I wipe chill perspiration from my brow. I dreamt about her again last night, the ebony-haired vixen from Youko's past. Kikyou.
I suppose that my dreams are Youko's way of "subtly" telling me something, though I have no idea what, and when I last attempted to pry further into the matter, he built a wall between us so massive that I couldn't sense him for weeks. Not as though I complained.
When the dreams began, I had a sneaking suspicion that she was an old lover, or something of the sort, but now I feel that she was much more than that to him, and he was much less than that to her. Perhaps someone who turned him down? In that case, she probably injured his pride to the point where she became an obsession.
If there is one thing that I learned from him, it is the infamous kitsune curiosity. I can't help but wonder why she was significant and whether I will see her soon. She was a human priestess, yes, but that uniform...
The first night Youko showed her to me, I recognized her uniform: it was green and white with a red necktie, and just happens to be the uniform of a local school. Naturally, I went there to investigate, but no one seemed to know the name "Kikyou." It is odd, though, that she wore the uniform of a modern-day school, and my knowledge-hungry mind seeks an answer that makes sense.
I would speak to my friends, but I feel so insignificant right now. The only one they're really interested in is Youko, after all. Without him, I am nothing. I suppose that the term for my condition is "depression," but admitting it is certainly not the first step to a cure.
"Kurama," they always call me. After Youko. Never "Shuichi."
'Well, that is how you introduce yourself...'
Recently, I've been doing quite a bit of thinking. Would I be the same person without Youko? What would I be like, had he not come along? Would I be like... Kuwabara? I shudder at the thought. Or maybe Yusuke. That would still be unpleasant, but at least then I would have a brain in my head. Or maybe I would be like neither of them, and instead play the damsel in distress. There is no telling whether my more... feminine... qualities were gifts from Youko or whether they were mine to begin with.
'Or maybe you wouldn't exist?' Youko suggested. 'You are just a facet of myself, you know.'
'Not helping, Youko,' I retort.
I look up at the clock and choke. Where did the time go? It is time to get to school! I hastily get on my pants, throw on a white shirt so I'll be decent, snatch my jacket from my bed, grab my books and their bag, and sprint out the door, planting a quick farewell kiss on my mother's cheek. Down the steps, off the porch, through the front yard where Yusuke and Kuwabara should be waiting for me. Obviously, they already left due to my tardiness; I silently curse myself for letting my thoughts get the better of me.
Around the corner of the street, half-eaten breakfast roll in my mouth as I finish buttoning up a jacket that I wish was rose pink. Even as I run, I wonder about the Lady Kikyou, and more importantly, why Youko has chosen now to invade my thoughts with her.
Down a busy road, nearly hit by three cars, trying to swallow my breakfast as I bound in and out of alleys. I hope I can keep my meal down. Can't have the scent of regurgitated food staining my clothing!
'Now where did that come from?' I wonder.
Since when have I cared? It might scare off some of those loons, the ones who have doodles of me all over their binders. And yet... they never call me "Youko" or "Kurama". It is always Shuichi this and Shuichi that. They are a flock of mad seagulls all scrambling for the same crust of bread, only I'm no bread crust. I am much, much better than that.
'Getting full of ourselves, aren't we,' Youko comments.
'It's your influence,' I reply, plowing down an old woman in the meantime. "Sorry!" I call after me. I can just hear her saying, "Kids these days..."
I catch a glimpse of Boton waving at me as I sprint past, tear into the school, and land gracefully in my seat thirty minutes early.
'Whew,' I sigh inwardly. 'I was almost late there!'
'Late to be early. How ridiculous. You certainly didn't get that from me,' Youko complains. I choose to ignore him.
I glance about my miserable classroom and sigh dejectedly. This is the price one must pay to be a Spirit Detective. Surrendering a good education for saving the world from evil demons on a nearly daily basis is hardly an even tradeoff; everyone knows that good education is essential to a developing mind.
However, on the positive side, attending school with Yusuke and Kuwabara makes work considerably more efficient. Coming here was the right decision. A good choice. The noble path...
I am drawn out of my comfort-thoughts by Youko, who wants to draw. This is a new one. Deciding to humor him, I pick up a pencil and began drawing long, sweeping lines. I'll let him do as he will. Gradually the lines become more specific until they form a woman. Now for details.
