In Which It Begins

The day started out as a fairly normal one on Earth. Everybody was going about their various daily chores. However, there was one group of people who, unbeknownst to the rest of the world, were about to carry out a plan they'd been working on for weeks... months... maybe even years. Time had been irrelevant to them while they created their plan, because their plan had involved studying and staring at bishies for long stretches of time.

Now, these bishies had been completely unaware of the fact they were being spied on and researched. They were also completely unaware that this particular group of people were very likely their doom. In addition to this, they had no idea their most-probable doom was soon to come.

Bishies are hard to come across if you're not looking in the right place. This particular group of bishie-studying extensively-planning people knew this, and therefore the problem was solved with a simple concept that was not-so-simple to make reality.

Time travel.

You heard me. I said time travel. This group of people were mildly insane, but that fact may have helped them create their time machine. Now, these insane time travelers were quite possesive of what they believed to be theirs. And what they believed to be theirs was, in truth, not theirs.

They wanted to own the bishounens.

*dun dun dunnnnn*

Hiei woke up one day to find himself on a cold metal floor. He was confused at first, then a bit scared. He'd fallen asleep on the couch at home... And now he was in a room similar to a prison cell. Bars included. He stood up and looked around.

The cage he was in seemed to be a small, sectioned off area of a larger room. The room was made of metal. It was very plain: circular, no furniture or decorations at all. There were two other guys in the room. Kurama and Yusuke. They weren't in cages. However, they were unconscious.

Hiei tried desperately to bend the bars on his little cage. He stopped when he realized it was completely useless, and looked at the room more closely. There were cages around the entire edge of the circular room, side by side so two of the sides were part of the cage beside it (did you get that all?). He got the distinct feeling he was in a zoo. He also noticed that this particular circular room had no doors. That disturbed him just slightly.

Hearing a curse, Hiei turned around and saw Yusuke standing up, rubbing his head. The boy looked around, spotted Kurama, looked thoroughly confused, looked around the room again, spotted Hiei, looked utterly retarded, and, having no idea what else to say, asked a very stupid question.

"Where the hell are we?"

"You expect me to know?" Hiei asked. "I'm in a cage."

Yusuke shook Kurama awake and asked the same question.

"What do you mean, where are we?" Kurama asked. He sat up and looked around. "What the... Where the hell are we?!"

"YOU THINK I KNOW?!" Hiei yelled.

"All right, I'm not liking this," Yusuke said. He wandered around the room, looking at the cages. "Who are all these cages for?"

"You expect me to know?" Hiei asked again. "I want to know why the hell I'm in a cage and you two aren't."

"Where's the others? Why just us three? Where's Kuwabara and Shadow and Eclipse?" Kurama asked. "I believe we've been kidnapped."

"Hai, I assumed that much already," Hiei said dryly.

"I wanna go home," Yusuke whined. Suddenly, there was a bright flash of light and five more men appeared. Three of them occupied the cages beside Hiei. They were all unconscious or asleep.

"All right, this is NOT NORMAL," Yusuke yelled.

"We've come to that conclusion, Yusuke," Hiei said dryly. "I swear to God, whenever I find out who did this to me, they'd be happier if they were in the seventh circle of hell." He tried to bend the bars again and gave up when they didn't give.

Yusuke was busy looking at the five guys who'd appeared. He blinked.

"Now this is just strange," he said.

"Strange how?" Kurama asked.

"What guy would dress in a kimono in this day and age?" He was pointing to one of the two men, who was wearing a kimono with a white bottom and a purple top. Kurama shrugged.

"He would," he replied, pointing to the man and nodding. Yusuke bent down and poked the guy in the shoulder. He opened his eyes and sat up so fast Yusuke and Kurama stumbled backwards.

Yusuke shouted.

The other four woke up.

They looked around.

"What is the meaning of this?" two out of five asked in unison. They instantly looked at each other in confusion and glared and frowned. Then they looked around again. And the others looked around.

Generally, they all looked around a lot, but it seemed none of them noticed each other.

"Who are you?" Kurama asked eventually.

