Answers

By: Little Sharingan

Disclaimer:  Naruto and all affiliated characters are the property of Masashi Kishimoto, Shounen Jump, and possibly Toriyama's World.  No copyright infringement intended. 

Author's Note:  Well, here's the first chapter of what will likely turn into a multi-chaptered fic, if I can sustain my interest long enough to finish it.  A review I read recently about the sparse number of IC KakaxIru inspired me to give it a shot, and this is the result.  If it's in character, I'll be content.  So there's your warning, dear reader.  Continue at your own risk. 

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Winter's first snow fell over Konoha that evening as the sun sank slowly behind the western cliffs and brought a chill to the night air.  Classes had ended later than usual that day, and the academy grounds emptied quickly after dismissal, the would-be shinobi wasting no time in hurrying home.  Sitting back from the stack of newly graded papers, Iruka glanced out the window to watch the last of the stragglers leave. 

It was by no coincidence that his schedule left little time to himself.  He'd taken on twice as many classes as the other teachers and had refused any help with going over tests and essays, though there was no shortage of volunteers.  They were mostly mothers of academy students, he'd explained to the Third Hokage over tea one afternoon; he didn't want to risk any unfairness in grading.  The old man had simply nodded knowingly, and Iruka sensed that both shinobi understood – teaching had become all-consuming in Iruka's life.  To relinquish any of it would have left Iruka without direction, purpose.

Everything began to change the day Naruto came to his class.  A fond smile quirked the chuunin's lips as he thought of the obnoxious little boy.  From the first day Naruto had opened his big mouth and proved his stupidity to the class, Iruka had found himself growing unusually attached to the student.  Every smile that masked the loneliness, every laugh that covered the pain – Iruka had seen his own hurt staring back from Naruto's eyes.  And so Iruka had taken it upon himself to care for the boy. 

His efforts had been well-rewarded.  There was something about the way Naruto's face brightened every time he saw his beloved teacher that struck a chord in Iruka.  For the first time in a long time, Umino Iruka felt truly needed.  The Nine-Tails fox demon had taken away any chance of a normal life for both of them that fateful night.  But perhaps, thought the young man, they could fill each other's losses and become a small, makeshift family.  It was a comforting thought.

Iruka shivered as the cold began to seep in through the windows.  Time to go home.  Though he had no one waiting for him, he didn't relish the idea of walking home any later than was necessary in such weather.  I wonder if Naruto remembered to keep warm.  He sighed; he knew better than to assume Naruto would think ahead to get extra blankets before he came down sick.  Fools never catch colds, but they do get pneumonia, he thought wryly as he stopped by his own place to retrieve a few blankets for his young charge.

Naruto's apartment was on the second story of a small building.  The light glowed warmly from the window, but no one answered the door.  I wonder if he's okay.  An irrational pang of worry knotted his stomach, and Iruka leapt up the tree that stood tall next to Naruto's bedroom.  Peering through the glass, he saw the blonde boy was indeed safe, only sound asleep among dozens of scrolls scattered around him in motley disarray.  Annoyance quickly replaced the concern.  That idiot is sleeping on the floor. 

Quietly, Iruka slid the window open and stepped into the tiny home.  He had not become a chuunin for nothing, and Naruto didn't even stir as his teacher gently carried him to the bed and tucked him under the covers.  A warm hand settled on the boy's forehead.

"Who's going to take care of you, if I'm not here, Naruto?" Iruka chided softly. 

"He can take care of himself," a deep voice commented dryly from the open window. 

Iruka's head snapped in the direction of the intruder, a kunai already in hand to defend the child from danger.  Kakashi-sensei.  A breath of relief escaped him, and he returned the blade to its normal place at his side.  He brought a finger to his lips and gestured for the two older ninja to leave the sleeping genin in peace.  The jounin obliged with little more than a shrug.

"Sorry if I scared you," the Copy Ninja apologized once outside, though the slight, teasing tone suggested the opposite. 

"I was just startled."  Not scared.  The sheepish expression melted away into one of confusion and frank suspicion.  "What are you doing here?"

"Checking up on my students.  What are you doing here?"

"Naruto isn't very good about remembering things like keeping warm.  I brought him a few extra blankets, since it's going to be cold tonight."

"He's a ninja.  A little cold won't kill him."  Kakashi sounded amused by Iruka's sentimentality.

"I know, but if he misses out on a mission because he's sick, it'll really disappoint him," Iruka argued, exasperated that the jounin took so little effort to take care of the three children.

"You're not his mother, Iruka-sensei.  You're not even his teacher anymore."

"That doesn't mean I can't still care.  I know you're a good ninja – I've heard the stories of your missions as Copy Ninja of Konoha – but you don't know Naruto.  He's not like other ninja."

"I know more than you think."

"He's been alone his whole life with no one to look after him—"

"Like you."

Iruka looked surprised.  As he stared at the enigmatic jounin, he thought that there might have been a smile underneath the characteristic mask.

