Title: Too close
Author: Joy
Email: [email protected]
Rating: PG-13
A/N: I hope the length makes up for how long it took me to post.
24.
Jake watched Peyton sleeping in his lap. Her head was nestled on a throw pillow while he stroked her hair. Jake was very thankful Peyton didn't want to go to the dance. Dinner was more than tense by the end. Haley was glued to Lucas like her life depended on it. Nate made things worse by trying to apologize for making her feel uncomfortable while Lucas and Brooke could only look on sympathetically.
Everything had been fine until the pictures. Those stupid pictures. Karen and Deb had been the dutiful mom's taking different shots. At first it was fine. Each couple was pictured individually. Even Nathan and Brooke had looked good together hamming it up for the camera. They really were very well suited for each other since they both were made far more for public than private.
When the group shots came Haley and Lucas had stood in the middle and then Nathan & Brooke took one side while he & Peyton had the other. Deb had some thing about symmetry and balance going in her mind so they stood boy girl alternating. In the end the order was Jake, Peyton, and Lucas facing into Haley, Nathan then Brooke.
No one noticed at first that Haley was not handling have the six foot tall basketball player at her back...that is until she lost her balance a bit. Nathan caught her with his right hand and rubbed her arm a bit. "You okay," Nathan asked and Haley lost it.
No one is really clear as to what Haley thought was happening but a flashback hit full force and she coward from Nate like a kicked dog. Lucas led Haley away while everyone else stood there in shock...Nate with tears in his eyes.
Jake sighed. He did not relish being either of the Scott brothers tonight.
"Thinking?" Peyton asked in a sleepy voice.
"Yeah," Jake responded. "What do you think Haley saw?" he asked aloud.
Peyton did not pretend not to know what he was talking about. "There was a period of time when Nathan was pretty verbally abusive to her. At the time I think it upset her and made her sad but I would imagine as a memory it would be scary to have a guy that size screaming at you."
Jake nodded his head and kissed her forehead, "Have I told you recently how glad I am you're here...with me."
Peyton smiled, "You just did...But it's always nice to hear."
Jake grinned and gently pulled Peyton to a sitting position next to him. "I am very grateful for the opportunity to have you with me." Then he leaned in and gave her a short kiss.
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"We don't have to go Haley," Lucas insisted as they continued to sit in his mother's car in the parking lot. "We can go home and rent a movie..."
Haley shook her head; "I do not want him to have this much power over me."
"What power? He was trying to be nice," Lucas responded. Haley looked at him hurt. "I'm sorry okay. I'm sorry. I didn't see what you saw in your head...I saw you loose your balance and him steady you. I saw him try to help," he confessed.
"So I'm crazy?" Haley growled.
"No...Its just you're acting like he did something awful today when he didn't."
Haley grit her teeth. "Ya know what I saw," she said angrily. "I saw Nathan grab my arm and pin me against him while he yelled at me about nothing at all. I was scared of him. I can remember that. All I wanted at that moment was to be as far away from him as possible because I knew he was going to hurt me... And look...he did."
Lucas sighed, "Okay...You're right. He was scum. That is why you broke up with him. I never knew he really scared you. I'm sorry about that. But now we have to make a choice. We either get out of the car and eventually face him tonight OR we go home... or we could rain on Peyton and Jake's alone time."
Haley smiled at that. "Maybe later. Right now I want to go in and dance real close to my boyfriend."
"Sounds good to me."
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Brooke found her date sitting glumly at the table she had left her wrap on. "What's up Nathan? This is a dance you should...ya know...dance," she observed.
Nathan sat ripping up a paper napkin slowly. "I don't want to dance."
"Yes, you do...Come dance with me," she nodded her head towards the dance floor.
The younger Scott stopped his ripping to look up at Brooke. It wasn't her fault that he had been a jerk and at inopportune time Haley remembered one of those times. He nodded, "Okay."
