Chapter
5
Amanda took a deep breath as she entered the Bullpen. She looked across the room at Billy Melrose's office door and felt a feeling of sadness wash over her again. What she was about to do wasn't going to be easy, but it was something that was going to have to be done. There was no other way.
That night after Joe had asked her to marry him again, Amanda had had the most restless night she had ever had in her life. She paced endlessly around her room trying to weigh out the highs and lows of what could happen if she did marry Joe. She was also trying to weigh out what would happen if she didn't marry him.
If she did marry him it would mean that the boys would have their father back. The last couple of years, she had had to try and be both the mother and father figures in their lives, but, of course, having their father back was no comparison. There was so much that she couldn't do that he could.
If she married Joe, Amanda also knew that her mother would be thrilled. She knew because her mother had told her so. When Dotty had returned home from her dinner date with Mr. Parker, Amanda sat her mother down and told her what had happened between her and Joe. Her mother was very pleased for her and couldn't quite understand her daughter's hesitation. She did, however, tell Amanda that it was her decision and that she needed to do what was right for her. She also told her that she would support her with whatever decision she made. Her assurance made Amanda feel very loved and supported, but it still didn't make her decision any easier.
The problem was that Amanda didn't know what was right for her. When she was married to Joe, she was happy she supposed. She wasn't unhappy. There were times when she felt that something was missing, but she had just put that down to being one of the things that happened when you had been married for several years. But still, there was just something that wasn't quite there. But basically speaking, they were happy together. There was no reason why they couldn't be happy together again.
Of course, with the ups there were the downs. If Amanda married Joe, she would have to quit her job at the Agency. There was no possible way that she could continue to work there with Lee being there at the same time. She wouldn't be able to bare it. Having to see him every day would be pure torture. She wasn't about to admit to herself why, but it would.
She knew that leaving like this was taking the cowardly approach, knowing full well that this way she wouldn't have to face Lee. This way she could slip away quietly and they could forget all about each other. She could try and forget him, anyway. There was no way she could ever completely erase him from her mind. He had made too much of an impact on who she was today. He had given her back her confidence as a person and as a woman. She didn't know what she was going to do without him. "But life must go on," she told herself.
Amanda crossed the Bullpen and knocked briskly on Billy's office door, clutching the envelope containing her resignation, tightly in her other hand. At his prompting she opened it and came in.
"Amanda," Billy smiled at Amanda and gestured for her to take a seat. "Please, sit down."
"Thank you, sir," Amanda came around to one of the chairs and sat down opposite of her boss. She held out the envelope to him and nervously cleared her throat. "Um, I wanted to give this to you, sir," Amanda said as she watched Billy open the envelope and begin to read the letter inside. She saw him frown as he reached the part about her resigning and she immediately felt that she needed to explain. "I know this is very sudden."
Billy glanced up briefly from the letter to look at her. "Yes, it is." He looked back down at the letter in his hands and appeared to be rereading it to make sure that he had understood it correctly. He knew there was some tension between his best agents before Lee had left, but he didn't think it had gotten so far out of hand that it would cause Amanda to do this. He looked up at Amanda with confusion. "Did Lee do something to cause this?" he frowned.
"No," Amanda said quickly. She didn't want to bring Lee into this conversation and make things any harder than they already were. "It has nothing to do with Lee." She shifted nervously in her seat. "You see, sir, I am going to get married."
A look of shock crossed Billy's face and then was replaced with a look of happiness. "Oh, Amanda, congratulations!" he beamed. "Who is the lucky man?"
"It's Joe, my ex-husband," Amanda explained. "We've worked out our differences and have decided that we would like to give it another try."
"Well, Amanda, that's wonderful."
"Yes."
"When is the big date?"
"Well, we haven't set a date yet, sir. We really haven't even formally announced the engagement. We will be doing that tonight at a party that is being given in Joe's honor for all of the things he has done for EAO. You and Mrs. Melrose are invited if you would like to come, sir. We would be happy to have you." Amanda opened up her purse and handed Billy an invitation.
"Thank you, Amanda," Billy said, excepting the card graciously. "I'm not sure if I will be able to make it with work and all." Amanda nodded in understanding. "But, I certainly will be there if I can."
"Thank you, sir." Amanda stood up from her chair and Billy stood up too. Amanda held out her hand to Mr. Melrose. "I want to thank you for giving me the chance to work here and-"
"Amanda," Billy interrupted. "You don't have to thank me. We were glad to have you here. You turned out to be a darned good agent. It's not going to be the same without you."
"Thank you, sir."
"Billy," he corrected.
"Billy." Amanda smiled and walked slowly to the door. "Good-bye."
"Good-bye, Amanda."
* * * * *
Lee rubbed his eyes tiredly. Tonight, he and Eddie had finally caught Jimenez in an attempt to try and smuggle more drugs into the country in the inside of lifejackets. It had taken them a few weeks to track him down. He had gone to a lot of trouble to throw them of the trail, but after a tip from one of Eddie's informants they finally were able to find him. Fortunately, they got to him before he killed anybody this time.
There was a brief knock on the door and Lee looked up to see Eddie walk in. "Hey, it was great working with you today, Lee," Eddie said as he came to stand in front of Lee's borrowed desk. "It was like old times, wasn't it?"
"Yeah." Lee smiled up at his friend. "I only wish that it didn't have to happen under these circumstances." He closed the file containing his report. "At least, no one was killed this time, huh?"
"Thanks to you. You know, what they say is true, you are an even better agent today then you were back then." Lee shook his head in dismissal. "It's true," Eddie refuted. "In fact, my boss was so impressed by your work today that he wants to offer you a job."
"What!" Lee looked at Eddie in disbelief. "Eddie, come on. You know I can't work here. I already have a job back in D.C."
