AN: I own nothing. This a AU fic where there is no such thing as Death Eaters. Voldermort is still in his teens as Tom Riddle, and the year is 2002.

I'm Going Down.

Chapter One

A thin and pale figure of Severus Snape crawled out from under covers of his bed in the Hospital Wing of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The frail 16 year old boy wheezed and coughed up a bit more blood.  He felt around the bandages that were wrapped around his wispy like frame. He had two cracked ribs, a broken nose, a black eye, and a split lip. And it was all thanks to Potter and his lackeys. The marauders done this to him and they only got away with a few detentions and warnings. If the bell didn't ring for the next class he honestly thought they would have beat him with an inch of his life. He was proud to be in the Slytherin house and to be a pureblood wizard. But he hated his life. He hated this school. He hated the teachers for never sticking up and backing him up when he needed them. They didn't care what happened to me as long as I was out of their hair. But most of all he hated the marauders. Especially Potter and Black. Arrogant prats! They were the bane of his existence. They were everything he was not. They were tall, handsome, healthy looking, popular, smart, and worshiped by the whole school. He was on the other hand short, pale, with greasy looking hair and face, unpopular, not that smart in any subject(except potions!! ^_~V), and hated by all.

Severus climbed out the bed gingerly as he could without injuring himself more. As he snuck out the hospital into the cool night of the hall he tried to suppress the memory of the beating he received that afternoon after lunch because he accidentally stepped on Potter's foot. Damn him for doing this to me. Damn him getting away it and me for being too weak to defend himself. He went to down to the dungeons to the Slytherin Common Room. Said to the password to the portrait and slinked in and went his room. He gathered a few things from his trunk and snuck out into the hall again. He looked around to see if the bloody git Fltch and his bloody cat. He didn't see either of them so he headed out into the hall on his way to the lake. When he made it the lake he plopped down under the cherry oak tree in the corner so he won't be noticed. He dropped his things down beside him and spread them out. He laid out a diary, a beautifully jeweled dagger, a bottle of absolute vodka, a few fully rolled blunts, a CD player and CDs.  His cousin Antoinette Goodewell gave all these things to him for his birthday a few months ago. He loved his sister even though he only new for 3 years. For most of his adolescent life he never knew she existed until that fateful summer three years ago.

~ Flashback – Muggle London three years ago ~

Severus was walking down the street peering at the muggles and shops. Contrary to popular belief he didn't hate muggles or muggle-borns.  He just pretended to act like he hated everything to do with muggles and muggle-borns the way people thought how would. He thought it wasn't worth it trying to correct them so why bother? He in fact had a crush on a muggle-born last year but got over it. Her name was Lily Evans. He knew she would never give him the time of day so why pine over her? He continued strolling down the street deep in thought when he bumped into someone and they both fell down.

"Oh! I'm sorry!! Let me help you up," said a nasally but silky voice.

He was about to push the small freckled hands away and say leave me alone when saw her face. She looked just like him with a few differences. She was the colour of butter with a slight dust of brown freckled on her fair skin. Her lips were big while his were thin. Her skin was less greasy and almost pimple free. Her hair was wavy and dark brown with jet-black highlights. Her face was more filled out than his and she had a very healthy figure. And she was taller than him too. He hopped back in fright as soon as he was hailed up from the ground.

"Wh-hhh… Who the hell are you?" he stuttered while trembling with shock and curiously.

"hmrph! I'm Antoinette Scarlet Goodewell and who the hell are you, you rude lil git!?" sneered the young woman with her hands on her ample hips.

I-i-i-I'm Sevverusss Snape," stutter the embarrassed boy. Something flashed behind the woman's eyes that he couldn't read.

"Snape you say?" asked Antoinette with narrowed eyes.

"Yes," drawled Severus with a dignified pride.

"You wouldn't happen to be the son of Emmaline Snape are you?" pressed the young woman.

"yes, I am," sniped an irate Snape. He was getting tired of all these questions and wanted to be on his way.

"Oh my goodness… I can't believe it. Severus! I'm your cousin," beamed the now hyper woman.

"Why are you babbling about woman?" sneered Severus as he narrowed his eyes at the woman.

"oooohhhhh! Yoru asswipe of a father still hasn't forgiven my mother? Aw well. I'll tell you about it in that café over there and just call me Tete for now on," instructed Antoinette.

"uhhhh. Alright," grunted Severus as he followed the woman rabid curiosity. He learned that his aunt fell in love and married a muggle and was disowned from the family. His aunt was the younger one of the two siblings and extremely stubborn and hot tempered. His father, Tobias had a big row with Emma and haven't spoken since then. His cousin was 18 then and was just accepted into a muggle college so she could be a psychiatrist. He got to now his cousin better over the rest of the summer and have been inseparable since. 

~End of Flashback ~

He couldn't bare to be separated from his cousin at first and wanted to live with her and go to a muggle. But his father wouldn't hear of it. Still had to come to bloody freaking Hogwarts. Aw well. At least he has the diary his cousin gave him. It's a special kind of diary. He can write do messages to his cousin through the diary to her diary that was identical to his. They could read eachother's entries without people knowing it. The magic and wards surrounding the diaries were powerful and only they could open them. If anyone else even tried to take a pea into the diaries they encounter a very painful shock. He lit a spliff and smoked it as he put his favorite Linkin Park CD in his walkman and listened to it. He skipped to number four on the "Hybrid Theory" CD as he sliced into left wrist with dagger. 'Fucking Potter and Black. Why the hell have I ever done to those bloody prats to deserve this kind abuse?' Severus thought as he sliced into his other wrist. 'It isn't enough that he was a loner/loser with enough pride to chock a horse and gay in a homophobic school. He had to have a crush on his on his main tormentor. That's right. I liked that arrogant, conceited, sexy git named James fucking Potter,' he griped to himself. As he felt the blood flow from his body and his life force fade. He picked up his diary with shaky fingers and wrote his last message to cousin.

'I'm sorry tete. I wasn't strong enough to hold on a bit longer *a single tear drips onto the page with smeared bloody fingerprints* I love you and the rest of the family. I'll wait for you on the other side… See you Sweet Te.

 Sevvie'

As he wrote the last word he closed the diary and smoked the blunt down to it's roach as his life faded away in a hazy bubble and finally felt at peace.

~ At that moment- a random GSU dorm room ~

Tete shot up out of bed with a jolt. He senses tingled. Something was wrong with Severus. She didn't know what but something was wrong with favorite and only cousin. She got out of bed and walked over her to diary to read what Severus has written lately.

TBC…

AN: Hello. I know Severus is out of character but this how I see him when was little and not all that bitter yet. ; I hope I get some reviews. This will be a JPSS slash. I find the couple intriguing. Well, you know the drill! Review!