Author: Moggie

Email:

Pairing: G/S

Category: Angst/Romance

Rating: R

Summary: [GSR] Gil Grissom is a Forensics Entomology Professor at Boston, Harvard. He's teaching forensic science with an addition of entomology. He meets a student and falls in love. They both know it's not allowed, but get close anyway.

Spoilers: none as yet in series one

Disclaimer: I do not under any circumstances own CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.

Note: This has taken me months to get right. I made myself take time over it to get character and add seasoning, then let it boil on a low heat until just right, hopefully the outcome is as good as the idea was in the beginning.

Note2: This fanfic may come in parts. A beginning, middle and perhaps and end, but I'm still thinking about that. This could take me a while seeing as the first part took me so long to write.

Troubles

Volume I

-'SHE'S 21 YEARS old for crying out loud. How can I feel this way about a 21-year-old?'- He watched her as she walked with her friends to sit on the front row. She was talking and sorting out her notes. He looked away as she looked up and smiled at him, catching his eyes on her.

-'God he's so sexy. My friend told me he's 36, but how can I have these feelings for a man so much older than me?'- She caught him staring and smiled shyly. She continued talking to her friends as they chatted amongst themselves.

The talking stopped and she looked up. He was standing on the podium with his projector remote in one hand and the other in his pants pocket. She listened carefully as she watched the screen as the pictures flew by. She would look at him every chance she got and a few times, caught his eye. They both looked away and tried to focus on something else.

"If you run out of leads, then go back to the evidence." He spoke clearly. He handed out leaflets during every lecture. They were different every time. They gave information on the different areas of forensics and other helpful fields.

"Any questions?" He asked, pushing notes together and putting them into his briefcase.

She looked down at her notepad and bit her lip nervously. -'Maybe one question… will you marry me?'-

She smiled at the thought and held up her hand, she stood and asked her question. "Can you actually tell the time of death by using linear regression?"

His hands stilled when he heard her voice. He looked up slowly and tried to find his voice, but with some difficulty. He pulled out a paper from his briefcase and nodded. -'I wonder if I can ask her a question… will you bare my children?'- He smiled and held out the paper. "All you need to know is here."

She stood and walked towards his outstretched arm. The students were starting to file out of the room in bulk. Reaching out, her fingers grazed his as she took the paper. "Thanks."

His eyes never left hers, but his smile faltered when she accidentally touches him. He cleared his throat and looked away, releasing the paper. "You're welcome."

"Sara?"

She turned and waved at her friend. "I'm coming." She turned back and smiled. "Thanks again." She reluctantly took a step back, but she didn't want to leave.

He watched her, as she seemed to fight her feet as she backed away and finally turned to leave the room. He shyly looked away when she reached the door and looked back at him over her shoulder.

-'Sara…'- He looked through his list of students and found her name. "Sara Sidle." He said aloud and smiled.

-'WEEKS AND I still haven't found the courage to ask him out for coffee'- She sighed and looked down at her notes. She listened as he spoke, his voice undoing her. She tingled all over and felt the familiar warmth bubble within her. She tapped her pen on the textbook and looked at him through her fallen hair. -'This has got to be sexual tension or something…'-

He looked across at her when he felt her eyes on him. Her hair was in her face and he so desperately wanted to push it back behind her ear. He sighed and looked down at the pile of papers on his desk.

"Hand your assignments in before you disappear folks." He said with his head down. -'How am I suppose to work if I can't stop looking at her? She's driving me crazy with her eyes alone'-

She licked her lips and pulled out a small note pad. She looked up as everyone started making two piles of assignments. -'I need to do something before I go nuts. His curly hair alone is begging me to touch it…'-

Standing, he pulled the assignments towards him and looked up as one more was placed on top of the pile, right in front of him. He locked eyes with her as she slowly backed away and smiled. She turned and left the room.

He looked down and sat back in his seat. Opening the folder, he ran his fingers over the neat writing. Turning the page, he noticed a piece of notepaper, held on by a paperclip. He pulled it free and unfolded it.

- - Chips Diner 9pm Tuesday

He smirked and folded the note to tuck into his shirt pocket. He collected his papers together and cleared the desk off. With one box of assignments and papers in one hand, he grabbed his briefcase and headed for his car.

SITTING NERVOUSLY AT the table, she ran her hand through her hair. -'God, what am I doing?'- She looked up as the door opened, but two women walked in. She sighed and started playing with the spoon for her coffee. She stirred her coffee about six times and didn't stop.

A shadow formed over her briefly, but she didn't look up. When she caught something move in front of her she looked up to lock with bright piercing blue eyes.

"Hey." He said softly.

She looked down at her coffee and stopped stirring; she looked back up quickly. "Hi."

"I don't think we've meet properly. I'm Gil Grissom. Though everyone calls me Grissom." He held out his hand.

She smiled and shook his hand. Loving the warmth radiating from his palm into hers. "I know. I'm Sara Sidle."

He smiled. "I know." He slowly withdrew his hand and placed it on the table. "You want another coffee?" He asked.

Sara looked down and laughed. "Uh. Yes please. Seems to have gone cold."

Grissom chuckled. "So it seems." He waved at the waitress and ordered two coffees. He turned back to Sara and watched as she pushed her cup away. "I got your note, obviously." He said softly, dropping his eyes to his hands.

She smiled. "I hope you don't think I'm weird or anything-"

He snapped his head up quickly and cut her off. "No, I never thought that. I just, well…" He chuckled. "I was thinking of asking you out… for coffee." He added quickly and blushed as she smiled widely at him.

-'He looks so god damn handsome when he's nervous and blushing'- The coffees arrived and they shared long looks as they drank in silence. Grissom looked at her over the top of his cup and smiled.

-'She's beautiful'-

THEY MET FOR coffee every Tuesday night at the same time. They eventually started talking, but only about forensics. It was a safe subject to stick to.

Four weeks this went on for. Sara would still ask questions during classes, but she would ask more when they were alone in the middle of the night in the diner. Grissom gladly answered her questions.

"I tell you what." He began and looked down at his coffee. "If you want me… I mean, I can if you want…" -'For Gods Sakes Gil! You're a grown man and you can't even speak'-

Sara laughed. "Gil, what?"

He chuckled. "If you want me to tutor you… I will." He looked up and shrugged. "You don't have to. It just saves meeting here every Tuesday and practically telling you everything a tutor does."

Sara nodded and stood. "Let's go then. It's nearly 10, but I'm sure I can think of more questions."

Grissom stood and paid for their coffees. "Where do you want to go?"

She pushed through the door and waited for him on the pavement. "Library ok?"

He was about to nod, but thought better of it. "Maybe somewhere else." He watched as she questioned him with her eyes as they walked towards the library. He stopped and waited for her to do the same. "I'm not saying we can't, we can if you insist, but I was thinking somewhere like my apartment, or yours."

Sara stepped closer to him and dipped her head to see his downcast eyes. "I think it's ok. I trust you." She smiled. -'I wonder just how much I trust him'-

GRISSOM WAS A gentleman the entire time he tutored her. His time with her, alone, was enough, for them both. Although the feelings that were pushed deep within them both were still begging to be released, they knew the risks.

Sara and Grissom's Tuesday nights turned into Wednesday and Thursday, which soon turned to most nights of the next few weeks.

"You've run out of milk." Sara shouted from the kitchen. -'And cookies'- She smiled as she picked up the packet with the last remaining biscuit.

Grissom looked up from his desk. "I'll stop by the store later." He turned back to marking papers as Sara came back into the living room and dropped down on the couch. He watched her from the corner of his eye.

