It's me again, the crazed High-Priestess of Zolac, with another installment of yer favorite story about seishi on vacation. Unless, of course, you prefer one of the other fics about seishi on vacation. In which case I am sad.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters from Fushigi Yûgi. Obviously, they belong to Fushigi Yûgi, and not this story. The other characters are mine. Not like anyone wants them.
Warnings: Screaming, madness, etc. You know the drill.
CHAPTER 9: IN WHICH PEOPLE GET PISSED OFF
The bags had finally come, and our heroes stood boredly outside of Avis car rentals while Chichiri did the paperwork.
"You all got that, right?! From here on, all will call me Angel of Death, not-" and here she shot a defiant glare at Zolac no Miko, "- Corpse!"
The blonde shrugged. "Whatever."
A weary Nuriko played with his hair, wondering idly if the crazy brown eyed girl was going to start foaming at the mouth.
Chiriko frowned. "Zolac no Miko-san, Angel of Death-san...." he stopped, frowning again.
Tamahome snorted. "That was awkward."
"Exactly my point." Chiriko turned to the girls. "Your names are very long, and difficult to say. I believe it is imperative that we agree on shortenings to those names. Especially your title, Zolac no Miko-san. I suppose 'Angel of Death' may be shortened to 'Angel,' but-"
"NO!" shrieked the brunette. "NOT ANGEL! THOU SHALT NEVER CALLETH ME ANGEL!! THOU SHALT ALWAYSETH CALLETH ME DEATHETH!!!!"
"Deatheth?" asked Hotohori, confused.
"She means Death," corrected Zolac no Miko. "Call her Death."
Death muttered to herself.
Tamahome raised an eyebrow. "Riiight. So then, what do we call you? Zolac?"
"NO! BLASPHEMOUS HEATHEN!! THOU MAYEST NOT CALLETH ME BY THE NAME OF MY GOD! THAT IS UNHOLY SACRILEGE!!!!"
"Well we can't call you 'Miko'," put in Nuriko. "We'd get you confused with Miaka."
"And we can't call you 'no'," added Tasuki, "'cuz, ya know, that just wouldn't make sense."
Zolac no Miko sighed extravagantly. "I suppose you'll have to call me Zo," she said.
"Okay then, Death and Zo. These are acceptable," said Chiriko.
After what seemed like eternities of waiting, our heroes were finally piling into a red minivan.
"I call shotgun no da!" cried Chichiri gleefully.
Tamahome paused, surprised, as he was climbing into the back seat. "Wait... but then who's driving?" he asked.
"I am!" exclaimed Zo as she climbed into the driver's seat.
"WHAT!? Hey!" Tamahome's face reddened. "She's younger than I am!" he complained to Chichiri.
"Yes, I know," replied the monk serenely, "but see, the difference is I trust her no da."
"But- Wha- Gaaaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!" he growled in frustration.
"Oh, stop being such a baby, Tama-chan; just get in the van!" exclaimed Nuriko, picking up the spluttering Tamahome and throwing him into the back seat. He and Miaka climbed in after him.
Tasuki sat next to Mitsukake and Chiriko in the middle seat. "Chichiri, make sure ya put on some good music, like heavy metal, or some- eeeep!" Death sat on his lap and buckled the seatbelt, grinning happily. Zo, adjusting the rear view mirror, saw this and rolled her eyes.
"Zo-chan," asked Miaka, "how far is it to Kokee? "
"Oh, only a few hours."
'I'm gonna diiiiieee!!!' thought Tasuki.
"Hold on everyone!" shouted Zolac no Miko. The van pulled out of the parking lot with tires screeching.
"Here comes another big turn! Wheeeeeeeeeee!!!!" Zo yanked the steering wheel to the left, and the van swerved around the curve in the narrow road, mere feet from the edge of a very tall cliff.
"Hey, Zo, cut it out!" scowled Death. "Do you want us to plummet to the bottom of Waimea Canyon?"
"Urp!" commented Tasuki, trying desperately not to throw up. 'It doesn't help when this... this... girl is sitting on my #$%ing stomach!' he thought. The van hit a bump in the road. "Mmph!" 'Deep breaths deep breaths!'
"Stop... please stop..." whimpered Chiriko pitifully. Mitsukake groaned in agreement, his face green.
"And now, to the right!" screeched Zo, yanking on the wheel. The van veered to the right, nearly tipping over.
"Yay, woohooo!!!!" screamed Miaka. "Isn't this fun, Tamahome?"
Tamahome was staring out the window at a landscape that looked like Mars with trees, sulking. "Yeah, whatever," he grumbled. 'IT'S NOT FAIR!!!! WHY DOES SHE GET TO DRIVE?' his inner voice whined. 'WHY DOES EVERYONE HATE MEEEEE?!'
"Ohhhhhh..... We don't feel so well....." moaned Hotohori.
"Oh, poor Hotohori-sama! It's okay, I'll take care of you!" Nuriko frowned, concerned, and stroked Hotohori's brow.
"Hold on, another curve!"
"HEY!!!!" shouted Nuriko. "WHAT ARE YA TRYING TO DO, KILL HIM?!"
"GAAAAAAAAAHHH!!! THE VAN'S GONNA TIP OVER AND WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!" shrieked the Angel of Death.
Chichiri had his head out the window. "WHEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! THIS IS SO MUCH FUN NO DAAAAAAAA!!!!"
Notes: Well, another short chapter. Sorry, that's just how they're turning out. After this one, I've got one more chapter written ahead of time, then I've got to write some more. I may be a bit longer between updates, Zolac forbid. Again, sorry.
Erm, lessee, stuff to explain.... Okay, the Corpse/Angel of Death thing. Well, I didn't know what name to give to my friend, so I did what any good friend would do... I knowingly and intentionally gave her a name that I know she hates. She found out and complained and insisted I change it to Angel of Death, but I couldn't resist torturing her, so I left the Corpse thing in and just changed it in this chapter. See how I love my friends? The thing about "alwayseth calleth me Deatheth"... she actually talks like that. See, my friends are almost as weird as me. The thing about me driving... I'm actually older than Tamahome now, but I was younger than him when I wrote this. I decided to leave it be, because it would piss him off more. Besides, the Zolac no Miko in this story isn't really me, but an exaggerated caricature of me; not me, but a character I created. So yeah, let's just say, in this story, ZnM and AoD are 16 or something.
What else? I believe Zo explained the Kokee thing already ;; . Waimea Canyon is, I believe, the largest canyon in Polynesia, also known as "The Grand Canyon of the Pacific." Having seen the Grand Canyon, I now know Waimea to be a pretty wussy canyon, but still pretty darn impressive for a Pacific volcanic island. It's one of my favorite places to go hiking. The road to Kokee does go right by it, and the curves are really scary.
That's about all the useless info I've got for now. See ya next chapter!