This is slash.
This is an AU.
If you review, be gentle, this is my first time.
Please, enjoy.
*Spotting the Problem*
Spot Conlon, manhattan 16 year old, raised his eyebrow at the curious noise coming from behind the front door of the large house he stood at. That noise...it almost sounded like...a puppy. Spot snorted at that idea. When in the hell would Racetrack have time to get a puppy? But still...
After all, even though Spot attended the public school, and Race went to private, they were still best friends. So naturally, Spot Conlon would be the first to know if Racetrack Higgins had a fucking puppy. It was kind of nice to entertain the idea, though; if Race did have a puppy, then maybe he would let Spot name it, since Spot's family couldn't afford to keep a pet.
It was only when one of the neighborhood kids started screaming a song at the top of his lungs did Spot realize he was standing in front of the Higgins' house with his finger poised at the doorbell. 'Jesus, I bet I look like an idiot.'
After a good few punches to the doorbell, the sound of footsteps could be heard. And then, that funny little Italian accent that belonged to the funny little Italian himself.
"Holy hell, Spot, you gotta see this! C'mere, SPOT!" Race always had a wierd way of greeting people, but so did Spot Conlon.
He stepped into the house daintily and kicked off his shoes, and took a moment to, as per custom, admire the lovely domain of the Higgins'. A chandelier hung in the foyer, which was lit every night at 6, and two family portraits sat on the wall on either side of the grand light. An annoyingly expensive looking umbrella holder, which held annoyingly expensive looking umbrellas, rested on the edge of the Persian fucking rug. The persian rug only added to the sheer fancy-ness of the house, but Race always gayly insisted that the colors on the rug went well with the rest of the interior design of the house. Pfft. Interior design, his ass. That rug was fancy, plain and simple. And the puppy on it was cute, too. All white with a little light brown spot on its back. Nice. Everything was just as Spot had remembered it. And...wait a second....
"What the fuck!?! When did you get a puppy!?!" , Spot exclaimed, a look of surprise on his normally scowling face. Speaking of scowling, Race looked peeved...
"Do ya' mind," he snapped, " Mama is asleep. I don't want her waking up to your fowl language. You're such a...ugh, I can't even think of a good insult. Anyway-this is my dog, Spot Higgins. Spot Higgins, meet Spot Conlon."
Spot-the puppy-was actually really cute. But..."I wish I could have a puppy." Spot-the boy- sounded so sad to Race, and Race didn't want him to be sad. When the puppy had crossed his path earlier on the way home from school, Race thought it was actually Spot turned into a dog--and he would never, ever, admit he had an hour long conversation(one-sided of course) with the puppy. It was love at first site. Spot-puppy couldn't even be that old, and it's small size was eerily similar to the small size of Spot-boy. And cute, Race had to admit. Really cute. All half-starved looking, those big blue eyes, ruffled hair...God, both Spots were too damn cute for their own good
"Look, let's go upstairs, and all three of us can cuddle, and watch a movie. And you can spend the night, okay? That way, puppy-Spot will see both as his master!" Spot had to admit, as childish as it sounded, it was a nice idea.
It was a good idea at the time...
__________________________________________
Mrs. Higgins prided herself on her cooking. Real Italian food, not some goofy store-bought food. After that hour-long nap, she felt fully rejuvinated.
The oven beeped, and the maid had to be called in to set the table in the dining room, which connected to the kitchen. Estelle, the maid, smiled politely as she listened to the orders given by Mrs. Higgins.
"Ah, perfezione!" Mrs. Higgins cried as she removed the bread from the oven. Unfortunately, Mrs. Higgins overlooked the fact that the bread would still be very hot. "Ow, Mi sono bruciato!"
Just one more problem to take care of...and to add to that, Mr. Higgins would be home from work any minute now, and the chandelier needed to be turned on, and Anthony and "Spot" needed to prepare for dinner.
Anthony and Spot...the two seemed so close, sometimes she couldn't help but wonder if they were more than just friends, but of course her little Anothony wasn't gay, that was impossible. But that Conlon boy, he was pretty enough to pull off homosexuality.
