Title: Look Mommy! It's Raining Shoes!

Author: Yours truly, Seadragon

Type: Ficlet

Genre: Humor/Romance

Rating: pg-13, not sure why…

Excuse: I was bored, so sue me.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine, except for the lame plot.

Summary: "What else could I throw at you? Besides, it's the damn shoe's fault you're laughing in the first place!" Keladry and Domitan bicker, poor Dom gets beaten, arrested, and bruised. Raoul gets a bit of a pay off, and Yuki finally gets a new doll…

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 "Of all the stupid, gods cursed-"

Domitan of Masbolle was walking innocently down a corridor. He turned a corner, and was greeted by a most comical sight. Of course, he burst out in laughter immediately. Until-

"Ow!"

"Serves you right!" Keladry of Mindelan snapped. "For laughing at me!"

"But a shoe?!"

"What else could I throw at you? Besides, it's the damn shoe's fault you're laughing in the first place!"

"It's really not my fault that Yuki," It could only have been Yuki, "decided to dress you up like her own personal doll!" Dom protested.

"Still…"

"Fine, I am terribly sorry, my dearest Keladry, how can you ever forgive me?"

"You can start by helping me up." Kel demanded.

Kel was currently slumped against the all, shoe in hand. The other had bounced painfully off Dom's head, and had fallen out of a near by window with a suspicious splash. She was wearing a most uncharacteristic gown in deep green. Standing, it would have probably brushed the floor. She had face paint on, and her hair up.

"Why would need to do that, oh great Protector of the Small?"

"Because I sprained my ankle walking in these damn shoes, that's why!"

Dom winced, blue eyes twinkling.

"And," She continued, "If you don't, my other shoe shall meet the same fate as the first!"

At that, Dom held out a hand to her. "What? To fall into a pond? Wouldn't want anymore bruises, now would I?"

"You and Neal really are too much alike."

"Okay, I'll take offence to that." Dom said dryly. Kel just smirked and grabbed his hand, perhaps a little tighter than necessary. Dom pulled her to her feet and dropped her hand like a hot coal. He silently willed himself not to blush and grinned.

"So why exactly are you wearing a dress anyway?" Dom asked, starting to continue walking, same as before, just a little less innocently, and with  distinctly shoe shaped bruise on his forehead.

Kel tired to follow him, but took one step and sunk to the ground again. "Oww…" She moaned.

"Aww, the poor little knight cant handle a sprained ankle- OW!"

Dom groaned and put a hand to his throbbing forehead.

"Can't say I didn't warn you." Keladry said, grinning in spite of herself. "Now help me up!"

"Ah yes, but why should I help you? You haven't got any more shoes to throw at me now! Besides. I try to make a point of not helping people who deliberately hurt me."

"Help me up Dom, or your life is forfeit!" Kel hissed.

"Ouch, it bites." Dom walked over to her and dropped to his knees just out of reach.

"Dom," Kel said warningly. "You're really asking for it now…"

"Yes, but what are you going to do to me?"

"This." Kel said grimly, and smiled sweetly.

Dom looked at the look on her face and gulped. "Uh oh…"

"Help! Help me! Please help me!" Kel shrieked, as loudly as she could.

Unluckily for Dom, a couple of palace guards were just around the corner. Kel's screams brought them running.

"This man attacked me!" She told them, her voice still high pitched and frightened. She pointed a Dom, who froze.

"Oh shit…"

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"That wasn't funny Kel!" Dom protested.

"Oh but I disagree, it was very entertaining!" Keladry said wickedly.

After some questioning, Raoul testifying on his behalf, and a fine of five gold nobles each for playing tricks, Dom had been released. Meanwhile Neal had healed Kel's sprained ankle, and Yuki had retrieved the shoes from a pond in the royal garden.

They were wandering down that very same corridor as before, Kel walking as well as could be expected in the very wet, very uncomfortable, green heels. They were bickering as usual, completely oblivious to everything around them. Not that they were missing much, the corridor and most of the connecting ones were surprisingly empty. Though it was possible all the former inhabitants had run for their lives when they had heard the pair arguing, gods the two of them were so blind…

"Ow!"

Dom groaned. "Not again!" He quickly dropped to his hands and knees next to her and grabbed both of Kel's shoes off her feet and promptly threw them out of a strategically placed window…

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF THE BLACK GOD WAS THAT?!!!!!!!!!!" A voice quite far below demanded. Dom and Kel winced simultaneously. Then they turned back to the problem at hand.

"Dom," Kel said strangely quiet. Dom gulped, last time she had worn that expression, it had cost him. Literally. "Why did you just throw my shoes out the window?"