"How did you know?" he stammered.

Kakashi shrugged, sticking his hands in his pockets.  He was the picture of easy confidence and nonchalance.  "Reconnaissance is as important to being a ninja as combat.  I suppose it becomes second nature after awhile."

The teacher looked down guiltily.  Stupid question.  Information gathering was a precept of ninja training.  Why wouldn't Kakashi know everything about his students and the people in their lives? 

"Yes.  Naruto is like me," he admitted finally.  "He needs me." 

"It bothers you, doesn't it," the jounin said.  It wasn't a question.  "It bothers you that he's growing up.  Naruto may be loud-mouthed and brash, but he's a decent ninja.  He doesn't need you pampering him anymore." 

"That's not it!  I just want him to have more than I did while growing up."  Family.  Friends.  Iruka's face fell, and his shoulders seemed to slump under the weight of it all.  "There's more to life than being a ninja."

"Is there?"

Iruka's gaze rose to meet the single eye that stared back at him.  Though no one could say any true emotion had been reflected in that honest stare, the chuunin couldn't help but feel some kindred loneliness, some intangible connection, with the mysterious jounin.  Was it just his imagination or had there been a fleeting note of sincerity in that simple question?  Was there more to life than being a ninja?

"There has to be," the academy teacher's reply was soft but certain.

            It seemed the jounin had lost interest in the conversation, because after a few moments of silence, Kakashi pulled out his trusty book from his pack.  He began to read under the meager light of the streetlamps as he ambled away.  A gloved hand rose to bid the younger ninja a mumbled goodnight, and he soon disappeared into the shadows.

            The next day came without incident, and Iruka found himself running through his routine training exercises as usual: two hundred push ups, two hundred sit ups, two miles of high speed tree-leaping, and thirty minutes of chakra molding.  By the last few minutes of chakra work, Iruka had worn himself out.  He leaned with his back against a tree, watching as the sun rose over the tree line. 

            "Yo," a familiar voice asked out of nowhere. 

            Iruka yelled awkwardly in surprise, stumbling for a weapon as he faced his presumed attacker.  Kakashi-sensei.  An ashamed blush tinted his cheeks, as he glowered at the jounin.  The Copy Ninja's skill at stealth and chakra-masking made the chuunin feel more like a genin than an academy teacher; the sense of humiliation was acute.  Determinedly, Iruka willed his heart to stop racing as he favored the other shinobi with a chagrined look.  It seemed the silver-haired ninja was unrepentant. 

            "Ah, Kakashi-sensei.  Good morning," Iruka replied uncomfortably.  "What are you doing here?" 

            "I got lost on my way to the bathroom."

            The urge to sputter and demand a new answer was almost irresistible.  Almost.  Instead, he opted to ignore the facetious answer.  After all, the jounin threw him off kilter enough with his abrupt arrivals as it was.  Even a chuunin had his pride. 

            "I see." 

            The two shinobi fell silent, watching the other intently as the first of morning's light pierced through the canopy like pillars.  The moment seemed surreally long before Iruka turned away.  A second later, the younger ninja leapt back, grabbing a kunai out of the air as it was hurled toward his head.  Anger burned away any embarrassment or insecurity he felt whenever he was with the Copy Ninja, and his eyes flashed with fury.

            "Why did you do that?!" he demanded. 

            Kakashi regarded him with what appeared to be approval, nodding his head in an appreciative manner.  "You have potential.  Why are you still a chuunin?"

            A test, Iruka realized, the flash of emotion fading away to little more than embers of annoyance.  For once, Iruka took the role of the casual one and shrugged.  "What's wrong with being a chuunin?" 

            Even with only one revealed eye, Iruka could sense the jounin's eyes had narrowed on him like a precise gaze that could see to his soul.  The young man fidgeted under the power of that stare.  Kakashi didn't need the Sharingan to be intimidating, he decided; the man could do quite well even without it.

            "You didn't answer my question." 

            "Does it matter?"

            "Maybe.  Maybe not." 

            And Kakashi was aggravated by his evasiveness?  Iruka chuckled, the irony not lost upon him.  It seemed the older ninja realized the joke and visibly relaxed as he laughed along silently with the chuunin.  The tension in the air dissipated, and Iruka gave the Copy Ninja an open smile. 

            "I like teaching.  As a chuunin, I have the option of being a teacher, while all jounin are required to take missions outside of Fire Country.  To be honest, I'd rather stay here with the students." 

            "Jounin have students," Kakashi responded, effectively nullifying Iruka's excuse.

            "My students don't die."

            At that, Kakashi paused, apparently hesitant to continue prodding.  He only grunted noncommittally and sat down on the grass next to the academy teacher.

"I understand," said the jounin after awhile.

"You never did tell me why you were here," Iruka trailed off. 

"You said there was more to life than being a ninja."  Kakashi leaned back on his palms, stretching his long legs in front of him.

"Yes, I remember." 

"Then tell me."  The request was made without bravado or guise.  It was an honest question.

