Part V
I woke to the crying of my daughter before the sun came up. Gabrielle and Hercules woke up as well, but I pulled myself out of bed and took the child into my arms. Gabrielle lit a couple of candles and Hercules stood to help me.
"I'm okay," I said, raising a hand. "I've got her." Gabrielle began to walk around, picking up things that she was afraid I might stumble over. I walked around with the baby in my arms and I soon had her in a peaceful sleep. Hercules and Gabrielle were watching me carefully and I couldn't help but smile at them. I put the baby back down in her cradle and I sat down on the bed. "You don't have to watch me like a hawk. I'm okay."
"You're healing," Gabrielle pointed out.
"Don't you dare treat me like a child," I scolded. I hadn't meant to sound so grouchy, but Gabrielle understood. She was a very understanding woman. I sighed and I shook my head. "I need some fresh air." I stood to go to the door and Hercules stood again. He was so protective of me. It was sweet, but I needed my space. "Please . . . I'll be right back." I walked out onto the porch and I sat down in the swing. I heard Gabrielle and Hercules walking around inside of the house. But it was nice to be alone. For the first time I was absolutely alone. I was still and there wasn't a child kicking around inside of me. There wasn't anymore pain.
The air was cool and the moon was high in the sky. It was nothing but a cresent shape of light had less purpose than the sun. I realized that I felt an emotion that I hadn't felt in a long time. I was happy. I was happy because I had a daughter. She wasn't a burden. I didn't want to give her away. That was quickly becoming something of the past. I knew I couldn't care for her on the road, but I didn't want to give her up.
I closed my eyes and I felt so peaceful. I could hear Gabrielle and Hercules talking. I could hear every word they spoke.
"I'm worried about her," Hercules said in a whisper, not wanting me to hear their conversation.
"She seems strong enough to take care of herself and the baby."
"I love her, Gabrielle. I love Xena and I don't want her to leave with my child. I don't want her to give my child to a stranger. I want to be there. I want to be a father to my daughter."
"You should talk to Xena," Gabrielle replied, her voice growing harder. "But if I were you I'd let her figure it out for herself. She doesn't seem like the type to settle down and be a peaceful peasant woman. You can't make her into something she isn't destined to be." I shook my head. They were arguing over me!
"Destiny . . . how would you know about that?" Hercules asked. I could hear Gabrielle shift her weight.
"What is that supposed to mean? Do you think that just because I'm an innocent peasant girl . . . that . . . that I don't know about fate and destiny? Let me tell you something, I'm not stupid! I have read nearly every scroll by every prophet and every bard that has ever lived. I know all about the ways of the world and I've never set foot out of this town!" I heard her footsteps become heavier. She was angry.
"Listen to that," came Ares' voice. I turned my head to see him standing out in the yard with his sword in his hand. I cocked my head to the side and I slowly stood up. "They're both fighting . . . over you."
"What do you want now?" I asked him, exasperation in my voice. I walked closer to him and he reached out. He took my hands in his. A warmth spread throughout my whole body and a glow surrounded us. "What are you doing?"
"I'm letting you feel just how I feel about you. That feeling you have in your heart . . . that's the feeling that flows through my body every second of every day when I think about you." I was amazed. I felt the warmth and the love. Love. He did love me. I pulled away from him and the warmth disappeared.
"Stop it!"
"Admit it, Xena!" Ares demanded in a whisper.
"Admit what?"
"Admit that . . . that this isn't what you want."
"No," I said quietly. "I won't."
"Why not?" Ares asked. He looked into my eyes and I held my breath for a moment. "You really want to be like Gabrielle? Do you really want to get up at dawn to feed the chickens and spend the rest of your day doing nothing but taking care of the baby?" I could see that Ares wanted to say something. I could see that he was pushing himself closer and closer to saying what he wanted to. I folded my arms over my chest and I watched him carefully. Finally, he spoke again. "You want me to say it? Okay. I'll say it. I care about you, Xena. Not just because of your skills with a sword. I care about you because you're beautiful and you are everything I've ever wanted in a companion." I was startled. He had said the words and I was speechless. I turned away. I walked back towards the house and Ares stepped out in front of me. "Don't do this."
