Hi everybody! This is my second fanfic, and I can promise you it'll be
better than my first one! So read it and tell me what you think!
Chapter One: Let There Be Light!
"Um. How's this sound-"
"It's terrible. Now go away."
"Kel, you didn't even listen to it!"
"Neal, it's going to be like all your poems: terrible. Now shut up and let me do this."
"Yeah, Neal. Let her do this. What is it you're doing?"
"Faleron, shut up!"
"Yes, sir."
"Faleron doesn't have to listen to you."
"Yeah. I don't have to listen to you."
"Owen?"
"Yeah?"
"Shut up."
"Jolly."
"Will you shut up about this jolly shit?!"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because."
"Guys, shut up! I'm trying to look at these accounts."
"Kel, you work too hard."
"I do not."
"You do too."
"I do not! Hey! Who blew out the candle?"
"Sorry, Kel."
"Owen."
"Do too."
"Do-Neal?"
"Yeah?"
"Did you just eat the document the accounts were written on?"
"Um. Yeah. I think so."
"Fuck you."
"Can't. That's Yuki's job."
"You're disgusting."
"No I'm not. I'm just turned on."
"That was too much for me."
"Sorry, Seaver."
"You should be."
"Did Neal just say he was turned on?"
"Yes, Dom. He did."
"Lovely. I've always wanted to know when my Meatheaded cousin was turned on."
"Neal just ate the accounts."
"Ew. What are you, a goat?"
"Obviously."
"Cleon, shut up."
"Don't tell me what to do, Meathead."
"Cleon, shut up."
"Okay, Kel."
"Now wait a minute-"
"Kel is intimidating. I take orders from her. She's very scary now."
"Why?"
"Because you just ate the damn accounts!"
"Do you want me to spit them back up for you?"
"Ew."
"Gods, no. Kel, don't make him do it."
"Yes. Spit them up."
There was a moment's silence.
"I can't believe he just spit them up."
"Ew."
"Who keeps saying 'Ew'?"
"Dom, I think."
"Yeah. Who turned out the lights?"
"Owen."
"I said I was sorry. Sheesh, Kel, let it go."
"Owen, I have Neal saliva all over me. This is not a good day for me."
"Night."
"What?"
"Good night."
"You're going to sleep so soon?"
"Kel, it's midnight."
"It is? Then what are you all doing here?"
"Checking on you."
"Get out."
"You'll have to find us first."
"Well first I need to know who all is in here."
"Seaver, Faleron, Cleon, Owen, Dom, you, and me. Did I miss anyone?"
"Yeah. Me."
"Who's 'me'?"
"Hi, Alanna.
"Hi, Kel."
"And me."
"What's up, Wyldon?"
"Very funny, Lioness."
"Wyldon is in my room? How-nice."
"Just say it, Kel. It's horrible having an old man in your rooms, without light. It's very horrible when that man turns out to be your old training master and the very person you hate."
"Queenscove, shut up."
"Okay."
"Chicken."
"We need more light."
"You don't say?"
"Whoa, where'd the light go?"
"Roald? Is that you?"
"Yeah."
"Where'd you come from?"
"I was in the privy."
"Ew."
"I had to go to the bathroom! My gods, Dom, it's not like you haven't done it before."
"Yeah."
"Do you have to tell us about it, though?"
"Well, Seaver asked me where I came from!"
"Seaver!"
"Sorry."
"GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"
"Kel! You yelled right in my ear!"
"Well, excuse me, but I wouldn't have if you weren't in my ROOM!"
"Kel?"
"What."
"Let it go."
"Okay. Seaver, Cleon, Faleron, Neal, Roald, Dom, Owen, Alanna, and Wyldon are in my room. Anyone else?"
"Why is it so dark in here?"
"Raoul? Is that you?"
"Hi."
"Alanna? Are you in here?"
"She's here."
"Wyldon? Why are you in my former squire's room?"
"To be honest with you, I don't know. I just heard a bunch of ruckus and I had to see what it was about."
"Nosy."
"May I remind you, Jesslaw, you are still my squire."
"Oops."
"Seriously. We need some light."
"Ow! That was my foot! Why is it so dark?"
"Merric?"
"Seaver, why are you in my rooms?"
"I'm not. I'm in Kel's."
"Oops. Wrong room, then."
"Merric is in here now. Great."
"Where am I?"
"Esmond?"
"Yeah?"
"Oh, glory."