"So, you can transfer. People do it all the time."
"It's not that simple, Eddie. My life is there."
"You can get more girlfriends here," Eddie dismissed. "Knowing you, you probably already have some here." He winked at Lee.
"My contacts are there," Lee added, ignoring him.
"You'll make more here."
"And then there's Amanda," Lee blurted out before he could stop himself. He mentally kicked himself for letting that slip out. Now, he had made it sound like something was going on between Amanda and him.
"Oh, yes, Amanda," Eddie said, finally understanding. "Now I understand."
"Oh, you do, do you?" Lee snapped. He thrust the report towards Eddie.
"Yes, I do." He took the folder and started to back away towards the door. "Look, pal, I don't know why you just didn't say before what your reasons were for not wanting to go. If you have something going between you and your partner, then all you had to do was say so."
"Eddie!" Lee warned.
Eddie opened the door and paused just before exiting. "Look, if you ever change your mind about the job then the offer will always be here okay. We can always use you here."
"Thanks," Lee sincerely. He raised his hand in a brief wave as Eddie closed the door behind him.
Lee took a deep breath and slowly let it out. Now that this case was finally finished, he could go home. It seemed like ages since he was back in his apartment. Even longer since he had been sitting in the Q Bureau at his desk across from Amanda. Man it would be good to see her. He knew, of course, that when he got back that things weren't going to be as good as gold with her. After all, he had just packed up and left without saying a word. She was bound to be angry.
While he was gone, he had done a lot of thinking. He found that he could no longer deny his true feelings that he had for Amanda. In fact, he had really known that his feelings for her had run deeper than just a friendship for a long time. He just couldn't bring himself to admit it until now. The thought that she had been able to break down that carefully built wall that he had built around himself scared him. He never thought that anyone would ever be able to do it, but she did. And, in a big way, it was a relief to finally not have to have all of his defenses up.
When he got back and apologized for the way he acted on the day he left, he would tell her how he felt. He didn't know exactly what would happen then. He had never been in a situation exactly like this before. It was terrifying to think that she might reject him, but it was a chance that he would have to take.
* * * * *
"Billy, I got that background check for you that you wanted on Ray Delgrado," Francine said, placing a folder on Billy's desk. "If there isn't anything else you need, I am going to go." A smile appeared on her face as she thought about her upcoming evening. "I wouldn't miss the chance to see Amanda proposed to for anything. Just to think, after this we won't have to hear her endless chatter on how to get a grass stain out of sock."
"Francine," Billy warned.
"Okay. Okay," Francine relinquished. "I'll admit Amanda did come in handy on a few rare occasions. She never would have been my choice for someone who I would want backing me up in a mission, but she did have some qualities that could have turned her into an almost decent agent."
Billy shook his head at Francine's pathetic attempt at a compliment. He was about to tell Francine that she could go home for the day, when there was a knock on the door. "Come in."
"Hey, you know that half of your agents that you have out there are headed home early. You're not getting soft are you, Billy?" Lee laughed at the shocked expressions on Billy and Francine's face.
"Lee!" Francine gasped.
"Lee, we didn't expect you back," Billy said, pulling himself together. "When did you get in?"
"A few minutes ago." Lee came to stand in front of Billy's desk. "Hey, have either of you two seen Amanda? I went up to the Q Bureau, but she wasn't there. She didn't go home early, too, did she?"
"In a manner on speaking, she did, yes," Francine informed with a smile. The smile quickly disappeared after one glance at the scowl on Billy's face. "If you'll excuse me, I have somewhere to be tonight". Francine started towards the door. "It was nice seeing you again, Lee. You'll have to tell me how your trip went sometime." She quickly opened up the door and was gone.
"What's with her?" Lee jerked his thumb towards the door after her.
"Sit down, Lee," Billy said. He waited as Lee took a seat in one of the chairs.
"What is it, Billy?" He suddenly had a cold feeling in his chest. "Did something happen to Amanda?" he asked anxiously.
"No, she's fine," Billy consoled. He saw Lee immediately relax. "Lee, there isn't any easy way to tell you this, so I'll just say it. Amanda resigned. She no longer works at the Agency."
"What!" Lee bolted forward in his seat. "Why?" He stared at Billy in confusion. "Why would she do that? Did she say why, Billy?" Billy nodded reluctantly and Lee let out an angry sigh. "Well!"
"She's getting married, Lee."
Lee drew in a sharp breath. "She's what?"
"She's getting married. She's going to remarry Joe." Lee fell back against the back of the chair and listened numbly to what Billy was telling him. "They are announcing the engagement tonight at a party that is being held for Joe at the McConoughey Country Club. The wedding date hasn't been decided yet, but she has decided that she can't work here any more. She said in her resignation that she had enjoyed working here, but under the circumstances she just couldn't continue on. She said something about how she had at least reached her goal of being considered a decent agent in the eyes of the best." Billy shrugged. "I figure that you might have a better understanding for what that means then I did."
Lee nodded, remembering the words he had said to her after the Delano case. He had told her that she might even turn out to be a decent agent someday, as they were on the way to the hospital to get her treated from the drugs she had been given. He thought that she had been asleep when he said it. Otherwise, he would have kept that comment to himself. Apparently, she had remembered and had kept it from him all of this time.
He stood up from the chair and walked across to the door. He opened the door and he stilled at the sound of Billy's voice. "I'm sorry, Lee."
Lee nodded. "So am I."