Sara picked up her notepad and continued to scribble. She had a chocolate cookie in one hand and her pencil in the other. "Mmm." She hummed, nibbling at the biscuit and writing something down. -'Chocolate to take ones mind off the rage of urges that rush through me'-

Grissom placed his pen on the desk and stood. He walked across the short distance to the couch and lifted Sara's feet so he could sit down. He then placed them on his legs as he looked at her. "Show me." He said with a smile.

She shook her head and continued to write. "Not yet."

He sighed and fingered the hem of her pant leg, his fingers grazed her ankle and she smiled, her leg flinched. -'A discovery I wish I could use. She's ticklish'- He grinned and tried to reach for the notepad. "I'm sure it's fine Sara. Let me look."

She laughed as he tried again, but failed to grab the notepad. "No, wait a minute. I'm not finished." She leaned the pad on the back of the couch as she took another bite from her cookie. She watched him from the corner of her eye.

-'I'm going to embarrass myself if I don't 'do' something'- Grissom licked his lips as he watched her teeth, lightly bite through the chocolate and her tongue peek out to lick her lips. He leaned forward and tried to take the cookie. "At least give me a bite."

"Hey, back off buster, my cookie." She dropped the notepad as Grissom leaned further forward and wrapped his fingers around hers. -'Ooh, I didn't expect that'- She watched in stunned silence.

"I bought them and you've eaten the others, so gimme." He chuckled and pulled her hand to his mouth. He watched her eyes as he slowly bit into the biscuit and broke a piece off, his lips brushing her fingers. -'Where the hell did that come from Gil? God she tastes good'-

Sara pulled the remaining biscuit back and finished it. She smiled at him and leaned forward quickly to kiss his cheek. "This isn't appropriate Professor." She whispered.

-'This isn't good'- Grissom let out a ragged breath and turned his head to capture her lips with his. Sara was surprised at his action, but wasn't willing to pull away just yet. She, instead, leaned into him and kissed him back. Running his tongue across her bottom lip, he pushed it into her mouth. Duelling gently, tongues rubbed against each other, tasting and storing how good it felt.

Sara ran her right hand down his face to rest at the back of his neck. The rhythm of the kiss intensified as Sara held his head to hers and deepened the kiss. Grissom groaned and pulled her body closer to his as he sat back against the couch arm. Sara's body stretched against his as she straddled his thighs, her knees pressing into the couch as she pressed her body into his. She moaned softly into his mouth as his hands ran up the back of her thighs to rest on her ass. His fingers squeezed the flesh, eliciting another moan from the woman on top of him.

The kiss slowed, the only reason was the need to breathe. Sara looked into his eyes as she brushed her thumbs over his red cheeks. "I'm sorry." She whispered. -'That so, shouldn't have happened'- She leaned her head forward to touch his as she slowed her breathing.

Grissom wrapped his arms around her waist and held her against him. "Don't be." He breathed, opening his eyes to see her. -'I'm not gonna like this next bit am I?'-

She nodded and nuzzled his cheek with her nose. She took in a shallow breath and pushed away from him. Standing on unsteady feet, she licked her lips, still tasting him. "I should go."

"You don't have too." He sat up and watched as she collected her things together. "Sara. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. Please don't be mad at me." -'I knew it, I've ruined it'-

Sara looked up from her bag and smiled. "Why would I be mad?"

He sighed and rubbed his face, not seeing her smile. "I'm your tutor. I shouldn't have kissed you. I understand if you want to change that."

She moved to sit back on the couch and pulled his hands from his face. "Gil, I'm not changing anything. I'm just not willing to hurt either of us by starting something more. We could both get in deep trouble if we let that kiss continue."

Grissom took a long breath and smiled. "So." He started, reaching out to push her hair over her shoulder. "Miss Sidle. What are you doing on Tuesday?" -'Steer the subject somewhere else, that's it, good idea. God, I miss her lips already'-

Sara grinned and continued to pack her things up. "This weekend, I'm going back to Tamales Bay, but Tuesday I'm seeing my college professor."

He chuckled. "Ah, what's on the agenda?"

She looked up at him and smiled. "If we meet in the library, then none of this can get out of hand. What do you say?"

Grissom nodded and walked her to the door. "I say yes, but don't forget to finish your assignment before Monday."

Sara sighed. "Fine, fine, just don't be late." She opened the door. "Oh!" She stopped and looked back at him as she adjusted the bag strap on her shoulder. "You need milk."

He grinned. "Thank you." He watched her walk away and once she was out of sight, he sighed and leaned back against the closed door.

-'God that was so close'- He pulled on his pants and brushed out the creases. His body was still buzzing from their heated embrace on the couch. He groaned and threw his head back and hit the door. "Ouch shit!"

FOR ONE WEEK they met at the library. They sat at a distance for appearances and not to let people see them too close. It wasn't like they tried to get close, but it just happened a few times. An innocent touch or brush of skin was electrifying. They both lost their breath when they touched and had to physically pull themselves apart. They did this for an entire week. No more diner visits or back to Grissom's apartment, just the library.

Grissom pulled his glasses off and placed the finished paper on the table. Sara took it and read his notes he'd made on a separate piece of paper. "You can change bits if you want, but it's fine." He suggested.

Sara smiled and nodded. "I might change a few things." She said and started pulling out more notepaper. Grissom moved around the table and showed her some areas she needed to strengthen. -'He's way too close'-

Keeping her eyes glued to the paper, Sara tried to concentrate. She could see his body and his hands. She felt one on the back of her chair and the other was place at the top of her notepad. She couldn't stop looking at his hands, thinking that they were all over her body the other week. She closed her eyes and tried to push the thought away.

-'She's closed her eyes. She's struggling as much as I am'- He leaned forward slightly and watched as his breath disturbed some of her hair by her ear. "God, I want to kiss you." He whispered, his eyes closing at the intensity of his need.

She didn't open her eyes when she heard him. "You can't, not here." Sara reminded. They both knew the huge risks if they let a second kiss proceed. She couldn't put his job in danger or her future.

"I know." He sighed, looking around the library at the hoards of students. Reaching across her, he picked up a textbook. His arm brushed against her breasts as he pulled his hand back. He watched as she breathed in deeply at the contact. He opened the book as he whispered close to her ear. "I want to taste you again." -'Jesus, what's gotten into me?'-

Sara's eyes were squeezed shut as she listened to the deep tenor of his voice. She could fell his heat radiating off of him. She could feel his breath on her face as he spoke.

"I want to feel your skin again." He looked up to see if anyone was watching. They were in the corner of the library where it was very quiet and very secluded. There was a view of the main area where students were reading in groups, but from a distance, they couldn't be seen very well. "I want to pin you against a wall and devour your sweet lips." He closed his eyes and tentatively brushed his lips over her neck.

"Griss, not here." She moaned quietly. -'I don't know if I'll have the strength to stop this time'-

He kissed her again and reached for her leg under the table. "I want you Sara."

-'Oh, hell with it!'- She turned her head and caught his lips in a heated kiss. Pulling away quickly, she pushed away from the table and started packing her things away. Grissom helped and as they made their way towards the exit, Grissom placed a library book on the librarian's desk.

THEY ROUNDED THE building and being night-time, the shadows looked very inviting at this present time. Grissom grabbed Sara's bag and dropped it on the floor as he quickly pulled her into the shadows and pinned her against the wall. Sara watched his eyes as he pushed his knee between her legs and spread them. He stepped closer and teased her mouth with his. His breath bouncing off her lips as he stared into her eyes.

"You realise how long I've waited to kiss you, Sara?" She shook her head slowly, never breaking eye contact. "I've waited so long and when I finally kiss you, we stopped and I wanted to die right there and then."

She looked down at his lips and whimpered slightly as he barely brushed his against hers. "Gil!" She tried to lean her head forward to kiss him, but he continued to tease her.

He smiled, asking softly. "You want to kiss me now, Sara?"

She closed her eyes and leaned her head to rest on his. "Yes!" She whispered.

