~ A Haibane Renmei fanfiction ~
"Who are they?" Tabitha said, pulling my arm with her tiny hand. I looked in the direction in which she was excitedly pointing. "Why do they got wings? Are they playin' dress-up?"
"Why, those are Haibane," I said, pulling my arm back from my niece's grip. "It is not polite to point and we shouldn't bother them."
Tabitha's eyes grew wide and she held her mouth open, gasping in wonder. It wasn't unlike the first time she had seen a wild deer. If I remember correctly, that far back, when I was small, I had the same reaction the first time I had seen Haibane.
"Like what you and Mamma and Daddy told me about? Like in the stories?" she chirped, "Mamma told me that Haibane are lucky!"
"Yes, that's right," I said with a soft laugh.
"Where are they going?"
"It looks like they are headed for the thrift clothing store," I replied as my niece and I walked along the cobblestone street. It was a very pleasant day outside. Mid-Spring in Glie is always nice, but, when I thought about it, I realized that the weather in this town was rarely unpleasant. Even the winter's coldness is beautiful in its own ways. I've often wondered what the weather was like beyond the town wall – what anything was like beyond the wall.
"Why don't they come into the store we're going to?" Tabitha asked as we stepped through the door of a little retail outlet. "That store they're going to only has old stuff. Are they poor?"
"No, no, honey," I answered gently. "Haibane can only go to that store. They can't come shopping in here."
Tabitha regarded me with a look of shock, her blue eyes suddenly very sad as they looked up at me. "Why?" she asked. "I thought Haibane were lucky. Why wouldn't the shop owner want them to come shop in his store? Why do they have to go only in that shabby place?"
I sighed. "It's one of their rules." I said. "Haibane cannot get new things. The Haibane Renmei tells them that they can only get old things that we humans do not need anymore."
"That's not fair!" the child protested. "If the Haibane are special like what Mamma and Daddy say, shouldn't they be allowed to shop anywhere?"
"It doesn't work like that, honey," I explained, guiding Tabitha to a rack of sundresses. I held one her size up to her. "Do you like this one? It has such a pretty pattern and color."
She looked up at me, pouting. "Oh, don't be that way." I said.
"It's not fair, Aunt Kasumi."
I sighed again. "It's okay, Tabby, really. The Haibane do not mind. It is their station in life. They need to obey the Haibane Renmei in order to live. They don't mind using the old things. It is one of the ways they fit in here. We need them to take the old things for us. It's like when grandpa gives old stale bread to the crows. If we didn't have the crows, the bread would just sit around and get moldy, and he likes to watch the crows."
"Oh, okay." Tabitha said. "It still doesn't seem fair, though. The Haibane are people, right?"
I stood, looking down at my niece, unable to stand before the all-consuming, innocent logic of an eight-year-old. I had set out this day to take her to buy some new clothes and to provide my sister and her husband with a day by themselves. I had not expected to have to answer endless questions to which I did not even know the full answers.
"Yes, they are people. They just are a different kind of people than the rest of us."
After making a few purchases, we walked out of the shop. I glanced over toward the thrift store and saw the little group of Haibane inside through the windows. Tabitha caught my attention again.
"Where do the Haibane come from, Aunt Kasumi? Mamma says they just appear. Do they fall from Heaven?"
Another question that I did not completely know the answer to. "I'm not really sure. It is said that they are born in the oldest buildings outside of town. You know, where they live; Old Home and that abandoned old factory."
We sat on a bench to enjoy the sunshine. The Haibane came out of the shop, walking down the street, talking and giggling. The smallest one among them danced in an out among the older ones, spinning around. I could not tell if the child was a girl or a boy. The rest of them were young women, all teenagers.
"Do their mommies and daddies just let them go out alone like this?" Tabitha asked. "There aren't any adults with them."
I closed my eyes, trying to recall the oldest Haibane I had seen. I had never seen one that was older than his or her mid-twenties. I had also never seen a pregnant Haibane. From the stories I had heard about them, they did just appear, born from these giant eggs that appeared in the old dorms or in the factory or something to that effect. There was an older Haibane I saw quite often bringing little child Haibane into the town, but I knew that the children were not hers, that she was just a caretaker or teacher of some sort. I also knew that any new Haibane that were born were born the ages that they were. I'd seen "New Feathers" now and again, and had never seen an infant Haibane. I had often wondered if they had come from Heaven.
"Aunt Kasumi?"
