April 13, 1912

I was jarred out of a deep sleep by a slamming door. As I came to, I also heard the sound of someone storming down the hallway. Despite the hostile atmosphere I woke up to, the morning was beautiful. I decided to freshen up and get dressed for breakfast. A knock on the door interrupted by as I brushed my hair.

"Who is it?"

"It's Cal."

My heart skipped a beat as I set my brush down. I walked over to the door, exhaled deeply, and opened it.

Caledon leaned against the doorframe and said, "Good morning, Victoria."

"Good morning. How are you?"

"Very well, and you?"

"I'm fine. Looking forward to enjoying this beautiful day."

"I wish I could say the same."

I invited him in and asked, "What's the matter? I thought I heard your door slam earlier this morning."

"You did- it was Rose. She and I got into an argument. That's all we seem to do lately."

I put my hand on his and said, "Everything happens for a reason, I suppose."

His eyes locked with mine and I felt like every ounce of my body was going to melt.

"Would you like to have breakfast with me? It was just set up on my sun deck…it was supposed to be for Rose and I, but I don't know where she even is."

I smiled and said, "I would love to."

"All right then."

I followed Caledon out of the room and down the hallway to his room. When we arrived, I was awestruck by the elaborate breakfast that had been set up. He pulled out a chair for me and I sat down in it.

"Thank you for inviting me," I said, "This is so lovely."

Caledon sat across from me and replied," I figured that you would enjoy this. Care for a mimosa?"

"I would love one."
After the servant filled our glasses, Caledon decided to make a toast.

"Here's to a new start for you in America."

"A new start."

We tapped our glasses together and drank to the toast. Caledon was the first to speak afterwards.

"Did you sleep well last night?"

"Very. And yourself?"

"All I know is that I'm glad we had that final conversation last night."

I didn't want to admit it, but that very conversation was all I had concentrated on the previous night. As I slept, I heard Caledon's last sentence he said that night repeat over and over in my head:

"And not only are you a proper lady, but you're the most beautiful one I've seen in my entire life."

Not "one of the most," but he said that I was the most beautiful woman he had seen in his entire life. I was so desperate to ask him if he really meant it or not, but decided to keep to myself.

"You seem really upset," I said, "It's written all over your face. You're not completely in this moment- your head is someplace else."

"I've been thinking about what you said last night…and how I treated that young man last night, and the way I've been treating people all of my life. Maybe it's the reason I haven't found true happiness and love."

I looked at him and simply replied, "Maybe."

"Can I ask you something personal?"

I swallowed the lump forming in my throat and said, "Sure."

"My sister's husband died last year and she's still recovering from it. They were so in love and when he died, she was devastated. When you talk about losing your husband, you don't seem..I don't know how to put this. You don't seem affected by it. Was it a happy marriage?"

I took a long sip of my mimosa and thought about whether or not I wanted to open up to Caledon. It was only fair that I do so- after all, I wanted him to have complete trust in me.

"Stephen and I were married for almost three years. We had known each other for a long time before that, but our families pushed for us to be together. I thought that we loved each other deeply at the beginning, but I think that I was just telling myself that. A year before he fell ill, I stumbled upon these letters that another woman was writing him. She's a well-known stage actress in the part of England I'm from. We went to see her in The Cherry Orchard and from that point on, I knew they were having an affair. I never said anything to anyone. In fact, you're the first person I've told about this. I tried so hard to love him and be perfect for him, and that's how he repaid me. Sometimes I wonder- if the show had been on the other foot and I had been the one dying, would he have been there for me? Where was this other woman when Stephen was in the last stages of his illness? I..I.."

I was so overcome with emotion that I couldn't say anymore. Tears were rolling uncontrollably down my face and I looked away so that Caledon wouldn't see me.

"I didn't mean to upset you," he whispered.

"It's all right," I replied, "I needed to get all of those emotions out. I've been holding them in for so long inside."

"I don't understand how a man with a wife like you would stray. You're beautiful, intelligent, well-spoken…you seem like a perfect wife."