"Tell me again. Do you want to kiss me?" His voice was gravely, yet teasing.

She groaned. "I want to kiss you, Gil, please…"

Grissom linked both their hands and pushed them against the wall as he ground his hips into hers and delighted in her moans. His mouth closed in on hers and he immediately thrust his tongue past her lips.

Sara moaned into his mouth and squeezed her fingers around his as he pushed them. -'God, he feels so good.'- She duelled her tongue with his and smiled against his mouth as he groaned quietly.

He pulled back and kissed her once, softly. "Come back to mine." He pleaded. "Please Sara, one night." He released her hands. One hand reached around and squeezed her ass, while the over cupped her cheek.

She looked into his eyes and leaned into his hand. "This won't go away will it?" She moaned as he pulled her towards him at the waist.

"No." He breathed against her lips. "I've watched you for months and I can't hold back any more."

Sara closed her eyes as he kissed her lips lightly, brushing them so gently it tickled. "I've watched you too, but we could get into so much trouble Gil."

Grissom closed his eyes and kissed the corner of her mouth, then her cheek, and then her neck. He leaned his head on her shoulder and held her tightly to him. His hands locked around her waist as he leaned into her against the wall. He waited, it was her choice. He didn't want to push her; he wanted her to make the first move to take what they had, further. -'Please Sara!'-

"If we go now, no one will see me leave with you." She suggested, running her hands up his back.

He pulled back and looked around. Seeing no one, he grasped her hand and picked up her bag. "We'll take my car. No one will see us then." He led the way towards the car park and to his car.

HIS DOOR OPENED slowly as he flicked the switch on. Light pushed the darkness to the walls as they walked through the living room towards the bedroom.

Sara looked down at their entwined hands then back up as he opened the bedroom door. -'One night? I don't know if I could do that. I wish so much, that I could tell him how I feel'- Grissom turned and walked backwards towards his bed. He pulled on her hand, but stopped when she looked down at their hands again.

"Sara?" He whispered gently and stepped towards her. He stroked her cheek softly as he looked into her eyes. "We don't have to, if you don't want to. I'm not forcing you."

Sara closed her eyes against his touch and sighed. "I was just thinking…it's nothing." She slowly opened her eyes and smiled as she stepped closer to him.

Slowly, they leaned into each other, each taking their time to initiate the kiss. Grissom tentatively brushed his lips over hers once and pulled back slightly. Sara watched his eyes darken as she opened her mouth a little and kissed his lips lightly. Grissom's eyes closed as she brushed them against his again with more pressure.

Grissom released her hand and placed his on her hips. He returned the slow soft kisses as his hands explored her back. Sara's hands pushed up his arms to clutch the fabric of his shirt. Her eyes were closed against the sensations of his hands and his lips on her. He felt incredible and they were still fully clothed.

-'I wish I could tell her how much I care for her. I haven't even known her long'- He sighed as he pulled her body against his. Sara leaned into him and pushed her arms around his neck as she nudged her tongue into his mouth. Grissom sucked and tasted her before giving her his tongue and deepening the kiss.

Sara moaned into his mouth as he pressed his hips against hers. Grissom slipped his hand into her jeans and cupped her ass softly as he kneaded the flesh. She moved her hands down his chest and pulled his shirt from his pants. She started at the bottom as she pulled the shirt from his body. Grissom shivered against her hands on his bare chest.

Grissom stepped back slowly, his mouth the last to leave her. He unbuttoned his pants as he kicked off his shoes. Sara pulled her shirt over her head and pulled at her pants until they both stood in their underwear. Grissom grasped her hand and pulled her to the bed. He pulled the covers back.

Sara turned him to her as she leaned in and kissed him. His hands pulled her body closer as he unclasped her bra and let it slide from her body. Turning them, he lowered Sara to the bed. His body lay beside hers as his right hand traced her ever curve. His left held her neck as he strongly, but gently kissed her.

His hand ran over her stomach to stop on her thigh. Sara's legs moved as she pulled her left knee up slightly. Grissom's hand wrapped around her thigh and started kneading the soft flesh. Sara moaned into his mouth as he pushed his right leg over hers and covered her body with his.

Slowly breaking away from the kiss, Grissom's mouth travelled down her body to cover one breast. Sara's back arched up, silently begging him not to stop. Her hands were in his hair, holding him to her. She was moaning continuously as his tongue traced around the nipple and his teeth nibbled lightly.

Giving the same attention to the other breast, his hand left her thigh to squeeze her breast gently. Sara's head was pushed into the pillow with her mouth hanging slightly open. Moving over her, he licked her bottom lip. She opened her eyes and looked up at him with black passion filled eyes.

He smiled at her and kissed her briefly before trailing kisses down her body, spending an eternity on her neck and collarbone, then her chest, missing her breasts completely. Sara whimpered and tried to move against his mouth, but his hands held her still.

Reaching his destination. He placed a single kiss over her junction. Slipping two fingers into the waistband, he pulled her panties down her legs. Clutching them in his hand, he breathed in the sent of her. Tossing the underwear to the floor, he pushed her legs apart and moved to kneel between them.

Sara watched him as his hands ran over her legs, caressing them tenderly. She grasped the sheets in anticipation and gasped when his mouth followed his hands up her thighs to her centre. Whimpering lightly as he pulled away, she looked down at him as he threw his boxers away and started to crawl up her body.

He stopped as his face hovered inches from her. He looked into her eyes. She ran one hand down the side of his face and saw the question in his eyes. The question that asked her if she wanted to continue this. -'I could never say no to this man.'- She smiled softly and raised her head off the pillow to kiss his partially open mouth.

His eyes never left hers as he eased himself into her, his right hand pulling at her leg to raise it slightly. Sara moaned as she took him completely in. She almost cried at the tenderness that he showed her. His body stilled as he filled her. She couldn't hold her eyes open any longer and closed them slowly.

Grissom held himself above her body, either side of her arms. Sara's hands lightly gripped his back as he pulled out of her slowly, only to slip back in with equal force. His eyes strained to focus on her face as his body screamed to increase his thrusts.

Sara's hands moved down his back to cover his ass. She pulled him slightly harder this time and started to meet him with each thrust. She raised her hips to deepen the contact. Grissom groaned as his momentum picked up with her own. Soon the rhythm increased and his hips were thrusting harder against hers.

Grunting with exertion, he held on for as long as he could. He was surprised he had held out this long. Burying his head in her neck, he continued to pound his body into hers. He could hear her panting breathe in his ear as she hummed out with each thrust.

Sara pressed her forehead against his shoulder as she screamed his name, muffled against his sweaty skin. Grissom cried out hers as he sloppily slammed into her with one last thrust, spilling his seed into her womb. She felt his release soak her walls as he collapsed completely on top of her.

She held him still as their sweaty, heated body's calmed and came down from the rush. Grissom weakly pushed himself up and pulled from her. His limp member rest against her thigh as he fell to the side of her sated body. He kissed her shoulder and pulled her into his body as he turned onto his side.

His arms wrapped around her from behind. His chest pressed against her back, their chest's still heaving. Sara pulled the covers over them and snuggled back against him. She felt his lips press a kiss to her damp hair as her breathing evened out and the exhaustion took her body over.

EARLY WEDNESDAY MORNING, the sun beamed through the shades throughout the apartment. The sound off the telephone broke the tranquillity of the silence, but not the people occupying the bedroom. The machine kicked in and took the message. At the sound of the beep, Sara started to stir. She turned onto her front and spread across the bed.

Grissom also moved onto his front and swung an arm over her lower back. He breathed out heavily through his nose and stretched against her body. Sara moaned sleepily and pulled her body into the foetal position. Grissom pulled her back to him as he moved closer to her.

