Severus Snape - Master Chef
by Barbi Bee
A/n 1: the characters are not mine they are merely borrowed
A/n 2: this story is in answer to a WIKTT challenge to have Severus Snape dressed in drag (women's clothing)
A/n 3: Rules and basics of the challenge completed since chapter 3
3) She must travel with him dressed in disguise/ drag through Diagon Alley.
Optional:
1) Albus knowing about the cross dressing.
Extra Points:
5) Hermione, drunk singing Karaoke.
6) Another extra point if she is in a bar singing to Severus while he's in drag.
11) The use of one or more of these lines:
"So you want to see my wand?"
A/n 4: to Imhilien - the idea of Sev on a motorbike came from 'Spirit Week at Hogwarts" by Lady Tiffany ( it can be found at FF.net)
to Beccs - thanks
Chapter 5
Hermione sung 'Another Brick in the Wall' by Pink Floyd for the Karaoke talent night that she had signed up for. She dedicated it to Severus because she felt it rather suited the emotions of the students who had passed through the portal of his Potions classroom over the years. Hoping he would think the same, she glanced over to where he was sitting and was relieved to see a grin on his face. Hopping off the stage she joined him at the bar and brought them a round of drinks. Suggesting they grab a table, she pointed to one that was free and carried their drinks over.
A half-dozen drinks later, the results came back and to Hermione's surprise she had won. She returned to the stage to collect her prize money and also to sing a reprise. She managed to finish the song (just) and then - being rather drunk, fell headfirst off the stage. Severus walked over, picked her up and dragged her outside. He then proceeded to take a small vial out of his handbag, which he then tipped down Hermione's throat. After waiting a few minutes he hailed a cab to take them back to their flat. By the time they arrived at their destination the sobriety potion had kicked in and Hermione was once again in possession of her senses.
Hermione staggered out of the cab and up the stairs to the flat, leaving Severus to pay the fare. Making her way to the kitchen, she proceeded to brew a large pot of coffee in the hopes that it would finish the job the potion had begun. Noticing the slight cut above her left eye she resolved to ask Severus about it when he came up. Unfortunately, the sobriety potion also doubled as a delayed action sleeping potion and Hermione nodded off to sleep, slumped over the kitchen table.
Severus entered the flat to find the coffee brewed and Hermione snoring. He turned the first one off and put the second to bed, removing her shoes and outer garments first. Making a note to purchase, or better yet brew, some more sobriety potion at the earliest possible convenience Severus followed Hermione's example and went to bed.
The sun was nearly to its zenith when Hermione finally emerged from her room the next morning. Not entirely sure what happened the night before, as her memory was a little bit hazy, she hoped she would be able to get Severus to tell her without having to ask him directly. She forgot, however that he was a skilled Legilemens and as such was very hard to fool.
Severus, knowing exactly what she wanted, decided to let her stew for a while. It wasn't until the early evening that he took pity on her and tyold her the truth - that she had gotten drunk and had fallen off the stage after accepting the prize for winning. Embarrassed by her actions ,yet grateful it wasn't a whole lot worse, she apologised to Severus and thanked him for his help - and the potion.
With London being their next stop they decided to plan things out, as they needed to go to Diagon Alley but did not want to be recognised. As a result Hermione and Severus had their hair cut and dyed, Hermione wanted Severus to have a body wax as well but he refused. Later she would find herself shaving those parts of his body likely to be seen by the general populace as well as some that weren't.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They arrived in London on the 25th September and got rooms at 'The Leaky Cauldron'. Thankfully no-one recognised 'Primrose Greenhand' - a young woman with short black hair, as the bushy-haired know-it-all, Hermione Granger or her friend 'Linda Millbanks' - a woman in her early thirties whose red hair could rival the Weasleys, as the greasy-git Potions Master, Severus Snape. There was a tense moment their first night when Lucius Malfoy walked into the bar and made a bee-line for 'Linda'.
"Excuse me, fair lady. Have we meet?"
"I'm not sure, you remind me slightly of one of my father's schoolfriends so perhaps that is it. Were you by any chance in Hufflepuff?"
"Certainly not! I was in Slytherin."
"Oh in that case we definitely have never meet. I never associate with Slytherins, they are all so uncouth."
Hearing that comment, Lucius turned away and left the bar in something of a huff. As soon as he left, Hermione turned to Severus with a look of awe on her face. Severus had not only insulted his own school house - one that he was Head of, he had also insulted Lucius Molfy,a very powerful man in the wizarding commumity. Now that she thought about it, Severus had also insulted himself, something that Hermione was very proud of as it takes a strong man to make fun of oneself.
After a couple of days reacquainting themselves with Diagon Alley and confirming to themselves that their disguises worked, Hermione and Severus made their way to Gringott's Bank. With the aid of the Cheif Goblin they were able to - discreetly - remove money from their vaults, money they were going to need to make theri various purchases. First stop 'Eeylop's Owl Emporium', they had come to the decision that it was safer to buy an owl and sent it to Hogwarts than to send an Owl-Post owl.
