******
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Rumiko Takahashi characters named
here, nor do I own the rights to Charlie's Angels. I don't even own the
Angel sitting on top of my Christmas tree (his name is Clarence and he says
he's still waiting for his wings).
******
Once upon a time there were three different little girls.....who grew up to be three very different women....with three things in common...they're bright...they're beautiful....and they work for me...my name is Naraku.
RING
The liquid had reached boiling point. Kagome carefully lifted the beaker and poured the noxious combination into a test tube.
RING
She added three drops of acid to the test tube. The liquid turned a murky green. This was the critical part.
"You have reached the Higurashi residence. I can't come to the phone right now because I've fallen down a well and can't get out. Unless you're Lassie, please leave a message at the tone." BEEP
"Kagome, this is Myoga. Get over to the agency, we have a job."
Kagome's hand jolted at the sound of Myoga's voice, causing her to shake the test tube. A small cloud of smoke puffed from the tube. Shit. Another three days worth of work ruined. She tore her safety glasses from her face and threw them at the wall in anger.
RING
She yanked the phone receiver from its cradle. "I'm leaving right now, okay?" she yelled.
"Um, I'm sorry, Kagome. Would you like me to call back later?" The voice of Hojo came over the line.
"Oh, Hojo!" Kagome apologized. "I'm sorry, I was thinking you were someone else!"
"That's okay," he reassured her. "I was just calling to see if you wanted to go see a movie or something this Saturday."
Kagome hesitated. She wasn't sure if she was that interested in dating Hojo, but he was such a nice guy. He was also the only guy asking her for dates lately - something about her odd working hours made the others quit calling.
"I'm sorry, Hojo. I have, uh, a business trip I have to take this week. Can I call you when I get back?"
"Of course! I'll be waiting to hear from you!"
Kagome hung up the phone and grabbed her suitcase from the closet. She always kept it packed these days; a girl never knew where Naraku would send her next. Stopping only to shut off the heating ring, she left the apartment and hailed the first taxi that could take her downtown.
*******
In an entire lifetime of dates with losers, freaks and mama's boys, this one beat them all. Kagura mentally started counting the minutes until she could end the dinner and go home - by herself. Unfortunately, they had only just served the appetizer and Tatewaki Kuno appeared to be just warming up.
"Such beauty," he said suddenly, causing her to flinch. "Surely Aphrodite herself would feel jealousy in your presence." He reached across the table to grasp her neatly manicured hand in his and clutch it to his chest.
"Thanks," Kagura said shortly. Two minutes down, an eternity to go. Why had she agreed to this date? He's rich, she reminded herself. Filthy rich. Filthy, stinking rich. Do you want to work for Naraku the rest of your life? Remember, you have an expensive jewelry habit to support!
She gently tried to remove her hand from Kuno's death grip. Kuno clung tightly to it, and his face took on a feverish look.
"Goddess! Ice Maiden, you have captured my heart with your icy stares and cold embrace! I must have your love!" His voice was rising, and Kagura darted a glance around the room.
"Shhhh!" she said, frantically trying to hush him. "You're causing a scene!" she hissed. Kuno left his seat and got down on one knee before her, weeping. "What can I do to win your heart?" he sobbed. Horrified, Kagura realized he was getting tears on her dress. The silk would be ruined!
From her purse came the distinctive sound of her cell phone. Gasping in relief, she flipped it open and prayed silently that it wasn't a wrong number. For once, her prayers were answered.
"Kagura? Myoga here. We need you downtown."
"I'll be right there!" Kagura quickly muttered an apology to the still crying Kuno and ran out of the restaurant as quickly as her genuine Italian leather sandals would carry her.
*******
This one was certainly a smooth operator. Sango checked him over from the corner of her eye as she eyed the ball with her pool cue. His handsome looks had every woman in the bar going into heat. Every woman except her, that is. Sango had grown up on the meanest streets in the city and wasn't about to be impressed by a pretty face. She'd seen too many of his kind; hopping from bed to bed and not caring whose heart was broken in the process.
She watched him work the room, stopping to chat with a few. He apparently knew many of the regulars, judging by their friendly greetings. Ugh. The girls were all over him! He eventually sauntered over to Sango's table and watched her knock the ball into the corner pocket. Sango ignored him. She wasn't interested in being the next notch on his bedpost.
"You're very good," he commented after a few moments of silent observation. Sango glanced at him and said nothing as she continued to clear the pool table. Apparently he was the persistent type, because he ignored her silence and remained watching. Sango was inexplicably annoyed. He seemed so damn smug, just standing there with his hands jammed into the pockets of his blue jeans. She slid a look over to him again and regretted it. No man had a right to be so good looking, especially in a pair of jeans.
"Play?" he asked her as she sank the last ball. Against her better instincts, she nodded in agreement. "My name's Miroku," he told her as he made the first break. When she didn't answer, he continued, "do you have a name, or should I simply call you 'Belle'?"
