Chapter 2 If This Made Cents I'd Be Richard
I know I said this was a one shot but I kept coming up with ideas! Curses! Damn my creative genius! Why must only the most supremely charming, charismatic and modest, can't forget modest, people suffer so? Oh and wit! And sarcasam. And skip everything previously uttered. As usual I own no copyrighted characters (they know who they are). I still own Inyuendo but he is now in mortal combat with his most feared enemey: (pause for dramatic effect) a Censor! On with the story.
Inuyasha and Kagome were walking down a street on their way back from the airport. Inuyasha was still complaining about everything that came to mind and let Kagome know about each and every one.
"Why are we walking? Why didn't we take that magic cart driven by the man who didn't speak Japanese?"
"Because someone spent all my money on ramen and so we couldn't take a taxi cab. And NO taxi cab driver speaks the native language. And you're used to walking."
"No I'm used to running, jumping and riding wind currents over great distances. I walk so you can keep up. And why aren't I cured yet?"
"I don't know. So stop asking me that. I don't know where the guide went, I don't know which spring will turn you back and I certainly don't know where we are! So lay off."
"You don't have to get all hissy about it."
Inuyasha jumped on a wire fence lining the road. It fenced off people from jumping into a aqueduct.
"Be careful Inuyasha. You don't want to fall in and transform. Which will you transform into I wonder? The cat girl or the sarcastic jerk?"
"And you're just gonna keep wondering cause I ain't changing."
"Yes you are. It's the first night of a new moon tonight."
"*Tch* Whatever."
"Hey, look at that."
"At what?"
"The two people coming this way."
Kagome pointed a young boy and girl about the same age as themselves. The girl was wearing a school uniform and the boy was wearing a red shirt and blue pants. He was also walking on the fence like Inuyasha. The boy obviously said something to upset the girl as she threw her bag at him. It missed and caught Inuyasha unawares. Inuyasha grabbed the bag before it fell and threw it back at the girl, hard. The boy kicked the bag out of the way before it hit her.
"You got some problem guy?" the boy shouted.
"Yeah I got a problem! I don't like being hit for no reason!"
"Inuyasha stop it."
The girl picked up her bag and walked over.
"I'm sorry. I was trying to hit Ranma here and missed. My name's Akane Tendo."
The boy, prompted by Akane's elbow, bowed.
"Name's Ranma Saotome."
"Inuyasha."
"Kagome. Nice to meet you."
Akane reached over and grabbed one of Inuyasha's ears and started playing with it. Inuyasha's left eye started to twitch.
"Will you please stop that."
"Sorry."
"It's not that big of a problem. Half the people we meet do that to him."
"And what gives you the right to say it's alright?"
"Ah ha ha ha ha. Sit boy."
*Whump* Inuyasha picked himself out of a half-dog demon, half-human shaped hole in the ground.
"I didn't do anything!"
"You will, you will."
"Then you'll just do it again!"
"You two are close friends right?"
Kagome looked at Akane.
"That obvious?"
"Ranma and me are like that most of the time. It's getting late. Would you like to stay the night?"
"Oh no we wouldn't want to be an inconvenience."
"It's no problem. Our family has plenty of room. Come on."
"Do you have ramen?"
"Yes." Akane answered carefully, not sure of what to expect.
"We'll stay. I love ramen!"
"Good, it'll be the only food Akane can cook without killing someone."
"Inuyasha!"
"Ranma!"
Akane pulled out her mallet and knocked Ranma into the sky, but not without first hitting Inuyasha in the process, sending him up as well. Kagome looked up.
"Sit boy!"
Inuyasha and Ranma came plummeting down to the ground. Or rather the aqueduct.
"Will they be alright?"
"I don't know about Inuyasha but Ranma will be fine. Oh, I guess I should fill you in on something before he comes back up."
"Same thing here. Inuyasha is under some sort of curse."
"Curse? From a spring?"
"How'd you know?"
"C-c-c-cat!"
"G-g-g-girl?"
"We better hurry. We have a long story on our hands."
At the Tendo Dojo, Akane finished the brief explanation of Ranma's condition with the use of a diagram she made to make this sort of thing easier to explain. When Akane was done, Inuyasha went to take a bath while Kagome explained their side of the story.
"So he isn't a cat?"
"That's right. He's half-dog demon."
"Not a cat in any way?"
"Yes."
"You sure?"
"He afraid of cats?"
"Some sort of bizarre training exercise his father put him through. And none of this seems odd in any way to you?"
Kagome thought over everything that had happened in her life since she fell down the Bone-Earter's well.
"Can't say that it is. You?"