"Don't do what?" I asked. "Don't go back inside to my daughter? I have a family in there, Ares, if you haven't noticed."
"I have noticed," Ares replied. "I only wish that baby were mine." My eyes went wide and I shook my head. I bit my bottom lip for a moment.
"You're only saying that because she is Hercules' daughter. If this child were anybody else's, you wouldn't have come around," I replied, trying to figure everything out for myself.
"No," Ares interjected. "I'm saying that because its true."
"Just leave it alone, Ares," I replied, begging him to stop. I didn't want to be anymore confused than I already was. At that moment, Hercules walked out of the house and he spotted me with Ares. Anger was present in the features of his face. Ares folded his arms over his chest and I turned to him. I whispered, "Just go away."
"Get away from her!" Hercules shouted with jealousy in his voice. I had never heard him so angry except for the time when I had turned Iolaus against him. My heart began to race and Gabrielle stepped out onto the porch.
"What's going on?"
"Get back inside, Gabrielle. Xena, you go too."
"No!" I answered quickly. "This is about me and I just want the both of you to let it go." I looked at Ares boldly and he disappeared. I began to walk inside and Hercules lightly took my hands in his.
"What are you doing with him?" he asked quietly. I looked at him and I sighed.
"I don't want to talk about it, Hercules. I just want to go back inside and get some sleep. I'm not thinking clearly right now." I walked past him and went back into the house. Gabrielle looked at me as she followed me in.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," I answered.
"They're fighting over you."
"If I didn't know better . . . I'd say you were too." Gabrielle blushed and looked away and I smiled. I looked down at my sleeping child and I relaxed into the bed and attempted to fall into a deep sleep.
*~*
The sun was already up when I woke again. Hercules was sitting at the kitchen table with the baby in his arms. Gabrielle was quiet and she was walking about the house, sweeping the dirty floors. I didn't want to argue, so I walked over to Gabrielle.
"Is there any place around here where I can take a bath?" I asked. She smiled at me.
"Yeah," she answered. "We have a tub out in the barn. I already filled it with hot water. It's all ready for you."
"Thank you," I replied. Gabrielle nodded and walked away. Hercules came over to me.
"Don't you think we ought to name her?" he asked. I looked at the baby and I smiled.
"Yeah. I suppose we should," I replied quietly. I was about to make a suggestion, when shouting was heard from outside. Hercules passed the baby into Gabrielle's arms and instructed her to protect the baby. He opened the door and I stepped out before him. Several men were coming up the path to the house, dressed in black and silver armor. They had the imprint of a peacock's feathers on the chest of their armor.
"Hera," Hercules whispered. "She's probably found out about the baby. Xena, you need to take her and get out of here."
"No. I'm going to fight for my baby."
"You're not strong enough yet!" Hercules replied.
"I'm strong enough to do this, Hercules," I snapped. I stepped inside and I drew my sword and my chakram. I walked back outside and Gabrielle followed me. She had put the baby down in her cradle. "Gabrielle . . . stay back." I threw my chakram and it ricocheted off of several of the men's helmets. It came back to me and I looked at Hercules. I was worried. I hadn't wanted Hera to know of the child being Hercules'. I had figured that by staying away from Hercules, she would have never known who the father was. But sadly, that wasn't the case, and now she knew. She was after my child and I had to keep the baby safe.
Suddenly, a bright flash blinded me for a moment. A woman dressed in a black dress, wearing black feathers in her hair, appeared before us. Her eyes told us who she was. They were the eyes of Hera. She was Hera!
"You don't usually make public appearances," Hercules pointed out.
"Well, seeing as my favorite son has been shunned by the mother of your child, I thought I'd come to witness this myself."
"Witness what?" Hercules asked.
"Your deaths," Hera said with an evil grin. Another flash came before my eyes and Ares appeared.
"Sorry mom," Ares spoke up. Hera turned to him and glared at him fiercely.
"And you . . . you are weak, Ares! You can't even beat your own brother. Hercules isn't a god! You are a god! You're just worried about your father, aren't you? Well, I can tell you that Zeus' opinion of you doesn't count. You disappoint me, Ares." I looked from Hercules to Ares and then to Hera. How could Ares stand there and take those insults from his own mother?