Sara broke the sleeping spell and cracked open an eye, then the other as she looked across the bed to the window. She could see the trees from the small green outside and the blue sky beyond them. She pushed out her legs and turned in the arms of her mate. -'I could wake up with this man the rest of my life and never get bored'-

She draped one leg over his as she snuggled against his chest. Sara followed him as he turned to lie on his back. The clock on his nightstand came into view. Sara cursed and sat bolt upright. "SHIT!" She crawled over Grissom and grabbed her clothes.

Grissom rubbed his eyes and turned over to see what she was doing. "Sara, honey… come back to bed?" He moaned softly, reaching out his hand for her to take.

Sara sat on the bed as she buttoned up her jeans and pulled her shirt over her shoulders. "I've got class in 40 minutes." She told him regretfully. She didn't want to leave, but if she didn't go now, she'd be late.

Grabbing the shoe she was about to put on her foot, he tossed it to the ground and pulled her back into bed. He threw the cover over her and held her tightly. She giggled and tried to pull away. He chuckled and kissed her neck. "You'll get there. I'll drive you."

She sighed and stopped struggling. "That wouldn't be a great idea."

He kissed her neck again. "I'll make you something to eat while you take a shower. You'll be on time. I promise."

Sara gave in and settled back against him. "Seeing as you promised." She smiled.

-'If I could, I'd promise you the world'- He thought as he sighed contentedly.

PULLING UP TO the college building, Grissom parked and turned the engine off. He turned to Sara and watched as she looked through her bag. "On time." He smiled.

Sara smirked and turned her head towards him. "I guess."

He looked around and sighed. "I'll see you later."

She nodded and looked out the car window. "Last night..." She started and turned her eyes to him. He was looking at his hand on the bottom of the steering wheel.

"Yeah, last night, erm…" He breathed out unsteadily. -'She regrets it'-

-'He looks so scared'- Sara reached out and rubbed his hand lightly. "Last night was amazing." She watched as his head raised and his eyes shone.

He smiled warmly and pinned her thumb with his own. "Can I see you tonight?" He whispered, leaning forward slightly, but not getting close enough. He closed his eyes and breathed in the fresh scent of her.

"Yes." She smiled and squeezed his hand.

Grissom opened his eyes. "I'd kiss you…"

"I know." She breathed. "I'll see you later."

"Yeah." He nodded. He watched as she climbed out the car and closed the door before walking towards the college buildings. Only when she entered the building did he turn the ignition.

SARA OPENED HER apartment door that afternoon and dropped her bag on the couch. She wondered into the kitchen and opened the fridge. Pulling out a bottle of water, she cracked the lid and took a long gulp. Looking around the room, she sighed. -'I really need to clean up'-

After dusting, hovering, washing and ironing, Sara nodded in approval. -'Much better'- She smiled and decided to make something to eat. Making a quick ham sandwich, she sat on the couch and turned the TV on. After an hour, a knock on her door broke through the nose of the documentary she was watching.

Looking through the peephole, Sara unlocked the door and opened it. "Hey Ollie. What's up?" Ollie was her next door neighbour. She was a freshman, but a good laugh. Her real name is Olivia, but she liked Ollie.

Ollie grinned. "Hi Sara. Wanna go for a drink later? Sam and Martin will be there."

Sara smiled and shook her head. "I'd love to, but I got assignments due this week. Another time?"

Laughing. "Workaholic. Live a little. I'll tell the boys to wait on you then. We'll sort something for next week." She suggested, turning to leave.

"Sure thing Ollie. See ya." Sara closed the door and locked it. She smiled and shook her head. Grabbing her plate off the coffee table, she washed up the few things she'd used to make her sandwich and cleaned the units. As she was just about to sit down, another knock came on the door, a tentative knock at that. Checking the peephole again, Sara smiled. -'He's here'- Pulling the door open, Sara watched as he looked up nervously and smiled his half smile.

"Hey, sorry to intrude like this, but… erm… I wanted to see you." He shrugged. -'God, I feel like a teenager'-

-'So cute'- She nodded and stepped back. "Your welcome anytime Gil. Come in. You want something to drink, a beer?"

Grissom smiled. "That'd be great, thanks."

Sara sat on the couch and handed him his beer; she took a small swig of her own and set it on the table. She looked at him and watched as he stared at the bottle. "Gil?"

His head snapped up. "Yeah?"

"You ok, you seem… nervous?" She turned to sit on her right leg and leaned into the couch with her right arm resting on the back, her hand near his neck.

"I'm fine… and I'm a little nervous." He chuckled and shrugged. "I'm… not sure why."

Sara looked at her hand as she moved her fingers over the top of his collar. "Am I making you nervous, because… I thought we settled that when we first met."

Grissom nodded. -'You have no idea how nervous I am, trying to keep all the emotions at bay and not scare you away'- He turned towards her and held her wrist as she continued to play with his collar. "I'm nervous of you… because I'm not sure what last night… meant, to you." His voice was quiet as he tried to push the words out. His throat felt tight and her hand was not helping matters.

She smiled and looked down at his beer. She took it with her left hand and placed it on the table next to hers. "Last night was amazing. I told you that. I suppose I should have said that I didn't want it to be just one night." She looked up and looked into his eyes. "You're not the only one who's waited to see what happens. You're my teacher and my friend. I was afraid you'd just keep it that way." She tilted her head slightly as she dropped her eyes to his mouth. "I'm actually glad you made the first move, because I wasn't sure if I could."

Grissom chuckled. "You asked me out to the diner. I don't think I would have done that, probably when I could work up the courage..." He reached up and pushed some hair behind her ear. "And the cookie thing, that was your fault." He mockingly teased.

Sara laughed and mock gasped with horror. "How can you say that? I was eating it first."

"You kissed me first." He pointed out.

She blushed slightly. "On the cheek. You kissed me."

He shrugged. "I'm impatient at times. Something's are just impulse when I want something I can't have."

"Oh." She nodded her head slowly and moved closer. She turned and leaned against him as his arm wrapped around her shoulders. "You mean like this?" She turned her head up and cupped the back of his neck, pulling him down to kiss him.

"Hmmm, yeah." He murmured and kissed her back.

FOR TWO MONTHS they spent every day together. Grissom would teach and Sara would go to her classes, but in the evenings and weekends they spent hours; watching documentaries on the couch, eating at the diner, talking, and making love every night, whether it be Grissom's or Sara's apartment.

Sara sat down and looked across the room. Her friends were sitting beside her and had been watching her carefully for the past few weeks. One leaned over and whispered in her ear. "Who's this new man you're spending all your time with Sara?" She grinned and pulled back to her own seat.

Shifting uncomfortably, Sara looked down at her notes and pulled out her pen. Looking back up, she saw him walk into the room and head straight to his desk. "Ok," He started, setting his briefcase down. "Your papers can be collected at the end." He looked around the room and quickly scanned the front row. He dimmed the lights and looked back at the white wall. "Today is fingerprint identification. This will sometimes give you quick ID's of the victim or the killer."

Grissom turned to look at the students and saw Sara looking down at her notebook. She wasn't writing, she was reading something. She picked it up, screwed it into a ball and tossed it to the floor while sending an evil look to someone in the room. "Can I have everyone's attention please. You might actually learn something useful." He turned back as Sara's head snapped back towards him.

During the end of the session, Grissom turned to the class as he placed a small tin on the desk and pulled out a piece of paper. "A volunteer please." He looked around the room and referred to the seating plan he hadn't revised completely yet, but he didn't need the plan for this name. "Sidle, Sara."

Sara looked up from her inspection of her desk and narrowed her eyes at him, he waved her to come forward and as she slowly stood, he turned his back and pulled out a blank piece of paper. Sara stopped at his desk and looked down at it. The first thing she saw was the note he was writing. He turned back to the class and started talking. Sara read it and sighed.

