"It's... a nice day." Shinji said as he walked through the park. For a moment, the thought of doing this more often didn't seem so bad. The thought vanished just as fast as it came. He already knew he didn't have the time to do stuff like this.

Most of the time, he would busy himself with chores or something of that nature in order to keep himself from having free time to think but today could have been an exception. For once, he just wanted to sit on one of the benches and not be bothered.

Sadly, he didn't have the time to do that and, even worse, the day that he admired didn't mirrorhis thoughts or feelings at all.

A storm of emotions raged inside him and trying to think about his situation only made it worse. To be more exact, it was like his feelings were battling for control whereas only one could come out on top and that is where everything became clouded.

This was something he couldn't run away from so he wouldn't even try and it was obvious that no good would come from trying to ignore what happened but despite that, he still had mixed feelings.

To tell the truth, he was glad that she still referred to him as a friend and liked spending time with him but it was also a small part of him that wanted her to reject and hate him for doing that to her.

Before he even realized it, he had arrived at the girl's house.

Shinji was about to cautiously knocked on the door with soft steady knocks hoping that he wouldn't alarm her if she was in the process of doing something but decided the doorbell would be better to use. When he reached over to ring the doorbell, his arm accidentally brushed against the door and, to his surprise, creaked open.

"Hikari…" Shinji muttered aloud as he entered the house, but not before sighing, and slammed the door shut.

Lately

Shinji locked the door behind him and made his way through the house as he looked for the girl. She probably knew how much it irked him when she left the door unlocked but she kept doing it, and it would seem no matter how many times Shinji begged her she would keep doing it. It probably amused her but it worried him to no end. It was like she was doing it simply to keep herself entertained.

Thoughts on the matter of leaving the door unlocked drifted elsewhere as he called out her name, "Hikari?"

"I'm in my room." The girl replied just loudly enough for the boy to hear. As he walked down the hall towards her room, he realized just how lonely it actually was here.

It was almost like a doll house. Everything was in each of the rooms but all of them were lacking the presence of the person who once lived in them. It wasn't simply a feeling of emptiness but that of loneliness that unnerved Shinji as he stepped towards her room.

It reminded him of his uncle's house.

Shinji was thankful as the memories of his time spend in his uncle's care subsided as he quietly slipped into her room and found the girl lying on her bed. Although he didn't know her long, the differences between this Hikari and the old one could easily be seen and noticed by casual onlooker.

Her trademark pigtails were gone, now her short brown hair simply laid beside her as she rested and her normally outgoing, cheerful personality was replaced with a mere shell of her former self. As he pulled out a chair from the corner of her room, Shinji felt that she was still trying to be her usual self except that it was easy for him to tell she changed.

Nevertheless, the biggest difference, and the cause of the girl's change, was the jagged scar that was on her face and overlapped her eye.

Shinji knew that she was permanently blind, but he was a bit too dense to notice the other effects it had on the girl. It nearly shattered the girl's concept of her own beauty and was the reason she hid inside the house.

The pilot turned away when he found himself staring at scar that was inflicted on the girl because of him. If he could have been just a little bit faster or stronger…

"You are thinking about it again, aren't you?" The girl's soft voice penetrated his thoughts and caused him to turn towards her as she spoke, "It was just… bad timing on my part."

Again, a part of Shinji sparked and came to life with that statement. It was the part of him that wanted her to hate him so he could just accept that and move on. It was like cruel and unusual punishment, but he still came even if he did feel that way.

It was like paying a dollar to your victim's parents on the anniversary of his or her death every single year. It disturbed the boy that he could say that was how it felt, but that exactly how it was. He almost wanted her to get up and hit him…

It wasn't a passing moment that he didn't think about what he had done to Hikari. That single scar completely crushed her and nearly destroyed her life.

"I'm… sorry." The boy said he lay back in the chair and tried to get comfortable.

For a few seconds, the girl's room was silent except for the soft breathing of the children and the sound of the air conditioner. Neither of the two was surprised that is started like this since it happened most of the time. The first few minutes would normally result in awkward silence while the rest of his visit was actually pretty fun compared with what he did most of the time.

Shinji's head rose to meet the girl's cheerful expression as she pulled the covers back in order to get out of the bed, "I'll go and make us lunch." Hikari exclaimed like a little girl going on a picnic causing a small smile to appear on the boy's face.

As she swung her legs from under the bed sheets and towards the side of the bed, Shinji offer the girl a helping hand to help her up.