Akane thought of every other one of Ranma's fiancees, each bizarre martial art style and one in three of the insane quests and competitions she had seen.
"Not in the least. We even have our own demon. His name's Happosai."
"Did my sweet Akane call my name?"
Akane pulled out her trust mallet and sent Happosai into low orbit.
"See?"
"That was the most horrible evil I have ever encountered."
"You haven't gotten to know him yet. It only gets worse."
"You think that's bad? Inuyasha and I have to deal with things like that Hippo-sty all the time."
"Happosai!"
Akane offhandedly smashed Happosai back into orbit with her mallet.
"That'd be nice compared to all the stupid things I have to deal with, let alone Ranma."
"I know, Inuyasha can be such a jerk at times and that was before he fell into the Spring of Sarcastic Jerk."
"Sarcastic Jerk? I wonder if Ranma fell into that one."
"No I did not! One spring is enough."
"Amen to that brother."
"So Inuyasha, you get a lot of strong opponents where you're from?"
"Every other day it seems. You?"
"Got it timed at about every 27 hours."
"That's what? Five carry the six, minus the eight, halve by the speed of sound, squared and... About what?"
"Every day."
"Right! That's a bunch. But if they're every day they mustn't be all that tough."
"What? Well if they're every other day then they must be slow!"
"You couldn't even take down ONE of Naraku's henchmen!"
"You couldn't deal with one of my MINOR fiancees'!"
"I bet you can't deal with what I go through!"
"You're on!"
"Inuyasha? You aren't doing what I think you're doing, are you?"
"Ranma, are you putting you're foot in your mouth again?"
"Stay out of this Kagome!"
"Yeah, this is a oath between men!"
*Splash*
"It's a oath between what?"
"Rrraaarrrr! That's not funny!"
"C-c-c-cat!"
Several minutes later.
"Ranma out cold?"
"Yep."
"Seventeen hits to the head with a mallet will do that."
"And Inuyasha?"
"He'll be taking some time to crawl out of that hole."
"Twelve 'Sit Boys' will do that."
"But it was a good idea."
"What?"
"We switch places, for a week or something."
"Yeah, it would be nice. It be like a vacation."
"A vacation? The Feudal period isn't exactly a walk in the park. Of course being able to go back to school would be nice."
"School?"
"Compared to fighting demons?"
"Point."
"So we switch places for a week and see who had the better time. Agreed?"
"Agreed."
"Won't your parents be worried that you're gone?"
Akane thought for the sum total of .00000000001 seconds to compile her answer.
"Nope. I'll just leave a note with one of my sisters explaining things. What about your parents?"
Kagome didn't even take half as long as Akane.
"My Mom lets me fight demons a thousand years in the past. I don't think she'll have a fit about this. But I better write you a note to my friends just so they know."
I wonder how Sango and Miroku are doing, Kagome thought.
Meanwhile, in Feudal Japan, in Kaedae's village.
"So Sango, where do you think Inuyasha and Kagome went?"
"To find a cure I would think."
"What shall we do in the meantime?"
There was a momentary pause before Sango pulled out her boomerang and smacked Miroku into a wall.
"Something other than touching my butt!"
Outside Sesshomaru is standing on a tree limb overlooking the village, keeping a surreptitious eye on Rin playing below him. He looked at the village, waiting for his half-brother's return. A sound like a bag of meat hitting a stone drifted towards him. A house in the village had what was unmistakably a Monk-shaped protrusion in it's wall.
"Perverted monk."
Wasn't that fun? Well? Was it? You tell me. Please Review.
P.S. Inyuendo has defeated his most feared enemy of all time! The censor is dead! But now he must deal with the (so far) unsurpassed horror that awaits him in the form of: The possibility that George "Dubya" Bush could be reelected! What will our intrepid (and throughly non-copyright infringing) hero do next? If you want Inyuendo to win and survive then I suggest you vote against Bush. And if you haven't registered, do it now! Inyuendo commands you!
This fic was sponsered by the D.G.D.L.B.B.R.F. or The Dear God Don't Let Bush Be Reelected Foundation. I got five bucks to write that.
P.P.S. I can admit I'm wrong. The Voice actress for Akane was the person who did KIKYO in Japanese. I've corrected the mistake in the previous chapter. I'm just glad that there's an even bigger Inuyasha fan than I to point that out for me. I guess I came to this conclusion from a quote in the book: "The Art of Inuyasha." Satsuki Yukino said: "Sometimes Kappei-san (Kappei Yamaguchi, the voice for Inuyasha) calls me Akane!" My heartfelt thanks goes to Inuyagura for informing me. Arigato Inuyagura!
