Title: Blurry
Author: Sparklehunter, with help from Seven
Date Completed: 12-21-03
Date Revised: 6-23-05
Series: Dragon Knights
Genre: Humor/Parody/General/Romance
Keywords: Nadil, Kharl, Lykouleon, Citrus
Rating: R for language, content (Citrus! Not quite a lemon. . . .)
Summary: Nadil, Kharl, and Lykouleon sit down to have dinner together at a restaurant. Things go downhill from there, with the appearance of an aphrodisiac.
Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Knights. I do own the waiter boy, waitress girl, counter girl, cook, random waiters, managers, Frederick, and Mic
e-mail: sparklehunter msn. com (w/out spaces)
Reviews: yes, please!
Blurry
Everything is Blurry. . . .
They sat there, silent, staring at the table in a steady plea for mercy. They studiously ignored each other, and the silence was so thick and strained you couldn't cut it with a knife. Or a guillotine, for that matter.
So anyway.
The waiters hesitated in the kitchen, caught between fear of the palpable tension and what the manager would do when she found out they weren't serving the guests. Other patrons of the elegant, five star restaurant had already requested other seats in fear of bloodletting and worse, and so there was a wide, empty section of tables. Those at -the- table were alone.
The new hired hand was finally voted to wait upon the lone table, and he was shoved into the dining area by all of his superiors. Kindly enough, they did ask what him what he wanted in his obituary, first. The cook had instructed the senior waitress to call the vict-er, the waiter's family.
"C-c-can-n." The boy froze, as three intense glares looked up at him. He gulped.
Intense red eyes locked onto his, and - was he laughing at his fear! The boy gulped again. Pale violet hair in a long tail down his neck was matched with thick, almost forked eyebrows. The man was dressed in a tailored red coat, edged in black fuzz, with large black buttons. -Scary-, thought the boy.
Kind, glaring, angry green eyes were staring at him, and the slight curl of a sneer was quickly wiped away. Short blond hair framed a young, almost feminine face, but it was definitely a man. He was dressed in a white half-cloak, embroidered with golden dragons, and trailing tassels. -scary-, thought the boy.
Pale violet eyes looked up at him, vaguely amused, mildly mad. His hair, white with violet tinges, swept upward like a feathered headdress. A long cloak (-Bedsheet-, thought the boy) was clasped by a gold pin. A military-style collar peered out from beneath.
"Yes," said the blond.
"C-can I t-tak-ke y-your o-order? Drinks?" The boy squeaked out the last word.
"Coffee." "Tea." "Tea."
The blond and the violet eyed man glared at each other.
"Water," they both said, and again glared.
"Okayonecoffeetwoteasandtwowaterscomingup!" the boy said, and ran.
The uncomfortable silence returned.
"Whose idea was this?" the violet eyed man said.
". . . ." the other two said.
Kharl sighed.
Lykouleon glared.
Nadil glowered.
Silence reigned supreme.
The waiter returned, dragging his feet, carrying a tray filled with the five drinks in his shaking hands. He placed their orders before them.
"H-have y-you dec-cid-d-ded on your-r a-appet-appetizers-s?"
The three glanced down at their menus, suspicion warring with tension when they realized they had not looked at all.
"We need another moment," Lykouleon said as he opened his menu. Nadil and Kharl hesitated, then followed his example.
The waiter-boy nodded, and fled back to the kitchen.
Patrons three tables away murmured uneasily.
All three Lords (1) were wondering: -how did this happen?-
It was a good question, unfortunately, the jury was still out as to the exact circumstances. Which may or may not be a cop-out.
As the three Lords studied the appetizer menu, the kitchen was busy filling orders from other tables in the restaurant.
In the said busy kitchen, there was a large pot of vegetable soup. Also in the busy kitchen, there was the older sister of a patron and his date, and it should be noted that this older sister was overenthusiastic. Can you see what is being developed?