Meticulously, I draw her two eyes in the proper spots. They are full of determination. I vaguely hear the teacher say something about a new girl named Higurashi, but pay no mind. I am too absorbed in my drawing. Full, rounded lips, slightly opened to reveal unusually white teeth are added. The teacher is telling her to say three things about herself, the usual torture for new students. A dainty nose joins her other facial features, and I move onto her hair.
"Um... erm..." She begins, clearly unsure of what to say. I feel sorry for her, but not enough to look up. Kikyou's hair is much too important. "My first name... is Kagome." The way she says that, the way that word rolls off her lips... she sounds so familiar. I almost look up but then return my focus to Kikyou. I have to draw each individual rose on her kimono. "I... erm... aspire to be a writer..." A writer? Going here? Ha. "...and... um... I'm good in history." Good in history. Who isn't? I could probably tell her a hundred things right here and now that the history books don't mention, and they would all be true.
The rest of class passes quickly, and when I step outside I see Yusuke speaking to what appears to be the new student. "You did a pretty good job up there," he informs her. Her back is to me, though I can see that her hair is long, with lots of curl at the ends. She has long, slender legs protruding from a too-short skirt.
She thanks him politely and then says, "I'm glad I never have to do that again!"
"Well, actually," Yusuke says, exchanging a look with Kuwabara. I know what that look means, and clearly she does, too, as the next word out of her mouth is, "Shit!"
Now is my chance to join the conversation. "Oh, yes. And in English class, you will be stuttering in a different language."
She turns around to face me, and my heart stops beating. I look from her down to my sketch from earlier, still in my hands, and back up again. "Kikyou?"
The effect this one little word has on both of us is astounding. Half a dozen different emotions flicker across her face, anger, jealousy, sadness, joy, and confusion, with a touch of hatred and a pinch of love. Finally, she settles on all-out confusion and scrutinizes me more closely.
I suppose that the name may mean something to her. She did react to it. Perhaps she is the reincarnation of the priestess, and the name stirs her ancient soul? But no, now she is examining me even more closely, taking in every inch of my body, and presently she offers a surprise of her own. "Youko? Is that you?"
My heart, which has just recovered from my last big surprise, sputters and dies, and I take a step back as though I've been struck. She recognizes me? Well, technically Youko? And the way she knows his name, it suggests that she actually is this Kikyou woman.
Immediately, my natural defenses kick in. I've seen prettier. No, she is quite ugly. Enough so that she could kill young children with a glance like the Medusa of Greek legend.
Youko is clamoring for control, and it is all I can do to keep him tame. However, despite my best efforts, he still manages to seize her and plant a soft kiss on her lips, a lover's kiss, to my eternal shame. She is startled for an instant, but then she smacks me. Hard.
"Pervert!"
I remember my friends now, and acknowledge their presence. "Could someone please tell me what is going on?" Yusuke wondered.
"Apparently, she and Youko are... old friends," I respond with a shrug.
"So you aren't the same person?" she mutters, and then blushes a shade of red so brilliant that I don't think I've ever seen it before. "I'm sorry for slapping you, then."
"Slapping him, actually. I don't mind. He deserved it."
"And now I am very confused," she says.
"It's complicated. We are the same person, but at the same time, we aren't," I explain.
She is even more gorgeous when confused.
'Whatever happened to the Medusa?' Youko wonders.
'Butt out,' I answer, using some of the vocabulary I learned from Yusuke.
I find myself lost in those deep blue pools of emotion she called "eyes," wondering how, exactly, I can tell her that I am essentially the result of Youko posessing a human being. A by-product.
'You make it sound as though you're some sort of waste product,' Youko says, fake concern in his voice. 'I like it!'
Deciding to quote Yusuke again, I tell him, 'Screw off.'
I am a reflection of Youko's soul given human form. I hardly rank above the dirt on the bottom of her shoes and...
'That's enough of that!' Youko warns me, effectively ending my train of thought.
'Thanks,' I tell him gratefully.
When I look up, she is gone, probably to her next class. Yusuke and Kuwabara still stand like two stone sentinels beside me.