Iruka looked at the Copy Ninja inquisitively.  There was more to this seemingly simple question, than first met the eye.  A sudden, unexpected feeling of protectiveness welled up inside him for the jounin.  Perhaps the indomitable Hatake Kakashi was just as much in need of rescue from loneliness as Naruto.  A voice sneered at him from within his own mind.  Who was he – a mere chuunin – to save the Copy Ninja of all people from something Iruka couldn't even save himself from?

"Do you have any family, Kakashi-sensei?"

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Naruto doesn't have any family.  Neither do I, for that matter."

"We live in a village of shinobi.  Many people have died in missions, and just as many people have been left behind," he murmured quietly.  There was a curious subdued quality to his tone that was normally hidden beneath an impenetrable mask of indifference.  "Being alone is something all ninja have to come to terms with at one point or another."

"Maybe you're right, but I knew my parents – I still remember them.  I remember a time when I wasn't alone."   Iruka sighed as he sat down next to Kakashi.  "Naruto doesn't have that.  If I can help…if he doesn't have to be alone, then I want to be there for him."

"You want to save him."

"I guess you could put it that way, although he's probably more fit to save me now."  A proud grin brightened the chuunin's face, and the jounin's dark mood seemed to improve considerably with the infectious smile.  "He's improved a lot, hasn't he?"

"He has."

"You know, I'm happy he has you."

Kakashi cocked his head toward the younger ninja, quirking an eyebrow in skepticism.  "Even though you don't think I know him as well as you do?"

Iruka winced.  "You're a good teacher.  No one has ever been able to control and focus Naruto's energies and attention like you.  It's because of you that he's improved so much and come that much closer to his goals.  He's truly happy now."

"And you?"

A stark sense of astonishment seemed to grip the younger ninja as he searched for an answer.  He wanted to say that he, too, was happy, but he had the distinct feeling that the astute jounin would see through any lies – even if Iruka himself believed them.

"I don't know," he answered at last. 

            "Then how would you know if there was more to life than being a ninja?"  There was no malice or resentment in the tone, nor any triumphant note of any kind.  If anything, a nearly imperceptible hint of regret hummed just beneath the surface of Kakashi's indifferent attitude.

            A frown touched Iruka's lips, but before he could assemble his puzzled thoughts into a coherent answer, the jounin stood and stretched.  Kakashi was apparently through with their conversation. 

            "Kakashi-sensei…"

            "I'll see you around, Iruka-sensei.  My genin are probably waiting for me.  I told them I'd meet them at five this morning."  With that, he disappeared into a puff of smoke, leaving no trace of his presence behind. 

            Iruka just sat, staring idly at the place where the fair-haired ninja had just sat.  If he hadn't been sure he was awake, the chuunin might have thought he'd dreamed the whole exchange.  The Copy Ninja wasn't particularly known for his willingness to share, and though Kakashi had not spoken of himself at all during their conversation, he'd revealed more of himself to the academy teacher than Iruka would have ever dared imagine.  Questions were often more telling of the mind than answers; any ninja trained to gather information knew that.

            Within the span of the last twelve hours, he'd spoken to Hatake Kakashi more than all of the previous times combined, and it still didn't amount to much.  Yet somewhere in that time, Iruka felt he'd come a shy closer to understanding what the jounin hid behind his mask.  To see underneath the underneath is a ninja's duty, Iruka reminded himself.  Though he'd thought at the beginning of their conversation that the Copy Ninja might have been probing him, testing the chuunin for the correct philosophical answers to the meaning of a ninja's life, Iruka now thought otherwise.  That single dark eye that had seemed so cold and flat before now seemed to disclose much more than even the jounin possibly knew.  A certainty settled in Iruka's mind – Kakashi had not come looking for questions to better profile the academy teacher.  Instead, he'd come to Iruka looking for answers.

            The chuunin grunted as he stood, facing the village with a determined expression on his face, not so unlike the one that often found its way onto Naruto's own childish features.  Iruka had no delusions about his skills, especially when compared to those of Hatake Kakashi; but perhaps there was something he could do for the jounin.  Perhaps the key to answering Kakashi's questions was in leading him to the solution, rather than simply telling him.  For that, he would need Naruto's help.  Iruka looked down at his watch.  Eight o'clock.  But hadn't Kakashi just said he was supposed to meet the genin at five?  His hand rose to wipe the exasperation off of his face. 

            "He's worse than Naruto," he muttered to no one in particular.

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Author's Notes:  Well, the stage has been set for a Kakashi x Iruka romance.  I've never written a yaoi pairing before; and being a straight woman, I'm not really familiar with the details of same sex intimacy, so I wouldn't expect much as far as our boys getting hot and heavy from me if I were you.  But I figured the heart is the same in any gender, so I think I can manage a semi-decent evolution of awkward love between the two ninja.  =)  In any case, comments and suggestions are always welcome.  Thanks for reading!!!  Stay tuned for the next chapter.