Summary: Cordy has a secret. Something that she has feared since high school. Faith has a secret too. One of these secrets could be the key to life or death.

SECRETS

By: Sensue

Sept. 1, 2003

Bound at every limb by my shackles of fear
Sealed with lies through so many tears
Lost from within, pursuing the end
I fight for the chance to be lied to again

Prologue

Fear. Bunching up. Tight. Entraping. The one thing she has feared for so long had finally been brought to light. The secret she held so sacredly now exposed. She had finally been comfortable and safe; lived her life without the fear. She never thought that soon all that she held firmly in heart would be uncovered.

She kept her head high looking at the others, who were staring at her, as if they had never seen her before. Hadn't lived, loved, and fought at her side before. All that she thought would happen was starting to happen. She would never again be looked at the same way again.

She fought against this her entire life. How did he find out? It was not something that she'd left out in the open. No one had ever even attempted to look closer. For the most part, no one really cared to notice it. It wasn't even that well hidden. The hidden in plain sight philosophy had never worked so well. It had never failed in the past seven years, not once. Even in high school, her secret was well hidden.

Now it seemed that the one person she had counted on to be completely oblivious, the one who she could never see looking at those things, realized the truth. He, not knowing that it was a secret, told the others what he found. She should have known that he'd find them…he'd always looked through the other's things without asking. He always found things to make fun of the others. Now it seemed it was her turn to be humiliated, shamed, and hurt.

She should have never tried to help Faith. NO…she couldn't think that. She had to help Faith. If she hadn't, they would have both died. She would have never lived with herself it they died because she didn't help her.

Please God, don't let them figure it out. Please. Not when everything in her life had finally come together. She was married, had a little boy that called her mommy, and another baby on the way. They wouldn't understand. Angel would be hurt that she didn't tell him.

They still stared at her. It seemed as if they didn't know what to say. Shock lined there faces. Her friends, no her family, couldn't seem to accept it.

Spike, AKA William the Bloody, was the first to speak up, "I'm so sorry, Princess. I didn't know that they didn't figure it out yet." Turning towards the others, "You all are bloody blind. How could you have not noticed?"

The gaping silence lingered a moment longer, while her family gathered their thoughts.

Angel, her darling husband, spoke softy, his face showed his emotions. The fact that he was incredulous. "I can't believe this, Cordy. Why didn't you tell me?"

This seemed to bring the others to life as Wesley, Fred, Gunn, Faith, and Robin all joined in to ask their questions. "Why? Huh? No way."

You will never be strong enough
You will never be good enough
You were never conceived in love
You will not rise above

Her face turned to stone. "Never show your emotions", her mother always said, "that's how the sharks know when to attack." She felt her face turn even darker as she heard her fathers voice, degrading and filled with displeasure, "the only good thing that Chase women are for are for looking pretty, being a gracious host at political events, and lying on their backs with their legs spread open."

She couldn't let this happen. Her heart started racing, her face starting to flush as the instinct to run hit her. She had to go. Go before they started to laugh. She could face their anger, their shock, and their pity. But the one thing she couldn't face was their laughter.

She turned and ran up the stairs to the room that she shared with Angel. She locked the doors and sat on the bed, her head down. She kept telling herself to calm down, that stress wasn't good for the baby. She closed her eyes and leaned over to lay on her side. A pillow clutched in her arms as the stone she became broke and she sobbed, now alone and able to cry.

Damn it. Why? How did William find out? Angel and the others would never have had to know. Why?