* * * * *
Amanda stepped out onto the balcony. She slowly walked around the corner, the sound of the music fading behind her. She leaned against the railing, looking out at a small pond just below, as the bright moonlight bounced off of the water. It was such a beautiful night, Amanda thought. She took in a deep breath, as the breeze gently blew through her hair. Things would be absolutely perfect if Lee were here. Amanda felt a sudden pang of guilt in her stomach. What was she doing? She was supposed to be at a party celebrating her engagement to Joe, and she was out here wishing it was Lee instead.
It was such a ridiculous thought. She hadn't seen Lee for a little over two months now. He was off on some assignment in New York and probably having the time of his life. He was probably at some party right now. Dancing with some beautiful and glamorous woman who would probably end up going back to his apartment and.
Tears started to flood Amanda's eyes. She reached up and angrily pushed them away. She shouldn't waste her time crying over someone who didn't even think enough of her to even tell her that he was leaving, or where he was going, or how long he would be gone. "He didn't even say good-bye," she whispered.
Amanda heard a slight rustle in the bushes from her left. She spun around and stared into the darkness. "Amanda," Lee said quietly as he stepped out of the shadows and into the moonlight.
"Lee! You scared me to death!" Amanda let out a sigh of relief.
"Sorry, old habit," he shrugged guiltily.
"What are you doing here?"
Lee walked over to Amanda and took her hands in his. "You can't marry him, Amanda."
"What!" Amanda snatched her hands out of his and stepped away from him. "I can't believe you. First, you tell me I shouldn't go out with him. Then, you tell me that I should stay away from him. Now, you tell me that I can't marry him! Who do you think you are?"
"I think that I'm your friend-"
"Friend!" Amanda said cutting him off. "A friend would be happy for me. A friend would be in there," she pointed towards the house, "toasting me my good fortune. A friend would have said good-bye before he just ran off and disappeared for two months." Amanda felt tears start to sting her eyes and she turned away, hoping that Lee hadn't seen them.
"I'm sorry, Amanda. I-"
"Why, Lee?" Amanda said cutting him off again. She brushed the tears back from her eyes and turned to face him again. "Why can't I marry him?" Her voice came barely over a whisper and Lee had to strain to hear her voice.
"Because you can't," Lee said trying to avoid an explanation.
"Why?" she demanded.
"Because you don't love him, Amanda!" Lee turned away from her in frustration and pushed his fingers through his hair.
"What! And just how do you know that?" she shot back. Suddenly, Lee spun around, walked over to her and took her into his arms. He leaned his head down and captured her lips with his, in a long, slow, drugging kiss. After a few moments, he pulled away and looked down at her, watching her eyes flutter open.
"Because, you love me. Just as much as I love you," Lee said thickly. "I love you, Amanda." Amanda stared up at him in shock unable to believe she had heard him correctly. "I love you." Lee repeated as if he could read the doubtful thoughts flowing through her mind. "I have for a very, very long time. I just-"
"Amanda?" Lee and Amanda froze at the sound of Joe's voice. "Amanda, are you out here?" They listened as they heard him walk out onto the balcony.
"Look, Amanda," Lee said turning back to her, "if you don't feel the same way, then just tell me and I'll never bother you again." Lee stared down into her eyes silently pleading with her to tell him that she felt the same way.
She was about to say something when Joe walked around the corner, stopping suddenly when he saw Lee standing there holding Amanda in his arms. "What's going on here?" he demanded. He walked over, stepping in between Lee and Amanda. He looked down at Amanda's pale face. "Amanda, are you all right?" he put his arm protectively around her. "I think you better go," Joe said forcefully, looking back at Lee now. When Lee didn't move he yelled again. "Go!"
"Yeah," Lee agreed still looking at Amanda, "I think you're right." He slowly turned around and walked away.
Amanda watched in horror as he pushed through the small crowd, which had developed outside the door, and he suddenly disappeared. Unable to hold back the tears any longer, she pulled out of Joe's arms and pushed through the crowd until she reached the doors inside.
"Amanda!" Joe yelled, as he started to follow her.
"Joe," Dotty said, putting her hand on his arm to stop him, "Maybe you better let me talk to her."
"Yeah," Joe agreed reluctantly. "Maybe you're right."
* * * * *
Outside, Amanda sat on the side of the small fountain on the side of the house, unable to stop from crying. Her world was falling apart. Lee had just told her that he loved her and she didn't get a chance to tell him that she loved him, too. And now it was too late. He was gone. She buried her head in her arms as the tears started to come even harder.
"Amanda, darling." Dotty said as she sat down next to Amanda, taking her in her arms. "It's all right. Just let it all out." They sat there for several minutes. Dotty lovingly stroked Amanda's hair as she cried on her shoulder. Several minutes passed before Dotty finally spoke. "You're in love with him, aren't you?"
"How did you know?" Amanda gasped, pulling away to look up at her mother.
"I'm your mother, I know these things." Amanda stared at her unbelievingly. "Actually," Dotty continued, pulling Amanda back up against her shoulder, "I've had some suspicions for quite sometime now, that there was someone else. Over the past couple of weeks while making the wedding arrangements, I could tell that your heart just wasn't in it. That it was with someone else." Dotty placed her fingers under Amanda's chin and gently raised her face to meet hers. "Who is he?" she asked softly.
"His name is Lee Stetson, Mother." The tears started to well up in her eyes. "I work with him at I.F.F." she explained.
"But, I thought his name was Stedmon. Lee Stedmon."
"No, Mother." Amanda corrected. "Stetson. Lee Stetson." Amanda sat up and pushed her bangs out of her eyes.
"And?" Dotty pressed.
"And what?" She looked down at the ground.
"Well, you can't just sit there, Amanda. You have to go after him!"
"But-" Amanda started but Dotty cut her off.