"So... now that you've returned to the living..." Yusuke mumbles.
"Sorry," I say, twirling a strand of my hair on my fingers.
"Don't say that to us!" Yusuke says. "We know how you are. But..."
"She doesn't," Kuwabara finishes strong with the two most intelligent words that I have ever heard coming from that mouth.
"And you might want to call her 'Kagome,' as that's how she introduced herself," Yusuke suggests.
"Thanks," I call after me while running off in search of Kikyou.
The sun is setting in the sky, like some sort of fiery bird descending to sleep, and I sit alone in my room, my homework finished, wondering where my Kikyou has gone.
'Ahem. I believe she knows us as "Youko" and is therefore mine,' Youko comments.
'Ours?' I suggest.
'Fine,'
he responds. 'I've shared with worse than you in the past.' I don't want to think too much about that.
We are the same person... I retort.
Wisely, he remains silent.
Suuichi, 1. Youko, 0.
He adds a one and several zeros in front of his score, but I don't care. I have just seen an enticing siren walk by outside.
I am out the door in thirty seconds or less, still struggling into my favorite pink jacket. "Kik--er, Kagome!" I shout. I am completely out of my usual character. I find that I don't care.
She turns around and sees me, and her face flushes with anger. She pauses for a moment before resuming her "stroll," which becomes a light jog, then a run, then an all out sprint. Finally she collapses, panting, on a park bench.
Youko, being Youko, examines the spot where she now sits and proclaims, 'It's nearly perfect! A real bed would be better, but...'
Horrified, I block out his thought and take a seat beside Kikyou.
"What do you want?" she asks coldly. Certainly a change from this morning. This girl has severe mood-swings. Perhaps she should get checked for bipolar disorder?
"I'm sorry for ignoring you, Kikyou," I begin, prepared for a long, involved apology, but she interrupts me.
"I am not Kikyou! How many times do I have to say that? I'm Ka.go.me. Three simple syllables, why can't anyone get it right?" she cries. She has just gone from furious to nearly crying in less than... I check my watch. It took her just under five seconds.
"I'm sorry. You just look so much like her..." I whisper.
"Well, I'm not her!" she says in a fury ('Wow. This one was ten seconds.'), grabbing onto my jacket as she buries her face in my chest.
"Are the two of you related?" I question. "How do you know of her? ...And, more importantly, how do you know of Youko?"
"Kikyou and I aren't... well, we could be related..." She retorts. "I'm her reincarnation, and how I know of her and Youko is none of your business."
"Sort of like Youko and I," I say, though I don't think she wants a response to her unspoken question.
"What do you mean? At least people don't come after you for age-old grudges because they think you're some undead bitch of a clay pot, or try to steal your soul to resurrect said pot, or even..." she pauses now, and her voice becomes hushed. "...fall in love, all because you look like her."
"Hmph. And you think I haven't felt that before?" I can't believe this; someone with my same issues, my same problems, or at least very similar ones. This girl is incredible!
"Well... you haven't been through what I have!" she exclaims, and she stands.
"Try me," I say softly, but she doesn't hear me. She is already gone. She has just walked out on me for the second time today.
I lay in bed, pondering again. Kagome and I are the same. 'We are but reflections of long-dead legends, their memories given new flesh, yet we still live, we still breathe, but not even those closest to us seem to understand...'
'What? Are you saying that when they look at you they see me?' Youko wonders.
'Yes,' I respond smoothly.
'Good. I always was the better-looking one, after all.'
'Your point being?' I will neither confirm nor deny his claim; that would be sinking down to his level.
'I still have her jewel...' I catch the hint and climb out of bed, setting up my identical twin, "Pillow Shuichi," to take my place should my mother come to check in on me. She will never notice the difference if I pull the covers up over his lumpy head.
I leap out the window with all the grace of a night predator, down to the sidewalk, and set off at a bounding run, going as fast as my human legs will take me. I am a stalking shadow in the night, hunting for the jewel that will surely bring me to my destined lover.
We enter an old cave. Once-verdant walls were now dead from neglect, and it smelled like feces. Something furry had made this its home.