"Just leave it alone, Hera," Hercules spoke up angrily.
"Not a chance! I won't rest until you and your bastard child are dead!" Hera screamed. She turned to me. "And you, Xena. You have humiliated my son. You have turned him down and . . ."
"I humiliated him? You're the one who has degraded him! You are the one who made him what he is," I replied. "But at least he has something that you don't."
"And what's that?" she asked with an uninterested chuckle. I swallowed hard.
"The ability to care. You have no feelings, you heartless coward. You're afraid of a tiny little infant. What are you so afraid of, Hera? Hmm?" I was so angry that I didn't realize that Hera's warriors were surrounding the house. Suddenly, Gabrielle screamed as one of the men seized her.
"Xena!" she called out. I turned and my eyes grew wide.
"Gabrielle!" I called out. I threw my chakram and it hit Gabrielle's captor. Suddenly, Hera disappeared and her men charged towards the house. Hercules began to kick and throw them off one by one as I used my sword to do the same. Ares was still there, watching the small battle. Then I heard my child's cries. I ran towards the door but another warrior cut me off. He hit me from behind and I spun around to knock him in the face with the hilt of my sword. I heard the crying stop and I ran into the house. Gabrielle followed me and we saw Ares standing there with my child in his arms.
"Ares . . ." I started with an uneasiness in my voice. I was holding onto Gabrielle's hand and I reached for my child. But before I could take her, everything went bright. A moment later, Gabrielle, Ares, the baby, and I weren't at the house anymore. We were in one of Ares' temples. "Ares! I need to get back!"
"No. You need to wait here. I'm going to help . . ."
"You're going to help Hercules?" I asked. "Never thought I'd hear . . ."
"I'm not helping him, okay? I'm helping you," he answered. He looked into my eyes, and I knew he was telling me the truth. He disappeared again, and Gabrielle and I remained in the temple with my newborn child, waiting for any word back from Hercules or Ares.
I woke to the crying of my daughter before the sun came up. Gabrielle and Hercules woke up as well, but I pulled myself out of bed and took the child into my arms. Gabrielle lit a couple of candles and Hercules stood to help me.
"I'm okay," I said, raising a hand. "I've got her." Gabrielle began to walk around, picking up things that she was afraid I might stumble over. I walked around with the baby in my arms and I soon had her in a peaceful sleep. Hercules and Gabrielle were watching me carefully and I couldn't help but smile at them. I put the baby back down in her cradle and I sat down on the bed. "You don't have to watch me like a hawk. I'm okay."
"You're healing," Gabrielle pointed out.
"Don't you dare treat me like a child," I scolded. I hadn't meant to sound so grouchy, but Gabrielle understood. She was a very understanding woman. I sighed and I shook my head. "I need some fresh air." I stood to go to the door and Hercules stood again. He was so protective of me. It was sweet, but I needed my space. "Please . . . I'll be right back." I walked out onto the porch and I sat down in the swing. I heard Gabrielle and Hercules walking around inside of the house. But it was nice to be alone. For the first time I was absolutely alone. I was still and there wasn't a child kicking around inside of me. There wasn't anymore pain.
The air was cool and the moon was high in the sky. It was nothing but a cresent shape of light had less purpose than the sun. I realized that I felt an emotion that I hadn't felt in a long time. I was happy. I was happy because I had a daughter. She wasn't a burden. I didn't want to give her away. That was quickly becoming something of the past. I knew I couldn't care for her on the road, but I didn't want to give her up.
I closed my eyes and I felt so peaceful. I could hear Gabrielle and Hercules talking. I could hear every word they spoke.
"I'm worried about her," Hercules said in a whisper, not wanting me to hear their conversation.
"She seems strong enough to take care of herself and the baby."
"I love her, Gabrielle. I love Xena and I don't want her to leave with my child. I don't want her to give my child to a stranger. I want to be there. I want to be a father to my daughter."