He quietly watched as she got up on her own power, put on her slippers, and walked towards the kitchen.

The blue-eyed boy wasn't surprised in the least. Although she felt that she wasn't pretty anymore or that she didn't have the right to be a class representative, Hikari was determined to hold fast to her independence.

It was almost like an unwritten code that stated although she welcomed his visits, she would never ask him for help in any form; however, he didn't mind as long as she was content.

"What do you want to eat Shinji?"

"W-Whatever you make." The boy replied quickly, unprepared for the question.

Shinji followed Hikari into the kitchen and the sound of something being fried met his ears. He took a chair from the table and promptly took a seat as he waited for the girl to finish.

"It's a nice day…" Hikari adjusted the heat and added a bit of salt to the yellow substance that was bubbling in the skillet.

The pilot leaned back, "Yea…"

It was just plain and simple small talk. Although he was sure that both of them felt that it wasted their time, they had to say something or the tension around them would just continue to build.

Nevertheless, Shinji had something new on the agenda and he was going to bring it up.

When he turned back towards the girl, the words he was about to say almost instantly died on his tongue. It wasn't because of the robotic fashion of which the girl cooked the food or because of the intense glare the single brown eye placed on the flames under the skillet, but it was the aura that surrounded her.

By no means was Shinji a spiritual person but he could feel the temperature in the room drop a few degrees and the fact that it was mostly his fault nearly caused him shudder.

It was his fault that she felt that she wasn't pretty anymore, it was his fault that her smiles were so empty, it was his fault that she stopped going to school, and it was his fault that her life was falling into pieces.

What could he do? Just saying sorry wasn't enough and no matter how guilty he felt it wouldn't change the fact that she was scarred for life.

He was a pilot... It was his job to protect people, especially those that were around him, but he just ended up watching them get hurt.

A gentle hand caressed his shoulder as he furiously wiped at the tears that threaten to come down his face, "Are you okay Shinji?" Hikari asked with concern weighting in heavy in her voice.

The brown-eyed girl knew that it hurt him to see her, but for some reason it was a very small part of her that wanted to see him in pain. He didn't know how it felt to see your own blood spraying out into the air and back onto your face, and he didn't know how it felt have your eye socket shattered while you laid on the cold cement in shock.

Disgusted with herself for thinking like that, the girl withdrew her touch from the boy.

Hikari might have been surprised, but Shinji actually knew how it felt to see your blood spray from your body, and he felt pain beyond of that which she could only imagine.

Shinji was coming to terms with the physical pain that came with piloting but nothing could rival the thought of knowing that he ruined one of his friends' lives because he was so weak.

Words wanted to be said and statements wanted to be made, but nothing was done as the two teenagers wandered into the other's thoughts.

She wanted to tell him that she appreciated the fact that he came and that he could leave if he wanted… and never come back if he really wanted it that way, but she honestly didn't know how to say she did like seeing him everyday and was thankful that he came.

The pilot, on the other hand, was trying not to say anything. He already put her through so much. He remembered watching her father move away along with her sisters to a safer city and left the girl behind since she 'wanted to be with friends and so she could finish school'.

No one besides him visited and she never returned to school after the incident.

Running away wasn't limited to actually running away, it could be a lot of different things such as locking yourself away or refusing to accept something and instead remain ignorant in order to make you feel better.

The girl behind the boy was obviously doing the former and, although Shinji was honestly trying to help, he didn't know if what he had in mind was going to work or not.

The forgotten egg started to burn and Hikari turned away to focus her attention on cooking, "I should have been paying attention." The girl muttered as she watched the edges of some of the curds start to brown.

The moment she moved towards the stove, his hand shot out and wrapped around her wrist.

This wasn't the first time either one of them touched each other, but it was surely one of the most important. Like her independence, touch was another taboo subject and both of them fully understood that but what Shinji was doing was an open breech of their silent agreement.

They stood like that waiting for the other to move or, at least, speak.

At first, she wanted to give him an excuse so she could free herself but as time passed the warmth of his hand eased her and his firm grip turned into a softer one.

"Wait Hikari…" He paused as he searched for the right words to use, "I-I want you to s-start going to school again."

Shinji prepared himself from everything ranging from her just outright crying to her trying to kill him with one of the knives she used in the kitchen often, but the heavenly smile that graced her face was one of the things he least expected.

"I'll go if you promise to come with me." She whispered as her smile got even larger. Hikari somehow found out that he wasn't going to school. Probably from someone at school but he paid no thought to that at the moment.

