know, I could wear a dress," Greg confessed after a while.
"It just wouldn't be the same. I know you're a real guy's guy," Sara said apologetically, giving him a friendly grin.
"Not literally! Okay. It was worth a shot," he sighed wistfully as he moved to the next print. "Say, have you and Cath ever … stop … don't … I was only joking!"
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Sara smiled as she walked into the living room, seeing Grissom asleep on the couch with a book resting on his chest. He'd had a doctor's appointment in the morning and said he needed to run some errands. She had a warrant to execute on their café shooting. Before he left, he slipped her a key to his townhouse, telling her to make herself at home if she got there before he did.
Kicking off her shoes, she grabbed a bottle of water, enjoying the sight of him sleeping on the couch. She knew from experience that the couch wasn't the most comfortable, so she decided to wake him up to head to bed. Crossing the room, she paused when she saw the title of the book.
Sitting on the coffee table, she picked it up slowly, being careful not to disrupt his arm. After staring at the cover for a moment, Sara finally looked at the page he'd been reading, setting the book down quickly.
"You weren't supposed to see that," Grissom admitted sleepily, sitting up and holding his hand out to Sara. When she placed the book in his hand, he set it on the couch, then pulled her so she was sitting on his lap.
"What are you doing with something like that?" Sara asked softly, confusion clearly written on her features.
"I want to make sure you're never disappointed," he said, nodding to the copy of A Man's Guide to Pleasuring Your Partner Every Time.
"Grissom, you really didn't have to do that," Sara exclaimed, shaking her head when he reached over to pick the book up. She placed one hand on the back of his neck, lightly running her fingers through the soft curls there. The thought was nice, but a sex book? What exactly did he expect them to do?
"It's very informative," he started, not noticing her embarrassed look as he opened the book to the first section of photographs.
Sara rolled her eyes as she went to look at the photographs. After everything they'd seen on the job, how bad could this be? Seriously, though, the thought of Grissom doing … wow. That looked … wow.
Grissom paused when he noticed her fingers clenching his hair tighter. Following her eyes, he raised an eyebrow at the photo that seemed to hold her attention. He'd skimmed over that section; he made a mental note to go back and read it more closely.
Sara licked her lips and reached out to flip through the pages. If Grissom had gone to all this trouble, the least she could do was go along with it. She paused at one picture, tilting her head in confusion.
Grissom watched as she started to turn the book slightly to one side, then the other. He looked back down and nodded. "I couldn't figure that one out myself," he admitted.
"We can get back to it later," Sara said hoarsely, flipping through more pages. "We'll have to wait until your cast is off before trying that. If you want to," she said, noticing his nervous expression at what looked like a very precarious position.
"I want to," he replied, clearing his own gravelly voice. Grissom gave himself a mental kick. Sara had to have noticed his reaction to this by now. He smiled as she skimmed through other parts of the book. He'd been nervous that she'd find the book too risqué, but Sara seemed enthused.
Or at least she had.
"No way," she stated, shaking her head for added effect as she flipped through one part of the book quickly.
"What?" he asked, bending over to see what had prompted this reaction.
"All of Chapter 14 is out. Not going to happen."
"But…"
"No butt!"
"Oh," he sighed.
Sara closed the book and looked at Grissom, confused by his disappointed expression. "You don't actually like that, do you?"
"I've never tried it before."
"You can find someone else to try that with," she said petulantly.
"Then I'll never try it. I have no interest in anyone else," he said, running a finger along her jaw line.
Sara nuzzled against his neck, planting a line of kisses on the sensitive flesh, slowly making her way to his lips.
"Where did you find that book anyway?"
"Las Vegas has a number of shops that specialize in that type of material."
"And you went in one?" Sara asked, smiling at him.
"Of course."
"What would you have done if you ran into someone you knew there?"
"They'd be in the same situation."
"But what would you have told them?" Sara teased.
"Research," Grissom said as if it was obvious, causing Sara to sit up straight in his lap and give him an odd look.
"I've seen your experiments. I think I should be worried."
"Smart ass," he muttered.
"I thought we already ruled that out," Sara said, shifting so she was resting her head on his shoulder again. "Did you notice if they had a version of this book for women to please their partners?"
"I think that's Chapter 14," Grissom teased, working the tail of Sara's shirt out of her jeans.
"Not going to happen."
"You asked," he said, running his fingertips in small circles over the soft skin of her back.
"Guess I'll have to think of something on my own," she replied, getting off of him and making her way to the bedroom.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Grissom looked up as Greg bounded into his office at the start of the next shift, frowning as the tech came to a screeching stop in front of his desk.
"Are those the results I asked for?" Grissom asked slowly.
"Guh."
"Is that a positive 'guh' or a negative 'guh'?"
"Ot."
"Did you hit your head, Greg?"
"Gah."
Grissom got up from his desk, and hobbled around to take the folder from the shell-shocked younger man. "Did you talk to Sara yet?"
"Hipbahra."
"I'll take that as a 'yes'," Grissom said dryly as Greg stared at his desk. Sara had said she'd take care of everything; all he needed to do was let her leave a catalogue on his desk. Seeing Greg's fascinated and frightened stare, Grissom began to think he'd been set up as well.
"Go back to your lab," he ordered, looking back on his desk. Seeing the catalogue was for a dress company, he picked it up, and went looking for Sara. Finding her in the break room, he held out the offending flyer, a questioning look on his face.
Sara gave him a smirk, shrugging apologetically as she went to retrieve it. She didn't think Grissom would get upset by her plan. Well, she knew ways to make it up to him. If all else failed, there always was Chapter 14.
The End