- What's wrong? What was on that note? Talk to me later -

Grissom's voice brought her back to reality as he turned and picked up a piece of white card. "This is how you should collect a suspects prints. It takes time and practice, so don't rush and don't worry if it doesn't look great the first time. A few tries and you'll get it." He showed the class how to do it first and showed them Sara's prints. He then set them in pairs to fingerprint each other.

SARA WALKED OUT of the classroom with her friends chatting in her ear. She couldn't make half of it out with them all speaking at once. Ted, Jacque and Hannah were loud, but could also be quiet and in this case it was quiet and annoying whispers. Ted smiled at Sara and she returned it.

"I'm glad you found someone Sara. It's good to see you're not completely obsessed with studying." Ted said consolingly.

Sara nodded and looked away. -'It's starting already. What the hell am I going to tell him?'-

Hannah nudged her gently and grinned. "Is it Sam or Martin. Ollie said you were going out a few months ago, but cancelled. One of the boys didn't show either."

Jacque chuckled lightly. "Martin's cute. He hasn't been around for a while. Tire him out or something Sara?"

Sara sighed and looked down at the floor. She pushed the door open and walked down the path. "I'll see you tomorrow guys." She said softly and turned to walk towards her apartment.

TWO BLOCKS AND few roads later, she pushed her key into the lock and as she was about to open the door, someone cleared their throat, she didn't realise anyone was there until she turned and saw a well built, short blonde, muscular, male. Someone she didn't know and didn't want to know by the looks of him. He's wearing brown slacks with a white shirt and brown jacket.

"Hi, Can I help you?" Sara asked polity.

The man nodded and stepped forward. Sara eyed him cautiously. "Yes. I was wondering if you'd like to go out tomorrow night?"

Sara blinked once in surprise. "Excuse me? Go out, with you? I'm sorry, but I don't know you and I'm already seeing someone." She turned back to her door and pushed it open.

"Yes, I know that." He chuckled. Sara looked back at him and was suddenly becoming very nervous.

-'What the hell is he on about?'- "Then why ask me out?" She waited and watched as he looked behind him and Sara quietly closed her door again and heard the lock click. She didn't like this man.

He leaned forward slightly. "My friend Gil. You're sleeping with him. You realise what that would do to his career and yours?"

Sara swallowed hard and looked down. Her heart was beating overtime and her body felt weak. "I don't know what you're talking about. Who are you?" She asked, finding the courage to look at him and not look too intimidated.

"I'm your reminder that you should be careful. The head hears about this and you'll both be booted." He gave a smug grin and stepped closer to her.

"What do you want?" She choked out, trying to keep her breathing even.

The man leered at her body and laughed as she shifted under his eyes. "You'll know soon. Don't even think about saying anything, because if you do, I'll tell." He grinned. "If you stay quiet and do as I say, you can keep the romance going." He shrugged his large shoulders and raised his hand to her cheek. Sara flinched, but kept her eyes on the ground. He patted her cheek. "Good. I'll collect another time." With that, he turned and walked away.

Sara hurriedly unlocked her door and once it was closed, slid down it to the floor. -'Collect?'- She dropped her head into her knees as she held them close to her chest and cried.

HE PULLED AT the paper until it was flat. Grissom was at his apartment and trying to make sense of what happened today. Sara was acting strange and avoiding any and all contact with him. Pushing the note he saw Sara throw away, he tried to make out what it said.

- Boyfriends a bit old isn't he Sara

What would the dean say?

Working to the top huh?

I wouldn't mind some of what you're offering

His chest felt tight as he reread the note. He knew that handwriting, but he couldn't place it. He pulled his glasses off and rubbed his eyes. -'Oh God!'- He stood and grabbed his keys.

ON HIS WAY to Sara's apartment, he saw a friend. Pulling up to the curb, he rolled down the window. "Hey Mark, you're a bit far from home aren't you?" Grissom asked.

Mark leaned in the window slightly and chuckled. "I know, just talking to some student. I'll catch you later for a beer." Grissom nodded and waited for Mark to start walking before driving away.

Grissom parked and locked his car. Looking at the door to her apartment, he sighed. -'It was all starting, what am I going to tell her?'-

SARA JUMPED AT the sound of a knock on her door. She was still sitting on the floor. Wiping her eyes, she pushed herself up and looked through the peephole. She stepped back and looked away. Another knock. Reaching for the lock, she hesitated. Wiping her eyes again, she unlocked the door.

-'He can't see me like this'- Turning, she started to walk away. "I'll be back in a minute." She said softly and walked towards the bathroom.

Grissom closed the door quietly and watched her. He could see her slumped shoulders and her heavy step. -'It's really got to her'-

Standing outside the bathroom, he waited. Sara opened the door slowly and looked at him with tired eyes. He held up the note and watched as she instantly dropped her eyes to the floor. "Sara." He pulled her to him and wrapped his arms around her. "You should have told me." He whispered.

-'As long as he believes it's the note, then he can't be hurt.'- She held him so tight; she could feel his heart against her chest. "I'm sorry." She said softly. "You can't do anything anyway. It's just someone being stupid. It's nothing."

Grissom pulled back slightly and cupped her cheek. "This isn't someone being stupid Sara. It's someone threatening you."

"You can't do anything Gil. You could lose your job and I could be thrown out of college." She took his hand from her cheek and pulled him towards the bedroom. "Hold me while I sleep. I'm so tired."

Pulling the covers over her tired form, Grissom held her close as she snuggled into his chest. As she slept, Grissom watched her with concerned eyes. He brushed her hair back and ran his fingers over her cheek. Something was bothering her, something more than the note.

THE NIGHT WAS still here, keeping the apartment in darkness. The clock read that it was two in the morning. Grissom was still holding her close. She never wanted him to leave. She'd never told him how much he meant to her, but he hadn't mentioned anything either.

If that man came back… she was so scared of the thought. He'd threatened her. What was she supposed to do? She can't report him. He never gave a name and if they did find him, he'd report them. Grissom would be fired and Sara would have to leave college. She can't let any of that happen.

The past two months have been the best time of her life. She'd never been so connected with someone. He listened, joked, talked, played and loved her. She knew on some level that he loved her, but she knew for certain, that she loved him to the core of her being. She just didn't want to scare him off by saying so.

Grissom pulled her back closer to his chest and kissed her neck. "Why are you awake?" He whispered.

Sara smiled. He always knew when she wasn't sleeping. She could tell when he wasn't. It was the sound of their breathing, she thought. Turning slowly, she pushed him onto his back and loomed over him slightly. She smiled down at him and moved her left leg to between his.

He ran his hands down her arms and pulled her lower. He raised his head from the pillow and kissed her softly. Sara giggled against his mouth and pulled away. She looked down at his chest and cocked an eyebrow at him. "Why are you fully clothed?"

Grissom chuckled and kissed her lips quickly before he jumped out of bed and pulled his clothes off. He sent her a wide smile and jumped back onto the bed, pinning her to the mattress. Sara's fingers pushed through his curls as he gazed into her eyes.

"Sara." He whispered, looking into her eyes.

She smiled and stilled her hands in his hair. "Yeah."

Grissom closed his eyes briefly, then opened them with what looked like pure concern. Sara's eyes matched his as he tried to find the words. Her hands moved to his shoulders as his fingers brushed her arms. He looked down and stared at her chest. The white t-shirt catching his attention. "I…" He started and took a deep breath before looking back at her eyes. "I really care about you Sara." He breathed.

Sara nodded. "I know. I care about you too." She said quietly, smiling up at him.

He nodded and bit his lower lip. "You know, you can talk to me, right?"

"Yes." She whispered.

"If that note is worrying you more than you're letting on, you'd let me know, wouldn't you?" He asked.