Lost in the glory of her smile, Shinji could only nod with a dumb expression on his face.

It was easier than he expected.

As she rushed back to the stove, the brown-haired boy couldn't help but to smile. The bright yellow tee shirt, that was already a few sizes too big for her, hid her girlish figure completely but it reminded the boy of the beautiful day that he witnessed on his way here.

Before he realized it, he was daydreaming.

"Here."

A solid white plate with burnt eggs on them landed on the table in front of Shinji. Before he could even think of an objection, Hikari held up her hand.

"It's your fault they got burnt so you have to eat them." She demanded playfully as Shinji stared at her with his mouth open.

"B-But… I'm not going to eat them!" Shinji yelled with a grave look on his face.

Hikari burst into laughter at Shinji's ordeal. It always made her laugh when the boy got upset or anything of that nature.

The girl waved him off, "I was joking Shinji." She laughed as the dumbfounded expression returned to the boy's face again.

Shinji was pretty dense.

The telephone started to ring and Shinji became suspicious when the girl started exchanging nervous glances at the phone and then at him.

Her chair screeched as it moved across the floor as the young girl got up.

Shinji blinked a few times as Hikari quickly answered the phone before the third ring. It was very strange for Hikari to even get a call during this time of day, and Shinji already knew that her family only called on Sunday mornings.

"Yea," The girl said softly as she began to unconsciously nod her head, "I'll go with you."

Hikari watched the boy stiffed as he realized who the caller was. She couldn't exactly call it eavesdropping since he couldn't help but over hear her, but she also knew that she wouldn't be able to hide the identity of the caller.

It was Touji.

If the fraction of Hikari that blamed Shinji for what happened to her was a person, it had to be the boy who blamed Shinji for nearly everything. Touji completely, and without question, hated Shinji's very being and the fact that bothered her most was that Shinji didn't even try to defend himself.

At first, Touji was angry for what happened to his sister and blamed it on the pilot of Evangelion but, when he actually witnessed one of his friends being hurt, he nearly snapped.

Her thoughts were violently interrupted as the boy briefly excused himself and walked out of the kitchen towards the front door. Hikari wanted to shout after the pilot but the phone held her in hand prevented her from doing that, so she simply watched the boy make his exit.

She sighed, "No…" Hikari whispered into the receiver, "I was just thinking about something."

For the first time, they didn't share a joyful parting.

-

The kitchen table was normally a place where stressed was relieved and tales were shared but, at a certain apartment, the kitchen table was under the law of silence and indifference that the purple-haired guardian broke as she sat across from the pilot she was responsible for.

"How did it go?"

Misato twirled the chop sticks in the miso soup as she asked the question. She offered to go with him sometimes but he felt this was something that he should do on his own and, as long as Shinji wasn't hurting himself in the process, it was okay with her.

However, his guardian was starting to notice how the boy was acting lately.

"Shinji," She called out and watched her voice rouse the boy from his thoughts, "Is something wrong? You didn't answer my question."

"A-Ah, it was alright…"

"Did something happen?"

"N-No! Nothing at all…"

The woman sighed, she wasn't at all happy about Shinji wanting to visit the girl but it wasn't exactly her place to tell him not to even if she was his legal guardian. Besides, just keeping him isolated wouldn't relieve him of his guilty conscious.

Shinji looked at his rice in front of him with disinterest, "Misato… I asked her to start going back to school."

"That is one of the best things she could do right now." The raven-haired woman agreed as she watched the boy pick at his food.

"Yea…"

The volume of her laugh caused Shinji to jump, "When are you going to stop moping around? You did something good today so you should be proud of yourself."

She honestly felt better when Shinji smiled and later laughed with her. Misato liked to see the boy smiled and wished he would always have days when he could just lay back and smile, but since that didn't seem like it would be happening any time soon she would at least try to make him feel comfortable.

Misato suddenly pushed the soup aside and laid on the table, "Man, I'm tired," The woman said aloud as she slowly pulled her jacket off, "Shinji, could you perhaps… give me a massage?"

The boy's face stared to turn into a bright shade of red and he shielded his eyes as if the woman was radiating with light. She laughed as she watched Shinji's antics, "I thought it would be good for you to get a laugh in before you started on the chores."

"B-but you had some to do yesterday and I d-did them for you!"

The purple-haired woman smiled as she flashed the boy a smile, "I don't remember asking you to do them."