"You should talk to Xena," Gabrielle replied, her voice growing harder. "But if I were you I'd let her figure it out for herself. She doesn't seem like the type to settle down and be a peaceful peasant woman. You can't make her into something she isn't destined to be." I shook my head. They were arguing over me!
"Destiny . . . how would you know about that?" Hercules asked. I could hear Gabrielle shift her weight.
"What is that supposed to mean? Do you think that just because I'm an innocent peasant girl . . . that . . . that I don't know about fate and destiny? Let me tell you something, I'm not stupid! I have read nearly every scroll by every prophet and every bard that has ever lived. I know all about the ways of the world and I've never set foot out of this town!" I heard her footsteps become heavier. She was angry.
"Listen to that," came Ares' voice. I turned my head to see him standing out in the yard with his sword in his hand. I cocked my head to the side and I slowly stood up. "They're both fighting . . . over you."
"What do you want now?" I asked him, exasperation in my voice. I walked closer to him and he reached out. He took my hands in his. A warmth spread throughout my whole body and a glow surrounded us. "What are you doing?"
"I'm letting you feel just how I feel about you. That feeling you have in your heart . . . that's the feeling that flows through my body every second of every day when I think about you." I was amazed. I felt the warmth and the love. Love. He did love me. I pulled away from him and the warmth disappeared.
"Stop it!"
"Admit it, Xena!" Ares demanded in a whisper.
"Admit what?"
"Admit that . . . that this isn't what you want."
"No," I said quietly. "I won't."
"Why not?" Ares asked. He looked into my eyes and I held my breath for a moment. "You really want to be like Gabrielle? Do you really want to get up at dawn to feed the chickens and spend the rest of your day doing nothing but taking care of the baby?" I could see that Ares wanted to say something. I could see that he was pushing himself closer and closer to saying what he wanted to. I folded my arms over my chest and I watched him carefully. Finally, he spoke again. "You want me to say it? Okay. I'll say it. I care about you, Xena. Not just because of your skills with a sword. I care about you because you're beautiful and you are everything I've ever wanted in a companion." I was startled. He had said the words and I was speechless. I turned away. I walked back towards the house and Ares stepped out in front of me. "Don't do this."
"Don't do what?" I asked. "Don't go back inside to my daughter? I have a family in there, Ares, if you haven't noticed."
"I have noticed," Ares replied. "I only wish that baby were mine." My eyes went wide and I shook my head. I bit my bottom lip for a moment.
"You're only saying that because she is Hercules' daughter. If this child were anybody else's, you wouldn't have come around," I replied, trying to figure everything out for myself.
"No," Ares interjected. "I'm saying that because its true."
"Just leave it alone, Ares," I replied, begging him to stop. I didn't want to be anymore confused than I already was. At that moment, Hercules walked out of the house and he spotted me with Ares. Anger was present in the features of his face. Ares folded his arms over his chest and I turned to him. I whispered, "Just go away."
"Get away from her!" Hercules shouted with jealousy in his voice. I had never heard him so angry except for the time when I had turned Iolaus against him. My heart began to race and Gabrielle stepped out onto the porch.
"What's going on?"
"Get back inside, Gabrielle. Xena, you go too."
"No!" I answered quickly. "This is about me and I just want the both of you to let it go." I looked at Ares boldly and he disappeared. I began to walk inside and Hercules lightly took my hands in his.
"What are you doing with him?" he asked quietly. I looked at him and I sighed.
"I don't want to talk about it, Hercules. I just want to go back inside and get some sleep. I'm not thinking clearly right now." I walked past him and went back into the house. Gabrielle looked at me as she followed me in.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," I answered.
"They're fighting over you."
"If I didn't know better . . . I'd say you were too." Gabrielle blushed and looked away and I smiled. I looked down at my sleeping child and I relaxed into the bed and attempted to fall into a deep sleep.
*~*
The sun was already up when I woke again. Hercules was sitting at the kitchen table with the baby in his arms. Gabrielle was quiet and she was walking about the house, sweeping the dirty floors. I didn't want to argue, so I walked over to Gabrielle.
"Is there any place around here where I can take a bath?" I asked. She smiled at me.