"Why am I in a cage?!" the man beside Hiei whined. He looked at Hiei. Then he looked the other way. "Saitou?!"

"Well, we've got one name," Hiei said dryly to himself. "I guess that's something of a start."

"Shishou?!" the kimono-wearing man exclaimed. The other un-caged man looked down at him.

"Kenshin?"

"Well there's another name," Hiei muttered.

"Why are we here?" Kenshin's master asked.

"Where is 'here'?" Kenshin asked.

"STOP ASKING QUESTIONS! WE DON'T KNOW THE ANSWERS!" Yusuke yelled. Everybody shut up and stared at him. "Now let's just get names first. I'm Yusuke."

Eventually, it was determined that the eight people in the room were Kenshin Himura, Seijuro Hiko (the 13th), Sanosuke Sagara, Saitou, Aoshi, and the three we've already introduced.

In overall attitude, the caged guys seemed rather pissed. The other guys seemed rather pissed, but not as much so. Probably because they weren't in cages. But generally, the room was full of pissed off guys, most of them wishing bloody deaths upon whoever put them there.

"So I guess, now that we know our names, we should start trying to figure out where we are, and why we're here," Hiko said dryly.

"And who put us here," Kurama said.

"And how to murder them when we get out," Hiei added. Everybody looked at him. He blinked innocently. "What'd I do?!"

"Killing is wrong, de gozaru," Kenshin said. "People deserve a second chance."

A loud crackling noise filled the room. Everybody flinched and covered their ears. Suddenly, the crackling stopped and a voice replaced it. A female voice.

"Hi, boys!"

The guys stared at each other, then at the ceiling to a large speaker that seemed to be the origin of the voice.

"You probably have plenty of questions, I know, and they will be answered in due time. For now, keep in mind one fact: You are ours now, and you will never escape. Well, you might, I mean, we might set you free, but you'd have to sacrifice something in return."

"Who are you?!" Yusuke yelled. The voice giggled.

"Didn't I say your questions would be answered sooner or later? Now, just get comfortable, make friends, you know, do whatever. More will be joining you, but it might not be for a few hours," the girl said. "See you later." There was a bit of static and it cut out.

"Well what the hell was that?!" Sano snapped. "I want out of here!"

"This is degrading," Saitou muttered.

"Degrading doesn't even begin to describe it!" Hiei snapped. He reached to his back. "My sword!"

At that moment, everybody noticed they were completely unarmed.

"YOU ARE SO DEAD, YOU HEAR ME GIRL?!" Hiei screamed at the ceiling.

"You know, Hiei, that may be why you're in a cage," Kurama said suddenly.

"Nani?!"

"Your temper."

Hiei sulked.

"Demo... That doesn't explain why we're in cages," Sano said.

"Moron," Saitou said. Sano growled and lunged at the bars separating his and Saitou's cages. The man merely smirked and stood inches out of Sano's reach.

"URUSEI, BAKA!" the boy screamed.

"Calm down!!!" Kenshin said, rushing over to their cells. "Sanosuke! That's rather pointless, de gozaru! You can't get to him through the bars."

Hiei watched this in an amused sort of way, smiling slightly. Maybe it was a smirk. Sano reminded him of Kuwabara. Perhaps that was a bad thing, but then again, he didn't seem quite as stupid or weak... Maybe he was just an older, slightly smarter, a lot stronger, brown-haired, bishounen version of Kuwabara (the bishounen was added by me. Hiei would not think of guys as bishounens because he is not gay.).

"Baka deshi..." Hiko muttered.

"Why am I a moron now?!" Sano asked.

"You just are."

Sano growled.

"I think, what he means is that you're a moron for not realizing that your temper is just as bad as mine," Hiei said. "Which you just displayed by trying to ram yourself through the bars to get to him. Kosekose."

Sano glared and sulked and glared and frowned. Saitou was surprised at how Hiei seemed to understand him, but didn't show it. He just smirked. Aoshi hadn't said two words since he arrived. He'd said his first name, nothing more. Suddenly, Kurama remembered something that had nothing to do with the current situation between Sanosuke and Saitou.

