Dragonflyr: I do not own any YYH characters or Abbott and Costello's "Who's on First?"
Dragonflyr: Good, now that that's taken care of, on with the story!
Hiei: Do I really have to do this?
Dragonflyr: YES!
Hiei: Make me!
Dragonflyr: (throws--insert something big and heavy--at him)
Hiei: OW! Why you...
Dragonflyr: eep... Kurama, HHHHHEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!!!
Kurama: Come on, lets just do it already. (grabs Hiei and drags him off with him)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kurama: Alright, now what do you want?
Hiei: HOW DID I END UP BEING THE STUPID HEAD OF THE STUPID SPORTS DEPARTMENT FOR YOUR STUPID SCHOOL ANYWAY???
Kurama: I warned you not to stand around doing nothing In front of the gym teacher.
Hiei: (gives Kurama a death stare) Alright, I guess I have to know the baka baseball players' names. Do you know any of their names?
Kurama: Oh, sure.
Hiei: So?! Go ahead and tell me their names! (muttering something inaudible under breath)
Kurama: What was that?
Hiei: Nothing. Just tell me their names already!
Kurama: Well, I'll introduce you, but I should warn you.
Hiei: Warn me about what?
Kurama: Well, you know how sometimes nowadays they give ballplayers peculiar names?
Hiei: Yeah, like what?
Kurama: Well, like nicknames, petnames.
Hiei: You mean like the way Yusuke calls Koenma Toddler?
Kurama: Well, sort of.
Hiei: (growing impatiant) Alright, alright already. The bakas have stupid names, just tell me what their names are already!
Kurama: Now let's see. We have Who's on first, What's on second, and I Don't Know's on third.
Hiei: That's what I want to find out! (more inaudible muttering)
Kurama: I just told you. Who's on first, What's on second, and I Don't Know's on third.
Hiei: Do you know the bakas' names?
Kurama: Certainly!
Hiei: Well then, who's on first?
Kurama: Yes!
Hiei: I mean the baka's name!
Kurama: Who!
Hiei: THE BAKA ON FIRST!!!
Kurama: Who!
Hiei: THE FIRST BASEMAN!!!
Kurama: Who!
Hiei: THE BAKA PLAYING FIRST!!!
Kurama: Who is on first!
Hiei: Now what the hell are you asking me for!?
Kurama: I'm not asking. I'm telling you, Who is on first.
Hiei: Well I'm asking YOU who's on first!
Kurama: That's the man's name.
Hiei: (suddenly calms down and gives Kurama a VERY confused look) That's who's name?
Kurama: Yes.
Hiei: Well, go ahead and tell me. (getting worked up again)
Kurama: Who.
Hiei: The guy on first.
Kurama: Who!
Hiei: THE FIRST BASEMAN!
Kurama: Who is on first!
Hiei: (silent for a moment trying to think of another, less confusing, way to ask his question) All the sports players have to sign a contract so the school's not responsible for injuries, right?
Kurama: Yeah.
Hiei: So, have you got a contract with the first baseman?
Kurama: Absolutely.
Hiei: Who signs the contract?
Kurama: Well, naturally!
Hiei: (sighs) All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.
Kurama: Oh, no-wait a minute, don't switch them around. What is on second base.
Hiei: I'm not asking you who's on second!
Kurama: Who is on first.
Hiei: I don't know!
Kurama: He's on third-now we're not talking about him.
Hiei: Now how did I get on third base?
Kurama: You mentioned his name!
Hiei: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?
Kurama: No-Who is playing first.
Hiei: Never mind first-I want to know what's the baka's name on third.
Kurama: No-What's on second.
Hiei: I'm not asking you who's on second!
Kurama: Who's on first.
Hiei: I don't know.
Kurama: He's on third.
Hiei: Aaah!!! Would you PLEASE stay on third base and don't get off it?!
Kurama: What was it you wanted?
Hiei: Now, who's playing third base?
Kurama: Now why do you insist on putting Who on third base?
Hiei: Why? Who am I putting over there?
Kurama: Yes, but we don't want him there.
Hiei: (takes a deep breath) What's the baka's name on third base?
Kurama: What belongs on second.
Hiei: I'm not asking you who's on second!
Kurama: Who's on first.
Hiei: I don't know!
Hiei and Kurama: THIRD BASE!
Hiei: Alright. Forget the infield! You got any outfielders?
Kurama: Oh yes!
Hiei: The left fielder's name?
Kurama: Why.
Hiei: I don't know, I just thought I'd ask you.
Kurama: Well, I just thought I'd tell you.