He missed the next shot and Sango snorted. 'Belle?' As in 'Beauty'? Puh- lease, there had to be a better line than that. "I'd prefer you didn't call me at all," she told him as she sent the next two balls whizzing home. "But my name is Sango." Her shot stopped short of the pocket and she stepped back as he moved to her side of the table.
"Sango, hmm?" he said as he lined up his cue. "I wonder, lovely Sango, if you have a kind heart?"
She looked at him in confusion. "A kind heart? I don't have an evil one, if that's what you're asking. What kind of a question is that?" She ground chalk into her cue in preparation for her turn.
"Oh, I was just wondering. You see, I'm looking for a woman with a kind heart," he said casually.
So that's where this was headed. Sango rolled her eyes and bent over the table to eye her shot. "Well, I doubt I'm the woman you're looking for - oh!" Her cue dug into the surface of the table, scratching the green felt.
She grabbed his hand away from where he had rubbed her butt and pushed him against the wall. "Just what are you trying to pull, pretty boy?" she snapped, holding her pool cue across his throat. His only response was a lecherous grin. "Try that again and I'll break your hand," she threatened.
"So you do have a kind heart," Miroku smiled, rubbing his throat as she released him. "Perhaps you would do me a great favor?"
"What?" she asked suspiciously.
"Sango," he held both her hands in his. "Will you bear my child?"
"That's one I've never heard before, pervert!" She whacked her cue across his head, knocking him to the ground. Where were all the bouncers when you needed them? She was about to raise the stick to hit him again when the bartender signaled her over.
"Call," he pointed to the phone.
Sango picked it up knowing who was on the other end. There was only one person who would call her at this joint. "I'll be right over!" She slammed the receiver down on the spluttering Myoga and strode from the bar. Some local biker-gang wannabes hanging around her Harley moved away quickly when they saw her approach. Nobody messed with Sango unless they had a death wish.
*******
Author's Notes: This chapter is a bit long because I wanted to introduce the Angels properly. This is alternate universe/present time, but I am trying to keep everyone somewhat true to character. I did make Kagome older and the entire story has an American flavor to it. I can't help myself; the parody seems to work out better that way.
Oh, and this is actually a collaboration with Sophie-chan. The Charlie's Angels parody idea and the writing itself are mine, but she has been contributing a lot of ideas. Be on the lookout for a LOT of crossover characters, 'cause we plan on having fun with this! :D - Lavender
******
Once upon a time there were three different little girls.....who grew up to be three very different women....with three things in common...they're bright...they're beautiful....and they work for me...my name is Naraku.
RING
The liquid had reached boiling point. Kagome carefully lifted the beaker and poured the noxious combination into a test tube.
RING
She added three drops of acid to the test tube. The liquid turned a murky green. This was the critical part.
"You have reached the Higurashi residence. I can't come to the phone right now because I've fallen down a well and can't get out. Unless you're Lassie, please leave a message at the tone." BEEP
"Kagome, this is Myoga. Get over to the agency, we have a job."
Kagome's hand jolted at the sound of Myoga's voice, causing her to shake the test tube. A small cloud of smoke puffed from the tube. Shit. Another three days worth of work ruined. She tore her safety glasses from her face and threw them at the wall in anger.
RING
She yanked the phone receiver from its cradle. "I'm leaving right now, okay?" she yelled.
"Um, I'm sorry, Kagome. Would you like me to call back later?" The voice of Hojo came over the line.
"Oh, Hojo!" Kagome apologized. "I'm sorry, I was thinking you were someone else!"
"That's okay," he reassured her. "I was just calling to see if you wanted to go see a movie or something this Saturday."
Kagome hesitated. She wasn't sure if she was that interested in dating Hojo, but he was such a nice guy. He was also the only guy asking her for dates lately - something about her odd working hours made the others quit calling.
"I'm sorry, Hojo. I have, uh, a business trip I have to take this week. Can I call you when I get back?"
"Of course! I'll be waiting to hear from you!"
Kagome hung up the phone and grabbed her suitcase from the closet. She always kept it packed these days; a girl never knew where Naraku would send her next. Stopping only to shut off the heating ring, she left the apartment and hailed the first taxi that could take her downtown.
*******
In an entire lifetime of dates with losers, freaks and mama's boys, this one beat them all. Kagura mentally started counting the minutes until she could end the dinner and go home - by herself. Unfortunately, they had only just served the appetizer and Tatewaki Kuno appeared to be just warming up.
"Such beauty," he said suddenly, causing her to flinch. "Surely Aphrodite herself would feel jealousy in your presence." He reached across the table to grasp her neatly manicured hand in his and clutch it to his chest.