"When that voice came over the intercom," he said suddenly, "the girl said, 'You are ours now, and you will never escape.' I wonder what kind of twisted things she and her comrades are planning."

"How do you know she's got comrades?" Yusuke asked.

"'You are ours now,'" Kurama quoted. "She said 'ours,' so I'm assuming it's not just her."

"Oh."

"Who's to say we won't escape? All we gotta do is break down the door and make a break for it," Sano said, shrugging.

"Did you pay no attention to the room we're in, moron? Where is the door?!" Saitou asked dryly.

"Doko?!" Sano said, as if accepting a challenge. "That's easy." He looked around. Everybody watched him silently, already knowing what he hadn't quite noticed. "Demo... Nai...?"

"No door," Hiei said shortly. "No door, no windows, nothing."

"Seikai," Saitou said. "Maybe you should think a bit before you spout out ideas. You have a bad habit of making lousy suggestions."

"Urusei..." Sano said threateningly, glaring at Saitou. The man was unaffected.

"Well it's true," he said. Sano was fuming.

"Anou... Sano-chan...?" Kenshin said, sweatdropping. "Calm down..."

"Children! Must you?!" Yusuke snapped. Sano and Saitou both turned and looked at him in a slightly startled way. Actually, it was more of a angry surprised sort of way, being as both of them were older than him and he'd just called them children. "Honestly, attempting to kill each other through metal bars is really getting us no where!"

"Hai. Good point," Kurama said. "Really, I don't think we can do anything. A room with no doors or windows, truly has no escape."

Yusuke blinked. "... What are we supposed to eat? Where are we supposed to go to the bathroom?!"

"Oh, honestly! Did you have to bring that up?!" Hiei said, disgusted. "I'd really rather not think about such things."

"Well, it's a problem we'll have to face sooner or later," Kurama said truthfully.

"Preferably later," Hiei said dryly.

"I agree with Hiei, de gozaru. I have a feeling that whoever brought us here won't let us starve to death or force us to do anything... embarassing," Kenshin said.

"Anou... Sooo... What're we gonna do now?" Sano asked.

"Nothing," Hiei said. "There's nothing we really can do."

"That's reassuring."

"Why don't we try to figure out why we're here," Kurama suggested.

"We've alredy attempted to do that," Hiko said. "We don't know."

"Iie! I mean... what have we got in common? Why just us? Why not... anou... Kuwabara?"

"Who's Kuwabara?" Kenshin asked.

"The ultimate baka," Hiei said. "Think Sanosuke, subtract about 200 from his intelligence, divide that by twenty, and you've got the IQ of a rock. Take the square root of that, divide it by five hundred... thousand... and that's about as close as you'll get to Kuwabara."

Everybody was staring at Hiei, most of them with buggy eyes (Kenshin, Sano, Hiko...), some had sweatdrops (Kurama and Yusuke), and others looked just ever-so-slightly surprised (Saitou and Aoshi).

"Soo... He's about as smart as Kenshin?" Hiko asked finally.

"NANI?!" Kenshin said angrily.

"Hiei... I think Kuwabara might be a bit smarter than what you make him out to be..." Kurama said, grinning slightly.

"Yeah, whatever," Hiei said.

"And I'm smarter than a ROCK!" Kenshin said, angry in a very un-Kenshin-like way.

"The square root of a rock divided by five hundred thousand," Sano corrected, nodding. They ignored him.

"Ore shitte imasu," Hiko said. Then he added under his breath, "Baka deshi..."

"I HEARD THAT!" Kenshin snapped.

"So?!"

Kenshin was fuming. Literally. More like smouldering... Smoke was rising out of his ears... He was considering pulling a Yahiko vs. Sano imitation and biting his master's head. Everybody was staring at him, so he decided against it.

"Calm down, Kenshin-san. I think he's joking," Kurama said.

"Of course I am," Hiko said in a not-very-reassuring-or-serious way. Kenshin glared. Kurama decided to change the subject.

"We still didn't figure out why it's just us," he said. "What do we have in common?"