Purchasing a male tawny owl, they tied the prepared letter to its leg and told it to go to Professor Dumbledor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The letter told Professor Dumbledore of the events to date and their plans for the near future, How they planned to travel Muggle-Style north to Scotland and thence to Hogwarts itself. They also asked if the owl could be returned, as it could prove useful as a means of communication between the three.
Following on from 'Eeylops' they went to 'Olivander's - Purveyors of fine wands since 382 BC'. At least Severus went there, Hermione, armed with a long list , went to the apothecaries to purchase potions and ingredients.
At 'Ollivander's' Severus told the aged proprietor that she (Severus being disguised as Linda) needed a new wand as the old one was damaged in an accident. Mr Ollivander, being the man he was, saw through the disguise and rattled off the specifications of Severus' last three wands, then muttering to himself about how today's youth didn't know how to look after things properly went to find a new wand to replace the one lost.
Eventually he determined upon one which was 12 Inches long, willow with a welsh red dragon heartstring as it's core. Severus tried the proffered wand and was pleasantly surpised at how well it worked and how good it felt in his grip. He paid Mr Ollivander the amount of 35 galleons, that being the price of the wand, and left the shop.
Having arranged to meet Hermione at 'Florian Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour' he bought himself a triple-decker chocolate-fudge-raspberry-ripple ice-cream, double dipped in chocolate. It was one of Fortescue's new weight-loss varieties, guaranteed to make you lose at least two pound every time ( but only if your height-mass ratio was above a certain point). Hermione, not having been to 'Fortescue's for well over a year, had yet to discover this new wonder and was shocked to see Severus tucking into such a large confectionary delight.
"Don't look so shocked, it's one of the new weight-loss flavours."
"They have ice-creams to help you lose weight? Yeah, right."
"They're guaranteed."
"You're serious, aren't you?"
"Deadly. Now do you want to see my wand, or don't you?"
"Yes, please. But I think I'll order a little something first."
She ordered a triple-decker hokey-pokey-banana-passionfruit single dipped cone, with sprinkles and nuts before checking out Severus' new wand. Knowing Mr Ollivander's skill at the choosing wands for his clientele she wasn't in the least surprised to know that Severus' wand had been his first choice.
An hour later Severus and Hermione, both feeling extremely full and satisfied returned to 'The Leaky Cauldron' to spend a quiet afternoon asleep in their beds. Placing wake-up calls with Tom, the barman, so as not to miss the dinner hour they made their way upstairs to their rooms.
by Barbi Bee
A/n 1: the characters are not mine they are merely borrowed
A/n 2: this story is in answer to a WIKTT challenge to have Severus Snape dressed in drag (women's clothing)
A/n 3: Rules and basics of the challenge completed since chapter 3
3) She must travel with him dressed in disguise/ drag through Diagon Alley.
Optional:
1) Albus knowing about the cross dressing.
Extra Points:
5) Hermione, drunk singing Karaoke.
6) Another extra point if she is in a bar singing to Severus while he's in drag.
11) The use of one or more of these lines:
"So you want to see my wand?"
A/n 4: to Imhilien - the idea of Sev on a motorbike came from 'Spirit Week at Hogwarts" by Lady Tiffany ( it can be found at FF.net)
to Beccs - thanks
Chapter 5
Hermione sung 'Another Brick in the Wall' by Pink Floyd for the Karaoke talent night that she had signed up for. She dedicated it to Severus because she felt it rather suited the emotions of the students who had passed through the portal of his Potions classroom over the years. Hoping he would think the same, she glanced over to where he was sitting and was relieved to see a grin on his face. Hopping off the stage she joined him at the bar and brought them a round of drinks. Suggesting they grab a table, she pointed to one that was free and carried their drinks over.
A half-dozen drinks later, the results came back and to Hermione's surprise she had won. She returned to the stage to collect her prize money and also to sing a reprise. She managed to finish the song (just) and then - being rather drunk, fell headfirst off the stage. Severus walked over, picked her up and dragged her outside. He then proceeded to take a small vial out of his handbag, which he then tipped down Hermione's throat. After waiting a few minutes he hailed a cab to take them back to their flat. By the time they arrived at their destination the sobriety potion had kicked in and Hermione was once again in possession of her senses.
Hermione staggered out of the cab and up the stairs to the flat, leaving Severus to pay the fare. Making her way to the kitchen, she proceeded to brew a large pot of coffee in the hopes that it would finish the job the potion had begun. Noticing the slight cut above her left eye she resolved to ask Severus about it when he came up. Unfortunately, the sobriety potion also doubled as a delayed action sleeping potion and Hermione nodded off to sleep, slumped over the kitchen table.
Severus entered the flat to find the coffee brewed and Hermione snoring. He turned the first one off and put the second to bed, removing her shoes and outer garments first. Making a note to purchase, or better yet brew, some more sobriety potion at the earliest possible convenience Severus followed Hermione's example and went to bed.