The defeated pilot slowly walked towards the kitchen to start on the dishes, before he entered the room he raised his head and turned towards his guardian, "Thank you Misato."

The woman raised her beer in the air, "Ha, don't worry about it."

-

Since the incident, he rarely got up in the morning but now he was fully dressed and was prepared to meet the day. He did exactly that as he firmly shut the door behind him as he yelled good-bye to a half awake Misato.

The morning air was truly refreshing. Although it did little to ease the boy's nerves it did make him appreciate the fact that he really got up and built up enough courage to go to school.

As the boy walked towards the school, he once again admired the day and also the city. It was almost exactly like yesterday but the breath taking splendor of actually looking at the city made up for that.

What little sunlight did make it past the clouds reflected off the many windows on the buildings throughout the city and the tall skyscrapers stood as a testament to the city's strength and ability to face any kind of adversity.

Time gradually passed as Shinji walked through the city, and, before he knew it, he was standing in front of the school. His knees shook as an uneasy feeling came to rest in his heart and also caused the boy to think about retreating.

"If you promise to come with me…"

The statement pushed away the nervous feelings that gripped the boy's mind. How could he run away when it was his responsibility to fight and, more importantly, protect the people around him?

Nothing good would result in his running away.

If Hikari could face the trials that troubled her so much on a daily basis, shouldn't he be able to do something like this with ease?

Shinji steeled himself as he quietly walked into the school. The ticking of the clock placed in the hall intimidated him to an extent, but it would not shake the boy's determination. Sadly, Shinji didn't even plan on making it this far so when his classroom's door came into sight, his heart stared to beat faster as he approached the door handle.

He didn't know why he was so scared to open the door, yet at the same time the answer hid in his soul and far away from the eye of the mind. There wasn't any profound meaning in realizing that his fear was coming from the part of that knew he was going to be looking at some of the people that probably blamed him for what happened, but there was meaning in the fact that he was going to meet all of them face-to-face and accept responsibility for what happened.

Shinji applied pressure to the door handle and watched the door opened as he slightly pushed it open.

A familiar sight met his eyes as he wandered into the room. The smell of chalk came from the board and he could still see some small scribbles left on the chalkboard since the eraser failed to erase all of the white substance.

The classroom was just how he remembered it.

His eyes drifted towards the window where a girl sat facing the window.

It was her azure hair and ruby eyes that drew his attention most of the time, but it was her awkward pose that made the boy's eyes fall on her. He didn't know Rei enough to consider her one of his best friend or something of that nature, but he knew her enough to tell that something was bothering her. The albino, uncharacteristically, quickly turned to Shinji and simply stared at him with something he couldn't quite make out hidden within her gaze.

As he looked at the girl, images of holding her flashed into his mind but they swiftly left his thoughts as another person made their presence known.

Hikari stretched her arms out and hastily brought one of her hands to her mouth as she yawned. She wondered what was happening between the two pilots but dismissed it as a work thing and smiled at the boy.

Shinji's head snapped in her direction. The alarmed expression on his face softened when he saw the smile on the girl's face. Her simple smile adorned her face like lights strung around a Christmas tree and just being on the receiving end of that magnificent smile almost moved Shinji to tears.

The girl, had she know how much her smile affected him, would have teased him but, as the school bell started to ring and signaled that the rest of the students would be here within minutes, she honestly felt the need to ask him an important question. She was so caught up in her own pity that she didn't even notice how much it was hurting the people who tried to care for her.

Hikari leaned forward and placed her elbows on her desk, "Shinji." She calmly watched the boy as he stopped, walked towards his desk, and looked at his classmate.

Caring for other people was something that came naturally to her but at this very moment, she had great difficultly in trying to ask Shinji a simple question. She opened her mouth to speak but closed it before her voice could form words.

Shinji's hope faded as the seconds ticked away. Upon seeing that she wasn't going to say anything, the blue-eyed pilot took his seat.

"Shinji," Hikari said softly as her tone indicated that she was annoyed because she couldn't say what she had to say the first time around, "How have you been… lately?"

-Fin

What up? I just got finishing editing this chapter.

So long… I haven't written any updates for long. I don't blame people for sending those emails. I'm half motivated though, so I'll try by best. I actually had chapters for this and other stories on my computer but it crashed taking them down with it. I lost my motivation for a while but here I go with trying to finish one of my better ideas.

Like always, many thanks for reading and many many thanks for reviewing.

Chibi Fenrir