Back at the lone table, the waiter had slunk back, and Lykouleon, Kharl, and Nadil were spitefully giving their orders. Tempers were heated, three pairs of eyes were glaring coldly, and the waiter was despondently hoping they could move beyond the appetizers.
"I-I'm s-sure-re," he said, "I-I'm s-sure the c-coo-k won't mind-d if y-you a-all ha-have v-eg-vegetab-ble soup-p." He shrank back when the three glared were transferred to him.
There was a long, painful moment of silence, and the three acquiesced. The boy breathed a sigh of relief, and scribbled down the order on his pad. He looked expectantly back at Lykouleon, and the Dragonlord continued his order.
Back in the kitchen, the older sister waitress was fingering a bottle. Her eyes glinted madly in the dull light, and in one motion she twisted off the cap. She dumped the contents of the bottle into the pot of soup, and shrank away. She giggled.
"Yay! Frederick and Mic sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love, then aphrodisiac-iarrage, then comes a baby in a baby carriage!"
Other waiters gave the girl a wide berth. -She was a strange one,- they thought.
The victim of Nadil, Lykouleon, and Kharl's table ran into the kitchen. "Where's the soup?" he said.
The cook frowned. "Vhat deed zey oh-deh, boioh?"
"Soup!andthescaryredeyedguyishungryandtheyhavefangs!" the boy said, and rushed to the pot of vegetable soup. Trembling hands filled the bowls, a sympathizer to his cause arranged the crackers, and the waiter fled back to deliver the dish.
The cook frowned. "Zhat zoopeh vahs vor vFreidevrickeh."
The singing waitress froze. "Someone stole Frederick's soup?"
The cook nodded.
"NOOOOOOOO!" she said.
The cook ignored her. Everyone else did, as well.
Back at Kharl, Lykouleon, and Nadil's table, the waiter served the soup, hands still shaking. After he left, the three stared suspiciously at the liquid. No one moved.
"What are you waiting for?" Nadil said.
Kharl glared. "And you?"
The three returned to sulking.
It took five minutes for the three of them to crack, and it was Nadil who tasted the soup first. Kharl followed, and Lykouleon was the last to drink his soup with suspicion.
Surprise (again) filtered across three faces. It was very good soup.
"Did someone poison the soup?" said Kharl.
Nadil shook his head. "I didn't think I was meeting with two enemies."
"No." Lykouleon paused. "If I had known who would be here. . . ." He grimaced. "Would have had to call Kaistern back, though (2)."
Kharl blinked. "You aren't supposed to do stuff like that!" he said.
At Lykouleon's questioning look, he elaborated. "You're supposed to play fair. You don't even eat meat!"
"I don't like meat."
Nadil frowned. "I was under the impression that Dragon's were forbidden to consume animal flesh."
"I got rid of that law after I came into power. It simply wasn't fair to forbid my people something just because I didn't like it."
The brief bout of conversation and goodwill drifted back to cold silence.
Back in the kitchen, the girl waitress had grabbed the boy waiter's arm.
"Who did you give that soup to!" she said.
The boy shrank back. "Th-the thr-ree s-car-scary men
The sister glanced at the table. "Oh. Maybe it will help, then. . . ."
The boy whimpered. Somehow, he sensed this was going to end very, very badly.
"So, what have you been doing lately?" Lykouleon said to Kharl. He took another drink of soup.
Kharl shrugged, smiling innocently. "Nothing, really. Plotting, creating. Another plan to entice Rath failed, by Rune of all people."
"What?" Nadil said. "But Rune's a little girl (3)! He couldn't save someone if-"
"Rath mistook him for Cesia," Kharl said.
"Oh," said Nadil.
"Oh," said Lykouleon.
"Cesia?" Nadil said. "But Rune's girlier than Cesia."
"I don't claim to understand it," said Kharl.
"It's getting rather warm in here," said Lykouleon, watching Nadil remove his coat.
"Yes," Kharl said, also watching.