'Ah, the old lair,' Youko sighs, his voice tinged with nostalgia. I groan.
'By the way,' he warns me. 'You may want to duck.'
A tremendous burst of energy passes centimeters from where my head was moments ago. 'It was off,' he whines. 'I should really fix that...'
'Any other traps I should know about?' I say.
'Aside from the one you just stepped into?' he answers.
'The one I just... what?!' I look at my feet and see that a purple jelly is bubbling around my feet.
'It will freeze us solid. But don't worry; we'll thaw in a couple thousand years,' he comments with a laugh.
'You find this funny?' I snarl.
'No, but it should recognize me, and let me go,' he explains.
'Thieves,' I sigh.
'Humans,' he sighs.
True to his prediction, the jelly bubbles away nearly as soon as it touches me, and I am free to go.
'Now, you put me in charge,' he tells me.
'Why?' I wonder.
'Because I set up some impartial nasties about the jewel,' he says with a shrug. When I glare at him, he exclaims, 'What?!'
'I hate you. You know that?'
'We all know that you're lying,' he says. Arrogant bastard. 'And besides, this is the Shikon Jewel we're discussing. I know you've heard of it. Do you really want it in some strange demon's claws?'
Wisely, I remain silent.
'Youko, 1. Shuichi, 1.'
I cross my fingers and retreat to the back of my mind, allowing him control. I laugh as I think how my friends might react to this little development.
'You know that I've just realized how annoying I am?' he complains. I just grin and let him do his thing.
I am aware of him entering his room. It smells like the moldy furs that cover the floor. Youko wrinkles my nose. How unpleasant. He remembers this room fondly. It is a place of many conquests. I wonder if Kikyou ever slept here.
He searches under layers of fur and whips out a chest, which he removes from its furry nest as though it is a bomb.
Before opening it, he mutters a dozen different incantations, and a dozen more after lifting the lid. Finally, he reaches inside and takes the pink jewel and hangs it around my neck.
He replaces the chest, and then we are off into the night. I will trust him to get us home safely; I am quite tired.
'If we're on some park bench or something when I wake up...'
'Of course not!' He almost sounds offended.
I let myself drift off, lending him complete control of my body.
When I open my eyes, I half-expect to find myself locked up in some prison in Makai, but instead here I am, in my own bed. Relieved, I checked to find the jewel still dangling about my neck. Youko is asleep. 'Yes! No commentary!'
'What do you mean by that?' he asks drowsily.
'We go to claim Kagome today!' I shout.
'Yes, yes, yes!' he shouts back. Wait... him shouting? This girl is closer to his heart than he's willing to admit, and now...
'Looks as though you've pulled my into your obsession...'
I am up and dressed in five minutes, packed for school in half that time, and ready to burst out the door after a grand total of ten minutes.
Now my only problem is entertaining myself for the several hours before school starts. I have never been this eager to go to that intellectual wasteland, but with Kagome waiting for me, I am practically shivering with anticipation. Damn obsessions.
Suddenly I wonder if I could visit her. Yes, and maybe watch her sleeping. That would be nice.
'Stalker.' Youko's tone is accusing.
'Look who's talking,' I chide in good humor.
'When do we leave?'
'Try... now.'
I run out the door only to return five minutes later after realizing that I don't know where she lives. I grab a phone book from the cabinet and locate "Higurashi." There are three in walking distance, and Kagome would probably be listed under her parent's names. I pick the closest one, as she was walking by my house, and set off immediately. I think it's near that old shrine.
To my surprise, she lives at that old shrine. To think, all these years I've been living within a ten minute walk of destiny!
...but what if she is with one of the other two Higurashis?
It might be best if I don't get my hopes up. But still... a reincarnated priestess living at a shrine like this one. The poetry isn't lost on me.
It is a beautiful place, too, but now that I've tasted doubt, I just can't believe that she lives here. I would have seen her before, wouldn't I?
However, I decide to take my chances, and slip up the steps silently, just in time to see her coming out of an old well house. She looks rather dejected, and bruises cover her arms and legs. Is she abused?
Youko's first thought: 'Let me at whoever did this to her!'
'What I want to know first is why she is up at this hour of the morning,' I retort.