"I wish that Stephen had shared the same sentiments as you."

Caledon reached across the table and lifted my head with his fingertips. Then he looked to his left, and then to his right- almost as if he were checking to see if anyone was around.

"Victoria, do you realize that you were right about one thing last night."

"And what's that?"

"I do have an interest in you/"

"What kind of interest?"

"I don't know….but when I look into your eyes, it feels almost as if I knew you in another lifetime. When you returned my pocket watch yesterday and I saw you, it was as if everything around me stopped. I've never experienced anything like it before."

"I felt the same way," I whispered.

"Come again?"

"I said that I felt the same."

At that point, a deep emotional connection was made between Caledon and I. Finally, I was beginning to let him into my heart without any hesitation. We finished breakfast and then Caledon showed me around the suite.

"Rose and Ruth are staying in the adjoining room."

"So this is all yours."

"Yes. Do you care for some wine?"

"No thank you."

I waited while he poured himself a glass. Then he joined me in the main sitting room.

"So where about in America do you live?" I asked.

"In Philadelphia."

"That's a major city of commerce, right?"

"Yes- right behind New York City and Chicago. My family owns steel mills and the main one is there."

I couldn't think of anything to say, and then something finally came into my head.

"So do your mother and father fancy Rose?"

"They think she's too young and spoiled for me. I also think they know Ruth's intentions."

"Her intentions?"

"Yes. Rose's father left them and took every penny. They're living off the last of their savings. If I had no money, I guarantee you that Rose and I would not be together."

"That's a shame. You seem like if you met the right woman, you'd be a loving and caring husband."

He moved closer to me and put his wine glass down.

"Do you know what I want more than anything in the world?"

"What's that?"

"I think I'm ready to be a father. I'm 32 years old and financially set for the rest of my life, and yet I don't feel complete."

"Stephen wasn't interested in having children. Believe me, I was ready and so were our families. But for some reason, he was afraid to start a family. Maybe he felt as if he would make an inadequate father. In a way, I'm glad that we never had children. I can't imagine what it must be like to raise a child as a widow."

"My sister and her husband had a baby six months before he died- a girl. Sometimes I think that she's what gives Eliza the strength to get through her grief."

"You sound like you really love Eliza."

"I do. She's your age, actually. And my niece, Anastacia, is the most beautiful little girl. Being around her makes me want to have children even more."

"How does Rose feel about having children?"

"She's seventeen. It's the last thing on her mind. That's something we find ourselves arguing about often. I guess there's just no hope for now."

I looked down and saw that Caledon's hand was on my upper leg. He saw that I noticed it, and he moved away.

"I'm sorry," he said.

"I'm not bothered by it."

Caledon moved even closer to me and slowly lifted his hand to my face. He hesitated a little at first, like he wasn't sure of what he was doing. Then he ran his thumb across my cheek- just his touch left me breathless.

"Your skin feels like silk," he said quietly, "Do you even realize how beautiful you are?"

I was so caught up in the moment, I couldn't think of anything to say. I could feel his breathing on my face as we looked into each other's eyes. I don't think I'll ever forget that moment. It only lasted for a minute or so, but it felt like the sweetest eternity. Before I knew it, Caledon leaned towards me and closed his eyes. I did the same, and the next sensation I felt was his lips pressed against mine. However, that moment was quickly interrupted when Mr. Lovejoy came into the room.

Caledon growled, "Haven't you ever heard of knocking before entering?"

"I'm sorry, Mr. Hockley. Mr. Andrews and Mr. Guggenheim are requesting your presence in the Smoking Room."

"Tell them I'm busy."

"They insisted. It's a very important business matter."

Caledon let out a sigh of frustration and replied, "I'll be down in a moment."

After Mr. Lovejoy left the room, I said, "I guess I should get going. I hate to hold you back from your social events."

"I want you to hold me back. My life is nothing but business meetings. This is a very welcome change and I'm so sorry I had to leave you like this."