"Yeah," she answered. "We have a tub out in the barn. I already filled it with hot water. It's all ready for you."
"Thank you," I replied. Gabrielle nodded and walked away. Hercules came over to me.
"Don't you think we ought to name her?" he asked. I looked at the baby and I smiled.
"Yeah. I suppose we should," I replied quietly. I was about to make a suggestion, when shouting was heard from outside. Hercules passed the baby into Gabrielle's arms and instructed her to protect the baby. He opened the door and I stepped out before him. Several men were coming up the path to the house, dressed in black and silver armor. They had the imprint of a peacock's feathers on the chest of their armor.
"Hera," Hercules whispered. "She's probably found out about the baby. Xena, you need to take her and get out of here."
"No. I'm going to fight for my baby."
"You're not strong enough yet!" Hercules replied.
"I'm strong enough to do this, Hercules," I snapped. I stepped inside and I drew my sword and my chakram. I walked back outside and Gabrielle followed me. She had put the baby down in her cradle. "Gabrielle . . . stay back." I threw my chakram and it ricocheted off of several of the men's helmets. It came back to me and I looked at Hercules. I was worried. I hadn't wanted Hera to know of the child being Hercules'. I had figured that by staying away from Hercules, she would have never known who the father was. But sadly, that wasn't the case, and now she knew. She was after my child and I had to keep the baby safe.
Suddenly, a bright flash blinded me for a moment. A woman dressed in a black dress, wearing black feathers in her hair, appeared before us. Her eyes told us who she was. They were the eyes of Hera. She was Hera!
"You don't usually make public appearances," Hercules pointed out.
"Well, seeing as my favorite son has been shunned by the mother of your child, I thought I'd come to witness this myself."
"Witness what?" Hercules asked.
"Your deaths," Hera said with an evil grin. Another flash came before my eyes and Ares appeared.
"Sorry mom," Ares spoke up. Hera turned to him and glared at him fiercely.
"And you . . . you are weak, Ares! You can't even beat your own brother. Hercules isn't a god! You are a god! You're just worried about your father, aren't you? Well, I can tell you that Zeus' opinion of you doesn't count. You disappoint me, Ares." I looked from Hercules to Ares and then to Hera. How could Ares stand there and take those insults from his own mother?
"Just leave it alone, Hera," Hercules spoke up angrily.
"Not a chance! I won't rest until you and your bastard child are dead!" Hera screamed. She turned to me. "And you, Xena. You have humiliated my son. You have turned him down and . . ."
"I humiliated him? You're the one who has degraded him! You are the one who made him what he is," I replied. "But at least he has something that you don't."
"And what's that?" she asked with an uninterested chuckle. I swallowed hard.
"The ability to care. You have no feelings, you heartless coward. You're afraid of a tiny little infant. What are you so afraid of, Hera? Hmm?" I was so angry that I didn't realize that Hera's warriors were surrounding the house. Suddenly, Gabrielle screamed as one of the men seized her.
"Xena!" she called out. I turned and my eyes grew wide.
"Gabrielle!" I called out. I threw my chakram and it hit Gabrielle's captor. Suddenly, Hera disappeared and her men charged towards the house. Hercules began to kick and throw them off one by one as I used my sword to do the same. Ares was still there, watching the small battle. Then I heard my child's cries. I ran towards the door but another warrior cut me off. He hit me from behind and I spun around to knock him in the face with the hilt of my sword. I heard the crying stop and I ran into the house. Gabrielle followed me and we saw Ares standing there with my child in his arms.
"Ares . . ." I started with an uneasiness in my voice. I was holding onto Gabrielle's hand and I reached for my child. But before I could take her, everything went bright. A moment later, Gabrielle, Ares, the baby, and I weren't at the house anymore. We were in one of Ares' temples. "Ares! I need to get back!"
"No. You need to wait here. I'm going to help . . ."
"You're going to help Hercules?" I asked. "Never thought I'd hear . . ."
"I'm not helping him, okay? I'm helping you," he answered. He looked into my eyes, and I knew he was telling me the truth. He disappeared again, and Gabrielle and I remained in the temple with my newborn child, waiting for any word back from Hercules or Ares.