In the kitchen, the waiter boy was balancing trays, and preparing to deliver food to the single occupied table at the front of the restaurant. What happened next could be blamed on his inexperience, could be blamed on his klutziness, on the girl waitress running up behind him, or fate deciding to make his life miserable.
This incident took place when he had managed to navigate his way to the table. His arms were shaking. Kharl turned in his seat, and the waiter boy had a flash of vertigo, and the sister waitress came running out of the kitchen toward them with a platter of smoked salmon. Lykouleon turned slightly in Kharl's direction to see her.
"Wa-" she said.
StumblethuckCRACKthump!
The waiter boy, caught off balance, stumbled into Lykouleon's chair, which overturned, spilling the blond to the side, and spilling heavy dishes where the Lord had been sitting moments before. The waiter boy froze, transfixed, and Lykouleon looked up at Kharl's face, his cheeks and ears tinged pink.
The blond Dragon had fallen onto his knees before Kharl's chair, his face resting on the inside of Kharl's spread thighs. Kharl had one hand resting lightly on the blond's back to steady him, and Nadil stood across the table.
No one moved.
What's going on?- thought the boy.
"I-I'm ,er, eh, sorry . . . ?" said the girl. No one looked at her.
Someone, move,- thought the boy. -Why is this so intense? Oh, no, the manager's going to kill me. . . .-
The boy blinked.
Kharl slid his hands to cup Lykouleon's face, thumb brushing against the Dragon's lips. Slow, deliberate movements pulled the Lord up, so that Lykouleon was half crouched on the ground and half slumped against Kharl. The waiter boy squeaked when Kharl pressed his lips to Lykouleon's in a firm kiss.
It wasn't an 'I love you, you love me' kind of kiss. It was hard and cold and hot and disturbingly passionate, vaguely possessive, and the boy and girl were aware that (if Newton's laws were correct) what was going on was almost the most 'right' action that had ever existed.
However.
When Lykouleon started moaning helplessly, tangling his fingers is Kharl's bedshe- er, cloak, and Kharl began to unbutton the silk dress shirt the blond was wearing, the boy knew he had to break the two up. It said so in the Handbook for Waiters, patrons should not be allowed to have sex at the dinner table.
"E-ex-exscus-se m-me. . . ," the boy said. "You-you c-can't-t d-d. . . ." He stopped speaking when the third man, red eyes Hungry, moved round the table to the kissing couple.
The boy expected him to stop them (4). He expected Nadil to pull them apart, and demand an explanation as to what they thought they were doing. He did not expect Nadil to kneel behind Lykouleon, pull off the Dragonlord's cape and down his shirt, and latch onto Lykouleon's neck with all the fervor that Kharl was kissing the blond with.
If it had been so wrong it was almost right before, it was now so taboo that the three were transformed to the height of perfection. In a weird, disturbing, oh-my-lord-what-the-hell-is-that way, of course.
"Y-you-ou c-can-n't-t d-do th-thiss!" the boy said.
Lykouleon's eyes opened. They were hazy and pale, the green wantonly passionate, but he managed to push Kharl and Nadil away.
"Not - (moan) - here," he said, batting at Nadil when the violent haired Yokai licked his neck.
Nadil reluctantly pulled back. "Then, where?" he said, and the boy was shocked to see him grip Lykouleon and Kharl in a possessive, bruising grip. He stood, and pulled the other two Lords to their feet as well.
"There's a (moan) hotel down the (gasp) street," Lykouleon said, while being interrupted by the two Yokai.
Nadil started out the door, dragging the Alchemist and the Dragonlord behind him. "Hurry up, then" he said, and the three vanished from the restaurant.
The boy trembled. The girl stared.
Is this my fault?- the two wondered.
"They forgot to pay their bill," said the girl waitress. "And they forgot the cloaks."
"Bedsheet," said the boy waiter, and began to laugh hysterically.
