Disclaimer: See Chapter One.

This is just a short little addition inspired by Eyra Dragonsworth's review, who suggested I write a fic entirely about Lucius' makeup. *bows*  Plotless, but then who ever heard of a plot when wizards and make-up are combined?  PG-13 for sexual innuendo and nymphomania.  Takes place just after the events of Chapter One.

L'Oréal Is A Wizard's Best Friend

Malfoy Manor loomed high and forbidding against the crimson sunset.  The sinking sun cast a glow upon the mansion like flames and blood.  Rays of light escaped into the Manor, red pooling into dining rooms, drawing rooms;  the red light scattering on the chandelier of the great ball room and dancing around the floor in ruby patterns.

And the light pierced into other, hidden rooms.  Through chinks in the bricks and gaps between bars, the fiery sunlight seeped its way into secret places, where all memories were of pain and suffering.

Yet there were more rooms, that no sunlight would ever enter.  Dungeons hidden so far underground that day did not exist there, and night was the constant reality.  Here, in the deep places of the earth, darkness was forever.  Yet the old darkness had been startled out of one of these chambers, for light shone in it as brightly as the noon sun.  The walls were mirrored and a single lamp reflected light back and forth into infinity. 

Here, hidden behind a labyrinth of wards and traps, the Lord of Black Magic held secret conference with his disciple.

And Voldemort, the Dark Lord, spoke unto his follower:  "Lucius, that shade really is too bright for you."

The Death Eater in question pouted through rosy red lips.  "Well I think it accentuates my cheekbones."

"But it makes your eyes look smaller."

"Does it?  Oh no!"

*

The sun sank slowly into the West, the evening stars began to shine, and night blanketed the land.

Narcissa closed the curtains, changed into her flimsiest lingerie, and then eventually fell asleep waiting for Lucius' return.

*

In the underground cosmetics room, time was endless.  Neither Lucius nor the snake-like Dark Lord were aware of the passing hours, for the house elves supplied all their needs, and both were too excited to be tired.  It seemed that part of Lucius' motivation in joining the Death Eaters was to serve a man as enthusiastic about cosmetics as himself. 

Even if that man was currently in dire need of a make-over.

"Lark Rise eye shadow with Pink Flamingo blush?" Voldemort said.

"You don't like it?"

Voldemort tilted his head to one side.  "No… it works.  Imaginative choice."

"Thank you.  And I think this Shepherd's Dawn lipstick would do wonders for you."

"Really?"

"Yes," Lucius said, "It really brings out the colour of your eyes… oh."

*

The sun set on the second day in a mundane show of yellow and pink.  Disappointing, especially considering the crimson performance of the previous night.

Narcissa decided that someone should get an image consultant for the sun.  Such unenthusiastic shows did nothing for its popularity.  Narcissa was also dimly aware that she was going slightly mad.  No Lucius for two days now.  Even the house elves were starting to look appealing.

*

"Here, my Lord," Lucius said.  "Bronzing Lotion.  Should restore a healthy glow to your appearance."

Voldemort eyed the substance doubtfully.  "I think it's a little dark for me."

"My Lord, everything is a little too dark for you."

Voldemort stared dolefully at his bone-white face in the mirror.  His face took on the expression of a kicked puppy dog.

"Oh, ah, never mind, my Lord!  Here's a nice black wig… come, put it on… oh much better!  You look very nice, my Lord."

"Where did this come from?  I didn't know you ever wore wigs, Lucius?"

"I don't, my Lord.  I got it for you especially.  I'm quite fond of my hair," Lucius said, touching a blond lock proudly.

Voldemort's face crumpled again as he touched his own hairless skull.

"Oh dear," said Lucius.

*

The third sunset was also rather lacklustre, Narcissa thought, as she lay awake in bed that night.  Too much pink.  Not enough Lucius.  She needed Lucius.  Lucius.  Lucius.  Now.  That was it.  Dark Lord or no Dark Lord, she was bringing her husband back to bed where he belonged.  Narcissa got up and headed downstairs.  Time to find her man.

 *

"Well," said Lucius.

"Well," said Voldemort.

"I guess that's it."

"Indeed.  Do you consider it a success?"

"Undoubtedly, my Lord.  Doubtlessly the best makeover I've ever performed.  Without a doubt."

Lucius was dithering, and he knew it.  Unfortunately, Voldemort's appearance was not the most conducive for intelligent thought.  The Dark Lord looked good, yes, but only to a limited definition of 'good'.  Certainly not 'good', in relation to how a Dark Lord should look.  The lotion-darkened skin combined with blond hair (Voldemort decided he wanted a change) and the baby-blue eyes were not the typical face one pictured a professional Villain to have.