Brooke led him by the hand to the floor where a slow song had come on. As Nate wrapped his arms around her Brooke casually said, "Do you want to talk about it or do you want to be distracted?"
Nathan smirked, "Distracted for now."
"Okay... You asked for it," she said coyly before dropping a light kiss on his lips.
"What was that?" he asked with no anger just confusion.
"A distraction," she answered and pulled him close while they danced.
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Lucas had his hand in the small of Haley's back as he led her to a mainly unoccupied table with shredded napkins and a wrap on it. "Lets not sit here," Haley whispered.
"Why?"
"Nathan is sitting here."
Lucas stared confused at the table, "How do you know that?"
She pointed at the pile of ripped napkins, "Nervous habit."
Luke paused, "Maybe would should sit here. Not let him have that much power over you...remember?"
Haley looked angry for a moment, then determined. "You are absolutely right. Lets dance."
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Nathan had gotten into the swing of things by the time the next slow song came on. He found Brooke who actually seemed okay with being his partner again despite the pack of horny males that seemed to think she would sleep with them by nature of who she was.
"Thanks for the rescue," Brooke commented. "Rumor of my new 'No drinking and sleeping with a random guy' policy had not seemed to spread."
"The guys can always dream, right?" he offered back.
"Well look at this. You seemed to actually be having a good time," Brooke stated.
Nathan pursed his lips before saying, "As long as I don't think about Haley, I'm fine."
"Now do you want to talk about it?" she asked.
"Do I get rewarded with a distraction if I do?" he teased.
"If you like," Brooke commented. "Now talk to me. I know you don't feel like you can talk to anyone about this."
"Lucas."
"What?"
Nathan shrugged, "I talk to Lucas about this."
"Wow...I had no idea. Is he okay with that?" Brooke questioned.
"He seems to be."
The song ended and Brooke motioned them to the table so they could continue to talk. Nathan continued, "I think he's taking this big brother thing to heart... I guess Lucas is just one of those people that has a good enough heart that he would listen to guy who put him through hell. I know now why she would choose him over me."
Brooke picked up his hand and held it, "Nathan, the biggest thing Haley gave you was the opportunity to break the mold you were in. That's what Lucas did for me... What you have to acknowledge is they are really good together. They may have only gotten together recently but they have been best friends forever. Its hard to compete with that kind of love and commitment."
Nathan squeezed Brooke's hand, "So maybe its time to stop trying to."
"He got it in one," she said. "Give her some space. Let her re-initiate things between you. You're just going to keep scaring her otherwise."
"You're right...I've just never been real good at patience."
"Patience is a virtue," Brooke commented in a too sweet voice.
"Just not one of mine," Nate joked back.
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Lucas turned to Haley, "Are you sure you want to do this?"
"You'll be near by?" she asked.
"Very."
"Then yes... I need to do this," Haley answered.
The couple made their way to the table Brooke and Nathan were sitting at. "Hey," Lucas said quietly. He looked at his brother then Haley who gave him a slight nod. "Brooke, come dance with me?" She shot him an 'Are you crazy?' look. "Come on," he nudged.
Brooke looked at Nathan who just nodded at her. "Okay. Lets dance Scott," she said and walked with Lucas to the edge of the floor.
Haley's eyes were trained on Nathan, who was obviously nervous and uncomfortable. She felt she still had the advantage and dove into the conversation she had been avoiding. "We really need to talk about this Nathan," Haley said simply.
"Okay...um...what really needs to be said?" he asked. "You're with Lucas and it's going to stay that way. I know that."
"Do you?" Haley asked forcefully. "Cause if you and I are going to continue to work together you are going to have to stop looking at me like I am crushing your spirit."
Nathan got ticked, "What do you want me to do Haley? I love you. You love Lucas and not me. I can't just stop loving you."
Haley breathed deeply, "I'm not asking you to. I am just asking that if we're going to do the friend thing then you have to stop looking at me like your girlfriend."
"I don't know how," he ground out.
"Then figure it out or get a new tutor. Those are your choices," she snipped back.