"You know, in order for us to find out what we have in common, you're going to have to talk, Aoshi," Hiei called. He could barely see the man, since he was three cells away (about 25 feet, maybe?) and around a bit of a curve.

"I want no part in anything any of you say or do," Aoshi said. "Unless it involves escaping."

"Well, at least we know he can talk," Hiei said dryly.

"Aoshi's not very social," Sano said quietly to Hiei. "I guess it's better that he doesn't talk at all than he talks and is a rude bastard about everything he says. Like a certain someone I happen to know."

"Moron," Saitou said in response. Sano blew up.

"Shadow? Are you okay?" Eclipse asked. (Ha! You thought you'd finally have a story without these two in it, didn't you! Well, doom upon thee for being hopeful!)

"HE'S GOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNNNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!" Shadow screamed. "THEY'RE ALLLLLLL GONE!!!"

Eclipse blinked.

"Dare?"

"ALL OF THEM! THEY'RE ALL GONE! THEY JUST VANISHED! EXCEPT HIM!" Shadow pointed at Kuwabara. "WHAT CRUEL BEING WOULD DARE TO STEAL MY FRIENDS AND LEAVE ME WITH THAT?!"

"Anou... Shadow... If you don't mind... Could you be quieter?"

"IIE! DO I LOOK LIKE I COULD BE QUIET?! IIE! THEY JUST VANISHED! THEY WERE SLEEPING, THEN THEY WEREN'T! OH, CRUEL FATE!"

"Shadow..."

"WOE IS UPON ME, FOR I HAVE NOT SINNED, BUT KAMI-SAMA SEEMS TO THINK I HAVE!"

"Shadow...? Anou... Please... Be quiet..."

"KAMI NEEDS AN ASSISSTANT TO HELP HIM KEEP TRACK OF THE GOOD PEOPLE AND THE BAD PEOPLE! FOR I AM AN ANGEL AND WOULD NOT SIN!"

"Uh-huh. Shadow, you've lost your mind."

"Nani!? I had a mind?"

Sweatdrop.

"I guess not. Most people usually have one. I suppose... You never did. Freak."

"Demo... THEY'RE GONE!"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY GONE?!"

"LOOK IT UP! I MEAN EXACTLY THAT! THEY ARE NO LONGER PRESENT!"

"Maybe they went for a walk."

"IIE IIE IIE!!! I was sitting here." Shaodw pointed at her sacred fluffy recliner. "They were sleeping there, there, and there." She pointed to the couch, the floor, and a chair halfway pushed under the dining room table. "And I could see all of them. Then, they turned into white light and went POOF!" She then went into another insane screaming rant.

"Shadow...?"

"WHY COULDN'T THEY HAVE TAKEN BAKA-ULTIMA? WHY DID THEY HAVE TO TAKE HIEI? AND KURAMA? AND YUSUKE? I don't care so much about Yusuke, but HIEI AND KURAMA ARE GONE! NO FAIR! NO FAIR AT ALL!"

"Aa, she's lost her mind. Maybe she'll scream it all out eventually." Eclipse gave up and went into the kitchen to make herself a sandwich. A short time later (about two seconds), Shadow ran by screaming like a maniac and holding her head. She fell to the floor and rolled around like she was in great pain, still screaming.

"ITAI! DOUSHITE? DOUSHITE, DOUSHITE, DOUSHITE?! ITAI!!! ITAIIIIII!"

Eclipse, curious as to why Shadow kept saying 'itai,' peeked into the hall to see her friend pounding her head off the floor. Her eyes widened, but she didn't do anything about it, thinking something like, 'Maybe if she hits her head hard enough, she'll pass out and shut up.' Not a very friendly way to think, but hey, that's how she is. Just like Shadow.

"THEY'RE GONE GONE GONE GONE!!! GONE, YOU HEAR ME?!"

"Hai, I hear you, Shadow," Eclipse said dryly. "And what do you expect me to do about it?"

"FIND THEM, of course!"

"Shadow, you're delusional."

"AM NOT!"

"Did Hiei hit you with a PVC pipe?"