Sara looked at him, then suddenly away. "Yeah." -'Wasn't a lie really. The note wasn't bothering me'-

Grissom turned his head to see her turned away eyes and watched her for a few minutes. She turned her head and looked at him. He smiled softly and nodded. "Ok, but any time you want to talk to me. I'm here." He kissed her lips lightly and pulled back.

Sara grasped his arms and grinned. "Where are you going?"

He chuckled. "Bathroom."

Her grin widened as she nodded and giggled. "Oh! Sorry." She let him go and watched him walk from the room.

When he returned, Sara was on her front. He could see that her shirt was on the floor by his clothes and the sheet covering her small thin body, left a great proportion of her back bare. Crawling up the bed slowly, he leaned down on all fours and trailed soft wet kisses up her spine.

Sara moaned and turned her head. She looked at him and smiled. "What are you doing?" She asked with a giggle.

Grissom lightly nipped her shoulder when he reached it and looked into her eyes as he ran his right hand up her thigh to rest on her hip. He kissed her cheek before moving to kiss her lips. He pushed himself up and let her turn over. Sara tried to pull at the sheet to remove it, but Grissom pressed himself into her.

"Leave it." He whispered with lust in his voice. He attached his lips to hers and kissed her with tenderness as his legs straddled her thighs. He pulled from her lips and smiled at her whimper. She tried to pull him down, but he chuckled and grasped her wrists. He raised them both above her head and moved to hold them both with his left hand.

Sara's eyes burned with passion as his right hand pushed between her legs. The sheet moved with his hand as he rubbed lightly over her centre. Her hips tried to move against him, but his weight on her legs refrained her from doing so.

Throwing her head back, she moaned loudly. "Gil please!"

Moving over her, he pushed his throbbing erection hard against her centre and groaned. He looked into her eyes and lightly rained kisses over every inch of her face. His hips slowly humped her body as he explored her neck with his mouth and left his mark between her shoulder and neck.

Pulling her hands from his grasp, Sara pushed him back. His head was now at the foot of the bed. The sheet folded over on itself as she climbed on top of him. She reunited their lips as she joined them together. Grissom's back lifted up from the bed as she pushed back hard. He cried out her name as he pulled her closer to his chest.

Running his hands down her back, he grasped her hips and moved with her. Meeting her movements with his hands pulling her harder down on him. Sara broke away from his lips and gasped his name. She pushed her hands over his chest and rode him hard.

Grissom's head pushed into the mattress and thrust his hips up. A deep groan escaped his throat as he felt himself nearing the edge. He quickly turned them; his arms held him above her. His head bowed down and his grunts with the each thrust got louder.

Sara screamed his name and hoped her neighbours didn't hear her. She pulled his head up and plunged her tongue into his mouth. Gasping for breaths as his hips moved faster, her fingers dug into his shoulders as he released and she came with him.

Both sweating and panting, they held each other close as the buzz of their bodies tore through them. Grissom kissed her lips softly, tasting her tongue and pulling her bottom lip into his mouth. He moaned quietly and pulled from her. Wet and warm, they moved to the top of the bed and collapsed into the pillows.

Grissom wrapped his arms around Sara and held her loosely. His strength gone and his body tired, he listened to her breathing and soon they both became quiet and only the sounds of their soft shallow breathes could be heard as they slept, spent, in each others arms.

SHE WOKE TO a strange sensation. It felt like feathers dancing over her stomach, she giggled and tried to pull away, but the sensation stopped and she felt an arm pull her back. Realising it was his fingers tickling her, she pushed back into his body and sighed as he placed a small kiss on her neck and nuzzled her hair.

"Morning." He murmured into her ear, kissing the shell lightly.

Revelling in the sweet torture, she stayed still and moaned softly. "Have I told you that you are a master of delicious torture Professor Grissom?"

He groaned against the back of her ear and kissed the sensitive skin. "Not recently." He murmured.

She smiled and turned onto her back. Grissom moved to place his right arm over her and lifted himself up. His head dipped as he teased her lips. "Do you have a problem with me being a professor Sara?" He asked quietly, but seriously, keeping his lips a whisper from hers.

Not even attempting to open her eyes, she smiled and kissed him lightly. "No." She answered honestly. "Do you have a problem with me being a student Gil?" -'Please say no, please say no'-

"No." He breathed, kissing her passionately, but gently.

A few minutes later, a soft pounding interrupted them. Grissom pulled back slightly and questioned her with his eyes. She smiled. "Someone's at the door."

He nodded and rolled off her. Just before she could put her foot on the floor. Grissom grabbed her hips and pulled her back. She giggled and looked up at him as she landed on his chest. He leaned down and kissed her at the odd angle before letting her go. She laughed as she climbed back to her feet and walked towards the door, grabbing her night-gown as she went. -'God she's so sexy'- He smiled to himself.

Checking the peephole, she grinned and opened the door. "Hey Ollie. You're up early." Sara took in her friend and noticed her all smiley and happy personality.

Ollie pushed her hair behind her ears and smiled. "Hi Sara. Yeah, sorry it's early and I know you haven't got class or anything, but you promised me-"

Sara snapped her fingers as she clocked onto to Ollie's presence. "Physics Revision Book?"

"Yup. I was gonna come by last night, but with Dr. Grissom here-" Sara's eyes widened at the name. -'Shit!'- Ollie waved a dismissive hand as she continued. "Hey, it's ok with me." She assured. -'Oh Shit!'- Sara still looked uncomfortable. "I swear and I won't say a thing. I think it's great. Hope he's worth it Sara. He's cute though." Ollie chuckled and took the book as Sara numbly handed it to her. "Lips are sealed. I promise. Don't worry."

"Thanks Ollie. You're the best." Sara finally said.

Just as Ollie went to turn, she remembered something. "Erm… yesterday… did that guy hurt you, because he's a real sleaze?"

Sara was confused for a few seconds, but then realised who she was talking about, moving slightly out the door, she leaned into Ollie. "Can you do me a favour Ollie?" She nodded. "If he comes back, just jump in at anytime. He's bad news and I'd rather not be alone with him."

"Ok. I'll help, but if he turns bad, I'm calling the police." Ollie warned, but with a smile.

"That's fine… I think… Just help us out if he does." Sara hugged Ollie. "Thanks."

"I'll see you tomorrow at the party." Ollie hugged her back.

Sara laughed. "For a few minutes. I promise I'll drop in."

"Good." Ollie started walking towards her car.

Sara watched as she drove off and into the distance. Taking one glance around, Sara turned and went back inside. She smiled as Grissom walked from the bathroom with a towel around his waist and a coffee in one hand. "You didn't shower without me did you?"

He chuckled. "Nope. Just made us coffee while you talked to… Ollie."

She smiled and met him at the end of the couch. "Ollie knows about you and promises to not tell a soul. I believe her." Sara placed her hand on his chest as she wrapped her other hand around his holding the cup and looked into his eyes as she drank some.

"If you do, so do I." He whispered, leaning forward and kissing her lips. "I've got class." He murmured.

"Let's have that shower then. I've got papers to write and a professor to please." She grinned as he pulled away with a huge smile.

-'WHAT THE HELL am I going to tell her?'- He groaned silently and dropped his head into his hands. He had just got off the phone to his boss from Las Vegas. He was needed to cut his teaching short for a few days. A case was getting out of hand and the bugs they collected at the crime scene were starting to confuse them. -'I can't just leave, I can't just up and leave without an explanation'-

Climbing out of his car that afternoon, he tried to run through his head what he was going to tell her. -'This is gonna be a mess. I can feel it'- And at this point in time, he didn't know his thoughts would soon become reality. In the wings, a few hundred yards away, stood a tall, muscular man in a brown suit. Watching the professors every move.