"Amanda," she put her hands on Amanda's shoulders, turning her towards her to look into her eyes. "If you love him, then you have to go after him. Finding true love is not something that everyone in this world is lucky enough to find. And, if you are one of those few people who does find it, then you have to hold on to it and never let it go."
A slow smile spread across Amanda's face. "Do you really think that I."
"Yes, I do," Dotty answered, smiling at her daughter. "I really do."
Amanda leaned over and hugged her mother tightly. "Thank you, Mother." She pulled away still holding onto Dotty's hands. "Mother, I'll be gone for a little while," She stood up, "so if you could please. Oh no!" She stopped suddenly. "Joe." She frowned.
"It's okay, you can talk to him when you get back," Dotty dismissed, pulling Amanda's car keys out of her pants pocket and handing them to her. "Besides I think he already knows," she added ruefully.
"Thank you, Mother." She leaned down and kissed her mother quickly on the cheek. "I love you." Feeling a fluttery feeling of hopefulness in her chest, she spun around and walked quickly down the sidewalk, leading around to the front of he house, where her station wagon was parked in the driveway.
"I love you, too, darling," Dotty whispered as she watched her daughter disappear. "I love you, too."
* * * * *
Amanda knocked on the door to Lee's apartment for the third time and still there was no answer. Finally, she spun around and reached for the potted palm, which was sitting next to Lee's door. She remembered him saying that he kept a key under it. She felt under the bottom of it and sure enough there it was.
She unlocked Lee's door and opened it. She stepped inside of the dark room and felt for the switch on the wall. When she flipped it, she saw that the apartment looked like it hadn't been lived in for quite some time. A couple of his plants had died and were now completely brown. His answering machine was flashing that he still had messages waiting to be listened to. Amanda crossed the room to his bedroom. She opened the double-doors and saw that his bed looked like it hadn't been touched. She looked around the room and also saw that his suitcases were gone.
Amanda stepped back out into the family room. Surely, Lee had been back to his apartment since he got back. Amanda shook her head in confusion. Then where were his suitcases? He would have brought them back here, wouldn't he?
Feeling desperate, Amanda walked to the phone and snatched it up. She punched in the phone number for the Agency and waited impatiently. "Billy Melrose, please," she said to the operator. After a brief pause, she heard Billy's voice. "Hello, sir. It's Amanda. I'm looking for Lee. Have you seen him?"
"Amanda?" Billy said in confusion. "Lee just left here. He's headed for the airport."
"The airport?" Amanda repeated. Why would he be headed for the airport?
"Yes. He told me that he was offered a job in New York that he couldn't refuse and that he was leaving right away." Billy sighed in frustration. "Amanda, what is going on?"
Amanda didn't hear him. She had already put down the phone and was out the door.
* *
* * *
"Now, boarding passengers for flight 329," the voice called over the intercom.
Lee picked up his suitcase and began walking towards the gate. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Amanda coming towards him. How did she know he was here? He started walking faster hoping she wouldn't see him. It had been hard enough having her reject him before. He didn't want to have to stand there and listen to her try to gently tell him that she couldn't love him. It was better this way.
"Lee!" He heard Amanda call his name, but kept walking. "Lee, wait! Please." She was right behind him now, trying desperately to catch up.
"We don't have anything to talk about, Amanda," Lee said stubbornly without bothering to turn around. "We had an agreement and now I'm keeping my end of it. You don't have to worry about me bothering you ever again."
Amanda couldn't believe what was happening. He was leaving and he wasn't giving her a chance to explain how she felt. She couldn't let him go without knowing. She just couldn't. "How long?" She heard the question come out of her mouth. It wasn't what she had been planning on saying. She even surprised herself by saying it, but it was the only thing she could think of.
Apparently, it surprised Lee, too, because he stopped in his tracks. He slowly turned around and looked at her with a puzzled expression on his face. "What?"
Amanda walked forward closing the distance between them. She cleared her throat and looked into his eyes nervously. "You said you have loved me for a very long time, and I wanted to know how long." She watched Lee's reaction as he began to understand. He looked down at the floor, unable to look into her eyes and let out a long sigh.
"Does it really matter?" Lee asked, sounding frustrated.
"To me it does." Amanda started to reach out to touch his arm, but she saw him stiffen and paused.
"Why?"
"Because I want to know if you have been in love with me as I have been in love with you." Lee's head snapped up and he stared at her in confusion.
"What?"
"I love you, Lee," Amanda said softly.
"But back at the party you didn't say anything and I thought-" Lee babbled.
"Back at the party," Amanda said, cutting him off, "you didn't give me much of a chance to say anything." She smiled up at him and she saw the tension in Lee's face start to dissolve. "Besides, I was still trying to get over the shock from hearing you say that you loved me. I'm still trying to believe it." Nervously she started to babble "And I really wish you would say something, because I'm beginning to think that I just climbed too far out on the limb and am becoming really embarrassed that I told you that I."
In one swift movement, Lee dropped his suitcases, pulled Amanda into his arms and covered her mouth with his, stopping the steady flow of words. After several minutes, he reluctantly pulled away and smiled down at her.
Amanda drew in a deep breath, trying to make the dizziness go away. "Well, I guess I didn't just imagine it."
"No. I love you, Amanda King," Lee said firmly. "I love you very, very much."
"How much?" Amanda asked breathlessly.
"More than I can put into words." He smiled and then kissed her again. Lee slowly pulled away from Amanda and looked down at her seriously. "Amanda, what about Joe?"
"I'm not in love with him," Amanda said firmly. "I'm not going to marry him. We already tried that and it didn't work. It's too late to try again. Now, I am in love with someone else and I want to be with him."
"Amanda, are you sure?" Lee looked at her with some doubt still in his eyes.
"More sure than I can put into words." She smiled and then reached up and kissed him a long, slow kiss.
