The comedy of Errors…and Harry

Chapter 4- Part of me

AN- Look a new chapter!! Yeah.

Minutes turned to hours, hours turned to days, days turned to weeks, and weeks turned into months and before I knew it, that little not so innocent deed on that not so cold night, found myself unable to leave Hermione's side. Permanently. Everywhere I went, she'd be right by me. Literally, joined at the hips…well almost. But, how was that different from any other day of the week you ask? Well…it just was. She's different. She. Hermione. I can't believe it took us so long to get where we were that day. Sometimes I would wonder, what would life have been like if I hadn't met her. DON'T YOU EVER THINK THAT!!!!!!!! Then that would happen. I would end up stressing myself out even more. It would and will always be a hidden curiosity of mine to wonder "what if?" or "what not?" But, anyways…that's beside the point.

It was about a month and half after our little "interlude". Nothing you could have said would have made my days bad. Not even rainy days on quidditch could send my highs to lows. And that was saying something obviously. All it would take was a simple thought of her. Her hair, her lips, her clothes, her scent, etc, etc, etc…. I'm lost. Speaking of her. I haven't seen her since this morning. Which is odd. Very odd…I catch Ron sneaking a glance towards Lavender's direction. That boy makes is so obvious. Any fool can see. I sigh out of frustration. I need to get out of here…please…. let me go!!! Need air to breathe. DING. Finally. I practically run out of muggle studies by myself. Yes I'm taking muggle studies now. Hmm I wonder why? It only took switching this and that, dropping this for that but hey! It all worked out in my schedule right? God go go go go!! GOD! Stupid people are so slow at walking!! I haven't seen Hermione since this morning at breakfast. Four hours ago. FOUR HOURS AGO!! Almost there, almost there, almost there. I run straight through the passing crowds towards Gryffindor common room and find her reading a book on a rather comfy looking couch. Who would have guessed? She looks up but what I'm greeted with isn't a friendly smile, not a hey hottie how are you today, nor a hey best friend wanna go snog later kind of smile, but a wane weak forced kind of smile. I return what's reflected towards me.

"Hey Hermione." I say as I pat her on her leg. Obviously to anyone else would be a rather platonic gesture, but to us was a secret message simply saying "I'm there for you babe."

"Hey you." She's looking at her feet.

"What? What is it?" I lift her chin with my hand.

"It's nothing Harry, don't worry about it." She flashes one of biggest most false phony looking Hermione Granger smiles ever. I laugh at what she's trying to do. Cover up. My little cover girl. I pretend like I'm not annoyed. "It's just that I'm not quite feeling like myself today or actually, haven't for the past couple of days really."

"Really what is it? Your brain? Thinking too much?" I laugh at my own joke. She doesn't.

"My stomach actually."

"Why? Something you ate perhaps?"

"Maybe…" She still looks at the floor.

"Hermione…do you wan-."

"HARRY!!! HERMIONE!!! There you two are!!" There goes Oblivious Inopportune Ron once again. Do you have any idea how hard it is not to tell your best friend that you're in love with your other best friend, to tell him that we're secretly dating, that that one nightstand led us to where we are today? Any idea?? You'd think after all these little interruptions he'd get the hint, but no, it's Oblivious Inopportune Ron. Whatever. "Where you two been??? It's lunch time and they're serving the most delicious looking apple pie Harry!"

"Ron there are more important things than apple pie. Hermione's not feeling well."

"Really what's wrong?"

"I don't know…"

"Food may help." He looks dreamy, and quite obviously probably isthinking of that damn pie again.

"Ron the last thing I want now is food…"

"Well alright…suit yourself." He says looking disappointed.

"Ron why don't you go down and eat the delicious looking pie…is that the only reason you came up here?"

"Well…yea pretty much." He looks wide-eyed at me. Like it's the craziest thing to miss, apple pie.

"Look, I'll see you down there ok?" I say as nicely as possible.

"Ok…bye for now then." Then he walks casually away.

"Bye Ron." We say in unison. I sigh out of relief and frustration. I swear to god he just pops out of nowhere.

"Hermione you sure you're ok?"

"Yeah, I think I'm going to go lie down in my room."

"Well alright, you know…Her-."

"I know Harry, really I think I'll be fine. I'm just not feeling that well today. I'll see you later k?