Grissom knocked lightly on the door and waited. His eyes and nerves relaxed when he saw her standing in blue baggy shorts and a white t-shirt. A pencil was fixed behind her right ear, her hair was held in a loose ponytail, and she looked as beautiful as ever. Finding his voice, he cleared his throat and smiled warmly. "Hey."

Sara smirked. "Stop checking me out." She knew that look as soon as she opened the door. -'Who's he trying to fool?'- His eyes instantly dropped to her bare feet, long legs and then slowly the rest of her body came into view. She shook her head and reached for his hand. "Come in."

He smiled and shook his head. Squeezing her hand, he pulled her close to him. His foot kicked the door shut as his lips sought out hers. Kissing her tenderly, he regretted the conversation that he had to initiate and ruin her hopes for anything for the next few days.

"Honey?" He whispered, pulling her into a warm hug. His head leaned against hers and he closed his eyes and tried to push the words out. "I need to tell you something." When she pulled away, he saw the confusion and then something that resembled fear. He narrowed his eyes slightly in question, but she seemed to mask it well when she looked down.

"Where are you going?" She asked quietly.

Grissom sighed. "You are way too good at reading me."

Sara gave a small smile and raised one eyebrow. She softly poked him in the chest. "I don't know what your gonna say." She reminded; telling him that she didn't know him all that well, just yet.

-'She knows me more than she knows'- He nodded. "I have to go to Vegas for a few days. Just to help on a case. Then, I'll come back." His hand reached out for hers and lightly ran his index finger over hers. "I promise I'll come back." He sighed and looked down. "I'm sorry you have to stay here alone."

Sara stepped closer and leaned against his body. "I wish I could go with you." She whispered. -'God! Take me with you, please!'- Her mind screamed out to him. She didn't want to be alone.

Grissom gently rubbed her back and closed his eyes. "I know you don't want to stay here alone. Why don't you stay with Ollie, or go visit your parents?" He knew the last wasn't a sane suggestion, but it was better than being alone. Her parents were ex-hippies and Sara had mentioned that she could only handle a day or two at the most, but he'll be gone for at least four days.

-'I suppose that's one way'- She mused and held him tighter. "When are you leaving?" She asked softly.

"Tonight." He murmured with disgust. "I really don't want to go. I do wish I could take you with me."

She smiled into his shoulder at his childlike whining and turned her head to kiss him. "You promise to ring me?"

Grissom pulled back and grinned. "Definitely." He sealed that promise with a long lingering kiss. Sara pulled the pencil from her ear and let it drop to the floor. Moaning into her mouth, he pushed her backwards. "You mentioned something before I left this morning." He said as he attacked her neck.

Sara giggled and pushed her hands up his back. "Come with me." She whispered seductively.

OUTSIDE THE APARTMENT, a man still stood, but not a few hundred yards away this time. He stood outside the apartment complex with an evil grin on his face. He moved up to the building and did the unthinkable. -'She isn't going to know what hit her'-

Ollie was walking back from her car with a pile of books in one hand and her bag on her shoulder. She looked up from her assignment sheet on top of her books and saw a shadow leaning into one of Sara's windows. She looked closer, but still couldn't make out who it was. When she reached the path, the figure had disappeared and nothing was there. Shrugging it off, she walked up to her apartment door. -'Just my imagination'-

GRISSOM WAS ON his way back to Harvard. He'd helped make sense of an outstanding case and was free to return to his teaching within the third day. His cell had lost his signal after leaving Vegas, but his pager was working just fine. He was pulling into his apartment complex car park when he saw snow starting to fall. -'I swear it was summer yesterday'-

Pushing on his door, he pulled his key from the lock and shifted his hold-all just inside the hall. -'Home sweet home'- He sighed as he looked around the quiet room. The first thing to do was to check his messages. Seeing a high number displayed, he groaned. -'It's all work, I can tell'-

'Hey, this is Joyce from the dean's secretary office, he'd like to discuss your classes for the fresh students this coming term-' -'Yes, yes, very interesting, good thing I've got the choice to continue teaching this semester'-

'Hey-' -'Sara'- He smiled and leaned against the wall. 'I'm missing you so much. My mom says hi and to come back and look after me. I went to see them for one day. It's all I could take. See you soon and I'll be waiting by the phone when you get in.' -'It's good that I've rang her every night, I missed her too much not too, but she doesn't know I'm back'-

'Gil, you know who it is, give us a ring and we'll catch a beer' -'Mark? Why would he be ringing me? He's supposed to be working in Washington'-

Three more messages from the deans office and one from the lab. -'Aren't I the popular one?'-

'Grissom? You there?' -'Ollie?'- Grissom's heart went into overdrive as he stood up straight. 'Please pick up. If you aren't home, call me. Sara's at the hospital-'

"Oh God!" He waited for the number and instantly dialled it. "What happened?" He asked before Ollie could speak.

HE GETS TO the hospital in time to see a female nurse leaving the room he'd been instructed Sara was in. "How is she?" He asked as the she walked towards him.

"And you are?" She inquired.

"Gil Grissom, Sara's partner."

Not realising he didn't know anything, she smiled warmly. "She's a fighter. After what she's been through, I'm surprised." Grissom nodded, not really knowing what had happened. Before he reached the door, the nurse turned and said. "For someone who was raped, she's dealing with it, but she'll need to see the department psychiatrist."

Grissom stared at the door with a horrified look on his face. He let the nurse past before turning back to the door and leaning his head against it with his palm holding him up on the frame. "Oh god!" He partially sobbed with a gasp. -'Not Sara, Please…'-

SARA CURLED TIGHTER into a ball when she heard someone enter the room. Her back was to the door, cutting off anyone who wanted to talk to her. She really didn't want to see anyone right now.

"Sara."

She flinched at the sound of his voice and refused to move. She could feel him moving towards her and her instincts hit in. "GO away!"

Grissom stopped and stared at her back. He knew how some rape victims acted and reacted from working the cases. He could sense Sara was shutting him out with her cocoon of blankets as a shield. Feeling his heart pounding against his chest painfully, he tried again.

"Ollie rang me." He timidly informed her.

Closing her eyes tightly, she shivered against the imaginary cold. -'Please, hold me Gil'- Her heart screamed. -'Take me away from this awful place'-

"Sara." He called again.

She heard is voice break and knew he was crying. It broke her heart to hear him crying. She felt the bed tip slightly as he perched on the edge. She choked on her tears and sat up quickly to wrap her arms around him. "Gil!" She cried.

Grissom wrapped his arms tighter around her and kissed her hair. "I'm here." He whispered. "I'm right here."

Sara squashed him as she clung to his warmth. "Never let me go, please don't let me go." She pleaded between sobs.

"Never!" He whispered hoarsely. "Never." He repeated, rubbing her back soothingly. His face pushed into the blankets that wrapped around her to hide his tears. -'How could someone do this?- His mind screamed at him as he held her shaking body in his arms.

SARA WAS RELEASED after seeing the psychiatrist. She didn't like it and chose not to go again. Being asked questions about emotions and about what happened didn't make her comfortable. She wanted to forget and get back to normal.

Grissom had done everything he could to not touch her will telling her exactly where they were going and what he was going to do. He didn't want to scare her, seeing her jumpy when he touched her a few times since her release, had pained him too much to repeat his actions.

-'Where am I going? Where is he taking me?'- Sara panicked as she looked from the window to the man driving.

Glancing at her briefly before returning his attention to the road, he saw the confusion in her eyes. "It's ok Sara. I'm taking you to my apartment. You can stay there for a few days, more if you want."

-'Now I remember. He told me when the doctor left. I hope he doesn't ask me'- Turning her head back to look out the window, she couldn't stop the thought that she had let him down.

"OK, YOU KNOW where everything is." He smiled playfully as he opened the door to his apartment. "I haven't been shopping yet, but that wouldn't take long to stop by the store."