The End
Amanda took a deep breath as she entered the Bullpen. She looked across the room at Billy Melrose's office door and felt a feeling of sadness wash over her again. What she was about to do wasn't going to be easy, but it was something that was going to have to be done. There was no other way.
That night after Joe had asked her to marry him again, Amanda had had the most restless night she had ever had in her life. She paced endlessly around her room trying to weigh out the highs and lows of what could happen if she did marry Joe. She was also trying to weigh out what would happen if she didn't marry him.
If she did marry him it would mean that the boys would have their father back. The last couple of years, she had had to try and be both the mother and father figures in their lives, but, of course, having their father back was no comparison. There was so much that she couldn't do that he could.
If she married Joe, Amanda also knew that her mother would be thrilled. She knew because her mother had told her so. When Dotty had returned home from her dinner date with Mr. Parker, Amanda sat her mother down and told her what had happened between her and Joe. Her mother was very pleased for her and couldn't quite understand her daughter's hesitation. She did, however, tell Amanda that it was her decision and that she needed to do what was right for her. She also told her that she would support her with whatever decision she made. Her assurance made Amanda feel very loved and supported, but it still didn't make her decision any easier.
The problem was that Amanda didn't know what was right for her. When she was married to Joe, she was happy she supposed. She wasn't unhappy. There were times when she felt that something was missing, but she had just put that down to being one of the things that happened when you had been married for several years. But still, there was just something that wasn't quite there. But basically speaking, they were happy together. There was no reason why they couldn't be happy together again.
Of course, with the ups there were the downs. If Amanda married Joe, she would have to quit her job at the Agency. There was no possible way that she could continue to work there with Lee being there at the same time. She wouldn't be able to bare it. Having to see him every day would be pure torture. She wasn't about to admit to herself why, but it would.
She knew that leaving like this was taking the cowardly approach, knowing full well that this way she wouldn't have to face Lee. This way she could slip away quietly and they could forget all about each other. She could try and forget him, anyway. There was no way she could ever completely erase him from her mind. He had made too much of an impact on who she was today. He had given her back her confidence as a person and as a woman. She didn't know what she was going to do without him. "But life must go on," she told herself.
Amanda crossed the Bullpen and knocked briskly on Billy's office door, clutching the envelope containing her resignation, tightly in her other hand. At his prompting she opened it and came in.
"Amanda," Billy smiled at Amanda and gestured for her to take a seat. "Please, sit down."
"Thank you, sir," Amanda came around to one of the chairs and sat down opposite of her boss. She held out the envelope to him and nervously cleared her throat. "Um, I wanted to give this to you, sir," Amanda said as she watched Billy open the envelope and begin to read the letter inside. She saw him frown as he reached the part about her resigning and she immediately felt that she needed to explain. "I know this is very sudden."
Billy glanced up briefly from the letter to look at her. "Yes, it is." He looked back down at the letter in his hands and appeared to be rereading it to make sure that he had understood it correctly. He knew there was some tension between his best agents before Lee had left, but he didn't think it had gotten so far out of hand that it would cause Amanda to do this. He looked up at Amanda with confusion. "Did Lee do something to cause this?" he frowned.
"No," Amanda said quickly. She didn't want to bring Lee into this conversation and make things any harder than they already were. "It has nothing to do with Lee." She shifted nervously in her seat. "You see, sir, I am going to get married."
A look of shock crossed Billy's face and then was replaced with a look of happiness. "Oh, Amanda, congratulations!" he beamed. "Who is the lucky man?"
"It's Joe, my ex-husband," Amanda explained. "We've worked out our differences and have decided that we would like to give it another try."
"Well, Amanda, that's wonderful."
"Yes."
"When is the big date?"
"Well, we haven't set a date yet, sir. We really haven't even formally announced the engagement. We will be doing that tonight at a party that is being given in Joe's honor for all of the things he has done for EAO. You and Mrs. Melrose are invited if you would like to come, sir. We would be happy to have you." Amanda opened up her purse and handed Billy an invitation.
"Thank you, Amanda," Billy said, excepting the card graciously. "I'm not sure if I will be able to make it with work and all." Amanda nodded in understanding. "But, I certainly will be there if I can."
"Thank you, sir." Amanda stood up from her chair and Billy stood up too. Amanda held out her hand to Mr. Melrose. "I want to thank you for giving me the chance to work here and-"
"Amanda," Billy interrupted. "You don't have to thank me. We were glad to have you here. You turned out to be a darned good agent. It's not going to be the same without you."
"Thank you, sir."
"Billy," he corrected.
"Billy." Amanda smiled and walked slowly to the door. "Good-bye."
"Good-bye, Amanda."
* * * * *
Lee rubbed his eyes tiredly. Tonight, he and Eddie had finally caught Jimenez in an attempt to try and smuggle more drugs into the country in the inside of lifejackets. It had taken them a few weeks to track him down. He had gone to a lot of trouble to throw them of the trail, but after a tip from one of Eddie's informants they finally were able to find him. Fortunately, they got to him before he killed anybody this time.
There was a brief knock on the door and Lee looked up to see Eddie walk in. "Hey, it was great working with you today, Lee," Eddie said as he came to stand in front of Lee's borrowed desk. "It was like old times, wasn't it?"
"Yeah." Lee smiled up at his friend. "I only wish that it didn't have to happen under these circumstances." He closed the file containing his report. "At least, no one was killed this time, huh?"
"Thanks to you. You know, what they say is true, you are an even better agent today then you were back then." Lee shook his head in dismissal. "It's true," Eddie refuted. "In fact, my boss was so impressed by your work today that he wants to offer you a job."
"What!" Lee looked at Eddie in disbelief. "Eddie, come on. You know I can't work here. I already have a job back in D.C."