Nathan stared at his hands in his lap.
Haley shook her head, "I'm trying here. Despite the flashbacks and the overwhelming sense of impending doom whenever you're around. But I am trying. The least you could do is think of the Haley you used to date and try to do what's best for her."
Nathan stared in shock. Lucas had never mentioned this. "You don't see yourself as the same person as you were before the accident?" he asked bewildered.
"What accident?" she snapped at him. "You were angry and threw a rock as hard as you could at me through a pain glass window. There is no accident in that. And I'm sorry but Lucas can't even convince me otherwise."
Nathan looked defeated.
Haley continued, "And as for seeing myself as a different person...yeah I do. That girl that you dated put up with pain and abuse because she loved you. She tried to save you from yourself. I don't love you and I really don't care if you self-destruct...But that would hurt Lucas and I don't want that. So I am here trying to make a middle ground with you."
"So...you really don't think of yourself as the same person?" Nathan asked again.
"What part of yes don't you understand? You are smarter than this!"
He grit his teeth. "So you would rather completely eliminate me from your mind than reintegrate yourself?"
"Wow...what an ego?" Haley said a rubbed her temple. The action was synonymous with frustration since the accident.
"I don't actually feel like the same person Nathan. I woke up and I was angry. I have always been a person that was pretty peaceful, so waking up every morning and not feeling that peace...not feeling that joy... I know I'm not the same person. My mother even says that I am different. The doctors say it has something to do with how I hit my head and the area in my brain that got damaged and yada yada yada. The point is even if I for some unknown reason would get back together with you, I'm not the Haley you love anymore. I won't put up with the crap I saw you put her through."
"So she's gone. That part of you that believed in me is gone," he clarified.
"I hate to break this to you, but she gave up on you when you broke up. She finally saw that you weren't going to change."
"But I have," he argued.
"Yeah...but in a lot of ways she had to die for you to."
The words hung in the air like a bad aftertaste.
Haley recognized the fact that she was hurting him badly so she said, "Look, I can see you've changed. But I know that wouldn't have happened unless I was hurt. So it makes it easier to accept the fact I very well might have Swiss cheese for a brain for a while."
"But it was only a few months," Nathan offered.
She shook her head, "Those are the few months I lost everything, but I've lost other chunks too. Even when I look at pictures of things that happened last year... stuff there is no reason for me to forget... it's gone. Then a few days later the memories will come back but another chunk will be missing."
"I didn't know," he whispered.
"I know," she answered. "We didn't want to make you feel worse... None of my other friends know so you should feel special," Haley tried to joke.
Nathan thought a moment, "Did you just include me as one of your friends?"
She smirked, "Caught that did you?"
Haley sat down next to him. "We can be friends. We can get along. You just have to accept our relationship as it is now. You'll also have to accept that occasionally I might get freaked and have a flashback. They should lessen in time. In fact everything should get better with time, but for now this is it."
"I'll try," he said.
"Do or do not. There is no try," Haley said. "I felt Yoda was appropriate there. Just don't ask me to do the voice."
Haley found Lucas's worried face in the mass of bodies on the dance floor. She smiled and nodded to him. Lucas nodded her to the floor. She pointed at Nathan. Brooke nodded to her, so Haley nodded back. "Come on Nathan. Our dates are calling."
They moved to the dance floor to find their other halves for the evening. Haley said over her shoulder. "Ya gonna save me a dance?"
Nathan smiled, "Sure Haley. What ever you want."
Lucas wrapped his arms around his girl. "How'd it go?"
"Good. The whole 'I'm a different person now' thing worked really well," she said quietly.
"You think he believes you?" Luke asked.
"I hope so or I don't see us making this work as friends."
Lucas nodded and kissed her head while they danced close together.
Tbc...
A/N: Okay kids. Next chapter is the end. No tears please. So that you know I intend to make it my normal happy ending so be prepared. I like to tie up loose ends that don't even seem that loose.
REVIEW PLEASE.