I know I said this was a one shot but I kept coming up with ideas! Curses! Damn my creative genius! Why must only the most supremely charming, charismatic and modest, can't forget modest, people suffer so? Oh and wit! And sarcasam. And skip everything previously uttered. As usual I own no copyrighted characters (they know who they are). I still own Inyuendo but he is now in mortal combat with his most feared enemey: (pause for dramatic effect) a Censor! On with the story.
Inuyasha and Kagome were walking down a street on their way back from the airport. Inuyasha was still complaining about everything that came to mind and let Kagome know about each and every one.
"Why are we walking? Why didn't we take that magic cart driven by the man who didn't speak Japanese?"
"Because someone spent all my money on ramen and so we couldn't take a taxi cab. And NO taxi cab driver speaks the native language. And you're used to walking."
"No I'm used to running, jumping and riding wind currents over great distances. I walk so you can keep up. And why aren't I cured yet?"
"I don't know. So stop asking me that. I don't know where the guide went, I don't know which spring will turn you back and I certainly don't know where we are! So lay off."
"You don't have to get all hissy about it."
Inuyasha jumped on a wire fence lining the road. It fenced off people from jumping into a aqueduct.
"Be careful Inuyasha. You don't want to fall in and transform. Which will you transform into I wonder? The cat girl or the sarcastic jerk?"
"And you're just gonna keep wondering cause I ain't changing."
"Yes you are. It's the first night of a new moon tonight."
"*Tch* Whatever."
"Hey, look at that."
"At what?"
"The two people coming this way."
Kagome pointed a young boy and girl about the same age as themselves. The girl was wearing a school uniform and the boy was wearing a red shirt and blue pants. He was also walking on the fence like Inuyasha. The boy obviously said something to upset the girl as she threw her bag at him. It missed and caught Inuyasha unawares. Inuyasha grabbed the bag before it fell and threw it back at the girl, hard. The boy kicked the bag out of the way before it hit her.
"You got some problem guy?" the boy shouted.
"Yeah I got a problem! I don't like being hit for no reason!"
"Inuyasha stop it."
The girl picked up her bag and walked over.
"I'm sorry. I was trying to hit Ranma here and missed. My name's Akane Tendo."
The boy, prompted by Akane's elbow, bowed.
"Name's Ranma Saotome."
"Inuyasha."
"Kagome. Nice to meet you."
Akane reached over and grabbed one of Inuyasha's ears and started playing with it. Inuyasha's left eye started to twitch.
"Will you please stop that."
"Sorry."
"It's not that big of a problem. Half the people we meet do that to him."
"And what gives you the right to say it's alright?"
"Ah ha ha ha ha. Sit boy."
*Whump* Inuyasha picked himself out of a half-dog demon, half-human shaped hole in the ground.
"I didn't do anything!"
"You will, you will."
"Then you'll just do it again!"
"You two are close friends right?"
Kagome looked at Akane.
"That obvious?"
"Ranma and me are like that most of the time. It's getting late. Would you like to stay the night?"
"Oh no we wouldn't want to be an inconvenience."
"It's no problem. Our family has plenty of room. Come on."
"Do you have ramen?"
"Yes." Akane answered carefully, not sure of what to expect.
"We'll stay. I love ramen!"
"Good, it'll be the only food Akane can cook without killing someone."
"Inuyasha!"
"Ranma!"
Akane pulled out her mallet and knocked Ranma into the sky, but not without first hitting Inuyasha in the process, sending him up as well. Kagome looked up.
"Sit boy!"
Inuyasha and Ranma came plummeting down to the ground. Or rather the aqueduct.
"Will they be alright?"
"I don't know about Inuyasha but Ranma will be fine. Oh, I guess I should fill you in on something before he comes back up."
"Same thing here. Inuyasha is under some sort of curse."
"Curse? From a spring?"
"How'd you know?"
"C-c-c-cat!"
"G-g-g-girl?"
"We better hurry. We have a long story on our hands."
At the Tendo Dojo, Akane finished the brief explanation of Ranma's condition with the use of a diagram she made to make this sort of thing easier to explain. When Akane was done, Inuyasha went to take a bath while Kagome explained their side of the story.
"So he isn't a cat?"
"That's right. He's half-dog demon."
"Not a cat in any way?"
"Yes."
"You sure?"
"He afraid of cats?"
"Some sort of bizarre training exercise his father put him through. And none of this seems odd in any way to you?"
Kagome thought over everything that had happened in her life since she fell down the Bone-Earter's well.
"Can't say that it is. You?"