"So, you can transfer. People do it all the time."
"It's not that simple, Eddie. My life is there."
"You can get more girlfriends here," Eddie dismissed. "Knowing you, you probably already have some here." He winked at Lee.
"My contacts are there," Lee added, ignoring him.
"You'll make more here."
"And then there's Amanda," Lee blurted out before he could stop himself. He mentally kicked himself for letting that slip out. Now, he had made it sound like something was going on between Amanda and him.
"Oh, yes, Amanda," Eddie said, finally understanding. "Now I understand."
"Oh, you do, do you?" Lee snapped. He thrust the report towards Eddie.
"Yes, I do." He took the folder and started to back away towards the door. "Look, pal, I don't know why you just didn't say before what your reasons were for not wanting to go. If you have something going between you and your partner, then all you had to do was say so."
"Eddie!" Lee warned.
Eddie opened the door and paused just before exiting. "Look, if you ever change your mind about the job then the offer will always be here okay. We can always use you here."
"Thanks," Lee sincerely. He raised his hand in a brief wave as Eddie closed the door behind him.
Lee took a deep breath and slowly let it out. Now that this case was finally finished, he could go home. It seemed like ages since he was back in his apartment. Even longer since he had been sitting in the Q Bureau at his desk across from Amanda. Man it would be good to see her. He knew, of course, that when he got back that things weren't going to be as good as gold with her. After all, he had just packed up and left without saying a word. She was bound to be angry.
While he was gone, he had done a lot of thinking. He found that he could no longer deny his true feelings that he had for Amanda. In fact, he had really known that his feelings for her had run deeper than just a friendship for a long time. He just couldn't bring himself to admit it until now. The thought that she had been able to break down that carefully built wall that he had built around himself scared him. He never thought that anyone would ever be able to do it, but she did. And, in a big way, it was a relief to finally not have to have all of his defenses up.
When he got back and apologized for the way he acted on the day he left, he would tell her how he felt. He didn't know exactly what would happen then. He had never been in a situation exactly like this before. It was terrifying to think that she might reject him, but it was a chance that he would have to take.
* * * * *
"Billy, I got that background check for you that you wanted on Ray Delgrado," Francine said, placing a folder on Billy's desk. "If there isn't anything else you need, I am going to go." A smile appeared on her face as she thought about her upcoming evening. "I wouldn't miss the chance to see Amanda proposed to for anything. Just to think, after this we won't have to hear her endless chatter on how to get a grass stain out of sock."
"Francine," Billy warned.
"Okay. Okay," Francine relinquished. "I'll admit Amanda did come in handy on a few rare occasions. She never would have been my choice for someone who I would want backing me up in a mission, but she did have some qualities that could have turned her into an almost decent agent."
Billy shook his head at Francine's pathetic attempt at a compliment. He was about to tell Francine that she could go home for the day, when there was a knock on the door. "Come in."
"Hey, you know that half of your agents that you have out there are headed home early. You're not getting soft are you, Billy?" Lee laughed at the shocked expressions on Billy and Francine's face.
"Lee!" Francine gasped.
"Lee, we didn't expect you back," Billy said, pulling himself together. "When did you get in?"
"A few minutes ago." Lee came to stand in front of Billy's desk. "Hey, have either of you two seen Amanda? I went up to the Q Bureau, but she wasn't there. She didn't go home early, too, did she?"
"In a manner on speaking, she did, yes," Francine informed with a smile. The smile quickly disappeared after one glance at the scowl on Billy's face. "If you'll excuse me, I have somewhere to be tonight". Francine started towards the door. "It was nice seeing you again, Lee. You'll have to tell me how your trip went sometime." She quickly opened up the door and was gone.
"What's with her?" Lee jerked his thumb towards the door after her.
"Sit down, Lee," Billy said. He waited as Lee took a seat in one of the chairs.
"What is it, Billy?" He suddenly had a cold feeling in his chest. "Did something happen to Amanda?" he asked anxiously.
"No, she's fine," Billy consoled. He saw Lee immediately relax. "Lee, there isn't any easy way to tell you this, so I'll just say it. Amanda resigned. She no longer works at the Agency."
"What!" Lee bolted forward in his seat. "Why?" He stared at Billy in confusion. "Why would she do that? Did she say why, Billy?" Billy nodded reluctantly and Lee let out an angry sigh. "Well!"
"She's getting married, Lee."
Lee drew in a sharp breath. "She's what?"
"She's getting married. She's going to remarry Joe." Lee fell back against the back of the chair and listened numbly to what Billy was telling him. "They are announcing the engagement tonight at a party that is being held for Joe at the McConoughey Country Club. The wedding date hasn't been decided yet, but she has decided that she can't work here any more. She said in her resignation that she had enjoyed working here, but under the circumstances she just couldn't continue on. She said something about how she had at least reached her goal of being considered a decent agent in the eyes of the best." Billy shrugged. "I figure that you might have a better understanding for what that means then I did."
Lee nodded, remembering the words he had said to her after the Delano case. He had told her that she might even turn out to be a decent agent someday, as they were on the way to the hospital to get her treated from the drugs she had been given. He thought that she had been asleep when he said it. Otherwise, he would have kept that comment to himself. Apparently, she had remembered and had kept it from him all of this time.
He stood up from the chair and walked across to the door. He opened the door and he stilled at the sound of Billy's voice. "I'm sorry, Lee."
Lee nodded. "So am I."