But, Lucius decided, it was the best they could do.  And so it would do.

"Come, my Lord, we must show my wife."

"Of course, Lucius.  Lead the way."

*

Narcissa had just entered the Top Secret Underground Library when the secret passage down to the cosmetics room opened before her.  Lucius stepped in, momentarily blinded after the gloom of the passage.  In an instant, a pair of very dexterous hands were all over his body, and hungry lips were attached to his own.

"Hello, Narcissa," said Lucius.

Narcissa kissed him again, then pushed him against a bookshelf.  "You've been gone for three days," she said.

"Three days?"

"And eighteen hours!"

"Really?  My, my, how time flies when you're having fun."

"Well, darling, let's go prove that right now, shall we?" Narcissa said, tugging at her husband's hand.

"Ah, not just yet, sugar pie."

"Why not?"

"Because, our lord is still here—oh damn it, he's too shy to come out…"  Lucius turned to go back into the passage.

Narcissa reached out and seized one of her husband's body parts.

Lucius stood very still, and swallowed.  "Darling?"

"Yes, dear?"

"You have your hands on my…" Lucius glanced back into the passageway, where the Dark Lord was in hearing range, and listening with interest.  "…On my wand."

"So I do."

"I never thought I would say this, but, could you please remove your hands?"

"Not until it becomes an anatomical impossibility, dear."

"Oh.  Was I gone that long?"

"Yes.  And if you make me wait any longer, I'll rip your robes off right here."

"In that case, my darling, lead the way.  I am ready and anxious to follow."

Voldemort has been waiting in the secret passageway, partly out of voyeurism, and partly because he was feeling very self-conscious about his appearance.  When he heard the sound of his host's footsteps retreating he realised it was now or never.

"I'm coming out!" he called.

Lucius and Narcissa back-pedalled rather reluctantly.  The Dark Lord slowly emerged from his long make-over session.

Narcissa stared with a stunned horror.  "Oh.  Very… nice," she eventually said.  "A vast improvement, I'm sure.  You've gone blond, I see?  Suits you.  Very brave to choose a hair colour lighter than your skin."

Voldemort preened.

"So I suppose you've finished, then?" Narcissa said.  "Excellent.  Wonderful.  Stunning.  Come on, Lucius."

"Just a minute, darling.  Don't be rude.  I must say goodbye to the Dark Lord."

Narcissa pouted.  "Very well.  I shall be waiting upstairs.  Naked.  Covered in whipped cream."

"I shall keep that very firmly in mind, dear."

Lucius led Voldemort to the Apparating room. 

"Well, my Lord.  I am glad our endeavours have been successful."

"Thank you for your help, Lucius.  I know that I can rely upon your discretion in this matter."

"As in all things, my Lord."

"Good."

There was a pause.  "Lucius, your wife is very… enthusiastic."

"Yes," Lucius said.  He was silent a moment before saying, "I think she's a nymphomaniac, honestly."

"Oh.  That must be a terrible burden for you."

"No, not really," Lucius replied cheerfully.  "I'm rather enjoying it."

Both men pondered nymphomania in silence for a moment.  Lucius' thoughts were a little more pressing.

"So, er, if there's nothing else, I'll just go join my wife, shall I?"

"Yes, I shan't detain you any longer.  Goodbye, Lucius."

The farewell fell on empty air.  Lucius was already disappearing up the stairs to his bedroom, pulling off his robes as he ran.  Voldemort Disapparated at the same moment Lucius appeared in the bedroom, breathless.

"Darling, you kept me waiting for a very long time," Narcissa purred from the bed.  "Three days and eighteen hours since we last made love."

"I'm so sorry.  How can I ever make it up to you?"

"You could start by coming here."

*

The sun set for the fourth time.  Narcissa was not sure how the sun performed.  Her husband's performance was far too spectacular.

"Well," she said sleepily, "I suppose I shall forgive you now.  But three days and eighteen hours!"

"My poor darling," Lucius murmured into her hair, "How ever did you survive?"

Narcissa stretched luxuriously.  "They do say that a wand is a witch's best friend…"

~fin.

Thank you to all my reviewers.  Your comments are really appreciated, and put me in an instant good mood.  I hope everyone enjoyed this extra, slightly naughtier  chapter. 

Happy New Year to everyone. =)