I took the initiative and kissed him upon his lips and replied, "It's all right, really. Thank you for breakfast- and for listening to me."

"The pleasure was all mine. I'll walk you back to your room."

We both stood up and exited the room. When we arrived at the door, Caledon smiled as he looked at me.

He whispered, "I would kiss you, but I can see Lovejoy watching from the corner of my eye. I can't do anything without him right under my nose."

"Can't you fire him?"

"I suppose I could."

We laughed and then he picked up my hand to kiss it.

"This will do until later tonight."

"Later tonight?"

"You'll see. Rose will probably be occupied with that boy from steerage- she won't even know I'm there. Would you mind accompanying me to dinner tonight?"

"Do you even have to ask?"

He squeezed my hand and replied, "I'll be here at a quarter to seven."

"All right. Goodbye."

"Goodbye."

Not even fifteen minutes later, someone knocked on my door again. When I answered it, I was surprised by who was standing in the doorway.

"Mr. Lovejoy," I said, "How can I help you?"

"Ms. Camden, I know that Mr. Hockley has grown a fondness for you, but do keep one thing in mind- he's an engaged man. He's marrying Rose when we return to Philadelphia. Would you be able to live with yourself if you ruined that wedding?"

As he finished his sentence, I saw Mr. Lovejoy's eyes dart quickly to his left. I looked down the hallway and saw Ruth. She cast a malevolent glare at me and then disappeared (or in my opinion, slithered) back into her room.

I lowered my voice and replied, "Mr. Lovejoy, you tell Mrs. DeWitt-Bukater that if she wishes to address this subject with me, she can talk to me in person instead of sending you. Have a good day."

I closed the door before he could get a word in edgewise, and thought to myself, You should have realized this would happen when you started having feelings for Caledon.

The diary that I had been writing in caught my eye, and I figured that maybe I could release some tension by recording my thoughts.

April 13, 1912

I honestly wish that I were somewhere else other than Titanic. I need to be away…someplace where I can be far from this situation.Don't get me wrong- the ship is beautiful and pretty much everything has been perfect. But now that Caledon has graced my life with his presence, I've never been more confused yet enthralled in my life. This morning, he invited me to breakfast and we had the most revealing conversation. I learned some very interesting things about him and I opened myself up to him, which is rare for me to do with a stranger. I can look into Caledon's eyes and feel comforted- which is scaring me more and more by the moment. We only have a few days left here on the ship, and it will be quite intriguing to see where those two days lead Caledon and I. I just hope that in the end, no one is hurt and everything works out for the best.

I closed the diary and became lost in various thoughts for a moment. Then I got up and left the room- I needed fresh air and to get away as best as I could. As I walked along the first-class deck, I was surprised to see Rose with the gentleman who had saved her the previous night. He was showing her a book of sketches, and she seemed greatly intrigued- with both the drawings and with him. I approached them and made conversation.

"Hello," I said.

Rose looked up and smiled, saying, "Hello, Victoria. Did you and Cal have a nice breakfast together?"

I replied, "It was lovely. Did your mother inform you about it?"

"Of course she did. She keeps her nose in everyone's business but hers. By the way, Victoria, this is Jack. Jack, Victoria."

As I reached to shake his hand, he kissed it.

"Pleased to meet you, Victoria."

"You were the one who saved Rose last night, weren't you?"

"In the flesh."

I looked down at his drawings and said, "Those are magnificent. Did you draw those yourself, Jack?"

"Sure did."

"So where are you from?"

"My family's from Minnesota, but now I travel anywhere and anyplace I can."

"Wherever the wind takes you."

"Exactly. And judging by your accent, you're definitely not from America."

"No, I'm from England."

"What brings you to Titanic?"

"I guess I'm doing the same as you are. I needed a new start, so I decided to move to America. I just wonder if it will hold up to its reputation of being the land of opportunity."

I finished looking at his sketches and then stood up.

"Leaving so soon?" Rose asked.

"I'll leave you two alone. I'll see you at dinner tonight. It was nice meeting you, Jack."

