It's an Alternate Life

by Gary D. Snyder

Part 1:

The holidays had come to Retroville, and all the students (and teachers) at Lindbergh Elementary School looked forward with excitement to the vacation that would start the next day. Among the students were boy genius Jimmy Neutron and his friends Carl Wheezer and Sheen Estevez, who were on their way to school.

"Just one more day until vacation," said Carl happily. "And then only a week or so until Christmas. I can hardly wait."

"Neither can I!" exclaimed Sheen. "Can't you use one of your chrono-thingies to get us there sooner, Jimmy?"

Jimmy shook his head. "Sorry, guys, but I made Mom and Dad two promises. First, I'd try to behave myself. And second, that I wouldn't tamper with the time stream. At least until after Christmas," he added.

"Oh, Christmas… I love Christmas," Carl said dreamily. "All the food, the games, the presents…"

"The waiting," Sheen interjected. "Come on, Jimmy, there must be something you can do to get around this waiting around stuff. Aren't you even curious to know what you're getting for Christmas?"

"Well," said Jimmy slowly, "I promised I wouldn't mess with the time stream, but I may have something that would work almost as well. I can't take you to Christmas any sooner, but I can give you an idea of what it might be like." He stopped walking and rummaged in his backpack to produce a small device that looked remarkably like a portable video game. "Behold the Reality Extrapolator 4000!"

Both Carl and Sheen stared at the device with interest and curiosity. "What's a Reality Exasperator, Jimmy?" asked Sheen at last.

"Reality EXTRAPOLATOR, Sheen," corrected Jimmy. "Basically, it lets you know how things would turn out if something were to happen. In this case, you could ask what would happen if you got what you wanted for Christmas."

"Oh, I get it," said Carl. "Like last year I wanted a BB gun for Christmas but my parents said that I would shoot my eye out so I never got one. This would let me know what it would have been like?"

"Sure," said Jimmy. "Let's find out." He flipped a switch on the device, activating it. On the small screen were the words:

STATE DESIRED SCENARIO

"Uh, Jimmy," began Carl, "I don't know if…"

Ignoring his friend, Jimmy said, "Carl Wheezer with a BB gun as last year's Christmas present."

The screen changed to display

SCENARIO: CARL WHEEZER WITH A BB GUN LAST CHRISTMAS

CONFIRM?

"I put in that confirmation requirement as a safeguard," explained Jimmy to Carl and Sheen. "I've gotten into too many bad situations with voice-activated devices. With this device the user has to verbally confirm his or her choice. Confirm!" he stated to the Reality Extrapolator 4000.

As Carl cowered, a visual shock wave appeared to emanate from the small box and pass through them. After it passed, things were much the same – except that all three of them had an eyepatch. Only Sheen seemed delighted.

"Cool!" he shouted. "We all look like pirates!"

"Gas planets! It looks like the BB gun really wasn't a good idea," muttered Jimmy, annoyed.

"Change it back! Change it back!" Carl screamed. "I just got a new pair of glasses and my mom will kill me if I only use half of it!"

"Relax, Carl," said Jimmy calmly, pressing some buttons on the device. "I'll just undo the extrapolation." A visual shock wave again engulfed them, and when it had passed the eyepatches were gone. Carl breathed a sigh relief as the device made a quiet beeping noise.

"That was great, Jimmy!" Sheen said. "Now let's see what it would be like if the school board had hired UltraLord to be the school principal."

Jimmy examined his gadget and shook his head. "Sorry Sheen, but that's the low battery warning – extrapolating takes a lot of power. If we tried something else and it didn't work I wouldn't be able to use the RE4000 to undo it until I could recharge it again." He looked up suddenly as a familiar bell began to ring. "Leaping leptons! We're late for school! Let's get going!"

With that, Jimmy stuffed the device back into his backpack and began running with his friends towards the school building. In his haste to get to class, however, he failed to notice that the Reality Extrapolator was still on, and that the small screen again read

STATE DESIRED SCENARIO

End of Part 1