Hiei: Alright, then tell me who's playing left field.
Kurama: Who is playing fir-
Hiei: STAY OUT OF THE INFIELD!!! I want to know what's the left fielder's name.
Kurama: What's on second.
Hiei: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Kurama: Who's on first.
Hiei: I don't know.
Hiei and Kurama: THIRD BASE!
Hiei: The left fielder's name?
Kurama: Why.
Hiei: Because!
Kurama: Oh, he's center field.
Hiei: Look, you got a pitcher on this team?
Kurama: Now wouldn't this be a fine team without a pitcher.
Hiei: Good. The pitcher's name?
Kurama: Tomorrow.
Hiei: You don't want to tell me today?
Kurama: I'm telling you right now.
Hiei: Then go ahead.
Kurama: Tomorrow.
Hiei: (sighs again) What time?
Kurama: What time what?
Hiei: What time tomorrow are you going to tell me who's pitching?
Kurama: Now listen. Who is not pitching. Who is on fir-
Hiei: I'll break your arm if you say "who's on first!" I want to know what's the pitcher's name.
Kurama: What's on second.
Hiei: I don't know.
Hiei and Kurama: THIRD BASE!!!
Hiei: You got a catcher?
Kurama: Oh, absolutely.
Hiei: The catcher's name?
Kurama: Today.
Hiei: Today. And Tomarrow's pitching.
Kurama: Now you've got it.
Hiei: All we've got is a couple of days on the team.
Kurama: Well, I can't help that.
Hiei: Alright, lets see if I got this straight. Lets say I'm catching, god knows why.
Kurama: Alright, go ahead.
Hiei: So, I'm catching, Tomorrow's pitching, and their heavy hitter gets up.
Kurama: Yes.
Hiei: Tomorrow throw the ball. The batter bunts the ball. When he bunts, me being a good catcher, I want to throw the baka out on first. So, I pick up the ball and through it to who?
Kurama: Now that's the first thing you've said right.
Hiei: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!
Kurama: Well, that's all you have to do.
Hiei: Is to throw the ball to first base?
Kurama: Yes.
Hiei: Now who's got it?
Kurama: Naturally!
Hiei: If I throw the ball to first base, somebody's got to catch it. Now who caught it?
Kurama: Naturally!
Hiei: Who caught it?
Kurama: Naturally!
Hiei: Who?
Kurama: Naturally!
Hiei: Naturally.
Kurama: Yes.
Hiei: So, I pick up the ball and throw it to Naturally.
Kurama: No, No, No! You throw the ball to first and Who gets it.
Hiei: Naturally.
Kurama: That's right. There we go.
Hiei: So, I pick up the ball and throw it to Naturally.
Kurama: You don't!
Hiei: I throw it to who?
Kurama: Naturally.
Hiei: THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!!!
Kurama: You're not saying it that way.
Hiei: I said I throw the ball to Naturally.
Kurama: You don't-you throw the ball to Who.
Hiei: Naturally!
Kurama: Well, say that!
Hiei: THAT'S WHAT I AM SAYING!!! (takes a deep breath) Now, I throw the ball to who?
Kurama: Naturally.
Hiei: Now ask me.
Kurama: You throw the ball to who?
Hiei: Naturally.
Kurama: That's it.
Hiei: I'M ONLY SAYING THE SAME THING YOU ARE!!! I throw the ball to first and who gets it?
Kurama: Naturally!
Hiei: Who has it?
Kurama: Naturally!
Hiei: HE BETTER HAVE IT!!! I throw the ball to first base. WHOEVER the hell it is grabs the ball, so the baka runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What, What throws it to I Don't Know, I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow-triple play.
Kurama: Yes.
Hiei: Another baka gets up-it's a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know. He's on third and I don't give a damn!
Kurama: What was that?
Hiei: I said I don't give a damn!
Kurama: Oh, that's our shortstop.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dragonflyr (wipes away tear) Oh, that was too good.
(Suddenly, a very pissed off Hiei comes in with his katana drawn)
Hiei: Now I've got a migraine! You're going to pay for this!
Dragonflyr: Kurama?
Hiei: He won't save you this time.
(Dragonflyr spots Kurama gagged and tied to a chair in the corner)
Hiei: Now, who's on first?
Dragonflyr: (backed up into the wall) I-I-I d-d-don't k-k-know.
Hiei: Sorry, he's on third. (advanced with an evil grin and scary look in his eye)
Dragonflyr: AAAAHHHH!!!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!
Dragonflyr: Good, now that that's taken care of, on with the story!
