THE JAK II ROAD TRIP AND HOT SPRINGS VACATION
PART THREE: WHAT THE $%#@!?
Bakura: Well, this is it. The final part. Hope you enjoyed.
I don't own anything and since no one wanted Torn released, I still have him hostage.
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Praxis, Kor, and Krew: Prepare to die!
(everyone gives the three blank stares.)
Praxis: Uh, why aren't you afraid of us?
Jak: Praxis, do you really believe we're going to be afraid of you?
Ashelin: Besides, dad, your attempt at revenge is stupid and futile.
Praxis: How dare you talk back to me!
Kor: Metal Heads, attack!
(the metal heads just stand there.)
Kor: What the hell!? Why aren't you moving?!
Torn: You stupid idiot! They are robots! Do you really think we would have used real Metal Heads in the game!?
Kor: Huh? What game?
Torn: The freaking game we just finished together!
Kor: We didn't do a game. Jak just killed me and Krew and I killed Praxis but we came back to get our revenge.
Jak: It was a fucking game you stupid retard!!!
Praxis: Enough of this talk, we will finish you!
Krew: Go my Krew-clones!
(the Krew-clones appear but just pass through the heroes without hurting them.)
Krew: What is going on here?!
Erol: They are just holograms! They aren't going to hurt us!
Praxis: This is pissing me off! (begins to shoot at them, but can't)
Daxter: Uh, those are just blanks. You know that right.
Kor: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(begins charging at them, but Jak pulls the plug on the suit.)
Jak: You ain't going anywhere, now.
Praxis: Krimzon Guards! Get them now!
(the Krimzon Guards stand there, not moving. Erol walks over to them and touches one. They all fall down, since they were only cardboard cutouts.)
Erol: The only real Guards were Ashelin, Torn, me and about 20 extras. You knew that right?
Krew: You are getting on my nerves, ay! I will charge at you myself!
(as Krew passes, Tess sticks a pin in his flesh which is actually a rubber suit. It pops and a guy tens times skinnier than Krew is left.)
Krew: You…you…I hate you!!!!!!!!!!
(begins charging again, but Torn kicks the crap out of him.)
Jak: I'm getting tired of this.
Erol: Me too. Okay, you guys are under arrest!
Praxis: And what are you going to do? Shoot me? Those are blanks. Daxter said so himself.
(Erol shoots him with a real bullet.)
Praxis: You…shot me?! But I thought…
Erol: Do you really think I act for a living? I'm also a police officer. A real one. And you guys are under arrest for the kidnapping of an entire game company, illegal use of game props, and endangerment to innocent people.
(Erol puts handcuffs on the three and radios in to his squad.)
Erol: Akira, I need backup. We just caught the three that broke into that warehouse the other day.
(The cops get there and take the three bad guys away.)
Jak: Now we need to find the Naughty Dog staff.
Keira: But where would they be?
Sig: I don't know, but since this was the base of operation for those three, they might be here.
(the gang begins to search for the missing staff, finally coming to the basement.)
Erol: Uh, what if a giant scorpion clown is down there devouring them?
All: Erol…
Erol: Sorry.
(they open the door and find the Naughty Dog staff.)
Grady Hunt (Senior Producer): Jak, guys, I'm so glad you are here!
Greg Phillips (Assistant Producer): Yes, we've been down here for five days!
Jak: Well, we've come to rescue you!
Grady: Thank you guys!
Greg: Now we can get back to work on our next project, Jak III: The Legend of the Poopsie Bear.
Vin: AGAIN WITH THE POOPSIE BEAR!!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(blows up the entire staff)
Jak: Well, so much for Jak III.
Erol: You know, we could do it ourselves…
AUGUST 23, 2005 RELEASE OF JAK III: WE DO WHATEVER THE HELL WE WANT
Jak: Yes, yes we did all of our own stunts, starred, directed, and produced the whole thing ourselves.
Erol: What was my favorite scene? Where me and Jak ride the double zoomer through the streets of L.A. of course.
Ashelin: I'm finally glad that me and Torn got married. And we didn't just get married in the game, we got married last night at Vegas.
Torn: Working with Ashelin is a living hell. She got me drunk before going to Vegas!
Daxter: Tess and I are going to star in some aerobic exercise videos. We just got the call last night.
Sig: Me and Poopsie Bear were called by ABC. They now want us to do a show called Poopsie Bear and Me.
Vin: NO MORE POOPSIE BEAR!!!!!!!!!! (begins to cry)
Keira: Since my father died in that mud, I took his place as a sage. I now live in the woods with Brutter and he and I have been dating for the past few months.
Jak: Oh, one more thing before we go. Last night Erol and I…
Announcer: We interrupt this interview for a urgent announcement! Three notorious criminals have escaped from jail. They are…
Jak: …and then we went to McDonald's afterward. Isn't that just so cool!
THE END
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Bakura: Well, that was it.
I also found an interesting Jak pic the other day. It is the Precursor Alphabet. With it you can read what all the things on the buildings say. I will do another story shortly and the reviewers of that story will get the pic if they want it. Aren't I so nice.
Please review, look for my next story, and help release Torn.
Torn: Review, or Bakura is going to do horrible things to me!
Bakura: Come on, dressing you like a girl is not horrible.