He couldn't keep his hands off them. The want, the need, the desire to have them and own them was so fierce that asking him to stop touching, caressing, biting, sucking, would have been like telling him not to try to take over Dusis. It just wouldn't register in his brain.
(A tiny, rational part of him pointed out that the comparison was ironic, what with him disrobing Lykouleon, but he ignored it.)
So he decided waiting for Kharl to open the hotel door was taking too long (which may have been because said Alchemist was busy with Lykouleon's mouth at the time), as it was preventing him from doing what he wanted to do with the aforementioned two, and kicked through the glass. In a way not quite so clunky, but not nearly as cool to say, Nadil grew impatient because Kharl was kissing Lykouleon rather than opening the door, and so he broke it open. The three of them stumbled inside, and Lykouleon pulled away. Nadil growled.
Lykouleon, shirt half off, face flushed, with bruises slowly appearing on his neck, shoulders, and back, staggered to the counter.
"May we-" he said.
The counter girl stared at him. -A gorgeous, half-naked man is talking to me!- her face seemed to say. Nadil glared at the appreciative look, and gave a menacing grin/growl, because he was good at them. The counter girl squeaked in fear.
"204," she said, and Nadil swept the key from her hands, pulled Lykouleon back into his embrace, and dragged the three of them (including Kharl) up the stairs to their room. At the desk, the counter girl realized, in her fear and sudden lust, that they hadn't signed in. Upstairs, Nadil unlocked the door to their room.
None of them noticed the room beyond the bed, and Nadil and Kharl had Lykouleon sprawled across it as the door locked. Some part of Nadil wondered why the urge to have Lykouleon beneath him was so strong, but he dismissed it - along with most of his rational thought. In this room, decorated in reds and blacks, there was no place for anything but his desire.
The skin beneath Lykouleon's shirt was smooth, creamy, and white, marred only by Nadil and Kharl's attention. It stood out against the dark blanket beneath him like icing on a chocolate truffle, fair and silken. Nadil hovered over Lykouleon, staring down at the flushed, perfect face, but Kharl pushed him away.
Kharl slid over Lykouleon's body, settling between the blonds spread legs, and resumed, again, the kiss which had begun in the restaurant. His hands, meanwhile, slid across the Dragonlord's hips to the laces of his pants, and busied themselves with undressing the blond Lord.
Lykouleon moaned beneath the violet eyes Alchemist, arching against the long lines of Kharl's body, his hands fisting in the blankets.
"Please," said Lykouleon.
"Hush, said Nadil.
Kharl smiled. "Soon," he said, and shuddered when Nadil's cool touch came upon him to unbutton his shirt.
They fell back to a silence broken only by moans. And gasps. And other nifty noises they made when someone would bite, suckle, lick, etc. them.
Next door, in room 202, a white haired man glared at the wall he shared with room 204. "I really wish," he said, "that they would be quieter."
A large white dog whined agreement.
A muffled shout of "Kharl!" came from next door, and white eyes widened.
"Lord Lykouleon?" he said. He turned back to the book on his lap, one hand straying to pet the dog's head. "Impossible."
Back in their room, the blond Lord whimpered as Kharl did -something- that should and probably was illegal, based on how sinfully good it felt. His body arched up, and Nadil licked his ear. "Are you going to beg?"
Green eyes cleared enough to glare. "Hurry up!" he said to Kharl.
"Be patient," Kharl said.
Nadil petted Lykouleon's hair. "I suppose not," he said. To Kharl, he said, "I wish you would." Nadil ran his free hand over Lykouleon's chest, and Lykouleon bit back another cry.
"I think he's ready," Nadil said, as green eyes bored into his. Lykouleon's body writhed delightfully against the Yokai Lord's, and apparently against the Alchemist's as well.
The red eyed Yokai bent to drip kissed on the blond's face, and stiffened when the Dragonlord latched onto his neck.
"Wha - (gasp)," the wind Yokai said, as Lykouleon played with his bare chest, and lathed his neck.