Out of the kitchen, Mrs. Higgins went though the dining room, which was connected to the living room. All of the furnishings in the house were the best, and the most expensive. The stairs were a pearly colored marble, and led the spacious second floor. Destination: Entertainment room. The sound of a movie could be heard from the staircase, and the door was even closed! Three rooms down and to the right was the entertainment room. Mrs. Higgins was seconds away from making her entrence, when it happened.
"Spot, stop humping my leg, I'm gonna miss the best part!" Oh, that voice...Mrs. Higgins knew that voice; it was the voice of her little angel Anthony.
What in the hell were they doing in there!? She intended to find out. She placed her perfectly manicured nails on the doorknob, and in her most itimidating voice, screeched, " Anthony Higgins, what is going on!?"
__________________________________________________________________
Fight Club was Race and Spots most favorite movie of all time. No movie could ever top it. The "Etertainment Room", as it had been officially named, cosnisted of a big screen t.v with surround sound, DVD player, VCR, Stereo, five stacks of movies, an Imac computer(though Race had one in his room as well)and a big, cushy couch. A big cushy couch that Spot fucking loved to snuggle in. It was an uspoken thing when Spot-boy curled into Races side, and Race wrapped an arm around Spot-boys body. The Spot-puppy curled on the opposite side of Race( "Whaddaya know, it's a Racetrack sandwhich," Race had Commented), and all three were nice and comfortable.
So comfortable in fact...Fight Club inspired Race to just say the wierdest things. " Brad Pitt is hot."
The was a horribly awkward 10-second silence until Spot replied with, "I dunno, I think Edward Norton is hotter. He's got that spaztic look going on. Like you."
The movie continued, and Spot-puppy seemed completely enthraled with it, and didn't even pay attention to the conversation going on with the humans next to him. This time when they talked the pause wasn't as long though. And Spot-puppy had to admit, the conversation continued to grow more interesting.
"You think I look spaztic?"
"In a hot way."
"Ah, that's alright then."
"You're hot like Brad Pitt in that confident way."
"Is that...a good thing?"
"Yeah. Besides his face, thats the hottest thing about him."
"I feel like we're two chick watching a movie together."
"Wow, I was totally getting that feeling too."
"Maybe we should make out. You know, because maybe thats what chicks secretly do when they watch movies."
"I think I like that idea."
"So that's a yes?"
"sì"
"Crazy little Italian"
"Ragazzo stupido grazioso"
"Mmmm, Italian is hot."
*snort*"That was an insult, you idiot."
"Hm. Well, I must say, that was THE hottest insult I've ever gotten."
"Ha. I fucking love that penguin."
"Hey, we're 'sposed to be making out."
"Okay, okay. Just....wait."
"Okay, when Marla appears."
"Uh...now"
"Okay"
"Okay"
Spot-puppy couldn't help but notice when Race pulled Spot-boy into his lap, and pressed his mouth to the other boys. He didn't really know what was going on, but humans were always weird like that.
Racetrack Higgins was pretty damn close to heaven at this point. But even he, who had the Spot Conlon straddling him, had to admit that thinking cliched thoughts was just crossing the line into over-girlyness. It was a first kiss for both of them, but it wasn't like either thought it would be. Instead of an slow, gentle exploration of the mouth, it was brutal--tongues lashed out, and strayed into other mouths, teeth clicked together, and--
"Fuck," Spot hissed," You're hands are like fucking ice, man."
By this point, if Spot-puppy could have sighed, he would have sighed. For the conversation had begun again.
"Well sor-ry! Here, I'll take them out of your pants."
"No, no, keep them."
*Pant*"You sure?"
*Grin*"Fuck yeah."
" You say fuck too much."
"Ha. Is it giving you ideas?"
"You wish."
"No, you wish."
"Oooh, good one."
"Fuck you."
"Ti amo, voi idiot piccolo"
"You...part of that was an insult, and part wasn't."