"Ok." And then she does something that she's never done before. She kisses my cheek in PUBLIC and what better place then the Gryffindor common room! Nobody suspects a thing though. I watch her as she painfully walks up the stairs to her room. She turns around just as she's about to say the password when she shoots one of her fake cover up smiles, I return the same. I'm completely lost as to what's really going on in that stomach of hers…

Well I had to admit that that damn pie was worth the fuss Ron put me through. When we finished eating I ran up to Hermione's room to check up on her before I went to Potions with Ron. After I said the password I quickly descend to her bedroom to find it empty, but quickly I'm attracted to a soft glow coming from the bathroom door. As I enter, softly knocking on the door even though it's already open might I add I find her on the floor crying her eyes out. I run to her and gather her in my arms.

"Hermione baby, what happened?"

"I-I c-can't s-stop throwing up…" She sputters in my shoulder. I smooth her hair back.

"Awww poor baby." I don't know what I did but as soon as that last word came out she started all over again.

"Oh Harry…."

"What did I say? What? Hermione what is it?"

"ARE YOU COMPLETEY INSANE!!!!!!!!(AN-I just saw Malcolm's mom on TV. Lol) isn't it obvious?" She breaks down harder.

"Guess so…."I mumble answering her first question.

"Harry I'm I'm-."

"Yes?"

"I'm I'm…going to hurl again!" I turn around just as her head plows into the white porcelain bowl for what had to be the umpteen time that hour. Something's not right. What's so obvious? I have a women who has had stomach problems the past couple days, whom is now throwing up without interruption… Stomach virus? Yeah that must be it. Just then she stands up and brushes her teeth. She's still crying. She's trying her best to brush her teeth while cry at the same time.

"Here." I take her toothbrush out of her mouth and fill up a glass of water to rinse out the remaining foam. After she's cleaned up, she hugs me tightly.

"I'm so scared."

"Of what? The pain? Let me take you down to the hospital wing."

"Harry!"

"What?" I can't stand looking at her anymore. She depresses me when she cries. Of course, I've never seen her like this before. Not ever like this. Something's wrong. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Don't say that…"

"What? Baby? Don't say baby why?"

"Harry-I'm I'm-."

"Spit it out!"

"PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!" Ohhhhhh…. welll… ummmmmm

"Ohhhhhhhhh….well…..ummmmmmm."

"Yeah, I knew you'd say that!" She pushes me out of the bathroom and locks the door in my face. Shit. Come on say it.

"SHIT!" I slump down to the floor and you know what? Fuck it. I cry. "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I did a spell on myself this afternoon when you were at lunch." Her voice is muffled from the door being closed.

"Hermione can I come in…. please?" I'm so desperate for an answer as to what to do. She opens the door a crack. Hinting for me to come in. As I open it, I dry my tears with my hand and walk in. I've never seen such a sight. Hermione lost and confused. No book could tell you how to get out of this mess.

"Hermione I'm never ever going to leave you."

"Of course, that's what you except them to say. I hear it all the time."

"Hear what? I'm not them Hermione I'm me."

"They always say, "Oh baby I'll never leave you." And then they do!!!

"Hermione please, I love you…it's just how did…."

"I can't believe you have the nerve to ask HOW! Harry you know just how this happened. The night we were drunk." She closes the toilet seat and sits on it. Her head is in her hands. "And even if we were sober, I don't think I could have stopped." I'm lost in words now. I have no idea what to say. Everything I've tried to say only ends up ten times worse. "I'm sooo scared Harry." I kneel in front of her and lift her chin with my finger.

"I'm scared too." Her face scrunches up and she cries once more. She slides off the toilet onto the floor with me and buries her face in my chest.

"Do you want this child Harry?" How do you answer that kind of question about wanting a kid when you're still in your adolescence practically?

"Hermione this is a part of me, a part of my responsibility too. I'll do anything and everything I can to make it all better. I'll try and support you as much as I can. I promise. I've still got plenty of money in my parents volts." She looks up scared.

"No noo that's your parent's money. I could never ask you for that."

"Hermione you are my life. I have enough of that money to live on until I'm 45 mind you! Don't worry, I have enough." She starts to look brighter as the words keep flowing out of my mouth.

"Thank you." She whispers.

"Hermione don't thank me. I'm the one to blame on all of this…it's my fault you're…" That sounded wrong. I stop right there.

"I knew you should have pulled out sooner…" Oh my god…I cannot believe she just said that out loud.