* * * * *
Amanda stepped out onto the balcony. She slowly walked around the corner, the sound of the music fading behind her. She leaned against the railing, looking out at a small pond just below, as the bright moonlight bounced off of the water. It was such a beautiful night, Amanda thought. She took in a deep breath, as the breeze gently blew through her hair. Things would be absolutely perfect if Lee were here. Amanda felt a sudden pang of guilt in her stomach. What was she doing? She was supposed to be at a party celebrating her engagement to Joe, and she was out here wishing it was Lee instead.
It was such a ridiculous thought. She hadn't seen Lee for a little over two months now. He was off on some assignment in New York and probably having the time of his life. He was probably at some party right now. Dancing with some beautiful and glamorous woman who would probably end up going back to his apartment and.
Tears started to flood Amanda's eyes. She reached up and angrily pushed them away. She shouldn't waste her time crying over someone who didn't even think enough of her to even tell her that he was leaving, or where he was going, or how long he would be gone. "He didn't even say good-bye," she whispered.
Amanda heard a slight rustle in the bushes from her left. She spun around and stared into the darkness. "Amanda," Lee said quietly as he stepped out of the shadows and into the moonlight.
"Lee! You scared me to death!" Amanda let out a sigh of relief.
"Sorry, old habit," he shrugged guiltily.
"What are you doing here?"
Lee walked over to Amanda and took her hands in his. "You can't marry him, Amanda."
"What!" Amanda snatched her hands out of his and stepped away from him. "I can't believe you. First, you tell me I shouldn't go out with him. Then, you tell me that I should stay away from him. Now, you tell me that I can't marry him! Who do you think you are?"
"I think that I'm your friend-"
"Friend!" Amanda said cutting him off. "A friend would be happy for me. A friend would be in there," she pointed towards the house, "toasting me my good fortune. A friend would have said good-bye before he just ran off and disappeared for two months." Amanda felt tears start to sting her eyes and she turned away, hoping that Lee hadn't seen them.
"I'm sorry, Amanda. I-"
"Why, Lee?" Amanda said cutting him off again. She brushed the tears back from her eyes and turned to face him again. "Why can't I marry him?" Her voice came barely over a whisper and Lee had to strain to hear her voice.
"Because you can't," Lee said trying to avoid an explanation.
"Why?" she demanded.
"Because you don't love him, Amanda!" Lee turned away from her in frustration and pushed his fingers through his hair.
"What! And just how do you know that?" she shot back. Suddenly, Lee spun around, walked over to her and took her into his arms. He leaned his head down and captured her lips with his, in a long, slow, drugging kiss. After a few moments, he pulled away and looked down at her, watching her eyes flutter open.
"Because, you love me. Just as much as I love you," Lee said thickly. "I love you, Amanda." Amanda stared up at him in shock unable to believe she had heard him correctly. "I love you." Lee repeated as if he could read the doubtful thoughts flowing through her mind. "I have for a very, very long time. I just-"
"Amanda?" Lee and Amanda froze at the sound of Joe's voice. "Amanda, are you out here?" They listened as they heard him walk out onto the balcony.
"Look, Amanda," Lee said turning back to her, "if you don't feel the same way, then just tell me and I'll never bother you again." Lee stared down into her eyes silently pleading with her to tell him that she felt the same way.
She was about to say something when Joe walked around the corner, stopping suddenly when he saw Lee standing there holding Amanda in his arms. "What's going on here?" he demanded. He walked over, stepping in between Lee and Amanda. He looked down at Amanda's pale face. "Amanda, are you all right?" he put his arm protectively around her. "I think you better go," Joe said forcefully, looking back at Lee now. When Lee didn't move he yelled again. "Go!"
"Yeah," Lee agreed still looking at Amanda, "I think you're right." He slowly turned around and walked away.
Amanda watched in horror as he pushed through the small crowd, which had developed outside the door, and he suddenly disappeared. Unable to hold back the tears any longer, she pulled out of Joe's arms and pushed through the crowd until she reached the doors inside.
"Amanda!" Joe yelled, as he started to follow her.
"Joe," Dotty said, putting her hand on his arm to stop him, "Maybe you better let me talk to her."
"Yeah," Joe agreed reluctantly. "Maybe you're right."
* * * * *
Outside, Amanda sat on the side of the small fountain on the side of the house, unable to stop from crying. Her world was falling apart. Lee had just told her that he loved her and she didn't get a chance to tell him that she loved him, too. And now it was too late. He was gone. She buried her head in her arms as the tears started to come even harder.
"Amanda, darling." Dotty said as she sat down next to Amanda, taking her in her arms. "It's all right. Just let it all out." They sat there for several minutes. Dotty lovingly stroked Amanda's hair as she cried on her shoulder. Several minutes passed before Dotty finally spoke. "You're in love with him, aren't you?"
"How did you know?" Amanda gasped, pulling away to look up at her mother.
"I'm your mother, I know these things." Amanda stared at her unbelievingly. "Actually," Dotty continued, pulling Amanda back up against her shoulder, "I've had some suspicions for quite sometime now, that there was someone else. Over the past couple of weeks while making the wedding arrangements, I could tell that your heart just wasn't in it. That it was with someone else." Dotty placed her fingers under Amanda's chin and gently raised her face to meet hers. "Who is he?" she asked softly.
"His name is Lee Stetson, Mother." The tears started to well up in her eyes. "I work with him at I.F.F." she explained.
"But, I thought his name was Stedmon. Lee Stedmon."
"No, Mother." Amanda corrected. "Stetson. Lee Stetson." Amanda sat up and pushed her bangs out of her eyes.
"And?" Dotty pressed.
"And what?" She looked down at the ground.
"Well, you can't just sit there, Amanda. You have to go after him!"
"But-" Amanda started but Dotty cut her off.
"Amanda," she put her hands on Amanda's shoulders, turning her towards her to look into her eyes. "If you love him, then you have to go after him. Finding true love is not something that everyone in this world is lucky enough to find. And, if you are one of those few people who does find it, then you have to hold on to it and never let it go."
