A/N: Read and Review. ... Please? I'm still trying to get the hang of
Kagome! Ja Ne!
~~~
Smothering. I don't know why I want to describe it that way. the way you are to me. the .... intense stares, the way you protect me, it's smothering. Not in a bad way though. Not like I'm going to die..... or anything like that.
How are you so hard to pin in place with a description? Overwhelming, annoying, pesky, proud, simple, complex.... insane. and I can't get enough. I feel hollow and empty and ..... alone without you. I sound sappy and disgusting, and I hate myself a little for loving you. For knowing you'll never look at me that way.... with your heart longing for me....
and sometimes you say things. things that make me think you feel something for me. and then I remember -- that I'm not a person to you. I'm not supposed to feel things, I am a thing. I find things you want. I'm a servant-- I'm a bitch, and your shard detector.
But I can't ignore how right your hand feels in mine-- or how you fight better when you think you lost me.... or how my heart beats a little faster when you're closer to me.... and how I love it when we argue.
.....sometimes we take it too far. saying things that hurt. I don't think you realize it-- but you hold my heart in your hand-- and you crush it, all the time--
I remember once, you held me close, right before you sent me home. so close..... I got your blood on my uniform.... and.... I could have died happy. I could have been.... so..... right, if you had meant .... if you had felt everything that I had felt in that moment.... and it was ruined. and my heart was crushed again. I could have died-- of embarrassment. but it was wrong. the whole situation felt... wrong. you .... weren't protecting me anymore.... you left-- and I felt so ... I was honestly scared.... not knowing if you were dead, or alive.... or....
just seeing you is enough to keep me sated. But I can dream of more.....
~~~
Smothering. I don't know why I want to describe it that way. the way you are to me. the .... intense stares, the way you protect me, it's smothering. Not in a bad way though. Not like I'm going to die..... or anything like that.
How are you so hard to pin in place with a description? Overwhelming, annoying, pesky, proud, simple, complex.... insane. and I can't get enough. I feel hollow and empty and ..... alone without you. I sound sappy and disgusting, and I hate myself a little for loving you. For knowing you'll never look at me that way.... with your heart longing for me....
and sometimes you say things. things that make me think you feel something for me. and then I remember -- that I'm not a person to you. I'm not supposed to feel things, I am a thing. I find things you want. I'm a servant-- I'm a bitch, and your shard detector.
But I can't ignore how right your hand feels in mine-- or how you fight better when you think you lost me.... or how my heart beats a little faster when you're closer to me.... and how I love it when we argue.
.....sometimes we take it too far. saying things that hurt. I don't think you realize it-- but you hold my heart in your hand-- and you crush it, all the time--
I remember once, you held me close, right before you sent me home. so close..... I got your blood on my uniform.... and.... I could have died happy. I could have been.... so..... right, if you had meant .... if you had felt everything that I had felt in that moment.... and it was ruined. and my heart was crushed again. I could have died-- of embarrassment. but it was wrong. the whole situation felt... wrong. you .... weren't protecting me anymore.... you left-- and I felt so ... I was honestly scared.... not knowing if you were dead, or alive.... or....
just seeing you is enough to keep me sated. But I can dream of more.....