"Oh... I'm sorry... I guess I just drifted off in thought a bit. I don't think Haibane have mommies or daddies."
"That's sad." Tabitha said, sulking. Then, she brightened up, her face and tone of voice like the sun coming out from behind a cloud. "They're coming this way! I want to say hi!"
I stood up and walked after my niece. She stood before the five Haibane. The little one whose gender I could not tell looked up at me. My niece started chatting excitedly.
"You're Haibane, right? I've never seen a Haibane before. My mamma says that you're special and lucky. You all have such pretty wings.. and pretty halos! You... Miss? What's that thing on your head?"
I saw a delicate girl among them shrink back slightly, clearly embarrassed. She had an apparatus on her head that was holding her halo in place. She was clearly a newborn – sometimes their halos didn't set properly at first and they needed to wear a holder for a few days to keep their halos in place. I felt a twinge of sorrow for the young Haibane. She seemed like such a shy person and my niece was pointing at her and asking her what was on her head. The oldest-looking one stepped forward and put her hand on the girl's shoulder.
I took Tabitha aside. "That's rude," I told her. "You shouldn't point things out like that. She's embarrassed now."
"N-no..." the girl with the holder said, stepping forward. "It's alright." She held out her hand to Tabitha. "Hello," she said. "I'm Rakka."
"I'm Tabitha!" Tabitha said. "And that's my Aunt Kasumi. She's taking me out shopping today."
"That's very nice of her," Rakka whispered, smiling.
"And I'm Kuu!" the little Haibane with ambiguous gender said, walking up to and shaking hands with my niece. "Rakka's a New Feather. Her halo kept wavering. That's why she has to wear the halo holder. It should come off in a few days."
"Oh!" said Tabitha. Her tender cheeks were flushed with excitement. I knew that she would be talking about this all the way home... and would probably keep my sister and my brother in law up half the night refusing to be tucked in until she told them all about meeting the Haibane. "Do you want to come over to my house and play with me?"
"I... I'm not sure we're allowed to do that," the one called Rakka whispered.
"Actually, we do have to go," the oldest one said. "Come on, Kuu. If we are not back before nightfall, Reki will worry about us."
Tabitha and I watched the group of Haibane leave, walking down the street toward the road to the dormitory–nest the town called Old Home. Tabitha looked up at me, sorrow in her face.
"The Haibane seem to very much keep to themselves," I said. "That Kuu really seemed to like you."
"Are we allowed to go where they live?"
"I don't think so, unless we are invited. I never asked. I'm not sure how to go about asking the Haibane Renmei something like that."
"It doesn't seem fair that they have to follow a bunch of dumb rules."
"Tabitha!"
I sighed. The shadows were lengthening. "Your mother and father set rules for you."
"Yeah..."
"Why do they set them?"
"I think it's to keep me from having any fun, but Daddy says that they're for my own good. He says he and Mamma don't want me to get hurt."
"Exactly. They say that the Haibane Renmei has the rules for the Haibane to assure their living, and so they don't get hurt. They have their place in this world, as do we. We are very blessed to live with the Haibane, but we have to protect them, so we, too, must follow the laws of the Haibane Renmei to assure that the Haibane don't get hurt."
"It must be hard to be a Haibane."
"Maybe." I held Tabitha by the hand as we walked down the road, headed for her home.
"Are there Haibane beyond the town wall?"
The question made me stop in my tracks for just a moment. I gazed out over the hills to the great wall in the distance. I could not see anything beyond the wall. No one could. It was built in such a way that nothing could be seen beyond it from even the highest place in Glie.
"I don't know." I answered. "You know that everyone who lives here was born here and that no one who leaves ever comes back."
"But the Haibane fly away, don't they? Mamma said so."
"Sometimes."
"Do they go beyond the wall then?"
"I don't know. I don't know where they go."
"What if people don't take care of them beyond the wall... if that's where they go? What if they get hurt?"
"I've heard it said that outside this town, beyond the wall, there is evil. I do not know, honey. I think maybe they go to Heaven when the go away. It's not really for us to know. We are humans – matters like that are for the Haibane, and them alone."
We arrived home. My sister was waiting for us to arrive, and Tabitha immediately ran to her and was scooped up in her arms. The wave of chatting began. I could only smile and hold up the bag of clothing from the store. As we went in for tea, I thought about the girls we had met, the wall... and what it was to be a human in the town of Glie.
~ S. E. Nordwall, 1/2004 ~