Akane thought of every other one of Ranma's fiancees, each bizarre martial art style and one in three of the insane quests and competitions she had seen.
"Not in the least. We even have our own demon. His name's Happosai."
"Did my sweet Akane call my name?"
Akane pulled out her trust mallet and sent Happosai into low orbit.
"See?"
"That was the most horrible evil I have ever encountered."
"You haven't gotten to know him yet. It only gets worse."
"You think that's bad? Inuyasha and I have to deal with things like that Hippo-sty all the time."
"Happosai!"
Akane offhandedly smashed Happosai back into orbit with her mallet.
"That'd be nice compared to all the stupid things I have to deal with, let alone Ranma."
"I know, Inuyasha can be such a jerk at times and that was before he fell into the Spring of Sarcastic Jerk."
"Sarcastic Jerk? I wonder if Ranma fell into that one."
"No I did not! One spring is enough."
"Amen to that brother."
"So Inuyasha, you get a lot of strong opponents where you're from?"
"Every other day it seems. You?"
"Got it timed at about every 27 hours."
"That's what? Five carry the six, minus the eight, halve by the speed of sound, squared and... About what?"
"Every day."
"Right! That's a bunch. But if they're every day they mustn't be all that tough."
"What? Well if they're every other day then they must be slow!"
"You couldn't even take down ONE of Naraku's henchmen!"
"You couldn't deal with one of my MINOR fiancees'!"
"I bet you can't deal with what I go through!"
"You're on!"
"Inuyasha? You aren't doing what I think you're doing, are you?"
"Ranma, are you putting you're foot in your mouth again?"
"Stay out of this Kagome!"
"Yeah, this is a oath between men!"
*Splash*
"It's a oath between what?"
"Rrraaarrrr! That's not funny!"
"C-c-c-cat!"
Several minutes later.
"Ranma out cold?"
"Yep."
"Seventeen hits to the head with a mallet will do that."
"And Inuyasha?"
"He'll be taking some time to crawl out of that hole."
"Twelve 'Sit Boys' will do that."
"But it was a good idea."
"What?"
"We switch places, for a week or something."
"Yeah, it would be nice. It be like a vacation."
"A vacation? The Feudal period isn't exactly a walk in the park. Of course being able to go back to school would be nice."
"School?"
"Compared to fighting demons?"
"Point."
"So we switch places for a week and see who had the better time. Agreed?"
"Agreed."
"Won't your parents be worried that you're gone?"
Akane thought for the sum total of .00000000001 seconds to compile her answer.
"Nope. I'll just leave a note with one of my sisters explaining things. What about your parents?"
Kagome didn't even take half as long as Akane.
"My Mom lets me fight demons a thousand years in the past. I don't think she'll have a fit about this. But I better write you a note to my friends just so they know."
I wonder how Sango and Miroku are doing, Kagome thought.
Meanwhile, in Feudal Japan, in Kaedae's village.
"So Sango, where do you think Inuyasha and Kagome went?"
"To find a cure I would think."
"What shall we do in the meantime?"
There was a momentary pause before Sango pulled out her boomerang and smacked Miroku into a wall.
"Something other than touching my butt!"
Outside Sesshomaru is standing on a tree limb overlooking the village, keeping a surreptitious eye on Rin playing below him. He looked at the village, waiting for his half-brother's return. A sound like a bag of meat hitting a stone drifted towards him. A house in the village had what was unmistakably a Monk-shaped protrusion in it's wall.
"Perverted monk."
Wasn't that fun? Well? Was it? You tell me. Please Review.
P.S. Inyuendo has defeated his most feared enemy of all time! The censor is dead! But now he must deal with the (so far) unsurpassed horror that awaits him in the form of: The possibility that George "Dubya" Bush could be reelected! What will our intrepid (and throughly non-copyright infringing) hero do next? If you want Inyuendo to win and survive then I suggest you vote against Bush. And if you haven't registered, do it now! Inyuendo commands you!
This fic was sponsered by the D.G.D.L.B.B.R.F. or The Dear God Don't Let Bush Be Reelected Foundation. I got five bucks to write that.
P.P.S. I can admit I'm wrong. The Voice actress for Akane was the person who did KIKYO in Japanese. I've corrected the mistake in the previous chapter. I'm just glad that there's an even bigger Inuyasha fan than I to point that out for me. I guess I came to this conclusion from a quote in the book: "The Art of Inuyasha." Satsuki Yukino said: "Sometimes Kappei-san (Kappei Yamaguchi, the voice for Inuyasha) calls me Akane!" My heartfelt thanks goes to Inuyagura for informing me. Arigato Inuyagura!