-'She looks so lost. What happened to my Sara?'- Pushing the thoughts away, Grissom continued to walk toward the bedroom. Stopping briefly, he thought about one of the long nights they stayed here together. They had been working on an assignment involving 'placed evidence', but it was interrupted with a passionate kiss and ended in the bedroom.

-'I'll sleep on the couch'- Resuming his journey, he placed her bag on the bed and retreated to the kitchen. "I'll just go to the store."

Sara looked up at him from where she stood in the hallway. -'What if he comes back? I'll be on my own again'- Feeling the tremor stream through her body, she looked away and moved to the couch. Her legs suddenly didn't feel very safe to be standing for long.

"Sara?"

Snapping her head up and flinching when she saw him towering over her, she gasped.

Grissom recoiled and took a considerable amount of large steps back. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you." His voice was almost broken, shattering in pieces at the sight of fear in her eyes when she looked at him. -'My God!'-

-'No, Gil. Please don't leave me'- She pleaded, screamed even, for him to stay with her, hold her, take her nightmare away from her, anything to rid her of these thoughts and feelings.

"I'll be five minutes." He said softly.

PULLING THE DOOR closed, Grissom sagged back in his seat for a second, before straightening and leaning forward to start the ignition, but stopped when he looked in the rear-view mirror and saw his reflection. -'She's so scared of me'- His brain shouted. -'How am I going to survive without her? What if she can't stand the fear any more and leaves? What if...'- Shaking his head at the insane thoughts that were about to play across his mind, he forcefully turned the ignition and whacked the car in gear.

SARA MOVED INTO the bedroom and closed the door, remembering that she hadn't closed her door the other day. She didn't really close the bedroom door often, she didn't feel the need to in her own place. Now it was different, the door acted as a barrier against the outside, protecting her from all the harm in the world. -'He can't get me in here. I'm safe here'- Not completely believing her mind numbing ramblings, she crawled onto the bed and pulled the cover around her shoulders, cocooning herself in the warmth.

-'Mmm, smells like shampoo'- Thinking back to the day before Grissom left, she could remember the reluctance in his eyes. He didn't want to go and he made sure she knew that in his kiss before leaving her to have her a bath. They had spent a few minutes standing at her front door exchanging kisses and whispered words. It was memorable and she never wanted to forget it. It felt so good to have his arms around her, his lips on hers and his words in her head. She had never loved someone so much in her life before and she had never told him.

Now, she wondered, now he would never want her again. She had been violated and striped of all her self-confidence and for a time, her normal lively personality, but no one knew, not even her, when it would surface again and things would look brighter than they did now. -'He will leave. He will, I know it. Any time now and he'll see that I'm not worth it, not pretty, not loyal, not clean...'-

A DAY PAST and there was still nothing overtly different from the day before. Sara staying in the bedroom, leaving Grissom sleeping on the couch, although he didn't get any sleep that night. He couldn't bring himself to let his guard down, not enough to relax. He wanted to be awake if she woke or if she called out for him. He didn't want to miss a second that her voice would call his name and need him.

Grissom stood at the window, facing the back of the apartment building, watching the snow fall with more force than yesterday. It was settling and he guessed that it would stick too. Guess he won't be going anywhere for a while and the thought of taking Sara for some fresh air was out of the question. She hadn't left the bedroom anyway.

Moving from the window to the kitchen, he sighed heavily as he poured some fresh coffee into a clean cup and held it tightly on his way towards his bedroom. He needed to know if she was alright, maybe he could get her to come out so he could talk to her, but maybe that's selfish of him, he thought -'I don't want to push her. She's been through so much'- Knocking on the door, he turned the handle slightly, only to have it stick.

Furrowing his brow, he tried to turn it again. This time it moved a little more, but it took much more of his strength. When the door finally opened, he could see the cause. The chair that was usually on the other side of the room, was wedge loosely behind the handle. It toppled back suddenly, bringing the attention of another person in the room well known to Sara's senses as she screamed.

As quickly as he could, the cup dropped from his hand and smashed on the ground. "Sara." Grabbing her flying fist, he cupped her face, only to have her other hand come down hard on his face, but he didn't flinch. His only concern was Sara. "Honey! It's me. It's Gil."

"Get away from me!" She hissed, pushing at his chest again. "Leave me alone, please go away!"

Grissom pushed her back, although he had a huge gut feeling that he was doing things all wrong, but he was panicking and he was terrified, he didn't know what to do. "Sara, it's ok. It's only me. Please... Sssh, don't do this..." By now, his face was wet with tears as she continued to jerk and struggle against him. -'She's afraid of me'- His mind whimpered. Pulling away quickly, he stumbled over the covers and fell backwards off the bed, hitting the floor with his shoulders before the rest of his body followed. Laying there with tears streaming down his face, he watched as Sara scrambled off the bed and against the opposite wall in pure petrified fear.

"I don't know what to do." He whispered, his voice crackled against the onslaught of tears.

His pained voice seemed to register in Sara's mind and her eyes shot open in realisation. -'Oh My God!!!'- Rushing towards him, she slid to her knees. "I'm so sorry." She hiccupped, reaching out to touch his face, but resisted.

Pushing himself to his feet, he left the room.

Sara stared at the floor before following him. She found him staring unseeing out the window. "Gil-"

He shook his head and took a shaky breath. "My fault." He breathed thickly.

Moving towards him again, she touched his arm without hesitation this time. As he turned, she gasped in shock. "Oh God, honey, I'm so sorry." She quickly forgot all her fears and pulled him into the kitchen. She sat him on one of the stools before reaching into a drawer for the first aid kit. "Stay still for me." She whispered, holding some damp cotton wool against his lip.

During the struggle in the bedroom and the first punch was thrown, she had split his lip. It looked bad too. -'Oh god, I hurt him. How could I hurt him? He'll leave me now for sure'- She thought sadly as she dabbed the cut some more until the bleeding slowed. Looking down at his hands, she noticed scratches deep enough to weep some blood. She gently tended to them as he stared at her the whole time.

"I shouldn't have left you." He said suddenly, meeting her eyes as they looked at him. "I should have stayed and protected you."

Sara looked back down at the final scratch on his forearm and lightly applied a small band aid. "You had to work."

Grissom shook his head sadly, watching her fingers brush the damaged skin. "You needed me here."

For a while, they were silent. They stared at each other, unmoving in time. The snow outside slowed and the sounds of children could be heard in the distance. If only they could turn back time, none of this would have happened.

Breaking the silence first, Grissom covered her hand slowly, still not wanting to scared her. "What did the police say?"

She sighed and shook her head. "They didn't get back to me."

"Ok." He nodded and broke away from her eyes. "Would... would you like me to look into it?"

Sara heard and saw the hesitation. "How?"

Thinking carefully for a minute, he moved to stand. "I'm a CSI as well as a teacher. I may be able to help."

-'Do I want him to know? He'll hate me for not telling him'-

-'I don't know if I want to know, but I want to kill whoever did this to her'-

"I-I-no." She breathed, turning away. -'He'll just have to hate me. I can't jeopardise his job, he loves it too much. His reputation would be stained'-

"Sara, please." He moved to stand directly behind her, slowly reaching up to grasp her arms. "I can put this guy away."

She dropped her head and shook it. "I want to forget."

"Then help me." He pleaded, turning her to cup her face. "I can do this. I can help you forget."

SARA LOOKED DOWN at his sleeping body and lightly ran her fingertips down his spine. She bent down and kissed his ear. "I love you." It was only a whisper, but she knew his exhausted body would register her words even if his conscious self didn't hear it.

-'I'm hurting him more, I know. But I have no choice. I can't stay. He'd find out. They all would'-

Pushing herself up from the bed, she walked towards the door, only stopping to grab her duffel bag. One last look and she left.

End Of Volume I

Continued in Volume II