A/N: I do not own anything Inuyasha related. Nor do I own any of the Queer Eye guys or anything affiliated with them. Damn it all, it's just not fair!!          

                                    All Things Keep Getting Better:

Kagome toppled over the edge of the well and collapsed onto the well house floor. Seriously, you'd think she'd be used to this already. But that well was steep and no matter how many times she made the climb up the ladder, it never got any easier. Catching her breath, she threw her battered yellow backpack over one shoulder and walked into her house.

"I'M HOME!" She yelled, throwing open the door. Not that she expected a marching band or anything but a kiss would be nice...a hello would suffice... "Hello? Is anyone home?" Kagome walked into the kitchen- nobody, no fresh food on the stove, no note. 'Weird', thought Kagome.

Shrugging it off, Kagome was going to her room when something distracted her. "Ugh, what the hell happened mother's taste? This is the ugliest pillow I have ever seen." It was brown, white and ivory with weird tassels and a string. Kagome sincerely hoped her sometimes senile grandfather had bought the monstrosity. From anyone else, this lapse in taste was inexcusable. About to toss the couch pillow into the garbage, Kagome saw the pillow open eyes and meow. "No way...Bouyo?!?!" What the hell had happened to her cat while she was in the Feudal Era?? "Bouyo, you're obese! When did this happen?" Kagome shouted, trying to shake the answers out of her cat.

Wobble-smack- wobble-smack- wobble, went Bouyo's flaps of fat.

Kagome starred at her cat and put him down quickly. "Okay, that was gross. Cats are supposed to hiss or meow. Not.... whatever that was." Kagome stated, wrinkling her nose. That was it, her mom and her were going to discuss Bouyo's eating habits and, more importantly, exercise regime.

Putting on jeans and a T-shirt, Kagome went in search of Bouyo's kitty leash. Digging through the 'guests-are-here! -throw-this-in-there!' box, Kagome never suspected that she had a guest.

Something barked "Oi!" right behind her. What was a girl to do?

"EEEEEEE!!!!!!!" screeched Kagome. Flipping around all she saw was a flash of red. Kagome panted, trying to regain her breath, and glared at the irritated hanyou who was at the top of the window draperies.

"What the fuck was that for bitch? Shit, do you screech like that all the time? What is it with you? I made sure to make a lot of noise coming out the window and you still ruined my ears!! Stupid stupid wench! There's something wrong with you; you really did hurt your head that time!!" Inuyasha shouted, waving his fist around for emphasis. Kagome smiled sweetly and almost whispered the word.

"Sit."

"ARGH!" shouted Inuyasha as his head connected with the carpet. "You psycho bitch! What the FUCK was that for? You're abusive, y'know that??"

"Whatever. I have to take my cat out for a walk." Kagome said, not in the mood to soothe Inuyasha's ruffled fur. "Aha!" exclaimed Kagome in happiness, yanking the kitty leash out of the box. Turning, Kagome sang out in a singsong voice, "Boooouuyyyoooo! Come to Kagome! Boouuyyyoo! We're going to take a walky-walky, you feline couch potato...Where the hell did you go...?"

"What are you looking for?" Inuyasha asked, covertly admiring Kagome's denim clad butt as it sashayed around the living room.

"My stupid cat. I don't know what my mom did to him but Bouyo's a walking kitty heart attack waiting to happen. I need to take him for a walk." Checking under the table, Kagome continued singing out for her missing cat.

Peeling himself off the floor, Inuyasha snorted. "Whatever. I bet your fuckin' screaming scared your cat to death."

Kagome shot Inuyasha The Death Stare.

"Or not" he amended quickly. "I mean, a cat that fat couldn't have gotten far."

"Better." Kagome snapped, returning to her search. Inuyasha sighed in relief and settled down on the couch. The cat and the half dog demon screamed at the same moment. Each racing to a corner, Inuyasha and Boyou hissed and spit at each other from across the room.

Inuyasha: "GODDAMN CAT! SCRATCHED MY ASS!! I'LL RIP APART!"

Bouyo: hiss HISS ssss MEOWWW HISS!!!!

Inuyasha: oh really??? Gggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr..!!!!!!

Kagome couldn't help herself. She collapsed in hysterics, seeing the touchy hanyou arguing with her obese cat. "What-hehe!!-are you going to do next? Chase the mailman??? Oh, god! You really ARE a dog! Hahahaha!!! My sides, my sides, they hurt!"