At a latter point in time, Nadil would wonder exactly where Lykouleon learned to use his tongue.
And then Kharl groaned, and Lykouleon bit down hard, tiny fangs driving into the soft flesh of the Yokai's neck. Nadil twitched convulsively, his claws clenching the Dragonlord's shoulders, struggling to avoid drawing blood. (5)
Kharl pulled Lykouleon's legs around his waist, and began to move. The Dragonlord arched into him, and, joined together, they looked like some kind of Heaven. Nadil stared, a feeling of . . . something, in his gut, but the desire to own that heaven won out. He grabbed Kharl's face, and kissed him hungrily.
In room 202, the white haired Dragon stared at his book, and struggled to ignore the loud noises coming through the wall. The huge white dog next to him whined, and he patted its head absently.
"I know. I know."
A jumbled cry came minutes later, and the Dragon stared at the wall.
"Crewgar," he said. "That was Lord Lykouleon. But who the hell is he having sex with? And does the Queen know about this?"
If a dog could shrug, the Dragon's did.
"I am not going to ask," said the white haired Dragon.
The three had collapsed in a jumbled heap in their room, and the only sound was their heavy breathing.
"Again?" said Nadil.
"Give me a moment." "Just a minute."
Fifteen minutes later, the white Dragon and his white dog let out anguished cries. "Why won't they stop?"
It was past four in the morning when the noises from the next room died down, and the white Dragon looked awful. Bags under his eyes, mouth thin, and shoulders slumped, he checked out of the hotel.
"Remind me never to stay there again, Crewgar," he said as he made his way toward the Dragon Castle. "And I will never, never look at Lord Lykouleon in the same manner ever again."
Crewgar nodded agreement.
Back at the hotel, Lykouleon woke slowly, the memories of his night fresh in him mind. He groaned, groped to find a pillow to suffocate himself with, but found himself pinned down by a heavy body, another body curled at his side. His legs, he realized, were tangled in both sheets and with two other pairs, and mussed strands of violet colored hair were spread across his throat and chest.
The body next the him turned out to be Kharl. The body atop him, and the Alchemist, turned out to be Nadil.
Violet and green eyes met when Kharl and Lykouleon looked at each other.
"Can you get up?" Kharl said.
"No."
"Thought so."
"I could use my sword -"
"No, thank you, I don't trust you."
"Thought so."
"Do you know how long he sleeps?"
"All day. Why?"
"Because it's impossible to wake him up. . . ."
Lykouleon nodded agreement. (6)
The Dragonlord stared at the ceiling. It was promising to be a long day.
The next day, when Kharl finally made it home, Garfakcy surveyed him with a critical eye.
"What happened to your cloak?" he said finally, taking in the bruises on Kharl's neck, the shadows beneath his eyes, and the ever-so-careful way he walked.
"Lost it," Kharl said, and stumbled past the human to his room.
Garfakcy looked at the Yokai oddly. He could have sworn the Alchemist had muttered something about untrustworthy Dragonlords before he closed the door.
At his home, the boy waiter's parents stared worriedly at their son.
He sat in front of the fireplace, staring gleefully at their entire collection of bedsheets (plus one neither recognized) burning into ashes.
Nadil stared moodily out the window, swathed from neck to toe in loose, flowing cloth to hide the evidence of the previous night's affair. On a side note, that meant he wasn't wearing anything fuzzy, or anything skintight and revealing. . . .
Shydeman was waiting respectfully by the door, waiting for Nadil to notice him.
The Yokai Lord finally turned to him.
"I should remember," he said, "that both the Dragonlord and the Alchemist from Arinas are useful for much more than death."
Shydeman stared after him as the Yokai swept from the room.
What the hell. . . ?-
The girl waiter stared mournfully at her brother.
"But Frederick," she said, "You and Mic have been going out for months! Why don't you have sex already?"
Frederick glowered. "For the last time, we're waiting until we get married!"
"Maybe it wasn't a good thing that those three got the aphrodisiac, not you," she said.