"Thanks," Kagura said shortly. Two minutes down, an eternity to go. Why had she agreed to this date? He's rich, she reminded herself. Filthy rich. Filthy, stinking rich. Do you want to work for Naraku the rest of your life? Remember, you have an expensive jewelry habit to support!
She gently tried to remove her hand from Kuno's death grip. Kuno clung tightly to it, and his face took on a feverish look.
"Goddess! Ice Maiden, you have captured my heart with your icy stares and cold embrace! I must have your love!" His voice was rising, and Kagura darted a glance around the room.
"Shhhh!" she said, frantically trying to hush him. "You're causing a scene!" she hissed. Kuno left his seat and got down on one knee before her, weeping. "What can I do to win your heart?" he sobbed. Horrified, Kagura realized he was getting tears on her dress. The silk would be ruined!
From her purse came the distinctive sound of her cell phone. Gasping in relief, she flipped it open and prayed silently that it wasn't a wrong number. For once, her prayers were answered.
"Kagura? Myoga here. We need you downtown."
"I'll be right there!" Kagura quickly muttered an apology to the still crying Kuno and ran out of the restaurant as quickly as her genuine Italian leather sandals would carry her.
*******
This one was certainly a smooth operator. Sango checked him over from the corner of her eye as she eyed the ball with her pool cue. His handsome looks had every woman in the bar going into heat. Every woman except her, that is. Sango had grown up on the meanest streets in the city and wasn't about to be impressed by a pretty face. She'd seen too many of his kind; hopping from bed to bed and not caring whose heart was broken in the process.
She watched him work the room, stopping to chat with a few. He apparently knew many of the regulars, judging by their friendly greetings. Ugh. The girls were all over him! He eventually sauntered over to Sango's table and watched her knock the ball into the corner pocket. Sango ignored him. She wasn't interested in being the next notch on his bedpost.
"You're very good," he commented after a few moments of silent observation. Sango glanced at him and said nothing as she continued to clear the pool table. Apparently he was the persistent type, because he ignored her silence and remained watching. Sango was inexplicably annoyed. He seemed so damn smug, just standing there with his hands jammed into the pockets of his blue jeans. She slid a look over to him again and regretted it. No man had a right to be so good looking, especially in a pair of jeans.
"Play?" he asked her as she sank the last ball. Against her better instincts, she nodded in agreement. "My name's Miroku," he told her as he made the first break. When she didn't answer, he continued, "do you have a name, or should I simply call you 'Belle'?"
He missed the next shot and Sango snorted. 'Belle?' As in 'Beauty'? Puh- lease, there had to be a better line than that. "I'd prefer you didn't call me at all," she told him as she sent the next two balls whizzing home. "But my name is Sango." Her shot stopped short of the pocket and she stepped back as he moved to her side of the table.
"Sango, hmm?" he said as he lined up his cue. "I wonder, lovely Sango, if you have a kind heart?"
She looked at him in confusion. "A kind heart? I don't have an evil one, if that's what you're asking. What kind of a question is that?" She ground chalk into her cue in preparation for her turn.
"Oh, I was just wondering. You see, I'm looking for a woman with a kind heart," he said casually.
So that's where this was headed. Sango rolled her eyes and bent over the table to eye her shot. "Well, I doubt I'm the woman you're looking for - oh!" Her cue dug into the surface of the table, scratching the green felt.
She grabbed his hand away from where he had rubbed her butt and pushed him against the wall. "Just what are you trying to pull, pretty boy?" she snapped, holding her pool cue across his throat. His only response was a lecherous grin. "Try that again and I'll break your hand," she threatened.
"So you do have a kind heart," Miroku smiled, rubbing his throat as she released him. "Perhaps you would do me a great favor?"
"What?" she asked suspiciously.
"Sango," he held both her hands in his. "Will you bear my child?"
"That's one I've never heard before, pervert!" She whacked her cue across his head, knocking him to the ground. Where were all the bouncers when you needed them? She was about to raise the stick to hit him again when the bartender signaled her over.
"Call," he pointed to the phone.
Sango picked it up knowing who was on the other end. There was only one person who would call her at this joint. "I'll be right over!" She slammed the receiver down on the spluttering Myoga and strode from the bar. Some local biker-gang wannabes hanging around her Harley moved away quickly when they saw her approach. Nobody messed with Sango unless they had a death wish.
*******
Author's Notes: This chapter is a bit long because I wanted to introduce the Angels properly. This is alternate universe/present time, but I am trying to keep everyone somewhat true to character. I did make Kagome older and the entire story has an American flavor to it. I can't help myself; the parody seems to work out better that way.
Oh, and this is actually a collaboration with Sophie-chan. The Charlie's Angels parody idea and the writing itself are mine, but she has been contributing a lot of ideas. Be on the lookout for a LOT of crossover characters, 'cause we plan on having fun with this! :D - Lavender