"Christ Hermione…I can't believe we're discussing that!" The ironic thing about that comment was that she was laughing about it!

"What "we"? It was me who said it. You should have pulled out earlier!"

"Do you really think that possible? For any guy? Please I'd like to know one guy that can pull out right when it's happening."

"Oh whatever. Guys always know when it's going to happen!" She's smiling now. Ok she's blaming me for not pulling out my beef from her taco fast enough. The poor kid's the size of a walnut and he's already being treated like he's nothing. No wait correct that, Shit is more like it!

"Hermione Granger." I raise my eyebrows at her. I start laughing now.

"Yes? I love you and I'm really glad you said what you said earlier. I'm happy now that we're having this illegitimate child." What great parents we'll be. Please somebody frame this picture on the wall and caption it a true family Kodak moment.

"Oh my god...I love you too, and …and I'm glad we're having this illegitimate child together also!" I stand up and pull her to her feet. "What the hell are we to say when our kid asks us how old we are? He's eventually going to figure it out." She looks serious again.

"He? Planning ahead aren't we?"

"I want a boy." I say shyly.

"Yes Harry, I do realize that but…well we'll tell him or her together ok? When the times appropriate."

"I should write a book on my life, between Voldermort and being a father at 17…my life's pretty wild."

"You're pretty wild." I blush.

"You were pretty wild in bed." I lace my hands with hers. "We're going to be some pretty wild parents you know?" She nods.

"I love you." I kiss her square on the mouth. For a few wonderful, magical seconds I was taken away to another world. Harry and Hermione world. Ah yes I cherish these moments, sneaking make out sessions in broom closets, sneaking to her room late at night, fantasizing about Harry and Hermione world, and releasing my built up sexual tension in the shower thinking of only her! Yes, for a few brief moments I was away from all of our problems, babies, people, school, teachers, homework, etc, etc. She pulls away. Awww.

"We really need to tell Ron." She looks sad again.

"I know. We'll tell him together all right. Not today."

"Tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow." Just then she jumps in the air and I catch her with her arms around my neck. Her legs around my waist. A perfect position for some serious shaggable time. She looks so happy.

"We're parents Harry. You're a father!"

"I'm happy too!" I really am. In a strange sort of way. I put her to the ground and we walk hand in hand to the bed. She sits down. I just stand and think.

"What's wrong Harry?" There's a silly smirk on her face. I can't believe she's taking this news so well all of a sudden. Shit If I was a girl, I'd be freaking out.

"How are you so calm about this? I mean…just a few minutes ago you were…well, really upset."

"I was upset, and I still am of course, but I don't know…what you said made it all right with the world I guess. Saying you'll support me and using your parent's money for us. That was really sweet of you Harry. I mean we can go and fix this right now and never have to deal with it ever again or we can work together and build on it. Do you want this child Harry? I mean do you really want it? Or do you want me to have an-."

"No. Don't ever say that word. I'm not like that. I'm not about to kill an innocent child because we abused our don'ts with the dos. I want it."

"I do too." She starts to cry this time. Not sad tears but happy tears. She stands up and I meet her. We hug for a few precious minutes, and reluctantly pull away.

"I'm so late for Potions now."

"I think Snape will manage without you being tortured."

"Me too."

"Well?"

"Well?"

"What now?"

"I guess…move on right?"

"Yeah. Harry?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you mind skipping the rest of classes today to stay with me? I'm still not feeling well." She digs her toe in the carpet nervously.

"Never." She looks up smiling.

"Really?"

"Really. I'd spend the rest of my life skipping the world just to be with you…" She starts to cry again. Raging hormones.

"Where do you come up with these things? They're so beautiful." Huh?

"I don't know, my head?" I swear to god I say the dumbest things off the top of my head. Christ, compare me to Ray Romano, and you'd find us alike…very alike. She giggles. I love that sound.

"You're so cute."

"I know."

"Come here." She pulls me to the bed and lies down on her back. I lay on my side next to her with my elbow propped up. I place my other hand on her stomach.

"I love you." My eyes are gazing at her stomach. I look up at her and she's smiling. "And you." I sit up and kiss her. Falling asleep shortly after with my head in the crook of her neck, my hand still on her stomach…

A-N- Probably wasn't as funny as the other one…oh well…review if you'd like! Remember the more reviews I get, the more likely I'll update faster. By the way I was listening to the Partridge family as I wrote this! God I fuckin love their songs…

Weasley1200