Disclaimer: I love Knights of the Old Republic. :D. I read my reviews of my other fan-fic (the dark side of Carth) and basically I really don't think this is as good so you have been warned. George Lucas owns most of this stuff too. Erm.. Spoiler alert also :).

------------------

An Admirals Tale.

"We need to crush the Republican fools." The sinister woman started off by saying. Her voice was thin as ice and she made me shudder under her commands. "Right away Lord Revan." I hastily replied, harshly and cruely. I approached my officers giving them the orders and to make it quick. I didn't like it when Revan got angry, when she got angry their was no telling what she would do. However, I had noticed that Bastila was the more impulsive and unforgiving of the two. I almost trembled in fear when the unmasked Dark Lord was suddenly standing right behind me, she had such influence on me, I hated it but enjoyed being so subdued at the same time. That's when I felt her bony finger trace the shape of my jaw, I could feel her strength even in her small finger and through her dark gloves. "You know I do not like it when you don't hurry my orders, Admiral." She snarled at me, I gulped and closed my eyes before opening them again, my lips trembled and I was about to say something but she continued "Do you wish to end up like the last Sith Admiral?" She asked me, I couldn't take it anymore. I was about to break, the feeling was becoming too much. "N-.. No Lord Revan I don't." I answered, trembling in fear. The officers dare not look at me, they didn't want to see the fear in my eyes, they didn't want to break Revan into hurting them. I gulped again, she was so evil.
I turned to face her, she was not wearing her mask today and my mind began to wander. I thought about the Mandalorian wars and how Revan had bested--. I was interrupted from my thoughts, Bastila had barged in. "Admiral, you fool. What are you doing?" Bastila had asked the me. I just stood to attention and saluted her, I was about to say something when Revan interrupted. "We are going to crush the Republic my apprentice." The Dark Lord had said, I let out a breath I had been holding. "You." I turned around and faced Revan. She was talking to me. "Go." She pointed her long finger towards the door and I left in a hurry, I was living everyday of my life in terrifying fear knowing that I may be killed but I was a soldier and going down in duty was what we lived for.

***

I lay awake in my quarters, light streaming past the viewing window from the hyperspace travel. I just had the most horrifying dream. Well, it wasn't horrifying really, it was more like my memories. I remembered the glory of war, the honour of fighting. I'd always seen it this way, I was not a soldier, I was a warrior. I did not fight for freedom, I fought because I wanted to be the best. Best? I could almost laugh when I thought of it, infact I did laugh. I will never be the best because Revan has defeated me, yes... She defeated me.
*Sigh* I knew I had to report to her soon, I wondered if I will be manipulated into sex with her again. She turned me on in everyway possible, I wanted her badly but she was just using me. Using me as her pleasure tool, she is inhumane, she always has been and always will. She basically rapes me and I don't want to stop her. Does that qualify as rape? No, maybe.. Maybe blackmail. I can't deny I don't enjoy the pleasures of the flesh but when your life is at stake it makes it even more important to perform for her. *Sigh* My mind is racing with these thoughts...

***

I knocked on her quarters. "Enter" Came the rough, demanding voice of the Dark Lord. I had entered and saluted her, she was my leader anyway. She walked towards me and trailed a finger down my cheek again, I was torn. I wanted to look away but I couldn't, she brought out lustful emotions in me that I did not know existed.

I took her. Just how she wanted. I knew what she liked.. I had been doing it for the past two years after all.

We were lying in bed.. Together. In her own sadistic manner, I guess she loved me.

As for me? Hah. You *really* wish to know about me?

I am a cruel, evil man. I have a heart of ice and witnessed more deaths than anyone else in the galaxy. I have fought in the most impressive and honourable battles, I am one of the most respected people in the galaxy. I have more anger and hatred than Revan but still I tremble.. I have been bested by a woman and I can't ever forgive nor forget that. My heart has been stolen, the heart of ice and it's been shattered and broken into tiny splinters.

And you wish to know my name?

...

...My name is Carth Onasi. I am the Starfleet Admiral of the Sith fleet.