Frederick's glare turned into a stare. "Aphro -"
She nodded.
Frederick didn't know what to say.
Lykouleon tugged the collar of his shirt up higher, thankful that he hadn't yet gotten the haircut Raseleane kept pestering him about. The marks on his body were embarrassing - and he was sure Kaistern already suspected something. Although, why it was Kaistern who suspected, and not Luwalk, Lykouleon had no idea.
"Dear, why don't you come to bed? It's getting late," Raseleane said from the door to his office.
Lykouleon had a brief vision of her reaction to his encounter with Nadil and Kharl.
"I have a lot to do," he said.
She sighed. Lykouleon winced, he hated making her worry. . . .
"Good night, dear."
The Dragon Queen blew him a kiss, and retired to her chambers.
Lykouleon looked at the stack of paperwork he had requested from Alfeegi, and groaned. He pulled out a blank sheet of paper, and started a to-do list.
-Give Alfeegi a vacation - he nearly had a heart attack when I asked for more work
-Be nice to Kaistern - he suspects something, I just know it (7)
-KILL Nadil and Kharl. . . .
Kaistern smiled at Rath, and swept the boy into his arms for a hug. "Miss me?" he said, as Rath hugged him back.
Rath grinned. "YEAH!"
The white hared Dragon set the boy down, and dug into his pocket. "I have a gift for you."
"What is it?" the red eyed boy said.
Kaistern tossed a heavy gold pin to the boy. "A cloak pin. But you could use it as a brooch - or an earring, if you're creative."
"Where'd you get it?" Rath asked, fascinated, and he managed to stick the pin through his ear. He closed the clasp, and looked expectantly at Kaistern. The older Dragon ruffled his hair.
"The manager of a hotel I stayed at gave it to me as an apology. Seems his sister gave it to him. And that looks really cute." (8)
Later, when Lykouleon saw the new addition to Rath's jewelry, everyone wondered why he began to choke.
Somewhere, everywhere, nowhere, a voice sang quietly.
"Nadil, Kharl and Lykouleon, sitting in a tree
F-U-C-K-I-N-G
First comes a restaurant,
Then an aphrodisiac,
Then the morning after! (Dot dot dot)"
So it didn't rhyme.
It was still damn amusing to sing during church . . . .
The End
1. Kharl isn't a Lord, you say? . . . well, as one of the three main powers on the planet, he might as well be. Giggle.
2. So it is known, Kaistern uses poison. Kaistern's out on a mission right now (actually, he's on his way back, but. . . .) and so, if Lykouleon needed to plan a poisoning, he'd need to call Kaistern back from his mission to do so.
3. Sorry, Rune fans! Giggle, but let us just say that Nadil is underestimating the pretty elf...
4. 'Them,' of course, being Kharl and Lykouleon ;
5. I don't know if Nadil and Kharl are immune to Lykouleon's blood, but I'd assume that Nadil wouldn't know about Kharl, so he's being careful. He doesn't want his playtime interrupted. Cute, ne? --; I find it slightly ironic that two people who so enjoy causing pain and suffering, i.e. Kharl and Nadil, have to be careful not to cause their bedpartner to bleed, while the bedpartner himself is showing vampirical qualities. But that may just be me. . . .
6. Okay, so you're asking me how they know this. Kharl is Kharl, and therefore not subject to traditional laws - yeah, I think Garfakcy did some spying. Lykouleon? Well, Cesia has to be good for something - no offence, Cesia fans. Twitch.
7. O.o;, perhaps this is why Lykouleon always lets Kaistern's budget slide. . . or not.
8. OOH! Why Rath wears really big earrings - it started with Kharl's cloak pin! Ouch, that had to hurt, sticking a pin through his ear. Kaistern, stop encouraging Rath to self-mutilate!
Author's Note: Revised, took out couple lines I thought might get this removed for, reformatted it, and fixed a couple of spelling errors.