The sun was nearly to its zenith when Hermione finally emerged from her room the next morning. Not entirely sure what happened the night before, as her memory was a little bit hazy, she hoped she would be able to get Severus to tell her without having to ask him directly. She forgot, however that he was a skilled Legilemens and as such was very hard to fool.
Severus, knowing exactly what she wanted, decided to let her stew for a while. It wasn't until the early evening that he took pity on her and tyold her the truth - that she had gotten drunk and had fallen off the stage after accepting the prize for winning. Embarrassed by her actions ,yet grateful it wasn't a whole lot worse, she apologised to Severus and thanked him for his help - and the potion.
With London being their next stop they decided to plan things out, as they needed to go to Diagon Alley but did not want to be recognised. As a result Hermione and Severus had their hair cut and dyed, Hermione wanted Severus to have a body wax as well but he refused. Later she would find herself shaving those parts of his body likely to be seen by the general populace as well as some that weren't.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They arrived in London on the 25th September and got rooms at 'The Leaky Cauldron'. Thankfully no-one recognised 'Primrose Greenhand' - a young woman with short black hair, as the bushy-haired know-it-all, Hermione Granger or her friend 'Linda Millbanks' - a woman in her early thirties whose red hair could rival the Weasleys, as the greasy-git Potions Master, Severus Snape. There was a tense moment their first night when Lucius Malfoy walked into the bar and made a bee-line for 'Linda'.
"Excuse me, fair lady. Have we meet?"
"I'm not sure, you remind me slightly of one of my father's schoolfriends so perhaps that is it. Were you by any chance in Hufflepuff?"
"Certainly not! I was in Slytherin."
"Oh in that case we definitely have never meet. I never associate with Slytherins, they are all so uncouth."
Hearing that comment, Lucius turned away and left the bar in something of a huff. As soon as he left, Hermione turned to Severus with a look of awe on her face. Severus had not only insulted his own school house - one that he was Head of, he had also insulted Lucius Molfy,a very powerful man in the wizarding commumity. Now that she thought about it, Severus had also insulted himself, something that Hermione was very proud of as it takes a strong man to make fun of oneself.
After a couple of days reacquainting themselves with Diagon Alley and confirming to themselves that their disguises worked, Hermione and Severus made their way to Gringott's Bank. With the aid of the Cheif Goblin they were able to - discreetly - remove money from their vaults, money they were going to need to make theri various purchases. First stop 'Eeylop's Owl Emporium', they had come to the decision that it was safer to buy an owl and sent it to Hogwarts than to send an Owl-Post owl.
Purchasing a male tawny owl, they tied the prepared letter to its leg and told it to go to Professor Dumbledor at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The letter told Professor Dumbledore of the events to date and their plans for the near future, How they planned to travel Muggle-Style north to Scotland and thence to Hogwarts itself. They also asked if the owl could be returned, as it could prove useful as a means of communication between the three.
Following on from 'Eeylops' they went to 'Olivander's - Purveyors of fine wands since 382 BC'. At least Severus went there, Hermione, armed with a long list , went to the apothecaries to purchase potions and ingredients.
At 'Ollivander's' Severus told the aged proprietor that she (Severus being disguised as Linda) needed a new wand as the old one was damaged in an accident. Mr Ollivander, being the man he was, saw through the disguise and rattled off the specifications of Severus' last three wands, then muttering to himself about how today's youth didn't know how to look after things properly went to find a new wand to replace the one lost.
Eventually he determined upon one which was 12 Inches long, willow with a welsh red dragon heartstring as it's core. Severus tried the proffered wand and was pleasantly surpised at how well it worked and how good it felt in his grip. He paid Mr Ollivander the amount of 35 galleons, that being the price of the wand, and left the shop.
Having arranged to meet Hermione at 'Florian Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour' he bought himself a triple-decker chocolate-fudge-raspberry-ripple ice-cream, double dipped in chocolate. It was one of Fortescue's new weight-loss varieties, guaranteed to make you lose at least two pound every time ( but only if your height-mass ratio was above a certain point). Hermione, not having been to 'Fortescue's for well over a year, had yet to discover this new wonder and was shocked to see Severus tucking into such a large confectionary delight.
"Don't look so shocked, it's one of the new weight-loss flavours."
"They have ice-creams to help you lose weight? Yeah, right."
"They're guaranteed."
"You're serious, aren't you?"
"Deadly. Now do you want to see my wand, or don't you?"
"Yes, please. But I think I'll order a little something first."
She ordered a triple-decker hokey-pokey-banana-passionfruit single dipped cone, with sprinkles and nuts before checking out Severus' new wand. Knowing Mr Ollivander's skill at the choosing wands for his clientele she wasn't in the least surprised to know that Severus' wand had been his first choice.
An hour later Severus and Hermione, both feeling extremely full and satisfied returned to 'The Leaky Cauldron' to spend a quiet afternoon asleep in their beds. Placing wake-up calls with Tom, the barman, so as not to miss the dinner hour they made their way upstairs to their rooms.