"Wow, you have a brain after all."
"Well, I'm in Spanish class this year, and Spanish and Italian are awfuly alike..."
"Oh?"
"Yeah."
"Ah, ah, right there."
"Heh. Here?"
"Merda santa!"
"Ooooh, was that encouragement?"
"May-be."
"OOOOoooh. My favorite part is coming up!"
"Looks to me like you're the one coming, buddy."
"pervertito"
"Damn straight."
"Nothing straight about what we're doing."
"True..."
Spot-puppy glanced at the two boys, who were trying to watch the movie and do their dirty human pre-mating ritual thing. Kind of interesting to watch...Wait! Spot-puppies two little white ears perked up, but neither of the boys on the couch noticed. Spot-puppy knew that sound, it was footsteps. Oh, he had to stop the human boys! Well, barking didn't work, and neither did wimpering, or scratching the Italian boys leg. But there was always the secret weapon. Gulping as only dogs can, Soit-puppy jumped off the warm couch and walked over to Race-masters leg, and...did the unspeakable--which kind of worked, and kind of didn't.
"Spot, stop humping my leg, I'm gonna miss the best part!"
Two hearbeats, and then, " Anthony Higgins, what is going on!?"
It was pure havoc. Mrs. Higgins burst into the room, where the first she noticed was Brad Pitt on the t.v. Next was that "Spot" was in her little Anthonys lap, and had his hands where no hands should roam! Both were shirtless, and the dog...he was...
Race cleared his throat. "Er, Mama, look-I found this puppy on the way home and named him Spot-can we keep him?"
Race decided to take it as a yes when Mrs. Higgins fainted.
*Fin*
Sorry I didn't add what the Italian meant, but the only one thats important is Ti amo, voi idiot piccolo, which means "i love you, you little idiot."
heh.
if uh, you really need to know what everything means, feel free to leave me a review asking.
and everything from penguins, to Marla, to Brad Pitt and Edward Norton all pertains to "Fight Club" which is the best movie in the world.
This is an AU.
If you review, be gentle, this is my first time.
Please, enjoy.
*Spotting the Problem*
Spot Conlon, manhattan 16 year old, raised his eyebrow at the curious noise coming from behind the front door of the large house he stood at. That noise...it almost sounded like...a puppy. Spot snorted at that idea. When in the hell would Racetrack have time to get a puppy? But still...
After all, even though Spot attended the public school, and Race went to private, they were still best friends. So naturally, Spot Conlon would be the first to know if Racetrack Higgins had a fucking puppy. It was kind of nice to entertain the idea, though; if Race did have a puppy, then maybe he would let Spot name it, since Spot's family couldn't afford to keep a pet.
It was only when one of the neighborhood kids started screaming a song at the top of his lungs did Spot realize he was standing in front of the Higgins' house with his finger poised at the doorbell. 'Jesus, I bet I look like an idiot.'
After a good few punches to the doorbell, the sound of footsteps could be heard. And then, that funny little Italian accent that belonged to the funny little Italian himself.
"Holy hell, Spot, you gotta see this! C'mere, SPOT!" Race always had a wierd way of greeting people, but so did Spot Conlon.
He stepped into the house daintily and kicked off his shoes, and took a moment to, as per custom, admire the lovely domain of the Higgins'. A chandelier hung in the foyer, which was lit every night at 6, and two family portraits sat on the wall on either side of the grand light. An annoyingly expensive looking umbrella holder, which held annoyingly expensive looking umbrellas, rested on the edge of the Persian fucking rug. The persian rug only added to the sheer fancy-ness of the house, but Race always gayly insisted that the colors on the rug went well with the rest of the interior design of the house. Pfft. Interior design, his ass. That rug was fancy, plain and simple. And the puppy on it was cute, too. All white with a little light brown spot on its back. Nice. Everything was just as Spot had remembered it. And...wait a second....
"What the fuck!?! When did you get a puppy!?!" , Spot exclaimed, a look of surprise on his normally scowling face. Speaking of scowling, Race looked peeved...