"Iie! Hiei isn't HERE! He vanished! Just like Poof!" Shadow clapped her hands together and then threw them up in the air like her hands had caused a mushroom-cloud explosion like an atomic bomb.

"... KUWABARA!" Eclipse yelled. The idiot popped aorund a corner.

"Huh?"

"Did the guys really vanish like this delusional girl says they did?"

Kuwabara nodded vigorously. Shadow was busy making explosion noises and acting like she was dying. Eclipse stared at Kuwabara.

"Well I guess she's not hallucinating."

"Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeoooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!" Shadow screamed. "We're off to see the wizard, the wonderful wizard of eggs. Come with me, you brainless tin can! Or was a a brainless bale of straw? Hell, who cares?!" She then began to skip down the hallway. She stopped suddenly and curled up in a little ball with her arms over her head. "ITAI! THE EVIL TREES OF DOOM! EVIL TREES! THEY WANT TO HURT ME! MOMMY, HELP ME!"

Suddenly, Shadow jumped up and looked calm and serious. Eclipse stared.

"It's the calm before the storm," she whispered to Kuwabara.

"You mean that wasn't that storm!?" he asked.

"Iie, baka!"

Kuwabara then ran away crying to his mommy. Or sister. Whoever the hell.

"We've got to find them. People don't just vanish like that. We have to contact Koenma. Maybe he'll know what to do," Shadow said, suddenly all business. Eclipse stared, sweatdropped, and stared some more.

"What? You're looking at me like I'm nuts!"

"Ehhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..."

Eclipse fell over. Shadow stared, confused.

"What?! What'd I do?"

"OH, SHUT UP, BAKA!" Eclipse screamed. "YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DID!"

"... Oh. You mean how I was having a mental breakdown?"

"Hai, baka."

"Weeee, that was fun. I should do that more often."

"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!"

"I do have a bit of a headache, though..."

"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!"

"Anou..."

"NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!"

"WELL NOW WHO'S HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN?!"

"YOU YOU YOU YOU YOU!!!"

Shadow either groaned or sighed in an exasperated way. Either or, it was accompanied by about 20 sweatdrops.

"Ikuso," she said, sulking away.

"Doko?"

"TO KOENMA, BAKA!"

"Aa!"

"Baka."

"You're so cruel."

"Arigatou."

Eclipse groaned and followed Shadow.

Meanwhile...

Kurama. "."

Hiko. ".."

Kurama. "..."

Hiko. "...."

Kurama. "....."

Hiko. "......"

Kurama. "......."

Hiko. "........"

Kurama. "........."

Hiko. *glare* "............................................................................................... ....................................................................................................................................................... ....................................................................................................................................................... ............................................................."

Kurama. O_O *waves little white flag of surrender*

Aoshi. *glares*

Yusuke. "ZzZzZzZz."

Saitou. *frown*

Hiei. "Hn."

Sanosuke. "Feh."

Kenshin. "Oro?"

... Not much going on there. Competition of the dots between Hiko and Kurama... Hiko got ticked and cheated. Aoshi is glaring at the dot competitors, thinking along the lines of, 'Die die die die die die die die die die.' (And Pacman is staring at the dots hungrily. 'Mmmmm... dots,' he says.) Yusuke is sleeping. Saitou is frowning, as usual. He always frowns. Unless he's smirking at another's misfortune. Hiei says 'Hn' for lack of real words meaning something similar but only using two letters. Sanosuke says 'Feh' since 'Hn' is taken. Kenshin says 'Oro' because everybody else has their own little pet words, so he has to fit in.

And so concludes this chapter.

You heard me.

It's concluded.

Buwahahahaha, you know? Now review before you become non-reviewer-flavored dots. Pacman is hungry! Maybe I could add 8 gallons of green food coloring and make him think they're apple flavoured. Certainly more appealing... Anyway... Muwahahahaha.

Oh, and when you review, tell me some other anime bishies I could add. Muwahahahaha. Poor guys.

Oh, and in case you're confused, I shall posteth thee dik-shon-airy. Fore thee werds thet arnt en inglish, ne? Ay kant spel, ne?

bishie- short for bishounen