"Feh" mumbled Inuyasha, blushing. About to eviscerate Boyou for threatening him, Inuyasha was distracted by a phenomenon: picking Boyou up caused the cat to lose his hind legs.

'How'd he do that?' wondered Inuyasha. Placing the cat down, yes, there were legs there. Up went the cat, the legs were gone! "Kaogme, your cat has retractable hind legs!" Inuyasha said, amazed. Kagome watched as Inuyasha picked Boyou up several times, trying not to scream at his density.

"Inuyasha," she explained in an overly sweet voice, "When you pick Boyou up, his stomach overlaps his feet. That's how they 'disappear.'"

Unconvinced, Inuyasha tried it a couple more times. Kagome rescued her nauseous looking cat from the curious hanyou and clipped the leach to his collar.

"Are you coming?" She asked Inuyasha, already stepping out of the house.

"Feh" came the answer as Inuyasha grabbed a random cap of Souta's and jammed it over his ears.

'That means yes, I'd love to go and spend some quality time with you Kagome' the fed up girl thought.

The pair had been walking for a few minutes, occasionally needing to convince Boyou to keep going with the use of cat treat bribery. They came to a hill and Boyou sat down. He shot Kagome that spoke volumes: he would not go up, no matter what was offered. Stupid human girl....did she honestly think that he, Boyou, would climb a hill?

In the end, Kagome carried the cat up the steep hill, Inuyasha flatly refusing to have contact with the 'wretched hairball hacking thing.' At the top, Kagome needed to rest and that's when it happened. Five men attacked them.

Out of nowhere, a black SUV pulled over with a screech. Five men jumped out and surrounded them. A tall blonde with about twenty shopping bags stepped forward. Dropping the bags with a dramatic flair, he whipped off his sunglasses. Staring at Inuyasha with a strange intensity, he circled the growling hanyou. Face to face, the man gave Inuyasha a final glance up and down. Turning to the four other men, the man spoke.

"Well, I was right. I was just looking out the window, minding my own business and, oh my god!, I saw a walking car wreck. And I said to myself, well, to hell with the fact that you're on vacation Carson! Its time to be a Good Samaritan! Help that poor deluded man out!" A tall well-muscled man with brown hair nodded and fondled a lock of silver hair.

"I agree, this case is too serious to just pass by. I mean, the hair is such an unusual color but what is up with this length? And I seriously doubt if this head of hair has ever- and I do mean EVER- seen conditioner." He said sadly, ignoring the shocked gasps from his companions.

"Well, I know he's not a chef because I'm pretty sure I see some instant (::shudders::) ramen on front of that, um, bathrobe I guess, that he's wearing." noticed the man in glasses.

"Oh my god..hello people! We just totally attacked him in the street!" came a gentle chiding from a small smiling darker skinned man. The man put out his hand to shake and Inuyasha threw a protective arm in front of a very wide-eyed Kagome.

"Don't worry. I'll protect you." he reassured her. The last man laughed, tossing his keys in the air.

"That's so weird. Usually, it's the girls offering to protect the guys from us, not the other way around!" All five laughed. Key man laughed again at Inuyasha's puzzled expression. "I mean, " he continued, "It's not like we're gonna hit on the girls or anything!" He snorted.

"What the fuck are you talking about and who the fuck are you??" Inuyasha demanded.

"Hmm, doesn't have the best language in the world, does he?" The one who had put his hand out noted wryly.

"Well" said the blonde man who had spoken first; "we are talking about taking you from an ugly bathrobe wearing fashion mistake to being fantastically chic. You, my man, are our assignment for the next week." He threw open his arms with a wide flair. And we are the Fab Five, from Queer Eye for the Straight Guy! We are going to remake you, taking you from drab to fab. And don't worry. It may be painful at times but,"-and he gently slapped Inuyasha on the ass-"Its all worth it in the end." he finished with a smile. The man squealed, "This is going to be So Much Fun!!"

Inuyasha had never been more terrified in his life.

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A/N: hope you liked it! Review please! Getting reviews gives me the warm fuzzies! And remember, if anyone knows who that author is I'm looking for, tell me please! Don't know the story? Look on my other fic (No, this is not a shameless plug. I don't care if you read the actual fic but read the A/N!!!!! I need that name!!)