the elemental cycle xii: time's maze

Field. Nice field, good field, beautiful field.

The young man sprawled in the middle of it, feeling the grass poking him, smelling the pungent aroma of crushed grasses, watching the blue sky above, hearing birdsong beyond his field of vision, tasting the sour taste of defeat in his mouth.

He was alone. No friends to help, victims to taunt, rivals to glare challenge, adults to scold, punish or else manipulate.

Where was he? Nowhere, lost, gone, beyond time and space... Racking his brain for answers, the young man pulled one word out of the swirling morass that threatened to trap his consciousness forever within a whirlpool of grief, guilt and regret.

I...

I what? What was going on? Where were they, the two that always followed him? The girl and the boy... opposites? He didn't know.

His back hurt. Why? Didn't know, didn't care, lost within the borders of time... Couldn't bother to get up, ease the hurt, whatever...

Whatever? Why did that word sound so familiar? Had he heard it before? Had he said it before?

The girl. She was important, wasn't it? A link to the past. There was another - a black-haired woman, but she struck fear and horror and anger and worse into him, and to follow that road was to lose his sanity. But this girl... she led back, to the existence he'd had before.. or did he even have one? Maybe he was born here, this flowerfield, grassy stems poking him... flower child.

'Leave your childhood behind, to a place of no return...'

What was that? Someone - him? No - wasn't him... the dark lady. The hated one. The evil one...

'RAGE!'

Who? What?

'Oww... not again, Fuj!'

Fuj? Who-

Slender profile etched against the sky... windtossed silver hair, pale fingers on the rough stone...

Fujin...

And, right behind it-

Raijin...

My friends... my posse.

'Posse... we are. We always will be.'

He struggled, wrestling answers from his jumbled memories. No - fragments of memories...

I am...

I am Seifer... Almasy...

Sensation exploded through his body, the soul returning. Memories flooded his mind crazily, sending him into a tailspin of grief and anger and hate. Yet joy was there, too, mixed in with it...

'...Sad that we have only Squall to rely on now...'

'...Such a lost, frightened child...'

'...Seifer, ya comin'?'

'Seifer! No more... please...'

'...Come with me...'

'You'll never be a SeeD!'

'...Not my favorite student... not anymore...'

'...Not without pity for you...'

'SEIFER!'

Fujin. Raijin.

I've got to go back. Somehow...

'...knight? You're just a... a torturer!'

He'd failed them. Failed them all. As a friend, as a leader, as a student, as a cadet, as a SeeD, as a human being.

The look on her face as she turned, ran...

He wanted to fall now, to fall and never rise up again, forget his past, forget everything. He was a failure. Failures didn't deserve to live, especially not people who'd done things like he had... let his posse continue without him. They would manage. They always did.

As the whirlpool of time sucked him in, his survival instinct kicked in. Seifer Almasy forced himself to go back, remembering his friends. Through sheer willpower he fought back, any way he could, finding bits of old memories to grab on to, memories he'd thought he'd forgotten. No. I won't give in! Pride resurfaced. I'll make amends. Help them. Do something. Anything I can do. Not... not just die here, nameless, forgotten, like some cheap beggar off the streets!

'It's Seifer, ya know?'

'Come back, damnit!'

Who was that? Couldn't be Fujin... could it? Raijin? Were they here? Was he back?

Someone hit him. Physical pain - it pulled him, calling him back. Again and again - someone hitting him, the feel of warm tears hitting his cheek-

Slowly his eyes opened.

Blink.

Raijin grabbed Fujin's arm midswing. The young woman's face was decorated with a streak of tears, even as Raijin's was perfectly dry.

'He's back!'

Seifer blinked again. The words were said in a hushed, reverent tone that was unnerving in its relief.

'Seifer...' Fujin sank back on her knees - she'd apparently been standing - and stared at him, as if disbelieving. He realized he was sitting in a chair, in what was apparently a hotel room.

'What happened?' he demanded, albeit somewhat weakly.

'Ya were in time compression, ya know?'

Seifer nodded. He remembered.

'How did I...'

'Dunno, ya know? Ya just came back, ya know?'

'... Was someone hitting me...?' Seifer mumbled.

'Uh...' Raijin cast a look at Fujin, who stood, a slightly wan smile crossing her features in a flash.

'...Guilty as charged...' the girl murmured.

Seifer grinned. 'S'okay. I think it even helped.'

Raijin grinned as well. 'D'ya think we could... sorta... go fishin', ya know?' The young man seemed to be able to take anything in stride as long as one of his friends didn't die.

Seifer laughed. It felt good to be alive.

'Sure!'