Hiei: Do I really have to do this?
Dragonflyr: YES!
Hiei: Make me!
Dragonflyr: (throws--insert something big and heavy--at him)
Hiei: OW! Why you...
Dragonflyr: eep... Kurama, HHHHHEEEEELLLLLPPPPP!!!!!
Kurama: Come on, lets just do it already. (grabs Hiei and drags him off with him)
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kurama: Alright, now what do you want?
Hiei: HOW DID I END UP BEING THE STUPID HEAD OF THE STUPID SPORTS DEPARTMENT FOR YOUR STUPID SCHOOL ANYWAY???
Kurama: I warned you not to stand around doing nothing In front of the gym teacher.
Hiei: (gives Kurama a death stare) Alright, I guess I have to know the baka baseball players' names. Do you know any of their names?
Kurama: Oh, sure.
Hiei: So?! Go ahead and tell me their names! (muttering something inaudible under breath)
Kurama: What was that?
Hiei: Nothing. Just tell me their names already!
Kurama: Well, I'll introduce you, but I should warn you.
Hiei: Warn me about what?
Kurama: Well, you know how sometimes nowadays they give ballplayers peculiar names?
Hiei: Yeah, like what?
Kurama: Well, like nicknames, petnames.
Hiei: You mean like the way Yusuke calls Koenma Toddler?
Kurama: Well, sort of.
Hiei: (growing impatiant) Alright, alright already. The bakas have stupid names, just tell me what their names are already!
Kurama: Now let's see. We have Who's on first, What's on second, and I Don't Know's on third.
Hiei: That's what I want to find out! (more inaudible muttering)
Kurama: I just told you. Who's on first, What's on second, and I Don't Know's on third.
Hiei: Do you know the bakas' names?
Kurama: Certainly!
Hiei: Well then, who's on first?
Kurama: Yes!
Hiei: I mean the baka's name!
Kurama: Who!
Hiei: THE BAKA ON FIRST!!!
Kurama: Who!
Hiei: THE FIRST BASEMAN!!!
Kurama: Who!
Hiei: THE BAKA PLAYING FIRST!!!
Kurama: Who is on first!
Hiei: Now what the hell are you asking me for!?
Kurama: I'm not asking. I'm telling you, Who is on first.
Hiei: Well I'm asking YOU who's on first!
Kurama: That's the man's name.
Hiei: (suddenly calms down and gives Kurama a VERY confused look) That's who's name?
Kurama: Yes.
Hiei: Well, go ahead and tell me. (getting worked up again)
Kurama: Who.
Hiei: The guy on first.
Kurama: Who!
Hiei: THE FIRST BASEMAN!
Kurama: Who is on first!
Hiei: (silent for a moment trying to think of another, less confusing, way to ask his question) All the sports players have to sign a contract so the school's not responsible for injuries, right?
Kurama: Yeah.
Hiei: So, have you got a contract with the first baseman?
Kurama: Absolutely.
Hiei: Who signs the contract?
Kurama: Well, naturally!
Hiei: (sighs) All I'm trying to find out is what's the guy's name on first base.
Kurama: Oh, no-wait a minute, don't switch them around. What is on second base.
Hiei: I'm not asking you who's on second!
Kurama: Who is on first.
Hiei: I don't know!
Kurama: He's on third-now we're not talking about him.
Hiei: Now how did I get on third base?
Kurama: You mentioned his name!
Hiei: If I mentioned the third baseman's name, who did I say is playing third?
Kurama: No-Who is playing first.
Hiei: Never mind first-I want to know what's the baka's name on third.
Kurama: No-What's on second.
Hiei: I'm not asking you who's on second!
Kurama: Who's on first.
Hiei: I don't know.
Kurama: He's on third.
Hiei: Aaah!!! Would you PLEASE stay on third base and don't get off it?!
Kurama: What was it you wanted?
Hiei: Now, who's playing third base?
Kurama: Now why do you insist on putting Who on third base?
Hiei: Why? Who am I putting over there?
Kurama: Yes, but we don't want him there.
Hiei: (takes a deep breath) What's the baka's name on third base?
Kurama: What belongs on second.
Hiei: I'm not asking you who's on second!
Kurama: Who's on first.
Hiei: I don't know!
Hiei and Kurama: THIRD BASE!
Hiei: Alright. Forget the infield! You got any outfielders?
Kurama: Oh yes!
Hiei: The left fielder's name?
Kurama: Why.
Hiei: I don't know, I just thought I'd ask you.
Kurama: Well, I just thought I'd tell you.