"Why does everyone seem to like my rooms so much?"
"We just love you so much."
"Speak for yourself."
"Shut up, Wyldon."
"Hollyrose, did you just tell me to shut up?"
"Uh, no, that was Neal."
"No it wasn't!"
"Was too!"
"Was-"
"Leave my rooms immediately."
"Kel, why are you so touchy?"
"Hmm. Let's think. I'm in the dark with a bunch of men, at least three of them virgins, the other married men who haven't fucked in over two weeks."
"Excuse me?"
"Oh, yeah. And I'm stuck with Alanna."
"Thanks, Kel."
"No problem."
"I'm not a virgin, but I'm not married either."
"Thanks, Dom."
"Same for me!"
"And you too, Faleron."
"Ahem."
"And you, Raoul."
"Okay. You seriously have to leave."
"Can I stay?"
"I can't find the door!"
"That's not the door, Alanna."
"Then what is it? You know what? I don't want to know."
"You turn me on."
"Ew."
"Alanna, that isn't the door either. That's my-"
"Shut up, Raoul."
"I'll find the doorknob."
"Whoa! Kel, that certainly ain't the doorknob."
"I like it all the same."
"Kel? Were you just flirting with me?"
"Why, I believe I was. Now get out."
"Hey! I found it!"
"OW!"
"Uh, sorry, Hollyrose. I didn't mean to pull that."
"Why don't you guys just sleep here?"
"Good idea. I got the bed."
"Like hell you do. It's my bed."
"Fine."
"I'm unmarried; I'll sleep with Kel."
"Nice try, Dom."
"Damn."
There was a sound of muffled yelps, footsteps, a clatter for people to find a comfortable sleeping space, and then all was silent but for the breathing of the people inhabiting the room.
"Night."
"Night."
"Good night."
"Night all."
"Sleep tight."
"Sweet dreams."
"Nighty-night."
"Good night."
"Night."
"Don't let the bed bugs bite."
"Shut up and go to bed."
"Boy, someone's bitchy tonight."
"That sounded an awful lot like Quinden."
"It was."
"Ew."
"Whatever. But I needed a place to sleep and everyone else was in here so, well, here I am."
"Let's just sleep."
"Good idea. Night."
"Aw, now let's not start that again!"
Chapter One: Let There Be Light!
"Um. How's this sound-"
"It's terrible. Now go away."
"Kel, you didn't even listen to it!"
"Neal, it's going to be like all your poems: terrible. Now shut up and let me do this."
"Yeah, Neal. Let her do this. What is it you're doing?"
"Faleron, shut up!"
"Yes, sir."
"Faleron doesn't have to listen to you."
"Yeah. I don't have to listen to you."
"Owen?"
"Yeah?"
"Shut up."
"Jolly."
"Will you shut up about this jolly shit?!"
"No."
"Why?"
"Because."
"Guys, shut up! I'm trying to look at these accounts."
"Kel, you work too hard."
"I do not."
"You do too."
"I do not! Hey! Who blew out the candle?"
"Sorry, Kel."
"Owen."
"Do too."
"Do-Neal?"
"Yeah?"
"Did you just eat the document the accounts were written on?"
"Um. Yeah. I think so."
"Fuck you."
"Can't. That's Yuki's job."
"You're disgusting."
"No I'm not. I'm just turned on."
"That was too much for me."
"Sorry, Seaver."
"You should be."
"Did Neal just say he was turned on?"
"Yes, Dom. He did."
"Lovely. I've always wanted to know when my Meatheaded cousin was turned on."
"Neal just ate the accounts."
"Ew. What are you, a goat?"
"Obviously."
"Cleon, shut up."
"Don't tell me what to do, Meathead."
"Cleon, shut up."
"Okay, Kel."
"Now wait a minute-"
"Kel is intimidating. I take orders from her. She's very scary now."
"Why?"
"Because you just ate the damn accounts!"
"Do you want me to spit them back up for you?"
"Ew."
"Gods, no. Kel, don't make him do it."
"Yes. Spit them up."
There was a moment's silence.
"I can't believe he just spit them up."
"Ew."
"Who keeps saying 'Ew'?"
"Dom, I think."
"Yeah. Who turned out the lights?"
"Owen."
"I said I was sorry. Sheesh, Kel, let it go."
"Owen, I have Neal saliva all over me. This is not a good day for me."
"Night."
"What?"
"Good night."
"You're going to sleep so soon?"