"Do ya' mind," he snapped, " Mama is asleep. I don't want her waking up to your fowl language. You're such a...ugh, I can't even think of a good insult. Anyway-this is my dog, Spot Higgins. Spot Higgins, meet Spot Conlon."
Spot-the puppy-was actually really cute. But..."I wish I could have a puppy." Spot-the boy- sounded so sad to Race, and Race didn't want him to be sad. When the puppy had crossed his path earlier on the way home from school, Race thought it was actually Spot turned into a dog--and he would never, ever, admit he had an hour long conversation(one-sided of course) with the puppy. It was love at first site. Spot-puppy couldn't even be that old, and it's small size was eerily similar to the small size of Spot-boy. And cute, Race had to admit. Really cute. All half-starved looking, those big blue eyes, ruffled hair...God, both Spots were too damn cute for their own good
"Look, let's go upstairs, and all three of us can cuddle, and watch a movie. And you can spend the night, okay? That way, puppy-Spot will see both as his master!" Spot had to admit, as childish as it sounded, it was a nice idea.
It was a good idea at the time...
__________________________________________
Mrs. Higgins prided herself on her cooking. Real Italian food, not some goofy store-bought food. After that hour-long nap, she felt fully rejuvinated.
The oven beeped, and the maid had to be called in to set the table in the dining room, which connected to the kitchen. Estelle, the maid, smiled politely as she listened to the orders given by Mrs. Higgins.
"Ah, perfezione!" Mrs. Higgins cried as she removed the bread from the oven. Unfortunately, Mrs. Higgins overlooked the fact that the bread would still be very hot. "Ow, Mi sono bruciato!"
Just one more problem to take care of...and to add to that, Mr. Higgins would be home from work any minute now, and the chandelier needed to be turned on, and Anthony and "Spot" needed to prepare for dinner.
Anthony and Spot...the two seemed so close, sometimes she couldn't help but wonder if they were more than just friends, but of course her little Anothony wasn't gay, that was impossible. But that Conlon boy, he was pretty enough to pull off homosexuality.
Out of the kitchen, Mrs. Higgins went though the dining room, which was connected to the living room. All of the furnishings in the house were the best, and the most expensive. The stairs were a pearly colored marble, and led the spacious second floor. Destination: Entertainment room. The sound of a movie could be heard from the staircase, and the door was even closed! Three rooms down and to the right was the entertainment room. Mrs. Higgins was seconds away from making her entrence, when it happened.
"Spot, stop humping my leg, I'm gonna miss the best part!" Oh, that voice...Mrs. Higgins knew that voice; it was the voice of her little angel Anthony.
What in the hell were they doing in there!? She intended to find out. She placed her perfectly manicured nails on the doorknob, and in her most itimidating voice, screeched, " Anthony Higgins, what is going on!?"
__________________________________________________________________
Fight Club was Race and Spots most favorite movie of all time. No movie could ever top it. The "Etertainment Room", as it had been officially named, cosnisted of a big screen t.v with surround sound, DVD player, VCR, Stereo, five stacks of movies, an Imac computer(though Race had one in his room as well)and a big, cushy couch. A big cushy couch that Spot fucking loved to snuggle in. It was an uspoken thing when Spot-boy curled into Races side, and Race wrapped an arm around Spot-boys body. The Spot-puppy curled on the opposite side of Race( "Whaddaya know, it's a Racetrack sandwhich," Race had Commented), and all three were nice and comfortable.
So comfortable in fact...Fight Club inspired Race to just say the wierdest things. " Brad Pitt is hot."
The was a horribly awkward 10-second silence until Spot replied with, "I dunno, I think Edward Norton is hotter. He's got that spaztic look going on. Like you."
The movie continued, and Spot-puppy seemed completely enthraled with it, and didn't even pay attention to the conversation going on with the humans next to him. This time when they talked the pause wasn't as long though. And Spot-puppy had to admit, the conversation continued to grow more interesting.