Hiei: Alright, then tell me who's playing left field.
Kurama: Who is playing fir-
Hiei: STAY OUT OF THE INFIELD!!! I want to know what's the left fielder's name.
Kurama: What's on second.
Hiei: I'm not asking you who's on second.
Kurama: Who's on first.
Hiei: I don't know.
Hiei and Kurama: THIRD BASE!
Hiei: The left fielder's name?
Kurama: Why.
Hiei: Because!
Kurama: Oh, he's center field.
Hiei: Look, you got a pitcher on this team?
Kurama: Now wouldn't this be a fine team without a pitcher.
Hiei: Good. The pitcher's name?
Kurama: Tomorrow.
Hiei: You don't want to tell me today?
Kurama: I'm telling you right now.
Hiei: Then go ahead.
Kurama: Tomorrow.
Hiei: (sighs again) What time?
Kurama: What time what?
Hiei: What time tomorrow are you going to tell me who's pitching?
Kurama: Now listen. Who is not pitching. Who is on fir-
Hiei: I'll break your arm if you say "who's on first!" I want to know what's the pitcher's name.
Kurama: What's on second.
Hiei: I don't know.
Hiei and Kurama: THIRD BASE!!!
Hiei: You got a catcher?
Kurama: Oh, absolutely.
Hiei: The catcher's name?
Kurama: Today.
Hiei: Today. And Tomarrow's pitching.
Kurama: Now you've got it.
Hiei: All we've got is a couple of days on the team.
Kurama: Well, I can't help that.
Hiei: Alright, lets see if I got this straight. Lets say I'm catching, god knows why.
Kurama: Alright, go ahead.
Hiei: So, I'm catching, Tomorrow's pitching, and their heavy hitter gets up.
Kurama: Yes.
Hiei: Tomorrow throw the ball. The batter bunts the ball. When he bunts, me being a good catcher, I want to throw the baka out on first. So, I pick up the ball and through it to who?
Kurama: Now that's the first thing you've said right.
Hiei: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!!!
Kurama: Well, that's all you have to do.
Hiei: Is to throw the ball to first base?
Kurama: Yes.
Hiei: Now who's got it?
Kurama: Naturally!
Hiei: If I throw the ball to first base, somebody's got to catch it. Now who caught it?
Kurama: Naturally!
Hiei: Who caught it?
Kurama: Naturally!
Hiei: Who?
Kurama: Naturally!
Hiei: Naturally.
Kurama: Yes.
Hiei: So, I pick up the ball and throw it to Naturally.
Kurama: No, No, No! You throw the ball to first and Who gets it.
Hiei: Naturally.
Kurama: That's right. There we go.
Hiei: So, I pick up the ball and throw it to Naturally.
Kurama: You don't!
Hiei: I throw it to who?
Kurama: Naturally.
Hiei: THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING!!!
Kurama: You're not saying it that way.
Hiei: I said I throw the ball to Naturally.
Kurama: You don't-you throw the ball to Who.
Hiei: Naturally!
Kurama: Well, say that!
Hiei: THAT'S WHAT I AM SAYING!!! (takes a deep breath) Now, I throw the ball to who?
Kurama: Naturally.
Hiei: Now ask me.
Kurama: You throw the ball to who?
Hiei: Naturally.
Kurama: That's it.
Hiei: I'M ONLY SAYING THE SAME THING YOU ARE!!! I throw the ball to first and who gets it?
Kurama: Naturally!
Hiei: Who has it?
Kurama: Naturally!
Hiei: HE BETTER HAVE IT!!! I throw the ball to first base. WHOEVER the hell it is grabs the ball, so the baka runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What, What throws it to I Don't Know, I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow-triple play.
Kurama: Yes.
Hiei: Another baka gets up-it's a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know. He's on third and I don't give a damn!
Kurama: What was that?
Hiei: I said I don't give a damn!
Kurama: Oh, that's our shortstop.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dragonflyr (wipes away tear) Oh, that was too good.
(Suddenly, a very pissed off Hiei comes in with his katana drawn)
Hiei: Now I've got a migraine! You're going to pay for this!
Dragonflyr: Kurama?
Hiei: He won't save you this time.
(Dragonflyr spots Kurama gagged and tied to a chair in the corner)
Hiei: Now, who's on first?
Dragonflyr: (backed up into the wall) I-I-I d-d-don't k-k-know.
Hiei: Sorry, he's on third. (advanced with an evil grin and scary look in his eye)
Dragonflyr: AAAAHHHH!!!!! SOMEBODY HELP ME!!!!