"The pleasure was all mine, Victoria."

I left the area and went inside the ship, to the tea room.

"Vicki!"

I turned around and saw that Molly Brown was calling me. She was sitting at a large table with a few other of the first-class women, including Ruth. At first I was reluctant, but I didn't want to be offensive. I took a deep breath and approached the table.

Molly said, "Come join us, Vicki. You don't mind me calling you that, do you?"

No one in my life had ever called me by that nickname- I thought it was amusing.

"I don't mind at all."

"Have a seat."

I sat in a chair, next to Madeline Astor. Besides Molly, she seemed to be the most friendly at the table. A server poured a cup of tea for me and I observed everything around me but the conversation. Suddenly, Ruth spoke up and tried to get my attention.

"Victoria, who's your favorite author?"

I quietly replied, "Charles Dickens. I love his ability to make his stories so real."

"You know, I just read an incredible novel. I can't remember who wrote it, but the premise of the story was quite intriguing."

Molly said, "Well, go on and tell us what it was about!"

"It was about a woman- a beautiful temptress from Europe. She was a widow and decided to abandon her family for a new life in another country. During her journey, she meets a married man and tricks him into falling in love with her. She ends up leaving the poor man and not only ruins his life, but his wife's as well."

My face burned with rage. I knew that she was talking about me, not some fantastic novel. I was aggravated with the childish games Ruth was playing, and I stood up.

"Ladies," I said, "I hate to be rude, but I'm not feeling very well. I'm heading to my room. Thank you for inviting me here."

As I left, I felt that there was someone following me. It was Ruth. She cornered me by the chapel.

She sneered, "I don't know what intentions you have, but they will not be tolerated. Stay away from Cal. He won't fall into the trap you're setting, Victoria. He likes classy women, not trollops who go out of their way to impress a wealthy man. Don't make me warn you again, or you'll be sorry."

Before I could say anything, she briskly walked away. I stayed in my place for a few moments, trying my hardest not to show any emotion. I was incredibly upset, but I was damned if I was going to let this woman make me cry. I composed myself and then headed back to my room. In order to get to the staircase, I had to walk past the Smoking Room. I knew Caledon would be in there, so I walked by quickly with my head down. A few moments later, I heard his voice.

"Victoria, is that you?"

I turned around as he walked towards me.

"What are you doing down here?" he asked.

"I'm not allowed to walk around the ship now? I guess it seems I can't do anything right around here! I.."

I couldn't hold it in any longer. The pent-up tears came out and I tried my best to not sob. He came towards me and I backed away.

"I can't…I can't see you, or be near you, or talk to you! You're getting married, Caledon! You're the one pursuing me and yet I'm the one who's being made out to look like a whore! I can't do this!"

Caledon came close to me and whispered, "Do you have any idea how you've changed my life in the last twenty-four hours? You've been in my every thought and I wish with all my heart that things were different. But they aren't. All I ask is that you give me time, Victoria. If things are meant to be, then everything will work out for the best."

"Give you time? We only have four days left on this ship. Is four days really enough time to figure this situation out?"

Caledon wiped a stray tear from my cheek and replied, "You shouldn't get so upset about this. Did someone say anything to you."

I sighed and said, "Ruth pretty much threatened my life."

He clenched his fists and replied, "That woman just doesn't know when to stop."

"I've never been so torn about anything in my life. My head says that I should just leave you be. You're marrying Rose and this is all wrong. But my heart…something in my heart is driving me towards you and I don't know why."

"I feel exactly the same way. I can't even look at Rose the same anymore, because all I see is your face."

"But we've only known each other for a day, Caledon! How is this happening?"

"With things like this, you can't ask questions."

I wiped away the last of my tears and said, "I'm going back to my room. I'll see you at dinner later."

"Quarter to seven, right?"

"Right."

As I walked away, so many thought raced through my head. Was it worth it to give my heart to Caledon? What would my family think? What measures would Ruth go to in order to keep Caledon and I apart? And in a split second, I had the answer to everything.