"Kel, it's midnight."
"It is? Then what are you all doing here?"
"Checking on you."
"Get out."
"You'll have to find us first."
"Well first I need to know who all is in here."
"Seaver, Faleron, Cleon, Owen, Dom, you, and me. Did I miss anyone?"
"Yeah. Me."
"Who's 'me'?"
"Hi, Alanna.
"Hi, Kel."
"And me."
"What's up, Wyldon?"
"Very funny, Lioness."
"Wyldon is in my room? How-nice."
"Just say it, Kel. It's horrible having an old man in your rooms, without light. It's very horrible when that man turns out to be your old training master and the very person you hate."
"Queenscove, shut up."
"Okay."
"Chicken."
"We need more light."
"You don't say?"
"Whoa, where'd the light go?"
"Roald? Is that you?"
"Yeah."
"Where'd you come from?"
"I was in the privy."
"Ew."
"I had to go to the bathroom! My gods, Dom, it's not like you haven't done it before."
"Yeah."
"Do you have to tell us about it, though?"
"Well, Seaver asked me where I came from!"
"Seaver!"
"Sorry."
"GET OUT OF MY ROOM!"
"Kel! You yelled right in my ear!"
"Well, excuse me, but I wouldn't have if you weren't in my ROOM!"
"Kel?"
"What."
"Let it go."
"Okay. Seaver, Cleon, Faleron, Neal, Roald, Dom, Owen, Alanna, and Wyldon are in my room. Anyone else?"
"Why is it so dark in here?"
"Raoul? Is that you?"
"Hi."
"Alanna? Are you in here?"
"She's here."
"Wyldon? Why are you in my former squire's room?"
"To be honest with you, I don't know. I just heard a bunch of ruckus and I had to see what it was about."
"Nosy."
"May I remind you, Jesslaw, you are still my squire."
"Oops."
"Seriously. We need some light."
"Ow! That was my foot! Why is it so dark?"
"Merric?"
"Seaver, why are you in my rooms?"
"I'm not. I'm in Kel's."
"Oops. Wrong room, then."
"Merric is in here now. Great."
"Where am I?"
"Esmond?"
"Yeah?"
"Oh, glory."
"Why does everyone seem to like my rooms so much?"
"We just love you so much."
"Speak for yourself."
"Shut up, Wyldon."
"Hollyrose, did you just tell me to shut up?"
"Uh, no, that was Neal."
"No it wasn't!"
"Was too!"
"Was-"
"Leave my rooms immediately."
"Kel, why are you so touchy?"
"Hmm. Let's think. I'm in the dark with a bunch of men, at least three of them virgins, the other married men who haven't fucked in over two weeks."
"Excuse me?"
"Oh, yeah. And I'm stuck with Alanna."
"Thanks, Kel."
"No problem."
"I'm not a virgin, but I'm not married either."
"Thanks, Dom."
"Same for me!"
"And you too, Faleron."
"Ahem."
"And you, Raoul."
"Okay. You seriously have to leave."
"Can I stay?"
"I can't find the door!"
"That's not the door, Alanna."
"Then what is it? You know what? I don't want to know."
"You turn me on."
"Ew."
"Alanna, that isn't the door either. That's my-"
"Shut up, Raoul."
"I'll find the doorknob."
"Whoa! Kel, that certainly ain't the doorknob."
"I like it all the same."
"Kel? Were you just flirting with me?"
"Why, I believe I was. Now get out."
"Hey! I found it!"
"OW!"
"Uh, sorry, Hollyrose. I didn't mean to pull that."
"Why don't you guys just sleep here?"
"Good idea. I got the bed."
"Like hell you do. It's my bed."
"Fine."
"I'm unmarried; I'll sleep with Kel."
"Nice try, Dom."
"Damn."
There was a sound of muffled yelps, footsteps, a clatter for people to find a comfortable sleeping space, and then all was silent but for the breathing of the people inhabiting the room.
"Night."
"Night."
"Good night."
"Night all."
"Sleep tight."
"Sweet dreams."
"Nighty-night."
"Good night."
"Night."
"Don't let the bed bugs bite."
"Shut up and go to bed."
"Boy, someone's bitchy tonight."
"That sounded an awful lot like Quinden."
"It was."
"Ew."
"Whatever. But I needed a place to sleep and everyone else was in here so, well, here I am."
"Let's just sleep."
"Good idea. Night."
"Aw, now let's not start that again!"