"Silly Kel! That's an easy one!"

"Is it now?"

If Dom had stopped to think, something rarely done in his family, he might have been able to save himself from losing more money, and a beating. Though, it wasn't likely, he would have quite easily found another way to annoy Kel, see, he was getting quite good at it now.

But every once and a while, even he made a mistake, such as letting his guard down and playing Prankster and getting into a battle of wits with someone as dangerously wicked and cunning, and pretty, as Keladry of Mindelan.

"Yes, yes it is."

"And what exactly is it?"

"Now Lady Kel, I really think you should talk to your mother about such things!"

"Domitan, I am sitting on the floor, in a dress, with another sprained ankle, and no shoes, as they have been DROPPED ON SOME POOR UNEXPECTED NOBLE'S HEAD! I am really starting to get annoyed."

"But what will you do about it? Your shoes are our the window, and last time it really, quite literally, cost you!"

Keladry appeared deep in thought, until…

"NEAL! HELP ME!"

The way she was shrieking, there was no way Neal couldn't hear her, unless his head was a block of wood. Come to think of it, I wouldn't put it past him. But for the sake of torturing Dom, lets just say he heard. And came running.

"Kel?! What's wrong?"

He had to hand it to her, she was smart. Meathead would jump at a chance to beat on him, and was fiercely protective of her, like an older brother would be, even if she never found out. And now she was using it to her advantage. And lo and behold, he had brought a few o her friends. Including Cleon, who didn't particularly like Dom to start with.

"Oh shit…"

Kel gave him a wicked grin and the last thing he thought was he had the perfect revenge…

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A couple hours, quite a few bandages, a visit to the healers, the loss of fifteen gold nobles each, and a lecture from Raoul later, Domitan and Keladry were back at it. The healer's visit had really been for both of them, though Dom needed it quite a bit more, Kel had just had a sprained ankle.

Mirthros.

Who knew Kel's friends were so vicious and bloodthirsty! He had definitely come out of it the worse. A broken nose, various cuts and bruises, a dislocated elbow, and three broken fingers later, Keladry had finally managed to stop laughing and save him.

Needless to say, Raoul hadn't been impressed. Actually, they had a sneaking suspicion that he was enjoying himself, but didn't dare confront him. No one wanted to make the Giantkiller mad, it definitely wasn't something you did twice…

But he had yelled at them and sent them on their way. Which somehow turned out to that exact same corridor.

Kel's shoes had been recovered from the unfortunate noble. Yuki had decided they were suitable punishment, but Kel had a distinct feeling that Yuki just liked to see her suffer.

Either way, once again they were walking down that same corridor. Dom had a sling on his left arm, and a piece of healer's tape on his nose. Keladry had her shoes. It was hard to say who was suffering more…

To make matters even worse, Raoul had made them each pay fifteen gold nobles! Five to the healers, five to the noble with the two shoe shaped bruises on his head (Dom knew how that felt!), and five to himself.

So far, they both had lost twenty nobles in one day, Kel had lost her shoes twice, and sprained her ankle twice. But poor Dom really had come off the worse. The money, the shoes to the head, the arrest, the beating…

He wondered if it was really worth it, but then he remembered his Evil Revenge Plan.

As before mentioned, it is quite stupid to get involved in a battle of wits with someone as dangerously evil, and pretty, as Keladry of Mindelan.

But this Evil Revenge Plan did two things for him. One, it got him, well, revenge. And two, well you'll just have to wait and see. But it would only work if she yelled for help again, though judging from her track record, there was no doubt that she would. And Dom would be ready.

"OW! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THESE FREAKIN' SHOES?!"

"I don't think it's the shoes…"

Everything was going to plan, except for one thing. He had made a vital mistake.

Boink, crash…

"Look Mommy! It's raining shoes!"

"Oww…"

"Not another word from y-"

"You really need to think of a more original punishment, oh brave sir knight!"

"Look Mommy! Another one!"

"I was saying…"

"Watch it."

"Or what? You're out of shoes!"

And now was his chance.

"HELP! HELP! Anyone! HELP!"

Dom grabbed her hand and pulled her to her feet. When she looked at him

quizzically, he shrugged. "Might as well be guilty for once."

And he kissed her.

Shock spread through her body like wildfire. Then she started to respond. Dom started to get dizzy from lack of air, but found he didn't ever want to let go. But that choice was made for him when someone behind him cleared their throat, loudly and awkwardly.

Somehow, they had ended up just a few doors away from Lord Wyldon's office, Dom couldn't have planned it better if he tried. And, he got the added bonus of finally getting to kiss Lady Knight Keladry of Mindelan.

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