A slow smile spread across Amanda's face. "Do you really think that I."
"Yes, I do," Dotty answered, smiling at her daughter. "I really do."
Amanda leaned over and hugged her mother tightly. "Thank you, Mother." She pulled away still holding onto Dotty's hands. "Mother, I'll be gone for a little while," She stood up, "so if you could please. Oh no!" She stopped suddenly. "Joe." She frowned.
"It's okay, you can talk to him when you get back," Dotty dismissed, pulling Amanda's car keys out of her pants pocket and handing them to her. "Besides I think he already knows," she added ruefully.
"Thank you, Mother." She leaned down and kissed her mother quickly on the cheek. "I love you." Feeling a fluttery feeling of hopefulness in her chest, she spun around and walked quickly down the sidewalk, leading around to the front of he house, where her station wagon was parked in the driveway.
"I love you, too, darling," Dotty whispered as she watched her daughter disappear. "I love you, too."
* * * * *
Amanda knocked on the door to Lee's apartment for the third time and still there was no answer. Finally, she spun around and reached for the potted palm, which was sitting next to Lee's door. She remembered him saying that he kept a key under it. She felt under the bottom of it and sure enough there it was.
She unlocked Lee's door and opened it. She stepped inside of the dark room and felt for the switch on the wall. When she flipped it, she saw that the apartment looked like it hadn't been lived in for quite some time. A couple of his plants had died and were now completely brown. His answering machine was flashing that he still had messages waiting to be listened to. Amanda crossed the room to his bedroom. She opened the double-doors and saw that his bed looked like it hadn't been touched. She looked around the room and also saw that his suitcases were gone.
Amanda stepped back out into the family room. Surely, Lee had been back to his apartment since he got back. Amanda shook her head in confusion. Then where were his suitcases? He would have brought them back here, wouldn't he?
Feeling desperate, Amanda walked to the phone and snatched it up. She punched in the phone number for the Agency and waited impatiently. "Billy Melrose, please," she said to the operator. After a brief pause, she heard Billy's voice. "Hello, sir. It's Amanda. I'm looking for Lee. Have you seen him?"
"Amanda?" Billy said in confusion. "Lee just left here. He's headed for the airport."
"The airport?" Amanda repeated. Why would he be headed for the airport?
"Yes. He told me that he was offered a job in New York that he couldn't refuse and that he was leaving right away." Billy sighed in frustration. "Amanda, what is going on?"
Amanda didn't hear him. She had already put down the phone and was out the door.
* *
* * *
"Now, boarding passengers for flight 329," the voice called over the intercom.
Lee picked up his suitcase and began walking towards the gate. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Amanda coming towards him. How did she know he was here? He started walking faster hoping she wouldn't see him. It had been hard enough having her reject him before. He didn't want to have to stand there and listen to her try to gently tell him that she couldn't love him. It was better this way.
"Lee!" He heard Amanda call his name, but kept walking. "Lee, wait! Please." She was right behind him now, trying desperately to catch up.
"We don't have anything to talk about, Amanda," Lee said stubbornly without bothering to turn around. "We had an agreement and now I'm keeping my end of it. You don't have to worry about me bothering you ever again."
Amanda couldn't believe what was happening. He was leaving and he wasn't giving her a chance to explain how she felt. She couldn't let him go without knowing. She just couldn't. "How long?" She heard the question come out of her mouth. It wasn't what she had been planning on saying. She even surprised herself by saying it, but it was the only thing she could think of.
Apparently, it surprised Lee, too, because he stopped in his tracks. He slowly turned around and looked at her with a puzzled expression on his face. "What?"
Amanda walked forward closing the distance between them. She cleared her throat and looked into his eyes nervously. "You said you have loved me for a very long time, and I wanted to know how long." She watched Lee's reaction as he began to understand. He looked down at the floor, unable to look into her eyes and let out a long sigh.
"Does it really matter?" Lee asked, sounding frustrated.
"To me it does." Amanda started to reach out to touch his arm, but she saw him stiffen and paused.
"Why?"
"Because I want to know if you have been in love with me as I have been in love with you." Lee's head snapped up and he stared at her in confusion.
"What?"
"I love you, Lee," Amanda said softly.
"But back at the party you didn't say anything and I thought-" Lee babbled.
"Back at the party," Amanda said, cutting him off, "you didn't give me much of a chance to say anything." She smiled up at him and she saw the tension in Lee's face start to dissolve. "Besides, I was still trying to get over the shock from hearing you say that you loved me. I'm still trying to believe it." Nervously she started to babble "And I really wish you would say something, because I'm beginning to think that I just climbed too far out on the limb and am becoming really embarrassed that I told you that I."
In one swift movement, Lee dropped his suitcases, pulled Amanda into his arms and covered her mouth with his, stopping the steady flow of words. After several minutes, he reluctantly pulled away and smiled down at her.
Amanda drew in a deep breath, trying to make the dizziness go away. "Well, I guess I didn't just imagine it."
"No. I love you, Amanda King," Lee said firmly. "I love you very, very much."
"How much?" Amanda asked breathlessly.
"More than I can put into words." He smiled and then kissed her again. Lee slowly pulled away from Amanda and looked down at her seriously. "Amanda, what about Joe?"
"I'm not in love with him," Amanda said firmly. "I'm not going to marry him. We already tried that and it didn't work. It's too late to try again. Now, I am in love with someone else and I want to be with him."
"Amanda, are you sure?" Lee looked at her with some doubt still in his eyes.
"More sure than I can put into words." She smiled and then reached up and kissed him a long, slow kiss.
The End