I watch, intrigued, as she climbs up the side of the house and finally sits down on the roof, tears streaming down her cheeks like Niagara Falls.
'Make with the comforting already!' Youko yells at me, immediately setting me into motion.
I am on the roof with her in an instant, and I sit down beside her. "Kagome?"
She can't see me properly through her tear stained eyes, and she proves it when she mistakes me for another. "Inuyasha? You came here for me? But how..."
I am about to protest (honest!) when she cuddles closer. She is laying against my chest, and Youko is purring inside.
"What's wrong?" I ask her.
"Nothing, now that you're here, Inuyasha," she answers, her eyes brimming with tears. She is getting my jacket soaked, and this is good fabric, too!
My conscience is telling me that she thinks I'm this "Inuyasha" and that I am taking advantage, but I am kitsune. We live for moments like this. I wrap my arms around her gently and bury my face in her hair. She doesn't seem to mind. Youko silently thanks Inuyasha, whoever he is.
"Thank you," she whispered to me. "Even if you don't care, you don't realize how much this means to me."
'Wait. So maybe she was in love with this Inuyasha fellow, and he didn't return her affections?'
'Brilliant deduction, genius,' Youko drawls.
Suddenly, I remember what she said earlier:
"What do you mean? At least people don't come after you for age-old grudges because they think you're some undead bitch of a clay pot, or try to steal your soul to resurrect said pot, or even... fall in love, all because you look like her."
"Kagome, I do..."
Now she cries harder. "I know that you're lying. You chose Kikyou, remember? You chose a clay pot instead of me!"
'So I was right.' I am smug.
'Yeah, yeah. Now reel her in,' Youko suggests.
"You are the only one for me, Kagome," I reply, fully expecting a violent response, but she gives none. She just leans forward, her eyes closed, and kisses me, sending torrents of fierce emotions rushing through my body. They are focused in once place in particular...
I wrap my arms around her and return the favor, drawing her closer.
Youko-- not me, honest!-- is so busy exploring her mouth that we don't even notice her hands slowly traveling up my scalp, rubbing the place where Youko's ears usually stand, and then moving down, down, down, right to where my ears are. She feels them deftly. Now she opens her eyes, violently pulling away again. This woman is repetitive
"Youko!" she squawks.
"Kurama," I correct her.
"You... I... why I otta..."
"You know, you really shouldn't do that. It makes you look like poultry," I comment nonchalantly a la Youko.
'Yum. Tasty,' Youko murmurs.
'Pervert,'
Wisely, he remains silent.
'Shuchi, 2. Youko, 1.'
Her mouth is moving now, but no sound emerges. I decide to break the silence. "Here. I brought the Jewel."
I unfasten it from my neck and dangle it in front of her. She snatches it immediately and hops off the roof, walking away from me for the third time since I first met her.
'Does that mean a third kiss, too?' Youko is hopeful.
"I meant what I said, Kagome!" I call after her retreating form. She stops, but before she can say anything more, I leave. It is nearly time for me to get to school, and she needs time to sort out her thoughts.
The next day, she confronts me after class. Well, actually, she runs into me headfirst while attempting to avoid my eyes by looking at the ground, but Youko cannot not be outmaneuvered so easily. Heh, heh.
"I want you to keep this," she says to me soberly. Something pink, hanging from a long chain, is held before me.
I reclaim it promptly. As it dangles between my fingers, I ask, "Why?"
"Consider it a... promise. To you, Kurama, not that... kinky kitsune," she says. This is well rehearsed.
'Kinky kitsune?' Youko screeches indignantly.
"A promise of what?"
"Friendship," she says mildly.
"What about love?" I murmur. She isn't meant to hear, but she does anyway. She smiles briefly.
"That too, just... not now. Someday, though. I promise, someday," she says. There is an undertone of sorrow to her voice. "I'm just not ready yet..."
"I understand," I say. "I'll be waiting."
"So will I."
She plants a chaste kiss on my cheek, and she is gone, but it doesn't matter. Two reflections, lost, have found each other. We will overcome the spectress that imprison us together and emerge as individuals, maybe even find happiness. We will weather this storm together, two leaves sailing on the winds of time.
End
Revised 1/10/06