"You think I look spaztic?"
"In a hot way."
"Ah, that's alright then."
"You're hot like Brad Pitt in that confident way."
"Is that...a good thing?"
"Yeah. Besides his face, thats the hottest thing about him."
"I feel like we're two chick watching a movie together."
"Wow, I was totally getting that feeling too."
"Maybe we should make out. You know, because maybe thats what chicks secretly do when they watch movies."
"I think I like that idea."
"So that's a yes?"
"sì"
"Crazy little Italian"
"Ragazzo stupido grazioso"
"Mmmm, Italian is hot."
*snort*"That was an insult, you idiot."
"Hm. Well, I must say, that was THE hottest insult I've ever gotten."
"Ha. I fucking love that penguin."
"Hey, we're 'sposed to be making out."
"Okay, okay. Just....wait."
"Okay, when Marla appears."
"Uh...now"
"Okay"
"Okay"
Spot-puppy couldn't help but notice when Race pulled Spot-boy into his lap, and pressed his mouth to the other boys. He didn't really know what was going on, but humans were always weird like that.
Racetrack Higgins was pretty damn close to heaven at this point. But even he, who had the Spot Conlon straddling him, had to admit that thinking cliched thoughts was just crossing the line into over-girlyness. It was a first kiss for both of them, but it wasn't like either thought it would be. Instead of an slow, gentle exploration of the mouth, it was brutal--tongues lashed out, and strayed into other mouths, teeth clicked together, and--
"Fuck," Spot hissed," You're hands are like fucking ice, man."
By this point, if Spot-puppy could have sighed, he would have sighed. For the conversation had begun again.
"Well sor-ry! Here, I'll take them out of your pants."
"No, no, keep them."
*Pant*"You sure?"
*Grin*"Fuck yeah."
" You say fuck too much."
"Ha. Is it giving you ideas?"
"You wish."
"No, you wish."
"Oooh, good one."
"Fuck you."
"Ti amo, voi idiot piccolo"
"You...part of that was an insult, and part wasn't."
"Wow, you have a brain after all."
"Well, I'm in Spanish class this year, and Spanish and Italian are awfuly alike..."
"Oh?"
"Yeah."
"Ah, ah, right there."
"Heh. Here?"
"Merda santa!"
"Ooooh, was that encouragement?"
"May-be."
"OOOOoooh. My favorite part is coming up!"
"Looks to me like you're the one coming, buddy."
"pervertito"
"Damn straight."
"Nothing straight about what we're doing."
"True..."
Spot-puppy glanced at the two boys, who were trying to watch the movie and do their dirty human pre-mating ritual thing. Kind of interesting to watch...Wait! Spot-puppies two little white ears perked up, but neither of the boys on the couch noticed. Spot-puppy knew that sound, it was footsteps. Oh, he had to stop the human boys! Well, barking didn't work, and neither did wimpering, or scratching the Italian boys leg. But there was always the secret weapon. Gulping as only dogs can, Soit-puppy jumped off the warm couch and walked over to Race-masters leg, and...did the unspeakable--which kind of worked, and kind of didn't.
"Spot, stop humping my leg, I'm gonna miss the best part!"
Two hearbeats, and then, " Anthony Higgins, what is going on!?"
It was pure havoc. Mrs. Higgins burst into the room, where the first she noticed was Brad Pitt on the t.v. Next was that "Spot" was in her little Anthonys lap, and had his hands where no hands should roam! Both were shirtless, and the dog...he was...
Race cleared his throat. "Er, Mama, look-I found this puppy on the way home and named him Spot-can we keep him?"
Race decided to take it as a yes when Mrs. Higgins fainted.
*Fin*
Sorry I didn't add what the Italian meant, but the only one thats important is Ti amo, voi idiot piccolo, which means "i love you, you little idiot."
heh.
if uh, you really need to know what everything means, feel free to leave me a review asking.
and everything from penguins, to Marla, to Brad Pitt and Edward Norton all pertains to "Fight Club" which is the best movie in the world.